...Learning...
First thing in the morning, Zeke brought you to a hospital in Liberio.
You sat on an examination table, swinging your feet. He sat against the wall, checking his wrist for the time.
A middle-aged woman with dirty blonde hair entered. "Doctor Galliard. Pleased to meet you, Ms. Fritz-Ackerman," she introduced, shaking your hand. "Sorry for the early appointment. This is the only time we can fit in for you."
"Galliard? You're Porco's mother?" You could see the resemblance. Except her eyes were blue, and his was more of a hazel. Nothing compared to teal.
"Indeed I am, and I hear you've already met him." An assistant pushed in a cart full of odd equipment. "This'll be very quick. Could be slightly painful at first, but it'll be over before you know it."
"Wait, what are you doing?"
She glanced at Zeke humorlessly. "You didn't think to tell her beforehand, Jaeger? How can she feel proud of herself if she doesn't know what good deed she'll do?" She turned to you with a warm smile. "My dear, this process is called 'phlebotomy.' The scientific act of drawing blood for testing and experimenting."
You shrank away when she reached for your arm. "Draw what? For what? What do you need my blood for?"
"Not me, my dear. General Magath and his trustworthy innovators will make great use of it and strengthen our forces in the best way possible. Don't worry, we won't drain you to a pulp. It'll be just a small amount, enough to fill this little bag up here." She patted the clear bag hung on a pole.
"That thing's bigger than my head."
She chuckled. "Aren't you a funny one?" She picked up a syringe connected to a tube. "Do you prefer the left or right arm?"
Taking out blood was something you'd never heard of before. Back home, people would probably fight to preserve their blood to stay alive. But you weren't home; you were in Marley, and you had an act to keep up. Besides, you'd be lying if you weren't curious about what your mixed blood actually was about.
You hesitantly passed her your left arm. She inserted the thin needle into the inside of your elbow, and red traveled up the long tube to the bag. Bit by bit, it was filling up with your scarlet red blood.
"All done." She carefully slid out the needle. "I will see you next week."
"Wait, next week? All that's not enough?"
"Well, of course it isn't. Experiments take time and material. By drawing your blood weekly, we'll make sure they'll never run out of material, and they can perfect the advancements and strengthen us all." After setting all equipment back in place, she and the assistant rolled the cart back out. "Say hi to Porco for me, please!"
You turned to Zeke. "Ph...pho...phla..."
"Phlebotomy."
"Phlatomoly," you repeated. "You didn't tell me I was going to do a phlatomoly."
"Phlebotomy," he corrected again. "What did you expect? Stick the label 'hero' on you and call it a day? Of course they'd make good use of you. There's only one Fritz-Ackerman in this entire world. Unless you have a sibling that we don't know about. Or a secret love child."
"Hell no. The storks have never even visited me before."
"The what?"
"You could've at least given me a heads up," you complained. "You said all I had to do was meet somebody. Not give the literal blood from my veins away. And plus, that lady's weird."
"Don't let Porco hear that."
"I don't care. He's probably weird too if he's her son. She talks like she rehearses everything the night before. Talking like I owe them something for the way I was born. It's still my blood. My body."
He faced away and rolled his eyes as if you were being unreasonable. "Well, here's your next heads up: we're heading to the training grounds next. Magath wants to see for himself the legendary strength of the Ackerman Clan."
. * . *
"Is that her? Is that the Fritz-Ackerman?"
"Gabi, why do you want to see her so bad? You hate the island devils."
"I do, Falco! But they said she was a soldier. I just need to see for myself how 'powerful' a devil can be."
While Zeke and Magath were surveying from the cliff, four children hid behind a stack of hay, discreetly trying to get a closer look at the new guest. A Marleyan soldier was explaining what each weapon on display was for and how to use them.
"But Pieck said she has no memories of her past," reminded Zofia.
"Not to mention, Mr. Porco said she's very easy to get along with," said Udo. "She doesn't sound like a devil."
"Oh, shut up, you guys! Once a devil, always a devil." Gabi narrowed her eyes at the girl with h/c hair in a bun, raising up a pistol. "Behind that innocent facade, I just know there's something evil lurking deep inâ"
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. All five targets, bullseye. Not a mark missed. You blew out the smoke of the pistol and rested your hand on your hip. Damn it, I was trying to hold back.
