Let's start off by saying how GREATFUL i am for ALL of you. I've never had a story that has blown up this much before, nobody knows how happy i am about it. Your comments ALWAYS make my day when i see them appear as a notification, so thank you for voting and commenting, much appreciated! â¤ï¸
BY THE WAY. guess who's my biased in stray kids, and comment yours! (i will reveal my bias in the next chapter and tag those who got it right)
TW: Profanity, Fluff, mentions of SA.
YONGBOK'S POV:
It's been four days being at my mothers house, and since i had talked to Hyunjin. I can admit it was refreshing seeing his face again. Although...it only became harder to sleep. I'm so exhausted.
Yujun was out with Jisung and my mother i was too 'much' to go, i didn't want to drain anyone's energy with my mood so i decided to stay back and get as much rest as i could. I couldn't sleep anyway for an obvious reason but now for another, the previous conversation i had with my mother.
FLASHBACK
"I understand why he protects me Eomma! I know enough about that already, i just don't understand why he didn't tell me, and you being my mother don't you think i should've been the first to know, huh?"
"Felix, honey. You know how sensitive you are with the subject of trafficking. The way your father died in the first place. If you would've known you wouldn't have went out for God knows how long. So yes, i asked Hyunjin to protect you and get closer to you so you could still enjoy yourself whenever you please but he'd be with you. I honestly didn't expect him to fall for you this badly. He even told me the day after you two argued to cut the pay and he'd only be protecting you out of love. If you don't believe me i'll show you my account log."
I couldn't even blink twice before she whipped out her phone, showing me her log, which met the exact dates she explained. I mentally sighed to myself, maybe he does love me....right?
END OF FLASHBACK
I can't deal with this anymore. I'm tired of missing his touch. I'm tired of thinking about him on the daily. I'm tired of missing his scent. And most importantly i'm tired of thinking how badly i want to kill him, rip his heart of, and throw his body off a bridge.
I push the thought aside once i heard the doorbell ring. Oh right. My mother said i should be expecting some relatives, i honestly never got along with anyone in my family except her, Jisung, and my sisters. Therefore i decided not to get dressed, just made my way downstairs in white pajama pants covered in pastel blue teddy bears, a spaghetti-strap top with a blue teddy bear in the middle, and the famous white crocs i wear a little too often. With socks this time i promise.
I sighed before opening the door, i may be an extrovert but sometimes talking to people becomes overwhelming and in this moment i dont feel like it. Finally i opened the door, not even looking at who it was, bowing and walking away.
"Yongbok?" I hear them call out to me. I turn around at the familiar voice and saw Hyunjin, standing in the door way. I didn't know what to be...Mad? Excited? Annoyed? Confused. To be honest it was all of the about.
"Hyunjin...what are you doing here?" I looked down at my pajamas and to the right into the mirror at my messy hair, this was so embarrassing.
He looked at me confused as if i should've known he was coming.
"Your mom invited me, and said she told you..."
"She didn't tell me.... Oh my fu-" I sighed once again, slapping myself on the forehead. She thinks she so fucking slick.
"Well i dont why you're here and Yujun is out, you can see your way out as well." I say casually for opening the door back for him. He sighed, got closer to me, and closed the door.
"Can we not make this so fucking hard, im not in the fucking mood to argue with you today. I dont know why you're here and i dont like suprises so just-" My complaint was ignored by him pulling me into a hug. It was so sudden....it felt so warm.
"Are you calm now..?" He says after some time in a small voice i've never heared before, including the small tremble i could tell he were controlling. He slowly pulled away with a faint smile that almost made me break, he looks so exhausted.
It broke my heart to see how worn out he looked, the dark circles under his eyes, messy hair that he somehow managed to look good with, and his pale skin. I thought he looked bad until i remembered what i looked like. Maybe i should just see where this goes...for now.
"Have you eaten anything?" I ask him breaking the silence, his eyes that never left me grew wider and somewhat happier if i could explain it. He nodded. I could tell that was a lie.
"Don't lie to me, you're trembling, i can see it."
"It's fine, Yongbok. I just wanted to see you again, if you want to let your anger out i've prepared myself for it." I'm going to act like that didn't shatter the rest of what i have left into pieces.
I decided to ignore those words and head straight over to the kitchen. I decided to make him bibimbap since it was quite simple. It contained rice, sunny-side eggs, gochujang saunce, cucumber, bean sprouts, shredded carrots, sautéed shiitake mushrooms, and sautéed spinach. It was healthy but also tasty so it should've been the perfect meal at this time. He kept refusing to eat it because he didn't want to be "pitied" but i shoved it into his mouth like he does me anyway.
