Chapter 60: Breathe Again | As Long As You Love Me

Ares

The worst day of my life.

I could never speak for how the people who lost their mates on the day of the drone strike felt. I was aware that was going to happen, sure. But I was unmated and unhappy, so it's not like I could relate to them.

Now I can honestly say they had it better.

I don't mean to take light of what they suffered, that's not what this is about.

I don't want to diminish the incredible amount of pain they survived, nor do I think they deserved it. Well, maybe Aaron did. But even so his mate didn't deserve to die, that's the truth.

The point I'm trying to make is at least they didn't know they were going to lose their loved ones. They got to enjoy their last day on Earth obliviously.

After Landon told me that my mate's trial was set for Saturday and he probably only had one more day to live, it was like the world was ending for me.

There's no pain like knowing you're losing a loved one and not being able to keep it from happening. And I'm not talking about an incurable sickness here. My mate was on trial for his life, being accused of a crime he didn't commit.

Even though we might not have known if he was innocent or not - he was always innocent to me, if that counts for anything - that is still his life on the line.

I was wrecked, destroyed, flabbergasted.

If my father wasn't present, I don't know what would have happened to me. In a true 'Romeo and Juliet' fashion, I could've ended things way before they began.

I was in a horrible place. But my father picked up the pieces and lifted me up like he has been doing since my mate was arrested. He made sure I was fed and taken care of. He watched me like a hawk, not wanting me to leave his side. Until my mom arrived from work, then it was her time to mother me.

I know it doesn't sound like I'm talking about the same guy who gives me crap on a daily basis at work. Who embarrassed me more times than I could count. But for all his faults, no one could accuse Kurt Saunders of being a bad father.

He might be borderline abusive with my workout regiment sometimes, but he was never a bad parent.

Remember when he said:

'Who would reject my boy? He is perfect.'

It's like that.

Naturally, when Saturday came I had no choice but to come along to the Blood Moon pack. I wasn't about to skip my mate's trial and miss out on seeing him possibly for the last time ever. Though I was trembling with nervousness and anxiety.

But once again my father held me in place and never left my side, literally.

When Alpha Staedler sentenced my mate to death, I thought I was gonna die right then and there with him. Unimaginable pain washed over me like I never felt before. My life was over and I'm only 22 years old.

I wanted to fight the Alpha in Spencer's stead, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Not that I mean to say I can win against an Alpha. I'm not that arrogant, but at least I'd have a chance.

Tears flowed through me as my mate said goodbye to me. My body shook with an immobilizing fear for his life. I needed him to survive this, even if he was guilty. Again, not that I ever thought he was. Let's make things clear.

Once he was declared innocent, I leapt into the stage and held him like my life depended on it. Because to me, it did. Spencer is my life now and there's no point in me living without him in this world. It is what it is.

After that, I never left his side.

We went to his parents for lunch, talked and had a nice time alongside Harry and Landon. My father got a consultation from Spencer's dad - even though he's healthy as a bull. It was a great afternoon.

Then we finally returned to Regency Falls. He wanted to return with Harry and Landon, but I convinced him there was room in the bus with me and he'd be more protected this way.

I walked him inside the pack house where Luna Felicia welcomed him back with open arms. By that time, everyone had heard about what happened at his trial.

We entered his room, just as he left it on Wednesday, feeling happy and most of all relieved.

"I know how much you were scared today. But you don't need to look at me like I'm a porcelain doll. I could feel your anxiety all through the day." - Spencer told me once we were both lying on the bed.

I breathed out a sigh. He's right, of course. I can't hide my feelings from him. That's not how the mate bond works.

They say the secret to any good relationship is communication. That's where most human relationships fail, but marked werewolves don't get to make this mistake because your mate can sense literally everything you do. From when you're horny to pissed off, distraught or nervous. Furious or happy. There's nowhere to hide.

"Yeah, sorry about that. But words cannot express the terror I felt earlier today." - I said, feeling apprehensive.

"Trust me, I felt it. Mine and yours at the same time. I'm not without empathy. I'm just saying, soon enough you're gonna have to let me go when I come back to Houston." - He said, cautiously.

"I know, mate. But right now I can't let you out of my sight." - I said, refraining from telling him my plans. The timing is off for this conversation. I don't want to spook him.

