Chapter 28: Nice Guys Give Brotherly Advice

Adam

I was just starting to get worried, when Trace texted that Mac is at the venue.

Of course. I should have realized she would go there. The only reason I thought she was at the Riverfront was because we'd had some sleepy murmurings last night about taking a run along the riverfront today, if we had time after the meeting and before soundcheck. I'm actually relieved she's at the venue. Trace says she's working on a song. If Mac were in a real bad way—a flashback—she wouldn't have  song-writing focus.

I text her, to let her know I'm with Leed, and that I know she's with Trace at the venue, and that Bodie's with Tam,  so I know everyone's all good.

A few minutes later she calls me.

I answer the call with, "Hey, Sweetheart. You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Well, I'm still pissed off—especially at Leed— but I'm in control."

"Mac, we were stoned and shit-talking, nobody meant any of what was said." I assure her. "Except me, when I said I can't live without your crazy, girl. I love your crazy beauty, your crazy spirit, your crazy talent, your crazy right hook..."

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to kiss my ass. Adam, I don't want to talk about what you guys said on the balcony right now. We have a show to get through." Then, almost like she hates herself for caring, she spits. "The Lion still roaring?"

"More like... drowning."

"Adam..."

"Don't worry. I got him. We'll be there in just a little bit. Mostly sober." I hope.

Leed is gulping down three-hundred-dollar-a bottle-scotch like it's domestic beer.I match his first two glasses, but when he pours a third I wave him off. Somebody has to be able to perform at this damn show tonight.

"You want to talk about it?" I ask him, putting a water on the table in front of him.

Leed is less ferocious now, but seething. "She kept it from me. For months. She told Ben, but she didn't tell me, until she couldn't hide it anymore." He hisses. "You know why she did that?"

Yeah, I know. Because in her heart, Tam's hoping the baby is Ben's, and she doesn't want to face the possibility that it's Leed's. "She's in love with him," I say as gently as possible.

He swirls his glass for a long time. "Yeah, I see that now. She really fucking is." His laugh is bitter.

Leed slams the glass down on the table and falls back against the sofa, his red hair splaying out against the cream leather. He angular features, usually so feline and exotic, look drawn and weary right now. Under the weight of this burden, Leed looks about ten years older than he his.

Poor bastard, this is really unfun for him.

I wonder if it's in him to do what Tamara asks—to let it go. I think...not. That's a hard thing to ask a man—to give up the chance to know his blood. And there is always the chance things would change, if the kid is Leed's. Tamara and Ben are very new and rushing in...and Leed and Tamara have a very long history of friendship and more...and a baby on the way changes things. It deepens everything. Mac and Babycakes...they own my soul. No doubt in my mind...I would die for them.

He gives me an assessing glance. "What would you do, Adam? If Mac were pregnant and you didn't know if it was your baby or some fanboy's? Would you want to know?"

"That's different," I say slowly. Leed is comparing apples and oranges, here. "A fanboy disappears the next morning. And we both know...Mac has a hard edge. She's strong in so many ways. She would never..."

I was going to say, she would never seek out a stranger and put a baby in his arms but Leed nods. "Yeah, you're right. If Mac were to get pregnant like that, we'd probably never know. She would take care of it and never say a word to anyone, not even you."

I'm a little stung by that, but there's a part of me, somewhere in the way back that wonders if it were true. If things had gone down differently—if I hadn't told her the condom broke, if we hadn't had those five days of raising hell over the options and falling even further in love with every fight and every make-up—if she'd just found out on her own that she was pregnant...well, I'm not sure. I know Mac well enough to know, she would have at least considered not telling me as a very viable option.

Maybe the thought, or maybe the drink, makes me reckless, but without thinking I give Leed my honest opinion, "I would demand the damn test. You can't walk around the rest of your life wondering if Tamara's kid is yours. Even if she and Ben were to stop working for us, we are tied to her, through Bodie."

"And if it is? What the fuck then?" Leed says bitterly. "Fatherhood is not my scene, man. I'm just like my own father...a self-absorbed asshole. Let me tell you, it doesn't make for fun family times."

I rub my face with my hands. "You and Mac are more like twins than twins." It's like they share the same scarred soul.

"What?"

"You and Mac both  think that you can't commit, but that's bullshit. You are committed to Soundcrush. You both give this band your all. You aren't incapable of commitment—you are scared out of your mind to be hurt, because you don't think you can take anymore hurt from people that are supposed to love you. And the truth is...if Tamara is having your baby and marrying another man that wants to share in raising your kid...that shit is going to hurt. For awhile. It's not going to be fun or easy. But over the long haul..." I shrug, "it might hurt less than walking around the rest of your life with some phantom pain you aren't even sure is real."

Leed pales...just like Mac does when she's facing an inner truth that scares her. Then he rakes back his hair and rubs his face. "It's not just about me. I have to think of what's best for the kid. He'd be better off with Ben as a dad. I'm sure he would make a better one than me."

I smile at him. "I don't know, man. If you're worried about what's best for the kid, you already sound like you've got the makings of a decent dad." I slap him hard on the arm. "Look...why don't you fade this head-trip for a minute? It's gonna keep for awhile. You've got time. Let's go make some music. You'll feel better after you roar at thirty thousand fans for two hours."

He nods slowly, but then I pour us two more slugs and we knock them back quickly. Leed ties his hair back, puts on his feline face and says. "You right. Fuck it, for now. Call Bodie. Let's roll."

