Chapter 16
Murder Notes (Lilah Love Book 1)
If you want to get answers from a man like Kane Mendez, a smart girl takes him somewhere she knows she wonât end up naked and silly-stupid. Somewhere that still tells him weâre connected. Heâs protected. For me, that place is the Cove.
On the surface, a good twenty minutes from town, the Cove seems to be a hidden treasure few on Long Island know about and one of the most beautiful places Iâve ever seen. The water is bluer than blue, and the waves break to salty-white perfection, like angel wings floating in the sea. And in the early morning, no less than a dozen seagulls dance above those angel wings, fishing for their breakfast. Itâs a peaceful seclusion, an escape Iâve often welcomed. It seems to be romantic, even. A perfect place for lovers. Itâs a big-ass façade, and perhaps thatâs why I love it so much. Itâs not what it seems any more than I am what I seem to be.
Beneath the surface, though, and after dark like now, the Cove is a different place. Even on a night like tonight when the stars are bright and the full moon brighter, the mile-long dirt road leading to the water is shrouded in shadows. The steep drops on either side are riddled with rocks and who knows what kind of animals. When the stars and moon are hiding, itâs hauntingly desolate, and as pitch black as you might imagine hell to be if it werenât for the fire. Those are the nights I once craved here. The ones that made me face my fears. The ones that assured me that no one sane would dare come here. So if Iâd run into anyone, they were probably someone Iâd count on shooting. Coming here alone had become a kind of a rush.
No. An addiction. Perhaps a sick one, but no one, not even Kane, thinks to judge me. Itâs not a place for lovers. I mean, if you were with a man, screwing your brains out, youâd want your gun in your hand. And a back seat where you could actually lie down and not roll down a rocky cliff.
I donât do back seats. Neither does Kane.
I watch my rearview mirror for signs of his approach, hating the way my damn heart is racing. Telling myself itâs about what Kane may tell me tonight, not about the man himself. If Iâm honest with myself, though, thatâs not the real reason. Of course, I like to think that Iâm honest with myself, not just aboutâor withâeveryone else. Iâm pretty simple. Iâm fucked up and resolved to stay that way. It works for me. It works for my job. Keeping with that fucked-up theme, my heart isnât racing because of what Kane might tell me. Itâs because itâs him Iâm meeting. Heâs trouble for me and as every criminal Iâve ever arrested knows, the problem with trouble is that it can be so damn seductive.
I clear the bank of shadows and refocus on the here and now. The beachfront, an inky silhouette of rocks and boulders, comes into view, with Kaneâs car already parked in the small gravelly circle where my path ends. The racing of my heart accelerates, but I donât question my decision to ask Kane to come here just because Iâm affected by him. Half-assing my way through things and avoiding the man who knows this land like no other isnât going to solve these murders. Nor is it going to stop an innocent man, which I suspect Woods to be, from taking a fall. Or ending up dead. Iâm going to solve these murders and save Woods. And my family. I think I might have to save my family, and thatâs worth at least a small deal with the devil himself, aka Kane.
I near his car, and while his windows are tinted, there are no lights, no hint of movement. Wherever he is, heâs not in the car, but wherever he is, he knows Iâm here. Thereâs simply no way for anyone to arrive here without being seen. Itâs a perfect hideaway. Even the cell service out here is hit-or-miss, adding to how perfect the location is for a private conversation. Or illicit activity. Or murder. Itâs a good place for murder. The kind thatâs never supposed to be discovered. Of course, the killer Iâm hunting, be that person a serial killer or an assassin, wants his victims to be found. But he, or she, leaves a clean crime scene that speaks of an intent to remain anonymous. This killer would not confess. If things heated up, he or she would disappear the way a body would disappear down into the water in this very cove. If, of course, the body was properly prepared. And, there you goâthe reason I have no friends. These are the kind of thoughts that do not make good supper talk, and so I simply have nothing else to talk about.
Killing my engine, I scan for Kane, finding him exactly where I suspected he would be. At our spot, standing a good twenty feet away, on top of one of two connected giant boulders weâve often favored. Heâs facing the water, towering above a steep incline, his back to me, his long black trench coat lifting in the wind. Looking like some sort of dark fucking knight. ~Dark is right,~ I think. ~Dark and dangerous.~
~Iâm not my father.~ How many times has he said those words to me? And heâs right every time. Heâs not like his father. Heâs smarter, more refined. More diverse. Heâs not his father. Heâs something I cannot define, but I do believe that itâs far more lethal than Kane wants me to believe it is. He is. Or maybe itâs me that still doesnât want to believe it.
