Chapter 32: A Secret Told to the Night

ELAINE

The rhythmic patter of rain against the window filled the room as I sat quietly in the corner, watching the droplets fall.

Resting my head against the window frame, I watched a small bird fluffing its feathers near a tree, trying to shake off the chill.

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes and allowing more tears to escape.

It had been four days since we’d come back to the castle. We’d cut our expedition short due to the recent incidents. Even though we were back, the mating season was still in full swing.

Many couples had retreated to secluded spots to enjoy some privacy, while Connor and I stayed in the castle, sleeping in separate beds and eating our meals apart.

Ever since that day on the cliff, Connor hadn’t said a word to me. The silence was so painful that all I could do was hide in my room, away from prying eyes and judgmental whispers.

The sound of a door closing behind me made me glance over my shoulder.

Connor was standing there, watching me. I leaned forward, trying to find the words to say, but they wouldn’t come.

Giving up, I leaned back against the window, turning my face away from him.

The door closed again, and I slowly closed my eyes. He was gone.

A choked sob escaped me as fresh tears welled up, ready to fall like the rain outside the castle.

***

“Elaine.” Someone shook my shoulder. “Wake up, Elaine.”

I rubbed my eyes and turned around. Blaze was kneeling next to me, his face showing signs of exhaustion.

“Hey.” He tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hi,” I mumbled, resting my head against the wall.

Blaze was one of the few who still talked to me since we’d returned. Most of my family, especially Jyn, were giving me the silent treatment, and I couldn’t blame them.

I’d exposed a part of myself to the people I loved most. It was a part of me I’d tried to bury, a part I’d left behind, especially after what I’d done.

Years ago, I’d made a promise to forget, to pretend it never happened, that the consequences didn’t exist and it was all just a dream.

“I brought you dinner,” Blaze said, gesturing to the tray on the coffee table.

“I’m not hungry,” I whispered, looking away.

“Elaine…,” Blaze sighed and stood up.

I expected him to leave, but instead, he brought the tray closer and sat on the floor.

I watched as he picked up the plate and handed it to me. I forced myself to eat, but it made me feel sick.

Shaking my head, I stood up and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet in time.

Ever since I’d lost the pup, my body hadn’t been the same. I felt weaker with each passing day.

I’d even lost weight, which was unusual for me.

“Elaine,” Blaze called, crouching next to me and rubbing my back.

I threw up. The only thing in my stomach was water. Exhausted, I leaned my head back, crying.

Blaze didn’t say anything. He just stayed by my side, offering silent support.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Blaze said, helping me up. He walked me back to the room, sat me on the bed, and tucked me in.

I thanked him, lying down and letting him cover me like a child.

I smiled at him, and Blaze leaned in to kiss my forehead.

“You know I love you, right?” he said, sitting next to me. His hand gently stroked my face.

“I know…,” I replied, my voice trailing off.

“Everyone does. They just need time,” he added.

I forced a smile as I looked back at the window.

“When I felt it, I was scared, Blaze,” I whispered, my eyes on the night sky.

The rain had stopped, and now small clouds were rolling in, obscuring the moon.

“It was the same day when I shifted. I felt it. I just didn’t know what would happen,” I said, swallowing hard.

“What do you mean?” Blaze asked.

I shifted my gaze.

“I mean the baby. When I was fighting Connor, and I shifted, I felt it. It was there, but I ignored it, focusing on Connor’s anger.”

“Elaine…” Blaze pulled his hand away. “Why didn’t you stop?”

I looked down at my hands resting on my belly. Fiddling with the blue covers, I sighed.

“Because I was only focused on my goal,” I forced myself to say. “I want that throne.”

“Damn it, Elaine,” Blaze growled. “Can’t you for once ~not~ think about that damn throne? Why are you so obsessed with it?”

I smiled at that.

“It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted, Blaze. Mother wanted it.” I smiled, feeling a lump forming in my chest.

Blaze’s eyes widened as he tensed.

I could see realization and understanding dawning on him.

“You want to fulfill mother’s dream?” he asked, his head bowed.

