38

As much as my pastime with Jordan included passing retorts at each other, our churning stomachs placed a truce between us.

Slumped on the sofa, we watched the TV, where food commercials were certainly not helping with our emerging hunger and salivating mouths. However, as the door clicked and revealed Dad dressed in his chef's uniform, both of us ran for the dining chairs without care.

And the zucchini noodles Mom had prepared previously were all attacked at once. Not only was it still warm, the avocado pesto was melting into my tongue, its creamy texture appeasing my taste buds all at once. However, describing the usually amazing food was last in my priorities; I just needed to eat and that was all.

"Look at both of you, eating as though you haven't been fed for days." Dad chuckled, finding our actions amusing. "Marina, why won't you just let them eat dinner first?"

"It's a tradition in the family that we all have dinner at the same time," Mom reasoned, dismissing his regards. "Besides, Jordan might end up finishing your portions."

While Jordan continued relishing his dinner, he narrowed his eyes at the noodles like it was its fault for his huge appetite. I choked on my laughter while I was chewing on my own food, and his darkened eyes quickly glittered at me. Huffing, he shook his head as he used his escape route: his phone.

Speaking of which, I briefly glanced at my own for any new notifications. At least, one or two texts from the girls or even Mark would be enough, but my heart promptly sank to find a completely blank screen.

I should have expected this, though. With the regional tournaments closing in, tons of rehearsals swarmed Mark and Naomi's schedule to the core. Aly volunteered to help with the practice, while Sam juggled her duties with the student council. On the other hand, at this time Edward was still doing his shift—I would not be even surprised if he managed to work overtime again.

Slurping the final strands of my chewy noodles, I leaned back on my chair and glanced at the ceiling, my mind shifted towards Seb and Lynn and their whereabouts. Lynn was obviously with her basketball team, while Seb... I believed he mentioned he had some work after school.

Looking back at my phone, I realized I neither saved nor asked for their numbers—their names were absent from my contacts. When we meet, let that serve as a reminder to request them tomorrow.

Depositing my empty dish into the sink and gulping a glass of water, I contemplated on how all of my friends had their own special interests. Well, it was not like I did not have my own—I could help Mom and Dad prepare ingredients for tomorrow, and while doing so, I could ask Dad for recipes for his pastries. With that, perhaps I could finally be inspired to develop some of my own.

But... I have some homeworks and a long biology project to finish—

"You're so restless when your boyfriend doesn't text you." My great and wonderful brother decided to mutter this out as he curled his lips to form a smirk. The worst thing was that I was still drinking my water, so I nearly burst everything out.

"Sheesh, I told you, he's not my boyfriend!" I whispered loudly as I impulsively slammed the empty glass into the sink, rattling the entire plates and pans. Thankfully, Mom and Dad didn't seem to catch that.

"So, why do you look as though you're disappointed?" He interrogated, following me into the living room. What the heck is up with him today? Did he usually not give a damn about me?

"I thought you said you're not the type to poke their noses into someone's business. Change your mind?" I forced a smile.

"I know I shouldn't care," Jordan breathed. "But I have something to tell you."

"W-What?"

"That guy you're with... l don't get good vibes with him. I mean, just look at him." He crossed his arms. "He's like one of those emos and punks who thinks they're special when they're not."

In a snap of a finger, my frown deepened, my brows creased to the center and my nostrils flared. All of these unnecessary, unprovoked insults aimed at Edward seriously plucked my nerves, especially coming from my brother. He did not even know a single thing or two about my friend, what was with the sudden judgment?

"He's neither," I retorted.

"Yes he is."

"No, he's not!" I gripped my jaw, clenching on my phone. Well, even if he is, who the hell cares? God, he's like that Alfred jerk!

"Explain his hairstyle, then. They always do that shit, acting like they're so depressed or something when it's just them being obnoxious," Jordan snorted and shrugged. "You don't want to associate yourself with those people."

Yeah, that was it. I have heard enough.

"Because he got into a freak accident and lost one of his eyes!" I exclaimed, noticing how my voice jumped a notch. As much as I wanted to just scream on top of my lungs, right into his stupid face, drawing my parents' attention was no good idea. "He sustained bad scars too, that's why he grew his hair and covered it, so stop calling him names!"

Jordan's eyes went round and his jaw slightly hung open, but it was all in a flash; he immediately clamped it shut. His gaze broke off into nothingness, whilst my breaths were the only noises stuffing in the silence.

"Oh, well then... that's unexpected. I... didn't know that," he murmured, scratching his head before he headed for the stairs, back to his room. "I... I have no comment on that."

"Good." Never did it feel so good letting all of my strong emotions out, however... a memory collided against me like a truck spiraling out of control. Not only did my chest tighten, but I stopped dead in my tracks as all kinds of regret came crashing down.

The promise I had made to Edward... I just relentlessly broke it.

"Please don't tell anyone about what you see. Please, Serena."

His pleading words bounced against my skull, haunting me on each and every corner. A pang of guilt came stabbing through me like a butcher knife, accompanied by phantom, throbbing pains. I pressed down on my lips, but not too hard until my teeth might draw blood. I lowered my head in shame—the shame of not keeping his words.

