Chapter 17: •CHAPTER-16•

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Pakke sehan ki mazboot sidiyon ka manzar tha. safaid tiles par dhair hotay kisi wujood ki krah sadma. wehshat be yakeeni aur phir wohi aawaz jo is ke hawaas mukhtal kar diya karti thi. aik jhatke se kanch toota tha. sheeshay ke tukre bikhare the. cheekhain ubhri theen.

Jannat… N-Nahi jannat… please K-Khuda ke liye... Jannat… mera baccha...!

Usey saans Laine mein dushwari ho rahi thi. bukhaar ki hiddat se peeta wujood dard ki lapait mein tha. takleef ki shiddat se krahte hue usne be cheeni se karvat badli. phir zair lab barr badate hue rone lagi.

zehen aik baar phir ghamdghi mein doob gaya tha. dobara jab usey hosh aaya to raat ke daidh baj rahe the. usey bhook ka shiddat se ehsas huwa. muh ka zayeja zahreela sa ho raha tha. usne etraaf mein nigah dorhayi. kamray ki khirkion par dabeez parday giray hue thay. lights off theen, sirf nilgon bulb jal raha tha. heater on tha, tab hi kamre mein sardi ka ehsas nahi ho raha tha. gehra tanaffus lete hue woh kisi qader koshish se uth kar baith gayi thi. aakhri manzar jo zehen mein mehfooz tha, woh gaari ka tha.

madham si nilgo roshni mein faris usey samne coach par nind daraaz dikhayi diya. ankhen band theen. tanaffus hamwar. yaqeenan gehri neend mein tha. jannat ne dahine haath par nigah dorhayi. canolla mojood tha. drip utar chuki thi.

Usne bad side par rakhi dawaon ko dekha. phir ulje bikhare balon ko samaitt kar farsh par qadam jamate hue uth khari hui. lamhey bhar ke liye lar kharayi phir sambhal gayi.

Uska rukh washroom ki taraf tha. wash basin ke samane ruk kar usne khud ko aaine mein dekha. chehare ki sard jild ko chhuwa. surkh dooron wali bheegi hui aankhon ko dekha. be sakhta kisi khayaal ke tehat safaid lbade ki khuli dheeli aasteen ko upar kiya.

bazu par moujood zakham ki bandage ki gayi thi. usne bandage ko hata kar dekha. chaar tankay lagey the. woh aik baar phir apne aks ki taraf mutwajjah hui. peshani par neel ka nishaan kuch gehra lagne laga. usey fikar hui. mrs. Shirazi se chhupana ashad zaroori tha. warna woh dekh kar sawal karengi. sawal aziat se dochar kere ga. aziat nakayto mein dhal kar aankhon mein ayaa hogi aur phir uska koi bhi jhoot unhen mutmaen nahi kar paye ga.

Muh dho kar woh kamre mein wapas aagai. garam shawl kaandho par daalti be had ehtiyat se bahar nikal gayi. seedhiyan utar kar usne kitchen ka rukh kiya tha. kuch hi der mein freezer khole surkh mutwaram aankhon se khanay ke liye kuch dekh rahi thi.

chicken kadahi, fried fish  usne microwave mein khana garam Kiya aur abhi kursi khech kar khane ke liye baithi hi thi ke qadmon ki aahat samaat se takrayi. niwala toar kar saalan mein dubote hue woh dekhe bina hi jaan gayi thi ke raat ke is pehar sidhiya utar kar neechay kon araha hai.

Pehley freezer khola gaya. doodh nikala gaya. Cabinet khol kar patti aur cheeni ke  jar talashe gaye. burner jalaya gaya .

aur is douran woh atraaf se yaksar be niaz khamoshi se khana khati rahi. chaye cup mein daale woh sauad hall lounge mein ja kar baith gaya tha. open kitcehn se woh baasani dekh sakti thi.

