Chapter 17

ZEE'S POV

I was having a one on one meeting with Tutor while I was reviewing and signing some papers. We both are discussing the companies goals and plans for the next month. My company and the Keerati textile that's now under my care.

Just when he finished what he had discussed the pros and cons I palready finished what I signed. I push the paper aside before I give my full attention to him while he diligently told me what I need to know.

"The new launching of the design would be by next two months." He said as I nodded. My secretary took the papers to the table before she excuse and went outside.

"Okay let's make that final with the exact date." I said.

"By the way before I forgot to tell you. Dad called and said the Asian Business Summit that'll be next month would be held in Korea." He said. That got my attention more but I didn't make it obvious to Tutor. Hearing the word Korea got my attention automatically and the person I tried to forget that looks exactly Nunew now played on my mind again.

The first time a saw his face closely. The way I held him that feels too familiar with me. The way he looks at me in curiosity. Even if I tried to forget it just one word that could remind that that person existed in that place already made me think about him again.

"The ticket had already booked for you." He said and I only nodded not being obvious that inside I'm looking forward to be there. Even if it's impossible to see him again. With how big Seoul Korea is, meeting someone by accident again is impossible.

"Is that all?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'll go back to textile production. I need to check some problems there." He said as he stand from the couch.

"Okay, Take care." I said and he walks to the door. Before he could go out, the door opens and my secretary came in again.

"Sir, Mr. Kornthas is here." She informed before Max came in.

"Phi Max." Tutor said as he hugged Max immediately. I smile seeing them greeted each other.

"Glad to see you Tutor."Max says after they pull from the hug.

"How are you Zee." Max ask looking at me.

"I'm good Max." As I gave him a hug too. I look at him again and i can tell he's not looking good at all.

"I can't tell you the same huh?" I said making him look away.

"I'm gonna go first Phi." Tutor instantly said as he can see that Max came not for business, but he came for a friend. I nodded at Tutor and they both got out with my secretary.

Max walk to the couch where we had sat awhile ago with Tutor.

"I heard about the wedding Max." I started. He didn't answer but he only look down on his face clutching his head.

I walk to my table and got something in the cabinet. I walk back to him and put the invitation on the center table.

"He invited you?"He asked for the invitation and then looked up to me as I was just standing across him.

"Gun is my business partner and part of your soccer team back then Max. We know each other so he sent me an invitation." I said.

"Didn't Nat invited you? I thought you've separated in good terms." I ask even if by the looks of it you can immediately tell that he isn't moving on about it. He stayed silent and just look at the invitation.

"I thought you're over it Max. It's been four years since you broke up." I said.

"He had moved on and found someone new. You should be happy for him." I continue to say.

"How? I can't never be happy again Zee. Since he left. The guilt is eating me up. That's why I let go of Nat, cuz I'm hurting him with this guilt." Max said looking so devastated as his eyes water with tears that's threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry Max. I thought you could move on after years. I was so focused on coping with the painful reality that I forget that you're also hurt and still living with guilt." I said.

"Nothing of this, is your fault Zee. I deserve to be in this position. If it wasn't for my stupidity nothing of that would ever happen. Nunew would have been here." He said. Now this happening to Max I felt like I've failed as his friend.

How can I not know what his been through if I was on that for years. I sigh and sit beside him.

"It's been 7 years Max. Let go of that guilt already. He's gone now and he will never come back for you to say sorry." This time his tears fall on his eyes.

"I wish I could say sorry to him Zee." He said as I hug him immediately.

"I'm sure he never blames you Max." As I tried to comfort him.

After a minute of comforting him Max had now stopped and looked at the invitation again.

"Now I understand how you feel back then when we almost got married." Max says. Will sometimes I think, what if the wedding had really took place by then? He would have been here. But that's all part of what if.

"He had given me the invitation Zee." He continue, answering the question I said a while ago.

"I should go and give my best wishes to Gun and Nat." He said.

I smile as how he gain the strength to face his pain.

Now I wish him to be okay and someday could find the happiness he really deserves.

***************

SONG RIN'S POV

I molded the last piece of dough and shape it like the rest of bread I did before I brush it with a melted butter and place it on the oven.

While doing it I was listening to Yim. Who was leaning on my kitchen counter top, ranting about his issues and problems about his relatives.

"Can you believe that Song Rin. What do I need that invitation for." I heard him says sounding so pissed off.

"Hhmmm." As I nodded in agreement to what he just said.