Edward had counted on me to stow the secret behind his hair—even as people might or might not know about his past. He had complete faith in me, but here I was, spilling the beans to my brother.

Proving to Edward that I was an honest and dependable friend was all I really wanted. Knowing how much he was currently wary of trusting anyone, I wanted to be someone he could be comfortable with and someone he could simply call should he need someone to lean on. I remembered how extremely confident I was in not being a loudmouth.

Oh, how I ended up underestimating it. What was the point of being friends when there is no trust?

I trod up the stairs, and each footsteps, the dread grew ponderous than ever, coercing the shit out of my soul. I clutched against the banister, brushing through it, causing my palm to leave a long trail of cold sweat. When I gradually reached my room, the vibrations of my phone were... something I was not looking forward to, especially when, as if on cue, of all people, his name popped up.

Edward: Hey Rena.

The fact he was unaware of what was happening in the background made my heart ache even more. I slowly sank into my mattress, having the need to read his text over and over again, as though it was going to solve problems. With my shivering hands, I unlocked my phone and hesitantly typed in.

And the fleeting thought that I should not even be replying to him passed me, but there was no way I would be ignoring him.

Rena: Hi Ed :) Are you done with work?

Edward: Yes.

Edward: The machine passed all quality checks and has been handed to the client. My company said they'll be using it tomorrow to build their hotel.

Rena: That's great! Now you don't have to worry about it again

Edward: I hope it's managed properly. It will be extremely dangerous if it breaks down or if they mishandle it. It can be fatal.

I grimaced at such a notion.

Rena: Well if it passed all the quality controls then it would be good

Edward: I guess so.

Edward: Anyway, thank you for your company today. I hope you don't mind me venting out.

Rena: Anytime! :) and no I don't mind lol

Those comments always lifted up my spirits and had me squealing mentally, but at this moment, it barely cheered me up in the slightest. The waves of guilt that were pressuring me had taken over most of my mind, I didn't even have leftover space to store my optimistic thoughts.

And the next thing I knew, Aly's encouragement was all for nothing; a futile attempt.

How naive of you, Rena.

So naive, it sickens me.

***

Friday.

Not even the breakfast and the morning breeze soothed me from last night.

The pedals of my bicycle felt heavier than usual during the whole trip to school, perhaps because I was not spending most of my energy on them. Sure, Jordan never brought it up again, and I couldn't take my words back. What was in the past stayed in the past, but still... no matter what I tried to convince myself into, I wished I could correct everything.

Arriving at school, Edward was already there and his monotone expression gained a little of animation as he noticed me, and as much as I wanted to avoid staring for too long, I weakly waved my hand at him. I went through the gate as he followed me behind, coming up to the parking lot to lock my bike.

I hauled my backpack up, but thanks to my PE clothes and a bunch of textbooks I have brought back, I nearly swayed on my footing.

"You need help?" Edward offered.

"I-It's okay! I'm fine with this. T-thanks though!" I was stuttering so badly, as if I was back to square one. However, every time I glanced at him—especially to his long bangs—guilt speedily consumed me like fire while the plan of abstaining from conversing with him... gradually sounded like a good idea.

No, no, what the hell was that decision? I should not be ignoring him just because of my mistake. I was not going to make all my efforts go straight to the garbage—not to mention, he would grow more suspicious of me, and that was the last thing I wanted to see.

"How's your knees and elbow?" I questioned as we matched each other's pace.

"They're getting better, I think," he said. "I just treated them yesterday and my mom helped me too."

"Ah, good then," I whispered, but from the corner of my vision, Edward cocked his head, perhaps detecting something was amiss? I pretended not to notice as we both entered the school with my thoughts in a completely different place.

Perhaps I could just live it for today...

As usual, I met up with the girls and Mark, where both Aly and Edward gave each other nods of acknowledgement. The rest... well, they were giggling their butts off and embracing each other, pointing particularly at me and him.

"God, look at you two!" Naomi silently—thank God for that—teased as she bumped into me. "You're so close now, the boat has turned into a yacht!"

"The next time we meet, the yacht has turned into a cruise!" Sam added. "So proud of my tomato!"

The girls abruptly drew closer to Aly as though they were about to embrace her—big mistake, she sidestepped them and predictably smacked Naomi on her head.

"Seriously, why is it just me that you choose to hit?!" she whined.

Aly dismissed her complaints before she patted my back and grinned. "They're right, though. Just remember what I said yesterday, alright? When life gives you lemons, you add sugar on it!"

"Ew, don't do that shit," Naomi chimed in. "Also, isn't the phrase make lemonade out of it?" As a reward for her unsolicited comment, she earned another smack in her back.

I chuckled underneath my breath and shook my head at her childish actions, while Edward merely observed the girls, but he never opened his mouth to say anything.

While the air around me felt so stiff for some reason as we parted ways—Naomi, Edward and I went to our usual gym class—there was not much I could do, but to leave it to my brother. It was not like I spread the rumor to everyone else; it was just my family. Besides, it seemed like he did not put too much thought into it or even cared enough, so... perhaps it was going to be alright.