T.V. on kiye, channel surffing karte woh ghoont ghoont chai, apne andar utar raha tha. jannat ne bas aik lamhey ke liye uski pusht ko dekha, phir sapat tasurat ke sath, sink mein istemaal shuda plates rakh kar apne kamre mein aagai. bad side table par dawaon ke sath auqaat ki nishandahi karte notice  bandhe. kon si tablet kis waqt leni hai aur din mein kitni baar leni hai sab darj tha. lab bhinch kar woh glass mein pani undhelne lagi.

dawa laine ke baad usne apna lehaaf aur takiya uthaya aur aik baar phir apni Sabiqa jagah, yani sofe par ja kar late gayi.

phir jane kab uski aankh lag gayi thi. aur khuli tab, jab kisi ne kandha hilaate hue pukara tha. aawaz ghair manoos thi. ankhen khol kar usne khud par jhuke chehray ko dekha. kuch dhundlaa sa tha.

"Kya baat hai?" aawaz bhaari thi.

"Ab kaisi tabiyat hai aap ki?"

jannat ne us larki ko dekha jo garam kapron par siyah rang ke sweeter mein malbos, dupatta saliqay se jamaye chamakti roshan aankhon se usay dekh rahi thi.

"kon ho tum?"

"Mein aqsa hoon jee!"

"Aqsa kon?" hawaas kuch bedaar hue to woh uth kar baith gayi.

"Abdul gafoor ki beti!" Abdul gafoor unke mali the wo Saher me kam karte the magar family gavo me rehti thi. Aqsa ab kuch mutfakir nigahon se usay dekhnay lagi.

"Aap theek hain jee?"

"Haan!" chehray par dono atraaf se phisaltay balon ko kaan ke peechay urrjte hue usne kaha phir sar utha kar khirkion ki taraf dekha. dabeez parday dooriyon mein bandhay hue the. Sooraj ki taiz roshni chhan kar andar aa rahi thi. kitne dinon baad Sooraj nikla tha.

"Aap ke liye kuch khane ke liye lau?chicken soop banaya hai jee, meethay mein kheer bhi banai hai."

jannat ne be sakhta dahinay haath ki pusht par nigah dorhayi. cannula utar chuka tha.

"Mein yahan kab aayi thi?"

"Parson shaam mein aap ko sahab laaye thay."

"Sahab laaye the? " phaans ki tarah koi shai jannat ke halaq mein atki.

"Kaise laaye thay?"

"Utha kar laaye thay jee aur kaise laate?" woh heran ho kar jannat ko dekhnay lagi. jannat ka rang ura.

"Aap ki itni tabiyat kharab thi. jism mano aag mein jal raha tha." aqsa ne baat jari rakhi.

"Mein saari raat baith kar thande pani ki pattiyan hi karti rahi. phir faris sahab ne dr ko bulaya. tab ja kar aap ka bukhaar kam huwa" bare sansani khaiz andaaz mein chehray ke tasurat ke utaar charhao ke sath apni baat mukammal kar ke usne jannat ko dekha. Woh herat se aqsa ko dekh kar reh gayi.

Guzista chowis ghanto ka uske paas koi hisab hi na tha. Nahi use kuch yaad tha. wo chand lamhe khali zehni kefiyat se bethi rahi. Phir usne uth kar shower liya. Kapde badal kar usne mamool ki tarah brush se baalo ko suljha kar clutcher me jakda. Sweater pehna, shawl odhi. Fir aqsa ke hamraah niche aa gayi.

Himmat jama karke usne mrs. Shirazi ke kamre ka rukh kiya tha. Dastak de kar darwaza khola. Wo samne hi bad par bethi dikhai di aankho par glass lagaye kitab padh rahi thi. jannat par nazar parte hi unhen khush gawaar herat ne ghair liya.

"Jannat beta! bahar kyun khari ho, andar aao"  lehjey mein kitna pyar tha aur aankhon mein kitni fikar thi. bhaari qadam uthaati woh be had khamoshi se un ki baho mein sama.gayi thi.

