Chapter 29: Nice Guys Don't See The Writing On the Wall

So check out the performance above by the popular Youtubers Boyce Avenue. They do great acoustic covers. Adam doesn't look like Alejandro Manzano (singer for Boyce Avenue) but I imagine he sounds a lot like this...an soulful tenor performer with an easy vibe...not like our Lion but still amazing!

I like this song "Here Without You" for this chapter because it fits Adam's bittersweet feelings for the evening--about his family at home in Tennessee, but also his feelings about Mac "abandoning" him for Leed for the night and his worries about what the future holds him and his tenuous little family. He knows he could easily be singing this song for Mac & Babycakes  next year...from  the Europeon tour if Mac stays behind due to her pregnancy ...

Adam

Despite the fact that Leed has had enough liquor to fell a horse, he performs amazingly well. He's pouring all his overwhelm into his performance, and it works, particularly on Mac's dark brand of song-writing. I don't know that I've ever heard Leed perform Ties That Bind better. Despite the BDSM vibe in the video, the song is really about relationships that trap you in bad cycles—so it fits Leed's pain right now.

When he and Mac perform Seven Minutes, I see that she's crying. Her tears put him on his knees, singing to her, and I don't think he's just performing.

He's...on the ground, in every way.

It works for the song, and the audience is completely with them. The crowd noise after is thunderous—it lingers as long as any applause I can remember for a single song. Leed hugs Mac during the forced break, and they exchange some private words, but they don't talk at all backstage after the performance, and Mac wants to go straight back to the hotel as soon as the obligatory post-party networking is done.

For the first time in weeks, Mac isn't in the mood for orgasm-therapy. Of course, we did have the quickie in the truck earlier, and it's been one helluva day, so I get it. We shower and lay quietly in the bed.

Mac's phone rings twice. It's Leed. Then he texts. Please, is all he says, with a picture of his door, showing his room number.

"I'll go check on him," I say. "He's probably trashed, and he's too damn enormous for you to manhandle into bed."

"No, he needs me," Mac says. She rises and pulls on a mint green sweatshirt. She bend down in the bed and kisses me softly. "If he's out of control, I'll text you."

Then she's gone, and there's no way I'm getting to sleep until she's back. I check my Instagram feed for a minute, and see that my niece Gwennie currently has a killer twelfth birthday sleepover in progress. From the videos she's posting, I see that it involves a lot of boy band music...Why Don't We, PRETTYMUCH, that sort of thing.

I post to her..."Gwen your sleepover PRETTYMUCH sucks with theme music like that...Why Don't We Face-time and I'll play something for you chics?"

Within two minutes I get a text from my sister.

Alex: Don't tease Gwennie like that. Now all her friends are begging her to Facetime you. You make me the evil mom for not letting her.

Me: I wasn't teasing, I was serious, and you've always been evil. Why won't you let her?

Alex: I thought maybe...you were just drunk and messing around.

Me: I'm not drunk.

Alex: Is she going to see a party in progress in the background? Bongs and Strippers?

I sigh and Facetime my sister. She looks tired and a little thinner in the face than the last time I saw her, which was more than half a year ago, but she has a wry smile.

"Hey Baby Brother. Wow. Why are you in the dark? Hiding in a closet during a Soundcrush party?"

I pan around the darkened suite. "It's funny that no matter how many times I tell you guys we don't party every night, you don't believe me. Sometimes we just work, shower, eat,and sleep. Get up the next day and do it all over again."

She smiles. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a judgey bitch. It's just that Gwen and her friends really look up to you, and some of these girl's parents..." she looks around behind her and steps into her butler's pantry closing the door. "Some would make a big deal if their daughters said...you know..."

"That Gwennie's Uncle Adam from Soundcrush Facetimed her and demonstrated how to use a bong?" I ask. "Give me a little credit, Alex. You think I'm that irresponsible?"