"Hey, I'm not complaining..." - He snickered. - "But I don't want you to feel guilty or that I'm going to abandon you if you blink. You can breathe again. Both of us can." - He said, smiling at me.

When he smiles, I swoon. Can't help it.

"I'm so smitten by you!" - I melted, kissing him for the next several minutes.

"Hey, I'm in awe of you!" - He grinned, looking enchanted by me.

We embrace in the comfort of our strong bond, holding each other close in appreciation of our togetherness.

It's great to feel his sweet scent next to me.

I know we dodged the proverbial bullet today. I feared for his life and subsequently mine. Alpha Staedler's words are still haunting me.

I know he's safe now, but my wolf is in possessive mode. Truth is he's right.

I haven't been able to breathe since he was incarcerated. Only now that I can finally breathe again.

It's Saturday evening in Regency Falls.

With everything that happened these last few days, Spencer and I ended up sleeping in each other's arms and by the time we woke up, we had missed dinner time at the pack house.

I took the opportunity to invite him back to my place. I was yet to take a shower or change clothes and I knew there would definitely be food there.

We went in his car and when we got there, my parents were leaving the place. They had previous plans with another couple friend of theirs, so they apologized to Spencer for not being able to host him properly.

My mate politely told them it wasn't a big deal and that there would be other opportunities. But my mother made a point to hug him and say she was relieved his innocence was proved.

Tell me about it, mom!

I scavenged the kitchen for food and easily found some leftovers to reheat. We ate hungrily and rested afterwards in the living room.

"I'm so glad you're here." - I said, feeling content.

"I'm happy to be here too. I already had bad memories of the pack house because of Kevin, now I don't think I'll ever sleep there ever again." - He said, laughing nervously.

"No complaints from me. You can always sleep by my side. I would rent us a house, but you have years before you graduate and can come back." - I said, eyes glistening with pride and longing.

"I hope you don't get frustrated with the long period of time you'll have to wait for me." - He said, frowning a bit in worry.

"Spencer, as long you come back to me, I'll never complain." - I surrendered, romantically. We kissed for a moment then turned on the TV for a while.

Words cannot describe how relieved I am to have him by my side, free from harm. I know it has been only a few days that we stayed away from each other, but I missed him dearly.

When I was mated to him, I contemplated leaving my current career choice and moving away with him to Houston. Like I said before, I'm not so attached to my job as I was before.

It's not like I lost the taste for being a warrior, I'm very good at it. At this point in my life, I'm comfortable with training and I got into a nice groove with my team members and leader.

I can't say whether my overbearing dad played a part in my decision or not. I mean, I'm used to him being ruthless to me on the job. But he is the same way with everyone, so it's not like I'm special.

But it's really not about him. Or even about the job in particular.

Unlike Gustavo Carillon, who is graduating in a year from now, Spencer is still an undergrad. He's years ahead of graduating medical school. That's without taking into account his internship and residency.

That's a lot of time to carry on a long term relationship. I honestly don't know how Gustavo is gonna do it with his mate Grayson, who's in the same boat as Spencer and Harry.

My point with all this is: I don't want to wait that long being away from him. Even if we don't get to see each other everyday while he's busy in college, if I were in Houston we could see each other any time. I could be with him way more than if we just keep on driving back and forth to Regency Falls.

I was already inclined to do this, but once his life was on the line and I thought I was gonna lose him, that made me appreciate him even more. I guess it's true when they say make the most of the time you have.

And now I'm a little scared to tell him my decision because I don't want him to feel burdened to take care of me. I'm not saying I'm gonna stand idle in the big city, waiting around for him to come to me.

I don't want my mate to become my sole focus that I don't have a life of my own. That's not what this is about. I might even try to attend college myself. I have a good nest saved up, so at least I'm not gonna be desperate for money.

But the decision has already been made. By his side is where I wanna be.

Later at night, I'm giving it to him hard. Spencer is glad to be intimate with me again and I'm happy to oblige. In fact, I'm ecstatic about it.

I adore making love to him while facing him and his adorable features. I make good use of my considerable force and grab his legs in position while I push and pull until he climaxes.

Goddess, my mate looks so lovely with his afterglow. Both of us are sweaty, but feeling fulfilled.

