Chapter 31: A Punishment for Another Punishment

ELAINE

~EIGHT YEARS AGO…~

“Should we turn back?” Yuki asked, as we navigated the steep slopes of the Sakura Pack.

“Are you chickening out, cousin?” I teased, grinning as he huffed in response.

The heavy rain from the night before had made the rocky terrain slippery, slowing our progress.

We hadn’t shifted into our wolf forms to avoid drawing attention from the patrol team, so we had no choice but to walk until we reached our destination.

“Are you sure about this?” Yuki asked, for what felt like the hundredth time since we left his house.

I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him.

“You can go back, you know. No one’s forcing you to come with me,” I replied.

He shook his head and started walking ahead. I sighed and followed him.

Eventually, we arrived at our destination, the Cave of the Goddess. A statue of the Moon Goddess was nestled under the stunning backdrop of the snowy mountains, hidden from human eyes by icy waterfalls.

We both paused at the entrance of the waterfall, staring at the vast, dark cave.

We’d been here before, but this was our first time without the alpha’s permission.

“I have a bad feeling,” Yuki mumbled. I let him stew in his thoughts as I ventured into the cave.

The sound of falling water heightened my senses. I needed to be sure we were alone. What I was about to do could be seen as a punishable offense.

We walked in silence until we reached the stairs that led to the top, where the Goddess statue stood, bathed in the light of small fires that lit up the cave’s enormous dome.

We ascended quietly, Yuki’s heart pounding so loudly it was distracting.

If he was so scared, he should have stayed home. He wasn’t needed here. I was the one who needed to make a request of the Moon Goddess.

Reaching the top, I paused to take in the sight of the massive white statue.

Shadows danced across the Moon Goddess’s face, giving her an ethereal, unattainable beauty that left you yearning for more.

I was always awestruck.

Every time we came here with the pack to pray, I was filled with a sense of glory, a passion that made me want to chase my dreams.

Smiling, I took a step forward, but Yuki’s hand gripped my arm.

“Elaine,” he said, his voice strained.

I looked over my shoulder. Yuki was clearly worried. His eyes silently pleaded with me.

“It’ll be okay.” I tried to reassure him with a smile, but he didn’t let go.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

“Trust me, it’ll be okay,” I whispered in his ear. Then, I turned and walked over to the small podium.

With my eyes fixed on the Goddess’s face, I drew my dagger, slicing my wrist and letting the blood drip into a small golden bowl. A faint light began to form.

Yuki called out to me, but I ignored him, focusing on the next step of the summoning.

I confidently recited the incantation I’d memorized from the library books.

I repeated it four times before picking up the bowl and pouring the blood onto the feet of the statue, where a large pentagram was etched.

I waited. One minute. Four minutes. Eight minutes. Twelve minutes. Nothing.

I gritted my teeth, cut my wrist again, and recited the incantation once more.

This time, light began to form on the pentagram as my blood traced the marks around the statue’s feet.

A victorious smile spread across my face. I placed the bowl back on the podium and stepped into the pentagram. The light grew brighter, blinding me.

I heard Yuki shouting something, but the buzzing sound from the circle drowned him out.

I squinted, groaning as a wave of heat hit me, almost knocking me off my feet.

I muttered a curse. Something warm gripped my hand. I gasped, trying to pull away in fear.

~“You seem scared.”~ A warm, soothing voice echoed in my mind, startling me.

“What?” I asked, confused, as the light finally faded and a woman appeared before me.

Her silver hair, glowing the same color as the pentagram, swayed gently as if a breeze was blowing.

But there was no breeze in this cave, not even a small draft.

I studied her, and her pale lips curved into a smile.

~“You summoned me, child. Why?”~ she asked, her voice echoing in my mind.

I glanced nervously at Yuki, who looked just as stunned as I felt.

“I have a request,” I said, turning back to face her.

Her white eyes stared back at me.

~“Speak, then,”~ she encouraged. ~“I should listen to my children’s wishes.”~

Gathering my courage, I took a deep breath and began to explain my feelings and reasons. I expected her to interrupt, but she listened until I finished, her face creased in a frown.

Her eyes, once full of love, now looked angry.

~“You request that?”~ she asked, and I nodded slowly.