"The point is. What would I do there, huh? Talk with our fake relatives just so I can feel that I belong there?" He said again while I just nodded now wiping the counter and cleaning the materials that I used.

"No way." He said shouted angrily.

"Yim, You said he's the only cousin that you like among those fake cousins of yours so why would you be contemplating on going or not going to his wedding?" I finally said for the first time since he talk awhile ago.

"Are you listening to me. He's the only cousin I like there and the others? Nah, I don't." He said.

"Yim the thing is. Would you compromise your relationship with him just because you don't like the others that would come?" I look at him as I wipe my hands while I finish washing the tools I used.

Yim sigh deeply and look away from me.

"I don't want that Rin. That's why I told my mom and dad that they should make excuse for me, cuz I'm not in the mood to go." He said.

"Your mom and dad will be there Yim. What are your problems on not gonna belong when they're there to?" He ask him.

"They're gonna be busy with my relatives and I'll be left alone on the corner for sure." He said pouting.

"Then you should prepare yourself to make an excuse that you can't attend his wedding." I said before I heard the other oven ring out indicator that the cake I bake is already finish.

I take an oven glove and take out the chiffon cake before I turn off the oven.

"Ohh my, why didn't I think of this." I heard Yim yelled like he had really thought of the brightest idea he had ever think of.

I look at him confused and frowning.

"I should take you with me." He said making me bat my eyes muffled with what he just said.

"Are you being serious right now Yim?" I ask him.

"Do you think I'm joking? That's the only way I think for me to not be bored and be left with my fake relatives and cousins." He says.

"You should come with me." As he was grinning at me.

"Yim I've never been to Thailand before." I said unsure to agree with him. Cuz thinking about the idea of flying to a far place out of Korea is frightening.

"What are you talking about. Did you forget that we went there when we're just highsc-" then he stops as he remembers something

"Sorry I forgot." He said making me smile sadly.

"It's okay Yim." I said looking back at the cake and put it in the fridge for tomorrow.

"The wedding would be held on the beach so that would be somehow a great time to unwind too." He said.

"The whole trip would be on me if you would agree." He continued looking at me in pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry Yim. I'm sure they won't let me go even if I said yes." I said making him pout.

"What are they so worried about. From the looks of it Rin, you're fine now. It's been years they should move on from it" he commented. I may look fine in his eyes but I can't tell him about the other things that's wrong with me right now. That's why my family would still worry about me.

"Sorry Yim." I said. Feeling sorry that I can't really go with him.

He just sighs and nodded understanding my decision.

"I can't do anything about this. I guess I'll be thinking more if I go there or not." He just said.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." As I hold his shoulder for encouragement. Then the oven rings out the last bread that is already cooked.

"Yeah for sure. I still have four months to think about it before his wedding." He replied.

"Come on if you're finish with what you bake I'll take you home." He said as I take out the last bread from the oven and place it on the warmer.

"Yeah let's go." As I finish everything that I did.

I turned everything off in the shop as it was already ten in the evening and all my employees had gone home.

I made sure everything was okay before we went out of the shop and closed it all.

We both went into his car and we drove away from the place.

"Thanks for always being patient and not getting tired yet on driving me home when hyung James is busy, Yim." I said

"Song Rin I would never be tired of always being here for you and driving you where you want to go." Yim replied and smiled at me.

"If I'm not just scared of driving I wouldn't have been disturbing you all the time." I said

"Oh come on Rin. This is nothing at all. You are my best friend and I love you for that." As he continue to drive to my home.

++

"Bye Rin. See you tomorrow." Yim wave good bye when I get out of his car.

"Bye Yim, take care of going back home." I said.

"Sure." As he smiles and drives away. I turned and went to the gate and opened it using the hand print that only our family can access.

Then I went inside and walked to the big door and typed the number of the door code before I could open it.

"Good evening adeul" as soon as I opened the door my mom greeted me looking so sleepy.

"Good evening eomma." I greeted back before I kiss he check. "You shouldn't always wait for me to go home if it's this late. You should be sleeping early." I told her as she looked sleepy.

"How would you expect me to rest early when you're still out there. There are many dangerous people that would take advantage of you adeul." She said as she stood up from the couch.

"I'm old enough to take care of myself Eomma." I said making her at ease that I would be fine on my own.

"With how pretty handsome and cute you are. Of course there are people out there ready to grab you. Did you know men out there are not safe with the same gender adeul?" She said holding my arm. Sometimes my mom is exaggerating over things like this.