"Shower, then we go again in another position?" - He suggested with a naughty grin.

"What my mate wants, my mate gets." - I surrendered, before we grabbed a couple of towels and marched to the bathroom.

This is actually the first time we made love in my room. Though it doesn't have the same comfort like the pack house, I'm glad to have this time with him here. It's long overdue.

We ended up sleeping almost at the crack of dawn. We heard my parents arrive home close to midnight, but that didn't stop Spencer's hunger for me and my...

On Sunday, we woke up late and relaxed. My dad had left for work - he rarely works on Sundays but since he took a few days off because of me, it was good form to relieve Mr. Henderson of duty. One of them must always be present, so they can't both take the day off at the same time.

My mom was already cooking lunch when we got downstairs for breakfast. She greeted us and spoiled my mate by offering him one of her famous pies that she baked just for him.

We spent a lazy Sunday, but my mate did ask me at some point if I wasn't going to get in trouble for missing so many days of work. I told him I had a bunch of sick days to cash in, which is true. I never get sick or injured.

Later at night, he returned to the pack house and I stayed behind. I had a difficult conversation ahead with my dad. I have no idea how he's gonna react to my decision, especially since he practically bred me for being a warrior.

But my mind is made up.

When we were having dinner, he was telling us about his day and how the warriors have been reacting to the trial shocker. But most of them were relieved for Spencer as they know how much my mate means to me. That 's nice.

"Dad, I have something to tell you." - I announced at the end of dinner, butterflies in my stomach. I was sweating nervously.

"Let me guess: you are quitting the force and moving to Houston with Spencer." - He said in a somber tone. Mom gasped in shock at this.

"I'm sorry. I know how much you invested in me being a warrior." - I apologized, feeling guilty.

"I can't pretend to know what you suffered these last few days since Spencer was arrested. And how that messed with your mind..." - He said.

"I was thinking about it before he was arrested. This isn't a rushed decision, just so you know." - I interrupted him, not wanting him to disqualify my reasoning.

"I understand, son. I can't say I'm not disappointed. But I understand. You have to make your own life and if you don't want to wait around for your mate... it's your life to live." - He said, conformed. I could feel his disappointment. I'm familiar with the look on his face.

"I'm really sorry, dad. But Spencer has years away in college. I don't want to wait for him here. He is my life now, but I'll make something of myself in Houston. I'm not gonna be simply orbiting around him." - I said, remorsefully.

"Good for you, Ares. I can make some calls with our branch in Houston if you wanna work for the bank." - Mom said, smiling at me encouragingly.

"I'm gonna see what the city has to offer first, mom. I don't know what other areas I'd like to work or I could be good at. But maybe down the line, sure. I didn't know they hired people without college degrees." - I said, feeling thankful for her support.

"Well, maybe you could work for a security company. You certainly have the skills." - She pointed out, pensive.

"Maybe. We'll see how it goes. But I don't want you guys to worry about me. I'm good with money. You raised me well. I'm not gonna depend on you anymore, I promise." - I said, trying to reassure them.

"Ares, you can always depend on us. We're our parents. And I know you're gonna crush whatever career path you decide on." - Mom encouraged me, grinning. Then she nudged my dad to say something.

"Yes, son. What your mother said." - Dad muttered, clearly distraught.

"Again, I'm deeply sorry. I never expected to have to make this decision, but I have to live my life and make my own path. Just like my siblings did." - I told him, trying my best so he doesn't feel bad about this.

"I get it, son. My father wanted me to go to college. When I told him I wanted to be a warrior, he almost disowned me. I don't want our relationship to be dependable on what you do for a living. You're my son, whether you're here or in another city. That'll never change." - He said, getting me emotional.

A tear threatened to leave my eye.

"Have you told Spencer about it?" - Mom asked, curiously.

"No. I'm giving it a few days because I don't want him to think this had anything to do with his arrest." - I replied, anxiously.

"Trust me, you should tell him as soon as possible. It's a major change." - Mom advised me.

"I know, mom. I will. But my mind is made up. With Spencer is where I need to be." - I said, feeling a sense of apprehension.

It is what it is. There's no turning back now. I just need my mate's love and I'm good to go.

A|N: It's cool how both songs relate to the chapter in some way.

Change is inevitable.

Love,

Léo.