Popping my door open, I grab my coat, then stand to shrug into it. The wind catches my hair, its icy fingers wrapping my neck. A warning of what is to come, perhaps? Maybe, but Iâm pretty sure the only chill Kane is capable of giving me comes by way of news I might not like. But I donât allow myself to think about how intense every moment is with Kane or how easily that could turn against me. It wonât. I am taking control. Resolved to make it so, I slam the door and start walking, the dirt silent beneath my feet. The heavy weight of my gun at my ankle, reminding me I have a friend ready to assist with a problem. Not that I believe I need that friend. Kane might be trouble for me, but not that kind of trouble.
He doesnât turn to watch my approach, though without question, he knows Iâm here. Iâm also certain that heâs aware the instant I reach the eight feet of jagged rocks I have to maneuver across to reach him. It would be a good moment to turn back, but I donât even consider a pause. Iâm here. Iâm doing this. Iâm ready. And this is the place where we said things to each other that we said no other place. No matter how dirty, dark, or downright murderous it might be.
Reaching the makeshift stone stairs lining the boulders, I start the climb upward, and smart man that Kane is, he doesnât turn and offer help. The man does get me. He knows it would piss me off. I help me, and anyone who gets in the way gets a big olâ punch to the chops. Or the balls, depending on the circumstances. I reach the top of the boulders, and my spot on the second of the two, next to Kane, leaves a good several feet between us by design. I donât face him, nor he me. I stare out at the inky black of the water stretching before us, the waves crashing fiercely, almost angrily, into the rocks below, the cold, salty air brushing my lips.
âWhatâs said in the Cove,â he says.
âStays in the Cove,â I finish, and we turn to face each other, moonlight illuminating more than his face and eyes. In one blink to the next, every kiss, touch, and word weâve ever spoken, good or bad, is in the spotlight. Including that night. Our secret. âWe confessed our sins here.â
âIs that why weâre here? To confess our sins?â
âWeâre here because this place reminds us both that we share a secret that could destroy us both, and my family with us.â
âForced loyalty is not what I want from you. Not in the past. Not now.â
âYou didnât force loyalty on me, Kane. You trusted me. It was my choice to deserve that trust. And that happened long before that night. This place is where you told meââ
âWhat a bastard my father was,â he supplies quickly, as if heâs traveled to the same memory at the same time.
âYes.â
âAnd the things heâd done,â he adds.
âYes,â I agree. âAnd all the things you said youâd never do.â I tell myself not to ask, but the way this man haunts me, the way we really are connected, I go off course and I dare to do just that. âHave you?â I ask. âDone them?â
âIâm no saint, but Iâm still not my father.â
âYou need a new reply to that question. Itâs getting used and abused and youâre more interesting than that. Basically, youâve done some of those things.â
âI only do what Iâm forced to do and only what is absolutely necessary.â
âDo you think he started out saying that?â
âNo,â he says instantly. âHe embraced it from day one. He enjoyed it. I do not.â
âBut you still do it.â
âLilahââ
âDonât.â I hold up a hand. âIâm not with you anymore. Itâs not my place to question why you are, or are not, involved in that part of your fatherâs world. And I didnât even mean to go there.â
âAnd where did you want to go?â
âYour father. The whole point was your father.â
âMy dead father is why we met here tonight?â
âYes, because he influences who you are now.â
âI told youââ
âYouâre not him. Yeah. I know. You keep telling me. Bottom line. He had rules and I know that whatever your role in your new empire or his old one, you respect those rules. Your home is a sanctuary and that means this town. You didnât kill that woman last night or order her death. Who did?â
âApparently Kevin Woods. Or so weâre being pushed to believe.â
âHow do you know about Woods?â He arches a brow and I skip the question. âRight,â I say. âYour territory. What do you know about him?â
âThereâs very little about Woods that would interest me or anyone else. No living family. No one to fight for him. No one to care if heâs dead or on death row.â
âA perfect fall guy,â I supply. âWhich brings me back to where my mind was when I called you. We are connected. What is the likelihoodââ
âThat my employee being murdered the night you came into town is a coincidence? Next to none.â
âIt was a cover-up. Something someone thought Iâd discover when I came here.â My mind goes to the tattoo, to him shutting me down over it, and that night. âWhatâs really going on here, Kane?â
âI donât know. But I assure you, I will and soon.â
I stare at him, thinking about how angry he was at me in his office. Thinking about Junior and who might want me out of town. Iâve ruled him out as a suspect for Junior, based on the note-writing scenario simply not fitting what I know of him, but should I have? âI assume that murder happened when it did to keep me from stopping it and to keep her from revealing something someone didnât want revealed.â
âThat is my assumption as well.â
âOr,â I continue, âit was a threat. Was someone telling you Iâm next, Kane?â
âNo one would be that foolish, Lilah.â
âIâm the one hand youâve shown. You have to consider that.â And not for the first time I wonder if that night was all about him. About me being used against him. âYou made it known you care about me.â
âNo one would be that foolish,â he repeats.