I turned to the side, staring out the large windows. A gentle breeze blew, rustling the curtains.

I blinked, looking at the lights of the other pack houses in the distance.

“Mother wanted to be queen, Blaze. It was her dream.”

“But not like this, Elaine!” Blaze groaned. “Mother would never have done it this way. She despised anything that involved hurting others. Can’t you see that?”

“I know,” I whispered. “But in the diary—”

“You read her diary?” Blaze asked, standing abruptly. I twisted on the bed. “You read her notes?”

“Yes,” I answered, sitting up against the headboard. “Jyn gave me her diary as a gift for my sixth birthday, Blaze. You know that.”

He pinched his nose, muttering something under his breath. Turning around, he walked out, leaving me confused.

With a sigh, I let it go and returned my gaze to the window. I needed a walk to clear my head.

***

I wrapped my coat tighter around me as I strolled through the castle garden. A few pack patrols were scattered around, keeping an eye on the castle walls.

They didn’t pay me any mind as I quietly followed the path leading to the dense forest.

With a few unsteady steps, I distanced myself from the castle. I strained my senses, trying to detect any nearby presence, but I was alone.

~Completely alone.~

I hummed a tune to myself as I navigated through bushes and over fallen branches. I had no idea where I was headed, but that didn’t bother me.

All I wanted was to escape the oppressive atmosphere of the castle that didn’t feel like home.

I needed to clear my head, especially tonight, under the full moon.

After my argument with Connor, my lycan, Ashina, had retreated into a deep sleep, leaving me feeling more isolated than ever.

It was as if I didn’t have a wolf. I was just a human. A fragile, shattered human.

I leaned against a tree, stepping over a fallen log and then stopped.

A shadow moved between the trees in the distance. I crouched down, watching it.

I squinted, trying to make out the figure. It was a hunter. My eyes widened and I quickly hid behind a tree, hoping he hadn’t seen me.

Why was a hunter so close to the castle and why hadn’t the patrol noticed?

I stayed hidden, watching his movements. He stopped, pulled something out, and a small whistle pierced the quiet night. Then he walked away.

I didn’t know what he was up to, but I couldn’t just ignore it.

Worried for the pack, I glanced back at the castle, then down at my wrist. The shackle glowed faintly, devoid of warmth. When Connor had walked away from me, it felt like the shackle had granted me a bit of freedom.

It was confusing, it really was. But until now, I hadn’t taken the time to sit and think, to try to figure out what was happening.

Looking back up, I noticed the hunter was gone. I stood, ready to follow his trail.

With one last look at the castle, I pulled up my hood and ran off into the dark night.

This was my opportunity to find out what the hunters were planning. And to do that, I needed to follow him.

***

Panting, I stopped, leaning against a tree for support.

I was two hours away from the pack, which wasn’t part of my plan, but tracking the hunter was taking longer than I’d anticipated.

I rested my head against the tree, reaching into my pocket for the knife I’d stashed there.

I didn’t understand why I felt so weak. It was as if I had no energy left.

Was it because of Ashina’s absence? Or was it because I hadn’t been eating or sleeping properly?

Pushing off the tree, I continued running, following the muddy footprints.

As I slid down a small slope, my leg got caught in something, causing me to tumble and roll down.

I groaned as my back slammed into a tree.

Gasping for breath, I pulled myself up and winced. A burning sensation spread across my waist.

Worried I might be injured, I looked down to find a trap clamped onto my leg. Wincing, I sat down hard.

“Damn these traps!” I muttered angrily, reaching down to unhook it.

As I focused on freeing myself from the metal clamp, a rustling sound behind me made me freeze.

I looked over my shoulder, pulling out my knife, ready to defend myself against any hunter who dared to approach me.

“Elaine?” a familiar voice called, causing me to wince in pain.

I looked around until a familiar figure emerged from behind some trees.

“Elaine, what are you doing here?” Sorin asked, his eyes filled with concern.

“You?” I responded, confused.

Sorin rushed over, but when he saw my wound, he quickly knelt down to help me.

I watched him silently as he expertly unhooked the trap, freeing my leg.