I looked down, avoiding her piercing, now red, eyes that seemed to judge me.

I felt a wave of fear as every hair on my body stood on end, sensing a dangerous power looming over me.

~“You expect me to grant you that?”~ the moon goddess asked, her voice as sharp as shards of ice. ~“You are my child, and by requesting that, you’re asking me to commit a crime.”~

I kept my head down, nervously fiddling with my fingers as I tried to swallow the fear that made my mouth tremble.

~“Do you know what punishment that is?”~ she asked, and I looked up.

The moment I did, I stumbled, falling onto my back.

“I—”

~“If you insist on this, I won’t let you go, child. So think well,”~ she snarled, her words making the entire cave rumble.

“I—” I began, but as I tried to back away, her hand clamped down on my arm, causing me to yelp.

~“Is that what you want?”~ she asked again.

“You made me. You know what I want,” I managed to say, my voice shaking. “I’ve told you my wishes.”

~“Impudent child,”~ she spat, releasing me.

I grunted as my shoulder hit the rocky ground with a thud.

The Goddess turned her back on me and walked over to her statue. Her hair had lost its glow. The warmth she once radiated now felt as cold as a winter in the mountains.

~“I’ll grant your wish, but listen closely, child. When the time is right, I will find a way to punish you,”~ she hissed, glancing over her shoulder.

Her red eyes bore into my trembling form. ~“I despise people like you.”~

She turned away again.

A smile spread across my face as I listened to her. I didn’t care about the punishment, as long as I had enough time to fulfill my dreams.

I stood up, bowed respectfully, and was about to leave when her words stopped me.

~“You won’t be able to…”~

I looked at her, my eyes filled with contempt.

“I don’t need that,” I retorted, turning away from her. “You can take everything else, but you can’t take away what I want. I control my own destiny, not you.”

I hurried out of the cave, followed by Yuki, who was visibly shaken. His body trembled from the Goddess’s powerful aura.

“Are you out of your mind?” Yuki shouted once we were outside. “What have you done?”

“I haven’t done anything,” I whispered, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go. We have one more thing to do.”

***

^PRESENT TIME…^

“Go back to bed, Elaine,” Regulus commanded as I tried to leave the bedroom.

Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn’t stop worrying about Connor.

“Elaine, please,” he pleaded.

“I need to find Connor,” I sobbed. “Please.”

Regulus sighed and seemed to mentally reach out to someone. After a few seconds, he sighed again, rubbing his neck.

“Let’s go,” he said, reaching for my arm and helping me up.

We left the pack hospital and headed down a passageway that led to the cliffs surrounding the pack.

Regulus didn’t tell me where we were going, but I recognized the area. I’d been there a few times.

“Go,” Regulus said, releasing my arm.

I frowned, confused, but then I realized he wasn’t coming with me. Once he was out of sight, I sniffed the air until I caught a whiff of Connor’s scent.

It didn’t take me long to find him, near the tallest cliff on the pack’s land.

He was hunched over, his head between his knees. From where I stood, I could hear his sobs, the cries of a man in pain.

His heart pounded as I quietly approached him, making my own heart ache for him.

Connor had shut me out, just as I had done before the incident. He had blocked all his emotions from me.

Pulling my shawl tighter around me, I walked until I was a few feet behind him.

I took in his appearance. His shirt was torn and scratched, as if he had been fighting with himself. His hair was a mess of leaves and sweat. His hands were bleeding.

The area around him looked like he had shifted more than once: branches were scattered, there were paw prints from Khan, and small boulders had been thrown around.

The defeated look on his face told me he felt crushed.

I stood there, staring at him. I didn’t know what to say or how to approach him. But I knew I had to find a way.

I took a step closer and reached out to touch his shoulder, but his bitter voice stopped me.

I froze, my hand halfway to him as his shoulder began to shake violently.

“Why are you here?” he asked, his voice filled with hostility.

I swallowed my fear, a fear I hadn’t felt since the time I stood before the Moon Goddess.

“I’m here to talk,” I mumbled, annoyed at how weak my voice sounded.

“Talk?” Connor snarled, causing me to wrap my arms around myself. “You want to talk?”

I looked away, afraid to see him.

“Yes,” I whispered. “Please.”