"No, of course not. It's just...I know your lifestyle is...liberal and sometimes you don't even realize...I mean your language at Christmas set Luke's teeth on edge. He thought for sure "fuck" or "goddamn" was going to fly out of one of the little one's mouths in front of Mom..."

"Well, fuck Alex. You know I would have taken the goddamn blame for that shit." I tease her and she rolls her eyes and smiles.

She doesn't look as tired when she smiles, so I keep going. "You do remember that I saw my first party when I was eight or nine years old—courtesy of you and your college boyfriend, right? You were supposed to be babysitting us, and you took me and Brett to his apartment..."

"And I thank you not to tell my twelve year old daughter that when you Facetime her," my sister smiles again. "God, I'm so glad Daddy made me break up with that guy. He's in jail now, you know."

"Yeah, he was a douche. You traded up with Luke," I agree amiably.

I rise and pick up my guitar, re-tuning a little. "Gotta go, Sis. I've got an encore performance to give."

I Facetime my niece.

I was twelve years old when Gwenyth was born. She was the first baby I ever saw close up, the first baby I ever held, and later she and her nearly-as-old cousin Blake were the first kids I ever babysat. Not that I was some kind of super teenager—all of the encounters with my baby cousins were mandated by my mom, who is big on family taking care of family.

Honestly I didn't miss Gwen or her Blake much when I went to college...they were about  six and I was just like any other eighteen year old dude...completely uninterested in the babies my older sisters were having. But after a couple of years in LA, I was shocked to see how much of their lives I was missing, and how little I even knew my other nieces and nephews. So the last couple of years, I've tried to keep in touch a little with Gwennie and Blake and the older ones, at least. I hardly know the younger ones. Brett's second—Zeke, the baby, I've only seen once--last Christmas.

But I think of Gwennie as my special girl—my first baby niece.

I play Three Doors Down "Here Without You" for her. She and her friends act-shit cool, but I figure they like it because they ask me to sing more songs... but Soundcrush songs.

"Okay, but I'm not Leed, you know. This will be more...Adam-style."

I figure Deacon—a song Trace wrote about a girl's disappointing first kiss—is a pretty good choice. You know, encourage them to hold out for more than a punk. I soften it up though, sing a little slower so maybe they actually think about the words. Then I play Circus, which sounds like it is a song about a first date to the circus. Performed with the band, it's heavy on synthesizers, but stripped down acoustic I play it more like a country song, because of the way it tells a story.

The true meaning of the song is completely obscured in the metaphor, but Mac told me what it is really about— her and Leed getting separated from their parents in an amusement park when they were little. Each one of their parents assumed they were with the other, so nobody was even looking for them for more than an hour. Mac was only six, but she wasn't scared, because Leed didn't care that they were lost and made it seem like a fun adventure. It turned bad when the parents showed up, both angry with each other.

She says it's one of  the very few memories she has of her parents together. They were already separated by then, but sometimes still tried to do family stuff together. It mostly didn't work out.

I don't know why I chose these songs. I guess I hope Gwennie has a better first kiss than Deacon. I know she's making more and better memories in her childhood than Mac.

The girls like the songs. Gwennie's friends ask me why I don't sing for Soundcrush. I tell them I do backing vocals but that Leed and Mac are much better vocalists. One of Gwennie's friends says "No, you have a really, really good voice. You sound just like that Youtuber that sings covers. What's his name? I can't remember?"

I laugh and tell her that's why I don't sing lead, because I'm in the really-good-what's-his-name class, not the unforgettable-one-of-a-kind-Leed-Lawson-class. "That's the difference in a Youtuber and a Frontman," I wink.

The girls want me to play more, but I wish Gwen a happy birthday and wrap it up. I want to text Mac, make sure everything is okay with Leed. She doesn't answer. I wait another ten minutes. I text Leed. He replies: She's asleep. She'll hit you in the morning.

Then I lay there in the dark...brooding a little.

