chapter 33

Chapter 6 A fiery encounterDulari, who was also in tears, put a commiserating arm around Anu’s shoulders before she followed Ganga out. The touch broke Anu’s trance. “Chintan!” she whispered and stared hard. Then, as if her soul was bedazzled by his very presence, she looked down.He had changed, he looked as if he had suffered hard times. It was not just the unexpected short hair and clean-shaven face that made him different, but he was leaner, with a slight stoop, as if weighed down. In the bright light of the morning, there was no mistaking him. Yes, he had been there last night, she realised and her heart jumped in joy and then dipped in pain.“I am glad you still recognise me,” Chintan said sarcastically.She didn’t look up and suppressed a whimper at his harsh words. She had wished for and imagined the moment of her meeting Chintan unexpectedly several times, playing and replaying the scene in different settings. Sometimes he was with a girl, sometimes he was alone. But whatever the situation, she had always imagined that she would look into his eyes and see that he loved her still. That they would reunite in love and with quiet dignity.Today, he was here, alone. His eyes bored into her, holding her guilty. She was unable to meet his eyes! She had suffered a great humiliation, and he had been a witness to it! This was not how she had imagined it would be. She trembled at what he must think of her.As if to answer her, he asked, “So is this what you do these days? Make women take up arms against their men?”“I couldn’t see her suffering,” she flushed angrily, his tone cutting through her like a sword. Finding his eyes studying her intensely, she looked away embarrassed.  “I didn’t know you were here. I heard Dulari call you Anu that evening, but I couldn’t make out… You look different,” he said.“You do too,” she whispered. “I didn’t think it was you though I recognised the voice. And then Ganga called you darling…”“She will call you darling if you stayed a day longer,” he chuckled wryly.“What are you doing here?” she asked.“The reason I like to give? Working for the MFI. I travel to villages sometimes on their NGO related work…”“Oh!” her heart beat fast. “And, the real reason?”He was silent, his lips drawn into a thin line. “Would you like to leave now? Is your bag ready?”“Your farm…?” she asked hoarsely. Seeing him avert his eyes, she went into the room, her chest bursting from the pain caused by his indifference. Even one kind word about the fiasco last night would have been balm enough. With difficulty she gathered her clothes, picked up Jamna behn’s keys and came out. The tears flowed non-stop. “You don’t have to do this,” she said, trying to speak calmly. “I will find my way back.”“Oh?” he asked. The syllable was short, but the heat of anger emanating from it was like a blast from an inferno. “Don’t worry, I will not step into your house or visit you ever again! I wish I knew how to drive with my eyes closed so I will never know where you live!”“Oh Chintan!” she exclaimed, stretching a hand to touch him. “Don’t kill me with your words!”He recoiled. She withdrew her hand, as if singed. “So what should I do? Kill you with my silence? Like you did?”“I was lost! My mother died… I felt guilty. I had shouted at her!” Anu said between sobs. He stood erect, his face wooden. “She made me promise…never to have anything to do with you! I…”“And so you left abruptly?” he demanded in disbelief. “How many messages, how many missed calls! You didn’t think I deserved a reply?”What could she say to that? “I was scared…”“Of what?”“That I would break the promise.” He looked at her stunned. “Chintan… I couldn’t have kept my word if I had seen you. I was confused. Your father obviously would not help you if you tried to see me…” She looked up with pleading eyes. “I didn’t know what to do…”“Two years, Anu?” he asked, his voice soft and laced with pain, his body leaning towards her. “For two years you were confused? Or…” he straightened. “You couldn’t be bothered?”She cringed at his tone. “Couldn’t be bothered?” she asked in disbelief. She too drew herself up with dignity. “You mean, if I don’t care about us?” He inclined his head. “Maybe we should leave,” she said, ashamed of having to give proof of how much she loved him still, how much she had suffered.She stepped forward, but he put out an arm to block her. She glanced up. He held her by the arm and demanded angrily, “Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?” She lowered her head. The tears gathered afresh. “Do you still care, Chintan?”