Gabi's jaw could touch the ground. "Howâhow did sheâwhat?! But she's never even used one of those before!"
Next, you picked up the rifle, aiming it up at the vertical targets on a pole. All four of them were shot dead in the center. The soldier passed you a sack with lumps of weighted metal and instructed you to throw it as far as possible on the field. You slung it into the air. You had to squint your eyes to pinpoint where it landed.
"Thaâthat's a new record," said the soldier, dumbfounded.
"Really." You weren't even trying.
"Woah," mumbled Falco in awe. "Gabi, remember when you said you wanted a strong female soldier to look up to? I think we just foundâ"
Gabi shoved him off his balance on his heels. "Don't you dare! I would never look up to the devil!"
Minutes later, Reiner was called up to the field for your combat display. He did a double take when he saw his little cousin and her friends, poorly hidden behind that fort of hay.
You waved. "Hi again. How's it going? Runner, is it?"
"Reiner," he corrected, getting into a stance. "Good day to you too."
The last time you sparred with him and won was back in the Training Corps. And the last time you saw him was the day you and Eren first kissed. Both were not even a year ago. Incredible how much could change in such little time.
He charged at you first but you dodged, sliding low to the ground and swiping him off his feet with your legs. He got back up and lunged at you again, but you ducked under his arm and gave him a shove on the back. He threw a strong punch that missed and was countered by a roundhouse kick to his head.
You were toying with him, and he could feel it. Even without her memories, she still fights like she used to. He sent an underhanded attack, but you snatched his wrist and twisted it until it cracked. When he grunted in pain, he saw in your eyes that concentrated, deadly Y/n he knew. She's still in there.
Unbeknownst to him, you were entirely still there. You ended the fight with a harsh knee to his stomach, dropping him to the ground. You pinned his arms behind his back and stomped your foot on them to keep him in place. Then you glanced up at Magath and Zeke and held out a thumbs up with a bright smile.
"HOW?!" outbursted Gabi before Falco covered her mouth. They ducked down when you spared them a glance.
You removed your foot from his back, letting him get up. "How'd the dirt taste?"
He wiped it off his cheek. "Months...years later, I still can't beat you."
You tilted your head. "We've fought before?"
"A couple of times. You won every match."
"Have I? Might be a sign to start putting in some work, man. 'Cause that whole thing was kind of sad. I don't even think I broke a sweat."
He snorted. "I, uh, always watched you spar with our friend, Annie. Annie Leonhart. Does that name ring a bell?"
You took a moment before shaking your head. "No. Sorry."
"What about Bertholdt Hoover?"
"That's...a pretty difficult name to remember, even if I did know him."
He shrugged. "Fair. What about, um...Eren Jaeger?" he asked with less certainty. "He and you used to be close. Really closeâto the point where we all thought you two had something deeper going on."
"Sorry. I only know one Jaeger."
He nodded, almost looking disappointed. "Got it."
That wasn't entirely a lie. In your mind, only one Jaeger mattered. The other could go jump off that cliff anytime he liked.
"Satisfied, General? Seems that Mr. Ksaver's findings about the Ackerman Clan weren't a myth after all," said Zeke.
"It's still too early to tell," said Magath. "She could've been merely lucky. Or it was a complete fluke. Even so," he showed the slightest smile of complacency, "yes, color me satisfied. Because no matter what's true or not about the Ackermans, we just got our hands on the most powerful one alive."
A little while later, when you were practicing taking apart a rifle and putting it back together, familiar faces headed your way with some kids trailing behind them.
"Be nice now," Reiner told them.
'Be nice?!" screeched a brunette girl. "She just kicked your ass! And you're telling us to be nice? Can you still be nice?!"
"Gabi, shush," said Pieck softly, patting her on the head. "Hi Y/n, mind if we join? You've got some little fans who wanted to meet you."
"Not at all." You pointed to the little people with a screwdriver. "Whose kids are these?"
The brunette girl scoffed. "Kids? We're Warrior candidates! We're not kids!"
Reiner cleared his throat. "Hey, hey, Gabi, calm."
"Right..." You slowly nodded. "How old are you guys?"
"Nine," said the shyer-looking blond boy.
Gabi swatted him. "Falco, shut up! Don't tell her our personal information!"
