CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Thump!
Kalila repressed a giggle and skated to the left, bending down to help Alex up from the ice again. "I can't believe you talked me into this," he grumbled wiping his wet hands on his equally wet jeans.
"At least you're smiling now unlike before," she laughed, gliding around him in circles effortlessly.
Momentarily forgetting that he couldn't ice skate without holding anything, Alex let go of the rail and stared at her in shock. Once again she had figured out something wasn't quite right with him without so much as a hint. He was so accustomed to plastering on a smile, acting as though everything was just peachy all the time that it threw him completely off his game. Nobody else could do that, not even Tyler and Lacey who had been his best friends for over a decade.
"Thank you," he said, so quietly that she wouldn't have heard if she wasn't paying careful attention. He didn't explain why he was thanking her though, he didn't really need to.
She smiled shyly in reply before grabbing hold of both his hands. They were so much broader than hers, enveloping them with skin that was rougher but still slightly soft for a guy. Alex's cobalt eyes grew brighter; the murky darkness of pain fading to a softer ocean-like hue. Realising just a little too late that Kalila was intending to force him into the middle of the rink as far from the railing as possible, he involuntarily let out a yelp in fear of tripping over his own feet for what felt like the billionth time.
"Dontcha trust me?" she asked jokingly, bemused at his reaction. She had taught a lot of people ice-skating over the years, many of whom weren't very good but Alex was the icing on the cake. No matter what she said, he just couldn't quite get the hang of balancing on the ice never mind the actual skating part.
His fear of falling was too huge.
He smiled then, willing his muscles to relax and let out the breath of air he was holding. Although Kalila had meant it as a joke, she was correct; there was nobody else he trusted quite so much as her. Everyone else just saw the good parts of him but she knew all his flaws, his fears and mistakes and yet she was still there. She hadn't let go when she had seen the worst of him so why was he scared she would let go now?
And with that thought in his mind he skated forward, slowly and wobbling a little but skating nevertheless. "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" he exclaimed excitedly, concentrating carefully as he watched his feet, not being able to keep himself from beaming in pride.
'He's so cute,' Kalila thought to herself as she smiled in fondness at the boy still clutching onto her hands as if she were his lifeline.
What she didn't know is that she was.
The rain had come to a standstill, birds chirping in melody as they leaped from tree to tree. Alex was walking home after ice-skating with Kalila for about an hour. Her boss â Liz â had taken a picture of the two of them on the ice with his phone, commenting how 'cute' they were just before he left. Surprisingly the grin on his face in the picture looked genuine, the sparkle in his eyes was dim but still present. Kalila had managed to completely cheer him up.
Again.
He had been intending to go straight home to transfer the picture onto his laptop so it could be used for their art project that was due soon. There was also the matter of a Biology essay to write on the density of stomata in plants but he had something else on his mind.
Not for the first time he wished he could tell his sister about Kalila. Alice would know what to say, she always had been good at giving him advice about girls. She was the one who had warned him away from Melissa even when he didn't listen and when the shit hit the fan, she was the one there.
'She's not here now though,' he thought as he looked up at the rusted gates and brick wall in front of him. Preston Cemetery.
He hadn't been here since her funeral. Many times he had tried to come out of respect and the desire to feel close to Alice again but he just couldn't bring himself to go anywhere near it. It would make everything feel more real.
They hadn't spent a day apart since they were born and not being able to have any privacy or secrets irritated the both of them. His friends were her friends and even in school they hung out together.
Although he often used to complain about having a twin sister, he'd give anything for her back now.
Alex shook his head and took a deep breath, entering the graveyard. For a home of dead bodies, it was very pretty. With bright flowers placed lovingly on white tombstones and tall hedges standing to attention, it reminded Alex of a scene from Alice in Wonderland.
He hoped his sister was also in wonderland now or at least somewhere as equally beautiful.
The rain was still falling slowly, the drops of water glistening in the faint sunlight. Although he had only been here once before â on the funeral when everything was one big blur in his mind â he remembered the exact position of his sister's grave. The third one in the seventh row on the left side.
Here lies ALICE VICTORIA BATES, beloved to all whom she knew. May she finally rest her head upon the sky and sleep amongst the stars. {4th April 1996 - 29th August 2013.}
The writing was in italics, carved in the white marble so delicately. Although Alex had allowed his aunt and uncle to sort out everything, he had insisted on the inscription. It was from a story their mum had once told them at bedtime about a little girl who roamed the earth looking for the perfect place to sleep at night. The then nine year old Alice had laughed and said that Earth was boring and if it were her she would have slept above it, using the sky as a pillow and the stars as a blanket.
Funny how a random, insignificant comment almost forgotten about could end up being the words which would be the only thing to present her to others for the rest of forever.
'She would like it though,' Alex thought with a sad smile as he slowly walked forward and knelt down, his knees sinking in the moist soil covering her coffin. With his head bowed, he watched raindrops fall on the ground and trickle along the tombstone in front of him. He scrutinised the way they all fell separately and then towards the end they combined together as he started to talk.
His voice started off as a hoarse whisper as he began telling her about everything that had happened so far, growing louder as he went on. He told her about school, about his aunt and uncle and their kids, about how Tyler and Lacey were getting on and he told her about Kalila.
Kalila.
The girl who had walked into his life by accident but ended up becoming so important to him, the girl who was the only reason he was still alive right now and wasn't alongside his sister.
He knew that even if she was a terrible person, Alice would love her simply because of that.
Alex didn't know how long he sat there, rain on his skin and mud on his knees but as he finally stood up slowly a while later, he realised he felt a lot lighter. Perhaps talking to his sister was all he really needed to feel better; after all, Alice would never want him to blame himself for her death even though it was true.
As he raised his head higher, he noticed a lone figure in the distance placing bright red roses on a grave. He squinted against the sunlight to take a good look as he knew the man looked familiar somehow but couldn't quite place it. After watching him for a minute, Alex shook his head slightly in a futile attempt to get rid of the rain soaking his hair and started to walk towards the exit of the graveyard. Although he could not deny it was a beautiful place, it was still a place of death and gave him the creeps.
It was only as he was about to leave that he had a spark of realisation. Eric. Eric as in Kalila's cousin, Natalie's boyfriend. In the five minutes or so that they had met, he seemed like a total asshole that couldn't care less if he was the reason for his fiancé's suicide so if Alex hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn't have thought the guy had a decent bone in his body.
'Probably the grave of someone in his family or something,' he thought with a final look at the now completely empty graveyard. Curiosity getting the better of him, he turned around to walk swiftly to the grave Eric had been standing in front of.
The tombstone was black with gold lettering and the inscription was long but only the first line stood out to Alex.
Here lies NATALIE MARIE WOODS, beloved daughter, sister and friend.
His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, Alex started walking back to the exit to get home to the pile of homework he had to finish before Christmas next week. His last thoughts before forgetting the subject completely were 'perhaps Eric does regret it and miss her; not everything is black and white after all.'