"Mom, Yim and hyungnim are always here for me so you don't have to worry okay.?" As I hug her making her feel at ease.

"Fine, my adeul. If you say so." As she gives up on worrying about me.

"Let's go to sleep now eomma, okay?." she nodded and we both went upstairs and went separate ways to each of our rooms as we said goodnight to each other.

*************

THAILAND

ZEE'S POV

It's already midnight but I still can't sleep. I've already tried every position I could do so I can really sleep but still I can't.

I don't know what's happening to me right now. It's like each passing day is making me really insane. Since the time Tutor told me I'll be going to business summit in Korea.

This is that Song Rin's fault. I said I should forget him but it's already months and I still think of him again. I sigh and sat on the edge of my bed holding my head as I felt like I was getting a headache just thinking of him.

I don't know what is happening to me but I want to see him again, even if it's impossible, and I hate it soo much.

Even if I said I will forget him but here I am thinking of his face that is exactly the same as Nunew.

Nunew, Right. I'm back to visiting Nunew every day, and those months makes me realize that I should be visiting him cuz what I am doing secretly is making me scared of forgetting the real Nunew and only thinking of the person that has the same face as him. This is so hard really.

If I could just turn back time that I haven't seen him. My mind wouldn't be like this, messed up like crazy.

Now it's making me ashamed that I'm thinking of someone else while I'm laying in his bed. This is bad. This is not helping me at all.

I stood and went out of the room. I walk to Nunew's art room that I've been preserving. I went in and what meets my eyes are the very beautiful paintings of him. You could be mistaken and think that the whole room is an art museum as I've put each painting a detailed meaning at the bottom part of each. There's even paintings that have been put back to back and were placed on a glass where a meaning was put on it to.

Then the center wall of the room was the last painting he made to be given to me but didn't have the chance to. Now it's there, hanging on the wall. All of these paintings are where all Nunew's memory resides.

I walked to the secret room that aunty Pat and uncle Chai had showned to me a year after his death.

I remember how I crumbled down and cried with the truth that Nunew has kept from me for a long time. A place that he had made for all the paint of me.

When Nunew's parents decided to sell the house and the company to me I immediately agreed to them in a condition that I'd take care of this place for them, and that's what I thought of doing before they asked so and I've been taking good care of it until now.

As I was inside the secret room I smiled looking at my faces that were hung all over the wall. How he can draw me like this is beyond me. It was all so detailed that I was always asking him how he does it as I can't even draw a perfect sunset or even tree.

If you would see this. You would have thought immediately that the one who draw and paint it was really obsessed with me. Will I thought of that too but who would blame anyone right.

I sat on the carpeted floor where there's a flushy sitter and pillow that Nunew owns.

What I didn't change here was his room and this place. His things were still there and so were these things in here, and I would want to make it stay this way 'til I die.

This place would always be Nunew's and that's why they never sell this to anyone as they know I would really take care of this place and this house.

I lay down the carpet and put my head on the pillow as I slowly closed my eyes feeling the calmness I felt in the place. Taking me to the dream that felt just so right.

***************

SONG RIN'S POV

I woke up panting so loud with the same dream again.

That dream was really clear that I can't even fathom the reality anymore. How many time should I have to witness that tragedy happening. How many times should I have to see that person die?

Why is this kind of dream hunting me down?

I don't really know.

I wanted to know the truth about this, but how?

How should I know something that's too complicated to understand.

I breath in and out trying to relax by the sudden emotions that I felt from it. I sat on the side of my bed and got some glass of water on my bedside table that Nana Jean would have prepared for me all the time.

I sighed and looked at my bedside alarm clock and saw it was still 3 AM. I opened my drawer and took out the small velvet box inside of it. I opened it but didn't take it out. I only caress the beautiful necklace.

This necklace that hyung James had given to me.

I wish I had the reason behind everything that happens to me.

In times like this that I feel like I was being kept with many things. This necklace was the only thing that kept me intact.

I started to think if life was too unfair to me or I'm just being paranoid. I have a beautiful family that has always been there for me since, but at the same time I don't feel like I belong in it.

I feel like I am a paradoxical thing in this world, cuz all these contradictory things in my life are making no sense at all.

I hate to think that I'm a hopeless case.

"How I wish to remember the forgotten."

***************

KOREA

Asian Business Summit

ZEE'S POV

It's been days since my father and I have arrived in Korea. We stayed on a hotel near the place where the summit was held.