You snorted. "My bad, Gabi. Forgive my memory loss. Must've forgotten that nine-year-olds count as full-grown adults, too." Her little friends giggled. "Here, since you're so grown and strong, why don't you lend a hand?" You held out the rifle and nodded to the rack.
She staggered back. "I would never help a devil!"
"Woah." Reiner pointed a finger, attempting to be stern. "No, Gabi. Stop it."
"Y/n isn't a devil," said Pieck, crouching beside her. "She's one of us now."
"You don't know that! She could be faking it! Then we'd all be played for fools!"
"Gabi, that's enoughâ"
"No, she has a point," you said. "None of you know me. So of course you'd have your suspicions. Maybe I am playing you all for fools. You'll just never know."
"I knew it! I knew you wereâ" Her following words were muffled by Reiner's hand.
Falco stepped in front of her and bowed profusely. "I'm so sorry about her, Ms. Fritz-Ackerman! She's just really stubborn! Please don't feel offended!"
"Offended? Please, I'm not that childish." You handed out the rifle again. "Come on, Gabi. Be an angel and show the devil how it's done, will you?"
She slapped Reiner's hand away and stomped over like an angry garden gnome. "Fine! I will!" She snatched the rifle but it dropped to the ground the moment you let go.
"Damn, look at those stacked-up muscles," you commented, pinching her tiny little biceps. She shook your hand off.
"Don't touch me!" She tried picking up the rifle again, but it probably weighed as much as her. "I'll put this in the rack! You'll see!"
You hovered a hand above her head, comparing your height to hers. "Didn't know adults came in these sizes either." You're lucky you weren't here to hear that, Levi.
The others were clearly entertained. She kept struggling but didn't surrender. Having watched enough, you took it from her easily.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, kid. Build up some muscles before you start barking. And grow some sharper teeth while you're at it."
She shot you a fiery glare. In that same moment, a pair of teal eyes flashed into your mind. Your heart pounced. "You're persistent, I'll give you that. But word of advice? Don't judge someone you don't know. It'll just make you look stupid. Got it?"
You set the rifle back on the rack and left with the Marleyan soldier for your next plans.
"She's so cool," you heard Falco whisper behind you.
"No, she's not!" hissed Gabi.
You stretched your arms behind your head, zoning out at the sky. The other three kids were nice. Especially the blond one who probably had better manners than you. But that girl? You couldn't believe what you were thinking.
No fucking way out of everyone I've met, it's this little twat that reminds me of him.
* . * .
In Magath's office, you shook hands with a man who had long, blond, silky hair that rivaled Mikasa's dark locks. Just like everybody else, Lord Willy Tybur also mentioned out of courtesy how "honored" he was to meet you.
You sat across from him on the couches while Magath was by the window.
"Before we start, I'd like to present you with a gift." He slid over a small wooden box.
"Oh. You didn't have to, but thanks." When you opened it, your reluctance disappeared into thin air upon eyeing the gorgeous trinket. A chain attached to a gold locket embedded with little jewels. But its arms were dead, unmoving at the top.
"This was the prized locket of Prince Klaus Fritz-Ackerman of Old Eldia. It was the sole artifact he kept with him during the entire war, and when he died, he passed it on to his lover, my ancestor. A Lady of the Tybur family. I figured this should belong to you. Which lawfully, if they had married, would've made us family."
You almost threw the locket back at him. The amount of people popping out of nowhere and turning out to be your "family" was so unbelieveable that your memory of the orphanage felt like an illusion now.
"Thank you for this," you still said because at least it was pleasing to the eye. "Why am I here again?"
"I wanted to meet you in person after all this time, of course, but also to share with you know the real history of how Eldia was defeated. How much do you know about your predecessor?"
"Basically nothing." That was the truth. Whatever you knew, you'd learned it from elsewhere.
"You see, not many people know anymore that he was the sole hero who won the Great Titan War for Marley. He's been erased from history. The rest of the world has forgotten him. Marleyans talk about their hero over him. And the small groups of Eldians who carry this knowledge of his existence believe him to be a traitor. But I will tell you why:
"He was the illegitimate brother of the 145th Eldian King, Karl Fritz. The brothers Karl and Klaus fought side by side on the battlefield. But Prince Klaus saw the world past the kingdom his brother ruled. Saw how they've made the world an unlivable hell. So, during the Great Titan War, he conspired with Marley and the Tybur family to use the powers of his mysterious blood and stop his brother.