“There, let me check it,” Sorin offered, but I pulled my leg away from him. “Elaine?”

“Why are you here?” I asked, looking at him suspiciously.

Sorin chuckled and reached for my face, gently touching my lips.

“Patrolling,” he replied. “A few of the other guys are nearby.”

I focused on the rest of the pack. There were at least three others close by, about twelve feet away.

Sorin wasn’t lying.

“Why are you even here?” he asked, examining my wound.

I frowned, letting him treat it.

“I was tracking someone,” I replied tersely.

Sorin frowned and stopped touching my wound.

“Was it a hunter?” he asked as he stood up.

I nodded, accepting his outstretched hand.

“It’s the third night he’s been seen close by,” Sorin mumbled. I caught his words and frowned.

“Third night?” I asked, intrigued.

“Yes, the patrol spotted him two nights ago near the border. Connor saw him last night and tracked him until the waterfall, and tonight we saw him as well as you.”

“Connor saw him?” I echoed.

“Yes, he has been spending his nights on runs with patrols, searching for rogues or trespassers,” Sorin explained. “Since that first night, we have been on alert in case he hurts someone or tries to step into the castle.

“We don’t know what he is planning, but he reaches a certain area of the pack land, and then disappears,” Sorin continued. “It’s as if he is mapping the place out.”

“No,” I said, rubbing my temples.

When I saw him earlier in the forest, he didn’t seem to be scouting the pack. He seemed to be placing something near the castle.

And that small whistle sound. I shouldn’t mention it, not now.

I was about to discuss something else with Sorin when a familiar scent stopped me.

Sorin’s eyes narrowed as I heard a few heavy footsteps followed by the sound of large paws. Without turning around, I pulled my hood back up and started walking away from the group.

“Elaine, wait!” Sorin called, but I kept walking.

I wished Ashina was awake. I could have shifted and run back to the castle without having to face Connor.

I wasn’t ready to talk to him or see him.

The pain in my leg was the worst part. I’d hoped it would have healed by now, but it hadn’t. Ashina’s absence wasn’t helping it heal any faster.

With a groan, I hauled myself over a boulder, shrugged on my coat, and then fell back.

I closed my eyes, bracing for the impact, but instead of hitting the ground, an arm caught me, softening my fall.

“Shouldn’t you be back at the castle, resting?” Connor’s rough voice questioned. “You’re not fully recovered.”

~That’s your fault!~ I wanted to shout, but I bit my tongue and stayed silent.

He set me down, and I took a step back, putting some distance between us.

I started walking again, this time in the opposite direction, where the terrain was less rocky and slippery.

Behind me, I could hear Connor’s footsteps, maintaining a certain distance. My jaw clenched as I forced myself not to look back. Why was he following me?

“You’re injured,” Connor stated, but I chose to ignore him.

We walked in silence for about thirty minutes before I had to stop and rest.

My head was pounding, and my leg was throbbing.

I leaned against a nearby tree to catch my breath, and then I felt Connor’s hand on my waist.

“You’re running a fever,” he said, and my head started to spin.

I tried to push him away, but he spun me around to face him.

As I struggled to break free, I gasped. Connor’s forehead was resting against mine.

“You’re burning up, Elaine,” Connor whispered. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t,” I managed to say, pushing his hands away nervously.

I felt embarrassed, like a fool.

This wasn’t the first time Connor and I had been this close. In fact, we’d been much closer than this.

We’d been naked together, touching, feeling, whispering each other’s names.

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I looked down.

“Elaine, let me carry you,” Connor offered.

“No,” I said, pushing him away again. I was still embarrassed. “I can walk.”

“You can’t,” Connor said, frowning. “Have you seen yourself?”

“Myself?” I scoffed. “Who do you think is to blame for this?”

I took a deep breath as my headache intensified. I blinked, trying to focus on anything but Connor. This wasn’t the time or place for an argument.

I turned away from him and started to walk again, but Connor stopped me.

I muttered a curse under my breath and was about to turn and give him a piece of my mind when something caught my eye in the distance.

There was no time to react, no time to say anything. So, I did the only thing I could—I pushed Connor out of the way.