âAgain, Kane,â I say, because I have to keep trying. âWhat is really going on?â
âAgain,â he repeats. âI donât know yet.â
âHave there been other people close to you or any of your operations that have died?â
âI know about the other murders. They have no connection to me. You can look. You wonât find any.â
But they do, I think, just like they do to me. That tattoo, but I donât say that. Not after he erupted on me in his office over its mention. Heâs hiding something he doesnât want me to find, and Iâm not giving him a chance to bury it. âI wonât ask how you know about the murders. They were assassinations, werenât they?â
âYes.â
âIf someone powerful like you wanted to hire an assassin, who would they go to?â
âI donât hire people outside my circle.â
âWho would someone else go to?â
âSomeone like my father.â
âBut not you.â
âI donât do other peopleâs dirty work, but he did.â
âAnd who would he have used?â
âHis own men.â
âDamn it, Kane. Stop making me chase this. If he were to go outside his circle?â
âThere are dozens of people who would carry out an assassination for the right money.â
âBut how many are good enough that heâd have hired them?â That youâd hire them, I add silently, knowing heâs still in that world.
âVery few.â
âHow many of those âvery fewâ kill the way your employee was killed last night?â I say, assuming at this point he knows that detail as well.
âThere are numerous for-hire killers that take requests. Only one that puts a bullet between the eyes as a trademark kill.â
âI need the name of that assassin. The one with the trademark kill.â
âAll youâll do is drive him underground, and you donât call this man or find him. He finds you after you go through the appropriate channels.â
âI need a name.â
~âYou will drive him underground,â~ he bites out. âYou will let me handle this, and I swear to God, Lilah, if you start digging on this, I will tie you to my bed where I want you and keep you there until this is over.â
âLet me be clear with you, Kane Mendez. This might be the Cove and we might share a past and a secret, but I am still an FBI agent with a badge. And a gun that I will use before you ever get me to that bed. And in case you think, âShe fucked me ten million times; she wonât kill me,â youâre rightâI wonât. But I damn sure will make you bleed. This is my case to solve. You will not enact your own vengeance. And you will get me the name of this assassin in the next twenty-four hours or something I can use that is equal to that name.â
âOr else what?â
âThe next time I ask wonât be in the Cove. People are dead, Kane. More might die. I will take you in for formal questioning. And we both know that will start the tongues wagging about you and your father all over again.â
He inhales and lets it out, his energy sharp-edged and lethal. âI donât like being held captive, Agent Love.â
âNeither do I,â I say.
Our eyes lock, a war of wills raging between us before he finally says, âIâll need forty-eight hours.â
âFine. Forty-eight. Not forty-nine.â
âUnderstood, Agent Love.â
He reaches into his pocket and holds up a flash drive. âI expedited the security footage you wanted from my home and office.â
I take a step toward him, and he to me, the boulders connecting in the middle, and I make a quick swipe for the drive, only to have him close his hand around mine. âNo one dresses in a hoodie and unisex clothes to put a note on a car window, and then disappears in the woods, who isnât up to no good. Who put the note on your car today at my office?â
âWho blew you last night?â
âWho put the note on your car?â
âIâm about ten seconds from sticking my knee in your groin. I suggest you let me go.â
He inhales again and then releases me. âWhat did the note say?â
âIt said, ~Kaneâs an asshole~.â I head for the steps and call out, âTwenty-four hours.â
âForty-nine,â he calls back.
âTwenty-three it is,â I say, and jump to the ground, hurrying away, and I donât stop until Iâm in the car again. I crank the engine and glance forward to find Kane is still standing on that boulder, but this time heâs looking at me, watching me. Heâs definitely not Juniorânot that I thought he was in the first place. But he is definitely hiding something from me, and Iâm not leaving until I find out what.