"But he was seen as a traitor and killed by the Eldian army. Full of grief, King Fritz finally saw the world through his brother's eyes. The cruel reality. He and his people retreated to the Island of Paradis, leaving some behind, and crafted the walls you had once been caged in."
Holy shit. It was like an elucidation. Suddenly, everything finally made sense. No wonder those wall believers hated you. Because you had same potential as the guy who saved the rest of the world but ruined his own. They just feared you'd do the same.
"In four years' time, we will launch an attack on Paradis," said Magath, leaving his tiny corner.
Your eyes darted to him. Thank god his attention wasn't on you, or else he might've caught the brief shock on your face.
"Our objective is to capture and control the Founding Titan. We learned from Reiner Braun, the Armored Titan, that the current holder is a boy by the name of Eren Jaeger. Is that name familiar, Y/n?"
"No, sir."
"We've deducted that as long as he remains in power," continued Willy, "the entire world will be in constant danger. We hope in four years, we can stop him once and for all, and you will do just as your predecessor had a century ago. What do you say?"
You nodded firmly. "I understand. I will do everything I can to eliminate all threats and enemies. Save the right side of the world. And protect the people I care about."
That was no lie. That was a promise.
. * . *
Two weeks had passed since you were gone.
People you didn't know held memorials for you, even conducted rituals to get their you back, and littered flowers everywhere. The titan-cleansing excursions slowed down. There were no more primary and secondary squads. It was all under Levi and Hange now. They especially abided by these rules after a private chat with Zachary.
"With all due respect, Commander and Captain, how idiotic has the Survey Corps gotten to ever consider splitting groups?" he had asked with genuine concern. "Have you grown so comfortable being in the outside world? If so, why don't we all move out there? I'm sure she has fans that would gladly venture outside. Starting with her biggest one. Wonder how Jaeger's doing."
Certainly not well.
As for the others, without you, the job of being funny fell onto Connie and Sasha's shoulders completely, but sometimes they didn't even feel like making jokes anymore. Jean started constantly wondering if he'd done the right thing that day by leaving you, and imaging what could've gone differently if he didn't give up that easily. Hange lost her favorite source of entertainmentâher favorite teenage couple. Levi couldn't find a replacement to drink tea with. He didn't even try searching anyway.
Mikasa became stoic and only focused on her soldier work. There was only one person who could bring out the fun and light-heartedness of her, but you weren't there. Armin didn't bring up his dream of visiting the sea anymore or any of his dreams. Nobody else was as open-minded and as supportive. And nobody was there to stand up for him anymore when Floch and his friends insulted him for being Erwin's replacement.
Some acted as if you were already dead. But not Eren. He wasn't mourning as if you were just another sacrificed comrade. You were still alive out there. And you were fighting your way back to him. He was sure of it. Even if he may feel even more depressed than all of them together, he refused to admit it.
His favorite place became your room. He always worked on the paperwork Levi assigned to him there. Sometimes, Mikasa and Armin would stay too and have tea while they all did work. But the fourth chair was always empty.
Whenever the paperwork made him too dizzy, he'd look up at the wall. At Jean's drawings of you. But even without the drawings, Eren could remember you picture-perfectly. So much so that he'd grown accustomed to critiquing Jean's artwork. In one of the portraits, your eyes were colored in too dark, leaving out that spark you always had. On the other, your lips weren't drawn to their fullest. The one at the top was the closest to you, where you were smiling, but those few strokes and shading still couldn't capture that charm Eren had fallen in love with.
That's right. I never got to tell her that I love her. The world really knew what perfect timing meant.
On the days off, he'd visit various flower shops and get a bouquet of bluebells every time. They were all set by your window. Flowers didn't have to only be for mourning; they could be romantic. So if the civilians could dedicate flowers to you, then so could he.
He never slept in the bed because it was too cold. But sometimes, he'd sit in a chair by it, laying his head on your pillow and falling asleep. Anything to feel closer to you. He'd settle for anything until you were back in his arms. And he would never let you go again.
*
happy thanksgiving
im thankful for anyone still reading this
cuz lord knows i didnt write 130k+ words just to sit in the dust