Chapter 109

ASHER

^THREE MONTHS LATER^

For nearly three months, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery, guided by my parents. It’s been a revelation to realize that I’m not so different from my brother. Our symptoms manifest differently, but the underlying issues are the same.

He struggles with social interactions, while I grapple with articulating thoughts and plans, and I’m easily overwhelmed. I’ve always thrived in chaos, and it took a therapist to help me understand why. The drugs I was taking—they quieted my mind.

After a thorough assessment, the diagnosis was clear: autism. It was a shock, to say the least. I had a hard time accepting it, but every session with the therapist only confirmed it.

My father, Zach, shared that he too was diagnosed later in life, after Atty and I were born. He struggled with acceptance as well, but unlike me, he chose not to take medication. To each their own, I suppose.

Atty has been a rock, guiding me through the diagnosis and sharing more of himself than ever before. We discovered that our brains work similarly—always busy, easily overstimulated by sounds, smells, tastes, and temperatures.

He’s learned coping mechanisms, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t experience burnout, which is what the therapist diagnosed me with. The hardest part of this journey is learning to be myself without the drugs. I’ve never really known who I am, and neither has anyone else.

But now, I have the chance to discover myself. It’s a strange realization. But enough about my diagnosis.

Today is a big day. Maddison is finally leaving rehab after a grueling three months. She’s grown so much during her time there.

She’s gained confidence and even completed an online course to become a receptionist at the hotel. My fathers have been incredibly supportive, both of her and of me. They’ve helped me overcome my addiction, even when they didn’t have to.

Especially Callum. We’ve bonded over our shared desire to help those who can’t help themselves. We’ve agreed to work together so that I can eventually take over Sense and continue my mother’s mission to prevent trafficking.

It feels good to have a purpose, a goal to work toward. Zach was disappointed that I didn’t want to take over the hotel, but Tal has decided to join Atty there. She’s grown up a lot this summer, and she’s ready to take on more responsibility.

Zach is content to stay in his role for now, but Tyler has decided to pass his role to Atty. Atty is now our father’s partner, which has been good for Mama. He’s been able to spend more time at home, reducing her stress and strengthening their bond.

As I wait for Maddy to come out, my mind drifts back to the day the parents of the trafficked girls came to collect their children. The memory is etched in my mind. The mix of joy and sorrow as the girls ran into their parents’ arms was overwhelming.

I remember standing with my mother, watching from Sense.

“Good job, sweetheart.” She’d praised me. Her voice was filled with a pride that outshone any of my previous achievements.

I push back the memory of that day and the ones that followed, when parents swarmed our home to pick up their kids. I’m currently in a shared space where patients engage in different activities, waiting for Maddy and Carmen to appear.

Carmen had a chat with me earlier today. She discussed my future plans and my relationship with Maddy, and she touched on how I was managing now that I was nearly four months sober.

She updated me on Maddy’s progress, saying she’s doing really well. But she also expressed her concern about whether I could handle Maddy’s mood swings and if Maddy would have the empathy to support me if I relapsed, which she seemed to think was inevitable.

I reassured her that I could handle it, that I’ve grown a lot since I arrived here, and that Maddy wouldn’t need to support me because my mom would be there for that. But I could tell she was skeptical.

It seems Maddy is dealing with the aftermath of her past, much like my mom, and I can understand why Carmen would worry about us being together when I’m not exactly stable myself. But I’m determined to prove everyone wrong, and so is Maddy.

She’s agreed to move in with me in my apartment after we’ve been separated for months due to our individual growth. This is great for work, as she’ll only need to go downstairs.

I just have to wait ten more minutes. Then she emerges with that radiant smile, the one she had in the photo in the folder. Her long hair cascades down her back, and she’s wearing jean shorts and a loose band tee.

She’s as stunning as she’s been during our weekly visits for the past two and a half months.

“Hey, beautiful,” I greet her, standing up to approach her and Carmen.

I pull her into a hug, just like I’ve done every week, and she comes willingly. Her hands wrap around my waist, holding me tightly, just as I’ve come to expect.

“Ready to come home?” I ask, inhaling the scent of her hair.

“Yes, very much so…” she replies when we break apart. A secretive smile spreads across her face, her happiness barely contained.

“It’s good to see you so excited. Now, remember, I’ll be visiting twice a week for the first six weeks. Then we’ll see how things go from there.” Carmen hands over a file full of paperwork and a clear bag filled with boxes of medication.

I try not to focus on the assortment of pills, instead looking at the file that likely contains discharge paperwork and other helpful notes.

“Thank you so much. Thank you for not giving up on me,” Maddy tells her, hugging her, though not as enthusiastically as she’d hugged me.

“Remember, child, your past does not define you. It was a life lesson, not a sentence,” Carmen advises.

“Lesson, not sentence,” Maddy echoes, as if it’s her new mantra.