'Jo kuch sun chuka hoon woh sab mein ko batau ga to woh kya sochen gi? aik aisi larki ko baho bana meethi hain jo infertile hai, jis ne apni sotan ke bachay ki jaan lainay ki koshish ki hai. jis ke khandan ke log usey achhot ki tarha treat karte hain. aur jo apni maa ki mout ka sabab bani hai.'

kitni hi der tak woh un ke seene se lagi rahi thi. aur phir kitni hi der tak un ki aankhon se jhalakti is mohabbat ko bhi dekhatii rahi jo waqti inaam aur adhoore khawab jaisi thi .

"Ab kaisi tabiyat hai?" unhon ne usk sar uska maatha chooma tha. usne palke jhapka jhapka kar aankhon mein ubharti nami ko rok liya tha.

"Behtar hai!" unhon ne mazeed kuch na poocha, koi baat na kahi, koi sawal nah dohraya. bas apne baazu ke hisaar mein liye jane kya kuch parh kar is par phoonkti rahi.

"Nazar lag gayi hogi. Us din meri beti pyari bhi to bohat lag rahi thi."

jo bad duaon ke zair assar rehte hon, unhen nazar nahi laga karti. magar woh yeh baat mrs. Shirazi ko nahi bata sakti thi. kuch waqt un ke paas khamoshi se bita kar woh aaraam ki gharz se kamre mein aagai thi. aik baar phir usne pur sukoon rehne ki koshish ki thi. aur aik baar phir band aankhon ne uski har koshish nakaam bana di thi. aur woh phoot phoot kar ro di thi.

woh mrs. Shirazi ko kisi bhi soorat pareshan nahi karna chahti thi. unhen kisi gehri aziat ya sadme se dochar nahi karna chahti thi. woh un ki aankhon mein apne liye nafrat, nagwari jaisey tasurat nahi dekh sakti thi aur nahi un ki duaon mohabbat aur shafqat ke saaye se mahroom hona chahti thi.

woh janti thi faris ne unhen kuch bhi nahi bataya hoga. woh apni maa se be panah mohabbat karta tha. aur jab yeh tay tha ke kisi deal ki tarah tay kiye gaye is rishte ne bhi khatam ho hi jata hai to woh ghar mein khwamkhwa ki tension peda nahi karna chahega. woh ab bhi us par koi dabao nahi daaley ga. Us par sakhti nahi kere ga. roz maraah maloomat ko waisey hi chalne de ga jaisay woh pehle se chal rahay the. pichlle teen mah ki routine qaim rahay gi.

sakht nagwari, na pasandeedgi aur ghusse ke bawajood ab bhi us par koi roab nahi jamaye ga. woh ab bhi apni maa ki khatir usey apni itna margin diye rahega ke woh is ghar mein apni marzi wa mansa se waisay hi zindagi guzaar sake, jaisi woh pehle guzaar rahi thi taakay un ke mabain talluq ki noiyat ki inhen khabar nah ho. magar kya ab woh pehle ki tarah wajdan house mein reh paye gi? yeh aik mushkil sawal tha.

Uski saari koshishen is rishte ko barqarar rakhnay ke liye theen. magar ab usay yeh na mumkin lag raha tha. mustaqbil ke hawalay se usne bohat kuch soch rakha tha. magar ab usey andheron ke siwa kuch nazar nahi aa raha tha.

Woh naaqis, adhuri, namukammal woh kisi ki zindagi ka hissa nahi ban sakti thi. mohabbaton par uska koi haq nahi tha. qudrat us par meharban nahi thi. zindagi guzaarne ke liye umeed chahiye. aur umeed ko bhi to aik umeed chahiye. magar uske paas ab kuch bhi baqi nahi raha tha. woh khaali haath tehi daman thi. ab mustaqbil ka koi manzar, koi khawab, koi khayaal usey qadam uthane par majboor nahi kar raha tha. woh aik hi maqam par ruk gayi thi. tham gayi thi. thehr gayi thi. aur jamood ka yeh ehsas usey andar hi andar se khatam karta ja raha tha.