I almost laughed at him gagging but i didn't want to break character. He acts like Yujun when i tell him to eat something he does like.
"I like it." He says taking another bite. I sighed in relief i was deadass going to kick him out if he didn't, it took forever to make that, everybody knows i fuck up everything i make except brownies.
"Mmh, Ya, why haven't you been eating?"
"Too much on my mind to have an appetite."
I sighed. I felt those words 100%. He finally finished after a while and took the plates to the sink to wash them like he usually does. I watched him as he did so , if i was being honest i felt better having him around again. It may have been awkward but at least it was calm and we weren't arguing.
"Hyunjin..."
He looked up at me, humming in response.
"I know this may but sudden but i'd really like to know....Do you really love me..?"
"Yongbok.....I don't just love you, i'm in love with you. Every second of the day has been miserable without you and that's the only reason i will allow myself to see you any chance i get. I know i probably look a mess now but i couldn't miss out on you especially hearing that you didn't mind having me here. That was a lie, i understood that earlier but that's fine as long as we aren't angry and yelling at each other, i'm happy to be here.... You don't understand how happy i am right now just looking at you."
I started to feel my cheeks heating up. Man i need therapy.
"Well...can you tell me why you never called Jeongin after you two broke up...What seriously happened between you two, i feel like there's more to it."
"Ah, i hate mentioning him, but i promised myself i would hide anything else from you, no matter our stats."
I softly smiled and hummed in response, patiently waiting for him to speak on his mind. It seemed pretty big so i decided not to rush him and let him explain on his own.
"Well..... Jeongin and I were never actually together. Yes, there were times where we've gotten close, kissed a few times, yes. But i never let myself sleep with him, no matter how many times he asked for it, i always told him no.
One night it got to a point where were close again, but once again i declined it because, to be honest i always saw him as a younger brother, you know? He invited me to drink with a few of his friends and at that time he knew i was protecting him, we already had a little 'discussion' about it. The night was normal, we didn't talk much i was actually talking with a girl that i sort of like at the time. The drinks finally came...I thought he were drinking the entire time.....but....turns out.... i was the only one who was drinking that night...."
My heart stung already knowing where the story was going. I didn't know Jeongin was that type of person....I didn't know Hyunjin went through this...so much went through my mind all at once, it all just came pouring out of me.
"You're telling me...he...he..."
"Hey, Yongbok-ah, dont cry. I'm okay now. It's all over with, i overcame it a long time ago, ya?"
HYUNJIN'S POV:
I honestly never wanted to tell him this story, he may have the nonchalant act but he's actually a ray of sunshine in the mind, i knew he would cry and i HATE seeing him cry no matter the occasion ....well......except one but now is not the time.
I hesitated before pulling him into a gentle hug which he accept, throwing his arms around me and pulling me closer towards him.
"Yongbogie." He look up towards me with teary eyes. I smiled towards him placing a small peck on his nose. His pout was so adorable i almost picked him up and threw him out the window.
"I'm okay, i promise."
"But...it's not okay Hyunjin....that should never be okay."
"But as long as i got you, everything is okay."
His sighed before letting me go, yet still holding onto my hands.
"How about you get some rest?" I ask him, changing the subject before i start crying myself, and i most definitely will not cry again in front of him.
"I actually haven't been able to sleep..."
"Ah, i feel you on that one...maybe i could help you?"
He hesitated a bit, i chuckled before leaving the front door and heading to my car.
YONGBOK'S POV:
Huh, how come he left? Impatient isn't he? How selfish.
HYUNJIN'S POV:
Finally, making it back inside i see him sitting at the counter with his head down. I can't tell if he was sad thinking i left or if he's just tired. I softly tap on his shoulder causing him to look up at me with a pout, but that immediately left once he saw his favorite plushie being held in my arms.
"Hyunjin, you still have it! Bokari hiii~" he cooed.
"Why wouldn't i? It stays in my car so i can have it anywhere i go."
"Oh you're creepy."
"Not creepy, just missing the boy i love."
"And corny.....cute..." His eyes slowly shifted from me and back to the plushie.
I chuckled before handing it to him. He quickly grabbed it and pulled me into a hug. Damn i should've did this a while ago. He look up towards me and i looked down at him, his smile still glued to his pure skinned face. So gorgeous as always, even when he looks like he hasn't slept in 8 months.
"Damn, Yongbok, you're so fucking cute." I say sighing dramatically. He giggled and pushed me away from him.
"Call me Felix, Hyunjin. Now let's go, i'm tired."