Tutor didn't come with us as he would be taking over the two companies for days that I'm not there as for dad he had already found his dedicated business analyst that's a close friend of mine and also a Thai. He's name is Poppy and his been a good friend of mine since early days. We rarely see each other when we're in college then as he lives in Phuket but the past years we saw each other and we exchanged contacts and now my dad takes him in as his new business analyst.

And my dad had saw his work and dedication. So he trust his kind of work.

Now we're here at the Summit, sitting on the chair that's prepared for us. The summit had already started and we're here listening to it.

We have learned many things and we've also found new business ventures.

The summit ended at 8 in the evening and me and my dad went back to our hotel together.

"Ooh my back is starting to ache with how long I was sitting." He said as he took off his shoes.

"We can't do anything about that dad. You're getting older you know." I said making him pout.

"You're too harsh with your own father Zee." He said making me laugh.

"You're getting old yourself too if you're forgetting it. Now I'm reminding you." As we both laugh.

"Come on dad I'm still 36. Not that old." I said as I took off my suit. I got a jacket on my suitcase and wear it.

"That's old already." He said. "Find someone to be with you till you get more older like me." He said but then he stop and look at me worriedly.

"I'd rather be alone." I said and I noticed how he became sad with what I said.

"Please understand me." I said and he look up and sigh.

"I understand what you wanted Zee. I'm just too worry that you're gonna stuck in the pass forever." He said. I sat beside him trying to make him at ease.

"Dad I'm not stuck. I just love him too much that I know I'm not gonna find someone other than him." I said

"What if there's someone who is meant for you in this lifetime. A love that's waiting for you. Son, let your love for him go, so if another love comes you'll not be caught up." He said making me pause and look away.

"You deserve to be happy son. I hope you know that" as he holds my shoulder.

Now I don't think I can find that love again. This love I have, I know it is only for Nunew and not with that someone he said waiting for me.

"I'll just go out dad. Need to find some thai food outside. I miss Thai food since we've been here for days now." I stand avoiding the conversation that I don't want to lead to anything.

"Okay. Just don't come back so late." He said just and I nodded at him. I know he understands since then but I also knows he can't be for the longest.

I got my wallet immediately and went out of the room. When I got out I sigh as what we had talk about with my dad.

I know my father is just worried but I know to myself that I'm really okay with being alone. I don't need anyone right now.

I went out of the hotel and walked to the nearest stores. I found some snacks but I didn't find anything that's Thai so I just bought some chips.

I was planning to go back but i saw a pastry shop across the street. My dad loves to eat sweets and so does mom. I should have bought something for them so dad could bring it back to mom in china, and moreover pastries are what they both like.

I decided to walk to the pedestrian and walk across the street then I went inside the pastry shop.

I notice that there are many customers in the shop. Maybe their pastries are good that's why many are buying it here. Well, I should try so I'll know if it's really good or not.

I went immediately to the line while I looked at the big screen menu on the upper part of the counter where all the kinds of pastries were there as I waited for my turn. Now I'm thinking if I should buy a coffee or not.

When it was my turn I looked down directly at their beautifully designed cakes, and that all looks delicious especially their chocolate. It reminds me of Nunew, who once baked a delicious cake for me on my every birthday.

"Good evening si-"

I was so focused on what to buy that I didn't even notice that the employee stopped asking me what I wanted.

"Chocolate cake for me please." I said looking at the employee but I pause when I realize who it was. He's also shock on seeing me to. Am I delusional or he's really the one I'm seeing.

God how did God play on me like this. Yes i admit that I wanted to see him, but I also wish I don't.

Right now seeing him again makes me want to run away as how my heart reacted like crazy to him. This is really crazy.

"Hey! " someone clapped her hand in front of us getting our attention, it's the woman next to me. "Song Rin-ssi." She said the only thing I understand as she talks something in Korean that I don't understand. Maybe she knows him as she called his name. So I'm not imagining him. He really is Song Rin. The guy that looks like Nunew.

I look at the whole place and this makes me realize I was just standing there with everyone looking at us both. Now with my heart beats erratically and along with the feeling of embarrassment I decided to walk out.

"I'm sorry." I just said and walked out of the place. I can't feel this way to him. He just look like Nunew. He's not Nunew so why does my heart beats erratically like this. Just like the first time I meet him. No, this can't be. I only dedicated my heart and soul to Nunew. I can't feel like this to someone I just saw two times.

"Wait!" I stopped on my track as I heard him.

I'm trying to not make any problems again so why is he calling me right now.

_____________________________________________________________

That was a whole lot of ride for everyone.

See you again all next week..🧡