Raat ka na jane kon sa pehar tha jab uski aankh darwaze ki aawaz se khul gayi thi. kohni ke bal upar hote hue us ne haath barha kar lamp on kar diya tha. jannat kamre mein nahi thi. Usne phir table clock par waqt dekha jo raat ke dhai baja rahi thi. woh usi waqt uth kar kamre se bahar agaya. raahdaari se lounge ka jaiza lainay ke baad usne study room ka darwaaza khol diya. phir seedhiyan utar kar neechay agaya. aik baar atraaf ka jaiza lete usne kitchen ka rukh kya, library, studio, dining hall, setting room usne har jagah dekh liya magar jannat kahin nahi thi.

jhunjhalahat ke aalam mein woh saddar darwaaza khole bahar agaya tha. Samne hi woh shadeed sardi mein lehaaf oorhay sidiyon par baithi dikhayi de gayi thi. faris wajdan ke jabde bheench gaye the. Ankhon mein nagawari ke sath sath shakti utar aayi thi.

Ghusse se kadam uthate woh uske paas aaya tha. aur phir usi ghusse aur be dardi se usey baazu se pakar kar khenchte hue andar le aaya tha.

Darwaaza band kar ke woh is ki taraf mura to woh sir jukaye khaali khaali nazron se farsh ko tak rahi thi.

"Ab kya chahti ho?" Saanp ki tarah phankar kar usne poocha tha.

"Ab kon sa nuqsaan hai jo karna baqi hai? yahi chahti ho yi tumhari wajah se bimar padh jayen?" baazu se pakar kar usne be dardi se jhanjoora tha. jannat ka sar tab bhi jhuk raha. labon par qatal tha. aankhon mein weerani hi weerani thi.

Faris ka bas nahi chal raha tha, woh usey thappar laga de. mrs. Shirazi uski ghair mamooli khamoshi ko, uski aankhon ki weerani ko, aur chehray ke maskhi shuda tasurat ko tabiyat ki kharabi par mhmol kar rahi theen lekin faris jaanta tha woh theek hai. jaan boojh kar aur sirf tawajah laine ke liye yeh sab kar rahi thi. dramebaaz thi. situation ko apni marzi se istemaal karna usey aata tha. woh mrs. Shirazi ko is mamle mein involve karna chaah rahi thi. jane kaisi larki thi? kaisi soch rakhti thi?

"Mein agar khamosh hoon, to sirf is liye ke mein mummy ko tension nahi dena chahta." Usne shadeed ghusse ke aalam mein us par wazeh kiya tha.

"Tumhe un ka jara sa bhi ehsaas hai?" woh khamosh rahi thi.

"Meri jagah aur koi hota to aik lamhey ke liye bhi tumhe is ghar mein bardasht nahi karta"  usne jhatkay se bazu chhorh kar dabi aawaz mein kaha tha.

"Aakhri baar keh raha hoon, apna yeh huliya aur rawayya durust karo, warna mein khud mummy ko tumhari asliyat bata kar is ghar farigh kar dun ga! kam az kam roz roz ki tension se to jaan chhuut jaye gi" zair lab barr badate hue woh seedhiyan charhne laga tha.