Well, for now, at least I would be performing some vigorous exercises that I can keep myself busy with. It helped me push all of the intrusive thoughts to the back of my consciousness.

After we changed into our gym clothes, I found myself wandering alongside Edward as we headed for the fields. The others were already there with their respective activities, waiting for Mr. Thomas to emerge. Naomi chose to leave me with him, because of course she did.

"I-I think PE's gonna be about basketball, so you gotta be extra careful with those injuries." I could not help but to study the bandages swathed around the wounds he sustained.

"Don't worry about it. It's not like I'm gonna play anyway," he mumbled rather harshly, tying up his shoelaces before he tapped his heels on the ground, adjusting his shoes. "I'm gonna go for a quick jog. You wanna come?"

"Ah, I-I think I'm good!" I denied, instinctively raising both of my hands. I mean, I would love to run with him but my laziness was quite stronger than ever.

"Okay, just wait for me here."

And so, off he went to the tracks while his withdrawing figure effortlessly slithered through his moving classmates—those basketball skills still stuck with him. Despite this, I could literally taste his bitterness from all the fiasco that transpired yesterday, but even if he was not in the team anymore, that did not mean he should entirely give up on his childhood sport.

Seb and Lynn finally made their appearances, with both of them catching up with me. They briefly greeted me with huge waves and smiles, before they carried on with whatever conversations they had.

"Are you like, so sure you two are quitting? In the middle of the tournaments and all?" And just like that, they quickly piqued my interest.

Seb incredulously stared at her—it seemed he had been asked this several times. "Yeah, and a solid decision we made. Who the hell wants to work with douchebags?" He grumbled. "I'm kinda relieved Ed isn't beating up Alfred again, it would be such a hassle. Can't say I blame him, listening to his constant yapping isn't my speciality either."

"Sure, yesterday was uncalled for, but the freshmen were so devastated, you know." Lynn groaned. "They loved you guys."

"One or two redeeming things about the team will neither make me nor Ed change our decision," Seb reaffirmed and placed his hands behind his head.

She sighed heavily. "Your team is always borderline chaotic."

Borderline chaotic was such an euphemism. It was beyond fucked, to say the least.

While the chilly wind caressed my face with such care, it also helped trees—I saw some guys cheering some random dude climbing through the bark—shed their brown and yellow leaves. I watched as they were helplessly tossed across the field, being trampled over by the others. It was start of October anyway... signaling the arrival of autumn in its full form.

Meanwhile, Seb chose to accompany me while Lynn wanted to check out her other friends. Although he had his group of friends roaming around him, he chose to stick with me.

"Lynn's birthday is coming close," Seb prompted as he stared upon the deep blue horizon. He then stretched his arms, before he looked at me. "Are you guys gonna buy her a present?"

"When was it again?"

"21 October."

"That's kind of close." Come to think of it, Ed does ask me for suggestions. I wonder if he has bought something for her.

"Ed's getting her a hoodie, I've seen him checking them out online," said Seb, as though he saw through me. "But as you know, his taste in clothes is... terrible. I gave him some advice, but he would just give me a stink eye. Man..."

Of course he will.

Seb's chain of criticisms against Edward's fashion taste dated back to many years ago; definitely one thing that would never change. I could just imagine little Seb placing his arms on his hips, his narrowed eyes somber as he jabbed Edward solely by the power of his words.

"The colors are way too flashy, and the graphic looks like it's drawn by a five year old. Why do you pick such a horrendous hoodie?"

"Hey look, the graphics are what makes it perfect, okay?" Edward reasoned, his lips projecting forward. "Now put your judgment aside and deal with it!"

"I still don't know what to buy her, though," said Seb. "She had lots of clothes already."

"Maybe a cute tote bag?" I suggested. "Lynn's the type to like something simplistic, so perhaps a simple bracelet or necklace can do too."

"Wanna go check the mall on Sunday?" He proposed. "So many shops to look for."

My brows shot up at the unexpected invitation. Peering back at him, no reluctance was infused in his wide smile and mellow brown eyes; he patiently waited for my answer. Since the accident that day, my social life was severely limited to the girls and Mark; people outside of that comfort zone—including their other friends—were out of my radar.

And as for Seb himself, there was barely any chance to hang out with him unless situations called for it, like when we were partners for a science presentation and summer camp back then. He was anything but a chatter; he would busy himself sketching intricate drawings of clothes, but he was another boy who was never bothered by my crazy amount of stuttering.

Aside from his eternal feud with Aly—she would probably freak out—this was my chance to extend my circle for once, taking back those lost chances.

"Sure!" I nodded, and immediately he brightened up, tearing into a grin.

"We'll discuss the details later," Seb chirped, right before Mr. Thomas blew his whistle, and all the people dispersed across the field scampered back, including Edward and Lynn.

As Mr. Thomas was briefing our tasks, there was something that had me all taut. Edward had been stealing glances at me, as though he had something to talk about.

Was he planning something?