Chapter 12

GABRIEL

He woke up with Seth’s words echoing through his mind. He was stretched out in the tent he had set up for the boys in the backyard, the full moon shining through the canvas, outlining the images of the boys cuddled into their sleeping bags. An owl hooted in the maple tree that grew in the yard. He remembered climbing that tree at eleven and finding the hollow where that owl lived. When he found eggs in the nest one day, he spent every afternoon in the tree to see when they would hatch. Granddad had surprised him by nailing a step ladder to the tree. He made a mental note to check the steps and have the boys check the nest in the morning.

With a sigh, Gabe rolled to his feet and exited the tent, pacing around the yard and ended up staring at the maple tree, and smiled when two large yellow eyes peered at him through the leaves. It was like meeting an old friend.

Sinking into one of the chairs at the firepit, he wondered what it would feel like to have Sarah sitting next to him and watching the stars stud the midnight sky. The neighborhood was hushed, the only sounds being the tiny critters that are active at night, and the occasional car passing in the streets close by. He missed her. He missed her dry humor, witty insights, and contemplative thoughts, even the way she slipped into Italian when she was annoyed. He missed the way her green eyes would light up when she saw something that interested her. He even missed the way her full lips tempted him to kiss her deeply. That temptation had been pulling him more and more the last few times they were together.

Gabe picked up a can of soda from the cooler and quietly pulled the tab. The air still smelled of the hotdogs and hamburgers that they had for supper, splotches of ketchup and mustard splattered around the yard, evidence of their food fight. Gabe bit back a groan at the knowledge that they still had a massive cleanup to do.

He poked a stick into the embers of the coals and sighed with satisfaction when a small flame reignited.

“Gabe?” Ryder poked his head out of the tent, and Gabe smiled at him. The twins were identical, but it was a surprise to everyone when Gabe could tell them apart—every time.

“Come join me,” he invited the boy softly. He holds out a stick to Ryder who sat beside him. Gabe put a marshmallow at the end of each of their sticks and they sat in silence while the sweet roasted. He guided Ryder to add the cracker and chocolate and smiled as the boy tucked into his midnight treat with gusto.

“Gabe…?” He raised his eyebrow at the boy as Ryder dragged out his name. “Can Elli join us tomorrow night?”

The breath whooshed from Gabe’s lungs as he absorbed the innocent question. How did he answer that without overwhelming the child? Then he frowned as he considered the question. “Why?” he asked, playing for time.

Ryder shrugged. “I love my brothers, but I always wanted a sister. And Amelia is so cool and feels like a little sister. I would like her to be a part of all our stuff.”

Gabe blinked at Ryder in surprise. It wasn’t every day you had a ten-year-old saying he enjoyed the company of a five-year-old girl and wanted to include her in their activities. “What about your brothers?” Gabe asked. “What do they say? Do they feel the same?”

Ryder nodded. “We were talking about while you fetched the hotdogs. Mostly about missing her here. It’s like she was missing…which she is…”

The tiny shrug he gave tugged at Gabe’s heartstrings. He pushed a hand through his hair and released a heavy breath. “How about I give her mom a call to ask if she can join us tomorrow night?”

“Yeah!” Ryder yelped before clapping a hand on his mouth.

“No promises, toad.” Gabe had a nickname for each of the boys which they thought were hilarious.

“At least you’ll try. Thanks, Gabe.”

A half hour later, Gabe carried a sleeping Ryder to his sleeping bag before returning to his seat next to the fire pit, a cup of coffee brewing on the glowing embers, his feet settled on the cooler edge of the brick pit as he slouched against the back of the chair and stared up as the sky changed with the different shades of the night. The morning broke softly over the house, and he took a deep breath before fishing his phone out of his pocket.

Did he text her? Did he call? Would she agree? Would she even answer? What did he say after all the weeks that he had been quiet?

He tapped his phone against his chin as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

~“Always remember, Gabriel, life is not to be hidden from.”~ Gabe thought back to a conversation his granddad had with him on one of their fishing escapades. ~“Whether it’s the good or the bad side of life, whether it’s to celebrate something, or to apologize about something, face it with shoulders straight and chin up, mein Kind.”~

“Damn you, Granddad,” Gabe ground out between clenched teeth. He pushed to his feet, arched his back, and stretched his arms above his head to loosen the kinks in his body. Stepping into the kitchen, Gabe quickly scrawled a note, went back out to the tent, and carefully placed the note on the zipper before returning to the house for a fortifying shower.

***

An hour later, Gabe is standing outside of Sarah’s apartment, pacing back and forth while he mentally tossed aside speech after speech, all of them sounding trite and superficial. None of them the truth. He pushed a hand through his hair…again… His reasons for taking a step away from Sarah were valid, but when he rehearsed them, they sounded like excuses for him being an asshole. He turned to the railing of the small balcony that led to Sarah and Seth’s apartment, looking at the view of the woodland park across the road.

“Gabe?”

He spun around at the shock in Seth’s voice. He had been so preoccupied that he hadn’t heard the door open. Seth’s green eyes were dark in confusion as he stared at Gabe. He looked over his shoulder before pulling the door closed as he stepped onto the balcony. “You okay?”

Gabe nodded, blew out a deep breath, and then shook his head. He settled himself onto the balcony wall, hooking his heels into the slits for a comfortable perch. “I’m messed up, Seth. I’m not worthy of them. And that is the main reason I stay away. I don’t want to hurt them. And especially not after that bomb you dropped about her ex.”

Seth leaned against the wall beside Gabe, crossing his arms across his chest as he mulled over what was just said. “So what are you doing here, Gabe?”

“Honestly?” Gabe shook his head, his confusion apparent on his face. “I’m not sure. I just know I miss them. And…”

Seth raised a dark brow. “And?”

Gabe sighed loudly, pushing his hand through his dark hair again. “Ryder mentioned something last night. I’m not sure where or how it fits in.”

“Okay,” Seth drawled. “I didn’t realize that I’d have to drag the story out of you, Jiminy.”

Gabe shot a glance at his friend, irritated because most of the frustration was directed at himself. He straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin before facing his friend head-on. “Ryder asked if Amelia could join us in our backyard campout.”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“The boys see her as a little sister and miss her. We’re just basically playing games in the yard—paintball feuds, obstacle races, some outdoor survival shit—nothing over the top.”

Seth chewed on his lip as he looked at Gabe. “It sounds like she would enjoy it. But ~you~ will need to speak to her mom.”

“Yeah. I figured as much.”

“Good luck.” Seth laughed as he slapped Gabe on his shoulder before opening the door and calling. “Sarah! Someone for you.”

“Fuck you, Sethford Marshall!” Gabe called after his friend, getting to his feet and turning to look out at the view while shaking his head.