Jannat ne sar utha kar usey jata dekha. ankhon mein yak dam nami tairne lagi. faris ki dhamki ka asar tha ya mrs Shirazi ki fikar usne khud se lar kar, khud ko kisi had tak sambhaal liya tha. woh hashash bashaash aur kuch had tak fresh nazar ane lagi thi. waise hi unhen waqt daine lagi thi jaisey Lahore jane se pehlay woh guzashta teen mah se deti aa rahi thi. lawn mein ghoomna, kitaaben parhna, ikathay namaz parhna, ayaat ko discuss karna, dunyawi khabron par tabsare karna lekin dar parda bohat se kaam aise bhi the jo usne chhore diye the.

usne faris ke mamlaat mein mudakhlat hatmi tor par band kar di thi. aur ab us ka saamna bhi woh kam se kam karne lagi thi. kamre mein tab hi aati jab woh so chuka hota. subah uske bedaar hone se pehlse hi uth jati. aamna samna sirf nashte ki table par ya raat ke khane par hota aur us douran woh bhoole se bhi nazar utha kar usey nah dekhati.

ab faris ke bed room mein nah taaza phool sajtey the, na muattar khushbu bikhrti thi. na kamre ki setting badalti thi, nah uski ashya ko haath lagaya jata tha. aahista aahista usne dressing table se apna make up ka samaan bhi hata diya tha.

dewaron ko bhi paintings se mahroom kya tha. bed sheets, khirkion ke parde bhi usne bdlwa diye the. aik aik kar ke us ne apni har nishani is kamre se mitayi thi. aik aik kar ke usne apni har cheez wahan se hatai thi. ab usey Faris ke kamre mein apni pasand aur marzi ki koi cheez chahiye bhi nahi thi. ab jab qadam laho lohan hue thae to woh apne hathon se hi har zanjeer toar kar khud ko azad karna chaah rahi thi.

'Magar ye azadi! Ah! Ye azadi!' soch aur khayalat mein ghalta, woh kab kaise chalti hui namaz wale kamre mein aagai usey nahi pata tha. sar ba sajood daal kitni hi der woh siskiya le le kar roti rahi thi. usey andaza nahi tha. aur jab sir uthatay hue seedhi hui thi to nam aankhon ke sath apni jagah muqeem kar reh gayi thi. darwaze mein hi Mrs. Shirazi moujood theen. unhon ne uske aanso-on se tar chehra dekha. aankhon mein tar chehra dekha.

Jannat apni jagah munjamad hui baithi thi. ansoo aankhon mein thehre the. dil jaisey ruka huwa tha. shayad woh ab pooch len ke jab se Lahore se aayi ho, itni khamosh kyun ho? zindagi se khafa kyun ho? kya ho gaya hai tumhe? kyun badal gayi ho jannat? agar unhon ne pooch liya to woh kya betaye gi? kya jawab degi?

"Dua maang li bacche coffee ki talabb ho rahi hai. agar tumhare hathon se bani mil jaye to?"

muskurate hue unhon ne aik dam se yu kaha jaisay unhen iske ansoo nazar hi na aaye ho. woh ansoo Allah ke samne bahaye gaye thay. woh Allah ke liye hi the.

Jannat ne khushk labon ko tar karte hue unhen dekha. phir asbat mein baa-mushkil apne sir ko junbish di.

halaanke usne dua nahi mangi thi. usne bas peshani tikayi thi aur rona shuru kar diya tha. bhala woh usey kya batati jisey sab ilm tha. jo is ki rag rag se waaqif tha.

"Mein kitchen mein hoon." unhon ne wheel chair ka rukh mourr diya tha. ankhen aasteen se ponchhte hue woh woh uth khari hui. nigah usri yusra ki aayat par ja thehri. bas aik lamhe ke liye phir galoon par se aanso-on ka nishaan mitati woh kitchen mein aagai thi.

Usne mrs. Shirazi ko dekha. goad mein dhari diary unhone counter par rakh di thi. aur haath barha kar kuch likh rahi theen.

"Tumahra kya khayaal hai jannat! Mehroomiyo par sabr kaise aata hai?" Coffee bana kar woh un ke paas aayi to apna muh uthatay hue unhon ne qalam rakh kar poocha tha. Usne unhen dekha. fori tor par koi jawab uske zehen mein nahi aa saka.