At the venue, we find Mac and Trace in one of the buses, face-timing Kat, all laughs as they re-enact their fight for her. Mac gives Leed the cool cat stare as he slinks to the back of the bus. I had the good fortune to say mostly the right things during that balcony conversation, and mean what I said, so Mac isn't that mad at me, and apparently she's forgiven Trace for his ridiculous rant about  binding us contractually not to procreate for five years, but what Leed said—I can see in her eyes, she's still hurt and angry at him. He gives her the stare back and bows his head, wisely knowing he's a little too buzzed to get into it with her. He rolls down the aisle, sits down, and pulls out his phone, typing furiously. Bodie sits with him, keeping a kind of silent friendship vigil.

I plop down on the couch and wedge my way beneath Mac, so that she's sitting in my lap, and pull the phone toward us so I can hi to my favorite Little Sister.

"Adam!" Kat crows enthusiastically from the little screen. Dang, that girl looks more like a movie star every time I see her. Oh, that's right...Ben said she had a public event tonight, so she's already been styled for it. "I wondered where you were!" she says. "I thought Madam had been surgically joined at the hip."

I pull up Mac's left hand into view. "Nope. Until she lets me put a ring on it, I get to do what I want."

Mac turns her left hand into a L and marks my forehead with it. "Marriage is a loser's game, Adam. It kills love. You don't actually want to be a loser, do you?"

Kat's radiant smile narrows into a thin line. "I bet Trace is giving a Mac a high five off camera. He shares much the same view."

Actually Trace is mumbling, "Goddamm, Adam. Do you have to bring up the fucking M word?"

He pulls the phone away from me and Mac, and says to Kat. "I don't know about all that. I just know how much I love you."

"Yeah?" she says still tight-mouthed.

"Oh yeah, KittyKat. I'm a damn fool for you. Let me tell about it..." he rises, and gives my legs a hostile kick as he smiles into the phone. He wanders down the aisle, murmuring sexily as he locks himself in the sleeping compartment at the back of the bus.

Mac snickers. "That dude could charm snakes with his swagger."

"He charm you?" I bounce her up and down on my lap, smiling at her. I hope so. Mac and Leed being at odds—especially right now—will be a lot of stress.  It looks like she and Trace got right, but Mac is a performer. She could just be making nice for the show...

She rolls her eyes. "Trace and I...we're good. I know how he says dumb shit when he smokes." She lays her head on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. "On the inside, there will be a part of Trace that is happy for us and Babycakes. But he's still going to be very worried about the tour, and the promoters..."

"We'll deal with it," I promise her. "We'll get through it. Hell even if we cancel Europe, even if the promoters sue..."

Mac shudders. "Stop. I can't think about that right now, Adam." I hear her breath hitch. She's still a little upset.

I pat her back. "Ok. Anyway, it's time for you to go get glamourous, Beautiful."

Mac nods and tries to rise, but I pull her back down by her hips. "Where's my kiss?"

She narrows her eyes at me. "I don't know if you deserve it. You said all women are crazy. You actually kind of believe that, don't you? You're not even sorry for saying it."

I laugh and raise my hands in surrender. "I grew up in a house with three older sisters, Shortcake. I'm just going on what I've observed in life so far."

She picks up a pillow and bashes me in the head with it. I let her beat me with it for a minute or so, then I take it from her and throw it across the bus as I force her hands onto my chest. "Ok, ok. How about...women are sometimes crazy?" She shakes her head. "Occasionally crazy?"

"Do better than that." She growls, but she's grinning.

"Woman are sometimes crazy. Guys are sometimes dumbasses. Your crazy forces us to stand up and be sensible in certain situations. Our dumbassery forces you to rise up and check our dumb-asses sometimes. It's a beautiful give and take. That's the best I got. That's my truth, Shorty."

Mac squints at me. "Hmmmmm...I dunno if that's good enough. Trace wrote me a song called Priestess. I ask you...where's the love, Adam?"

In a flash I have her beneath me on the couch. I roll her to the inside and slide my hand beneath her shirt, where Leed can't see, but it doesn't matter because he has his back to us, hunched over his phone. Her breasts are so sensitive now, it only takes one slide of my finger across the sheer fabric of her bra, and her nipple hardens instantly. She bites her lip, her desire to give me shit warring with her raging hormones.

"Wanna go find a private space? I'll do a much better job of showing you the love than Trace..."

Her eyes are firing with lust. She nods slowly, a wicked grin spreading across her face. I'm happy to oblige—not just for make-up sex. Our love helps Mac's brain chemistry, I think. It helps her stay calm and focused, and she needs to get...even, before the show.

I take her to the cab of one of the equipment trucks. I tell her how beautiful she is, how much I love her, how happy I am in this crazy life we are living while I pull her shirt and bra aside and suckle her a little. She whimpers in pleasure. She shuts me up by ripping open  my fly and hiking up her jean skirt and pulling my cock inside her. It turns quickly into no-nonsense screwing with our clothes mostly still on and my fingers helping things along.She's almost there just as several of the crew take up a position nearby for a quick cigarette break. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Andy give us a glance and then an even quicker look-away. I push her down in the seat with a light hand over her mouth as she chokes off  her swears and moans with giggles. Being caught by the crew is all it takes; it sends the exhibitionist in her over the edge. She's coming all over my cock in an instant and I groan in pleasure as I spill inside her while she still spasms.

The guys are still smoking as I slide out of the cab and give Mac a hand down.

"Let's have a good show, guys," I tell them with a smile, and they all nod and laugh.

Mac just winks at them, completely proud of our naughtiness. Actually, I am too. We need all the naughty, lusty teen-agery fooling around we can get...because it's not going to be long before we will have to be grown-ups.

Most of the time.