Connor growled, making me flinch.

The sound of shuffling feet told me he was standing close.

“Connor—”

“You think this is a game?” Connor interrupted, causing me to close my eyes and force myself to stay calm. “You think I’m just a toy you can toss around? ~Your pawn~?”

I opened and closed my mouth, unable to find the words as I cowered before him.

“You… I know you’ve always hated me. But this,” Connor hissed. “You’re so heartless, and you call yourself a queen.”

“Connor!” I cried, opening my eyes.

I gasped as I hit the ground.

“You think you can deceive me and get away with it?” Connor asked, his hands on my arms.

I squirmed under him as he tightened his grip on my neck. His nails dug into my skin and my vision started to blur.

“Are you so heartless that you can play with lives and play with me?” Connor gritted his teeth. “Was your goal to kill me? Because if it is, then you’re succeeding!”

I gasped for air, my body thrashing. I had no strength to fight him. Ashina, ashamed, hid in my mind, leaving me alone to face Connor.

“Connor, please,” I stuttered between gasps. “I beg you. Listen—”

“I fell for you…”

Connor’s voice trailed off as he loosened his grip on my neck. I gasped, choking for air.

Tears streamed down my face as I gasped for breath. Then I felt something cold slowly fall on my face.

I was confused, but when I finally focused on Connor, I saw it: his tears.

He was crying.

“Elaine, I’ve fallen for you,” Connor confessed, his words leaving me in shock. “And I despise myself for it.”

His sobs echoed in my ears as my hands dropped to my sides.

“You took our pup’s life, and for that, I should never forgive you, but…” His head shook back and forth. “…I love you so much, Elaine. I love you to the point where I can’t find it in me to blame you anymore.”

A lump formed in my throat, tears trickling down my cheeks.

His hands remained on my neck, but he wasn’t trying to strangle me. Instead, he slid them down to my shoulders, squeezing gently, and rested his head on my chest.

“I despise you, but at the same time, I love you with all my heart. I didn’t want to admit it. The mere thought made me nauseous, but now I understand,” Connor confessed, finally releasing me.

His body sagged, as if he had surrendered.

I stayed on the ground, staring at him, speechless. I was at a loss for words. Everything he had just said left me feeling both bewildered and elated. But what troubled me the most was his appearance.

My heart ached at the sight. I was clueless about what to do. I had never been in this situation before, so what was I supposed to do now?

With a trembling hand, I reached out to touch his face, where tears were streaming down.

Connor leaned into my touch, a sob escaping his lips.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered through my tears. “I…”

Suddenly, Connor stood up, leaving me on the ground without a word.

Frantically, I turned and reached for his ankle.

“~Please~ let me explain!” I pleaded. “Just hear me out!”

“Why should I?” he retorted. “When you’ve been lying to me this whole time?”

I hung my head.

“I know…,” I murmured, my hand still in his pants, gripping him. “You have every right not to forgive me, but I need you to hear me out, Connor. Then you can decide what to do.”

With a swift jerk, he pulled away from my grasp.

“What are you going to say? That I can’t love you? That we should keep up this charade? That we’ve sorted out our issues? Is that it?”

I looked up at him as he glared down at me with contempt.

I recoiled as his dark eyes, filled with revulsion, stared at me as if I were an insect. He could crush me at any moment.

I couldn’t react, not when I had looked at him in the same way countless times.

“Speak up, Elaine! Are you going to spew some bullshit and try to fix this by offering me, what, money? A fight? Your damn plans that have done nothing but hurt me?”

“No,” I admitted, defeated. “I…”

“You what?” Connor snapped. “~What~, Elaine?”

I flinched at his shouts.

“I don’t love you…,” I stammered.

“I wasn’t planning to,” Connor growled, storming off.

I quickly lifted my head as fresh tears streamed down my face.

“No, no, Connor!” I cried out.

I raised my arm, trying to reach for him, but he was already too far away.

With a heart-wrenching wail, I let my face hit the dirty ground.

“It’s not that I don’t feel the same,” I sobbed, tears flowing. “It’s that you’re not my mate. My mate is…”

My words were muffled by a sob as I let my broken heart bleed for the first time.

How I wished none of this had ever happened.