"kaise aata hai?" Kuch der ke baad usne ghoont bharte hue poocha. woh janti thi Mrs. Shirazi is topic par kuch likh rahi hongi. jawab un ke paas hoga. yaqeenan hoga. salawon par ghhor karne walon ko jawab mil hi jaya karte hain.

"sukoon shuqr se aata hai, shuqr, sabr se hota hai, sabr Allah ki Raza mein raazi hone ka naam hai aur Raza Allah ki hikmat par bharosa karne se aati hai. bharosa imaan aur imaan yaqeen se hota hai."

ghoont ghoont coffee apne utarte hue woh unhen khamoshi se dekhne lagi.

"Aik mehroomi ke sath dhair saari aataye bhi to hoti hain. ab mujhe dekh lo." woh muskarayeen.

"Apahij ho gayi hoon, lekin Allah ne mujhe bolne, sunne aur dekhne ki salahiyato se mahroom nahi rakha. woh aik mehroomi bohat bhaari hai. magar is ke sath bhi itni aataye hain ke mein shumaar nahi kar sakti..." unhon ne aik lamhe ka tawaquf kiya

"Mein jab ataa par ghhor karti hoon to mere andar suqr ka jazba sar uthata hai. yahi jazba mujhe meri mehroomion par sabr sikha deta hai. sabr Allah ki Raza se jura hai. Raza Allah ki hikmat par, uski rehmat par bharosa karna sikhati  hai aur mein sochne lagti hoon ke yaqeenan us mein mere liye bhalai hi hogi. yaqeenan Allah ne mujhe kisi barri museebat se bachane ke liye is azmaish mein dala hoga. ya mujhe woh in halaat se is liye guzaar raha hoga taa ke woh badlay mein mujhe kuch accha aur behtareen ataa kar sake."

Mug par girift mazboot kiye jannat khamosh baithi thi.

"yaqeen se ibtida karti hoon to shuqr pa leti hoon. shuqr se aaghaz karti hoon to yaqeen mil jata hai!"

Coffee ka khaali mug ka honthon par rakh kar unhon ne diary uthali. jannat bhi apni jagah se uth khari hui thi.

"Auntie!" wheel cheer ka rukh morty hue unhon ne ruk kar usey dekha.

"Jee beta!"

"Allah ki zameen bohat badi hai. jo uska ho jaye, uske liye kam nahi padtee. woh usey phir be ghar nahi hone deta, hai na?"

sidiyon se utar te Faris Wajdanke qadmon ki harkat yak takht thami thi. kitcehn ke counter ke us taraf woh mrs Shirazi se mukhatib thi.

"Beshaq"  unhon ne wheel chair ka rukh mora phir kuch soch kar ruk gayi.

"sajdon mein girne walon ko Allah kabhi girne nahi deta jannat!"

Jannat ki aankhon mein nami thehr gayi. Badkat muskurate hue usne unhen dekha.

woh mrs. Shirazi ko kyun faramosh kar baithi? usne wada kiya tha woh unhen un ke pote se milwaegi. usne khud se ehad kya tha woh un ka har lehaaz se khayaal rakhegi. to phir ab kyun himmat chhor baithi thi woh.

'Nikah aik contract! jab tak woh hai.  haan tab tak, tab tak usey mrs. Shirazi ke sath un ki duaon ke saaye taley rehna hai. Mohabbate aisi bhi hoti hain. aisey bhi millti hain. Allah ke pyaron se! woh sarshari ke aalam mein sochey jarahi thi.

faris unhen kabhi bhi uske maazi se aagah nahi kerega. unki mohabbat us ke liye qaim o daaim hi rahay gi. aankhon mein nafrat ka ta-assur nahi ubhray ga. lab dua se khaali nahi hon ge. woh un ke potay ke liye un ke sath khari rahegi.

aqab mein saddar darwaaza khol kar faris wajdan bahar chala gaya tha.

jannat kamaal ab bhi mrs. Shirazi ko hi dekh rahi thi.

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