I pick up my phone again. I check the time. Yeah, it's probably still a good time...unless she's on a date...

Marley answers on the first ring. "Well, hello there, Rock Star. What fair city are you calling me from tonight?"

I grin. I think Marley is buzzed. I hope that means she's been out, enjoying herself. The last couple of times I've talked to her, she's been pretty down.

"Louisville, but honestly it could be anywhere. When you get deep in the tour like we are...the cities run together. Mostly all we see is hotel and venue, unless we've built in some time off, which we haven't in a few weeks."

"Hmmmmm...it actually doesn't sound like that much fun to be a rock star on tour," she laughs.

"Oh, it's fucking great fun for two hours a day. Thirty-forty thousand people vibing on what we are throwing off? It's incredible. We live for the live shows."

"Well that sounds better," she says dreamily. "You are lucky, Adam, to have a passion in your life."

"Counseling is not your passion?" I ask, amused.

"Mmmmm...I like helping people, but I guess I'm just not a passionate person."

"Maybe you just haven't found your passion yet."

"Mmmmm...maybe not."

"Speaking off that...are you back on the dating horse yet?"

She laughs bitterly. "No. I'm swearing off men. Maybe I'll switch teams. "

I laugh. "Girl, you can't go lukewarm-lesbian out of bitterness. You would be doing a great disservice to the guy out there that's waiting for you."

She is quiet for a minute. "Hey, is there a reason that you called?"

I hesitate. "Yeah...I need to vent to somebody."

"Vent away," she says breezily. "After all, you've listened to me cry about my exes for what three—four conversations now?"

"Yeah, this is nothing like that. It's just...Mac and Leed are in a thing...a conflict...and I'm pretty sure they are in Leed's suite fighting right now. I'm pretty sure Mac is ignoring my calls and that Leed just lied to me and told me she was asleep so that I wouldn't come down and intervene."

"Are you worried about their conflict? That it will be violent or something?"

I snort. "No, nothing like that. It's just...I'm...fuck...is it weird that I'm jealous of my girlfriend's brother?"

Marley doesn't say anything for a minute. "Speaking strictly as your friend, yeah it's kind of weird. But I can probably do better than just judging you...hang on, let me get another glass of wine."

I laugh. I like Marley. I'm glad we are friends, not patient-counselor anymore. I like her more humorous brand of friendly advice better than her serious counselor advice.

"Okay, so are you just the jealous type, Adam? Are you jealous of other relationships Mac has?"

I think. "No, not at all. Just...Leed is so territorial when it comes to Mac. You know, they live together back in LA. I think...well...here's the thing: I don't know what's going to happen after the tour...when they baby comes. She says she's happy about the baby, but she won't talk about the future. I'm even having a hard time getting her to choose a doctor, and start prenatal care. I'm starting to wonder...if she's even planning on us living together permanently. She said something about us getting a 'temporary' place together to nest 'for a few months' when it's time for the baby to be born. I'm trying not to push her, because I don't want to stress her out, but...there's some stuff going down with Leed. He's maybe headed for a tough time. I know he and Mac will get over this fight they are having, and come out closer than ever...and that's good...but I'm worried she's not going to be able to break up with him."

"Break up with him? They are really that close?"

"You have no idea. I think because they both have commitment issues, and then her PTSD stuff made them even closer. I'm worried she'll still want to live with him, even when the baby comes."

"And you think Leed would want that?"

I close my eyes and an unbidden vision of the future comes to mind. Leed is kind of...a lunatic. I have this feeling that if Leed is Tamara's baby-daddy, he will suddenly reverse all his attitudes, and embrace fatherhood with the same kind of passion he brings to his performance. I mean, that dude needs somebody to love more than anybody I ever met. Yeah, I could see it. Leed becoming daddy of the century...and absorbing Shortcake and Babycakes into his baby wonderland? Some kind of freaky, hippie cohabitation? A very real possibility.

"Yeah, I could see Leed being an enthusiastic...uncle," I say.

"And...you want Mac to move in with you?"

"Well, duh."

She laughs. "No...not duh, Adam. If you want Mac to move in with you, you...kind of...have to ask her at some point."

I make a snorting noise. "She knows what I want. Obviously if I'm willing to marry her, I'm willing to live with her."

Marley makes a waffling noise of disagreement. "I'm not so sure. Maybe she thinks marriage is your line in the sand. You did tell me...you have had issues in the past with you giving her ultimatums and her refusing to be manipulated like that. You need to be clear about what you are willing to compromise on and what you aren't. If you want her to move in with you, without a marriage commitment, you need to put it on the table."

"Huh." Marley might have a valid point. "Marley, you might have a valid point."

"Ya think?" she says smugly, and I hear her swallow a long gulp of wine.

"Did you go out tonight?" I ask her.

"Don't change the subject here," she says.

"That means you are drinking at home alone again. You know that's not good, right?"

"Who's the counselor here?" she says defensively.

"Nobody," I remind her. "Hey, listen...didn't you tell me you are from Boston?"

"Yeah...when I was younger..."

"Have you ever been to the Call-Out? The big labor day music festival in Boston?"

"No...never got the chance."

"Why don't you come up? Let me hook you up with travel, tickets, backstage access...total VIP...for you and a friend."

"A friend?" she asks, amused. "Are you trying to give me an incentive to find a date?"

I grin, "It will be fun...and I want you to meet Mac, and the guys..."

"Adam, I don't know..."

"Marley, you don't have to bring a date. Bring an old college friend, a family member, or come alone, whatever. Just let me do something nice for my friend, okay?"

"You really think we are friends?"

"We better be friends. If we aren't, that makes me just some narcissistic douche that calls you up in the middle of the night to take advantage of your great advice-giving skills."

A long pause. "I guess you are right. I guess we are friends, Adam."

"So you'll come?"

"Yeah, actually it sounds like a lot of fun."

"Awesome! It will be, I promise." I assure her. I'll make sure it's fun for her. It's the least I can do. Marley's really gone out of her way to help me out, even in the midst of her own personal problems.

"Okay...Adam...but I just agreed to that under the influence...so I reserve the right to change my mind sober..."

"Bullshit. I'm a rock star remember? It's part of my job to gauge how drunk a girl is...you are definitely not too drunk for me to hold you to this one..."

She giggles.

"You're coming to Boston, Marley. Talk to you soon, okay?"

"Good-night, Adam."

When I hang up with Marley, I feel better. She's right...about Mac. I should ask her to move in with me. You don't get what you don't ask for.

Marley is really...insightful. And sensible. And nice.  And pretty. I mean, from what I remember. Mac steals my air, and my sight, when it comes to other girls, but I'm  sure Marley was pretty, right? Bodie seemed to think so...

I've changed my mind. I'm going to hook her up. With somebody outstanding. Somebody that will take care of her like she deserves.

I fall asleep with my mind drifting between plans for my trip to LA with Mac next week, and running a list of the bands and personnel that will be at the Call-Out. I wonder what Marley's type is...besides in-the-closet, I mean. Hmmm...maybe Riley...he's got that put-together metro-sexual-vibe going on. Or maybe she needs to go a totally different way. Southern gentleman type-- to see what she's missing out on in the make-her-feel-like-a-lady department. There's a couple of single guys I know in modern country music that are playing the festival...

Yeah, Labor Day in Boston is going to go great.

Awww, Adam is such a family man! Not too many rockstars would call and serenade their niece on her twelfth birthday...

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, readers...but there is ONE drawback to falling in love with a Nice Guy. They have a tendency  to try to be the nice guy to everyone...sometimes they have trouble keeping their priorities straight.   I have a feeling Labor Day is not going to go like Adam thinks it is...

But we have a big trip to LA and a birthday bash in Nashville to get through first. Any predictions about what might happen in those hotspots?

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