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Chapter 21

20.

Protected.

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The whole ride back, I was quiet.

Not because I was mad. Not because I was suspicious.

But because I was thinking.

Ren was right—I did know her. At least, I knew the Ren that held me at night, that kissed me like she meant it, that whispered reassurances in my ear when I started spiraling.

But there was a whole other side of her I didn't know. A whole life before me.

And I wanted to know everything.

When we got to my room, I walked in first, setting my bag down before sitting on the edge of my bed. Ren came in behind me, locking the door like always.

She let out a deep sigh, running a hand over her head before sitting beside me. "Alright, Yanna." Her voice was softer now, more patient. "What you wanna know?"

I turned my head to look at her. "Everything."

She let out a small breath, nodding like she was preparing herself. Then, after a moment, she started talking.

She told me about how she grew up in Louisiana, how her dad died when she was just eleven years old. She had been a daddy's girl, and losing him shattered her whole world.

Her mom was never the same after that. She turned to drugs, and she never got clean.

And that left Ren to step up.

She had a little sister, Zuri. She was just a baby when everything happened. So at ten, Ren became the one taking care of her. Bathing her, feeding her, putting her to sleep, helping her with homework.

She didn't have a childhood.

Didn't have a real family.

Just survival.

She told me how she stayed until she was seventeen—until she couldn't anymore. She left home, left Zuri, and enlisted in the military.

I could see the way she scratched at her wrist as she spoke, like talking about it made her skin itch.

"The military..." she let out a small breath, shaking her head. "It was what I needed at the time."

I swallowed. "How long were you in?"

"Three years." She leaned back against the headboard. "Got out when I was twenty. Tried college for a bit, but that shit wasn't for me."

She looked at me then, eyes slightly hooded.

"And then I got this job."

She didn't say it, but I could hear it in her tone.

And then she met me.

I sat there, letting everything sink in.

I had never met someone who had been through so much. And yet, she didn't wear it on her sleeve. She carried it all in silence.

I looked at her hand, still scratching at her wrist, and without thinking, I reached for it, holding it in both of mine.

She stilled.

I squeezed her fingers, my voice soft. "I'm sorry."

She let out a small breath, her fingers lacing through mine. "Don't be."

I swallowed. "Do you talk to Zuri?"

A small pause. Then, "Sometimes."

I nodded, biting my lip. She had been through more than I could even imagine.

And yet, she was here.

With me.

Ren looked down at me, her gaze softening. "You good?"

I nodded slowly, even though I wasn't sure if I was.

I hesitated for a second before asking. "Can I see a picture of Zuri?"

Ren blinked, like she wasn't expecting me to ask. Then, after a beat, she pulled out her phone, scrolling for a moment before turning the screen toward me.

The first picture she showed me was an old one. Ren was seventeen. I could tell because her face still had that slight roundness of youth, but her eyes? They looked older. Like she had already seen too much.

She was standing in front of a small house, her posture stiff in a military recruit uniform. And beside her, gripping her waist like she never wanted to let go, was Zuri.

Zuri must've been around ten in the picture, her little arms wrapped around Ren's stomach, her face pressed into her side. Even in the still image, I could see it—she didn't want her to leave.

Ren exhaled, her lips twitching slightly. "That was the day I left."

I stared at it for a long time. It wasn't a posed picture. It wasn't something you smiled for. It was raw. Real. A moment frozen in time that carried so much emotion.

Ren swallowed, then swiped to another picture. This one was more recent. Zuri was older now. A teenager.

She was beautiful—brown skin, long braids, and sharp eyes that reminded me of Ren. She had a nose piercing and a confident little smirk, like she knew exactly who she was.

"She looks like you," I murmured.

Ren snorted. "That's what everybody says. But she got her own vibe. Got a mouth on her too." She shook her head, laughing. "That girl drives me crazy."

I could tell by the way she said it that she didn't mean it in a bad way.

She meant it in a 'she's my whole world' kind of way.

She meant it in a 'I love her more than anything' kind of way.

Ren exhaled, staring down at the picture for a second before locking her phone and setting it aside. "I miss her a lot."

She said it so quietly, like she didn't even mean to say it out loud.

Then she huffed, stretching her arms behind her head. "She's like my daughter, man." She glanced at me, shaking her head with a small smirk. "And she knows it too. Be using that shit to her advantage every chance she gets."

I smiled at the way she talked about her, the fondness in her voice. It was different from how she talked about everything else in her life.

When she talked about her past, there was always a weight to it.

But when she talked about Zuri?

She sounded like she was talking about the only good thing she ever had.

I scooted closer, resting my chin on her shoulder. "When's the last time you saw her?"

Ren's jaw flexed. "Been a minute."

I could feel the sadness under her words, even though she was trying to play it off.

I bit my lip, my fingers tracing circles on her arm. She had lost so much. But I could tell Zuri was the one person she never wanted to lose.

I knew what that felt like.

To have one person who felt like home.

And I knew how much it hurt when you had to love them from a distance.

"I know how it feels," I murmured, my voice softer than I intended. "To love somebody from a distance."

Ren's eyes flickered to mine, but I kept my gaze on the picture, my fingers absentmindedly tracing the edges of her phone. "I never get to see my mommy no more," I admitted, my throat tightening. "She's always in London now... trying to stay clear of my daddy."

The words sat heavy between us, the kind of truth that felt too raw to say out loud.

I felt Ren shift beside me, but I didn't look up. The lump in my throat was getting harder to swallow, and I could feel the burn of tears threatening to spill. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold it in.

But then, the next words slipped out before I could stop them.

"And now... I gotta love you from a distance too."

The moment I said it, a tear slipped down my cheek, and I sniffed, quickly wiping it away. I hated crying in front of people, hated feeling this vulnerable. But Ren didn't say anything right away—she just stared at me, her face softer than I'd ever seen it.

Then, without a word, she reached for me, her hand warm against my cheek as she wiped away another tear that had fallen. Her touch was gentle, and for once, I didn't pull away. I just closed my eyes, leaning into her palm, letting myself feel it.

"I ain't gone be that far," she finally said, her voice quiet but firm.

I let out a shaky breath, opening my eyes to look at her. "You don't know that."

Ren laughed softly, her fingers still resting against my cheek, wiping away the stray tears I couldn't seem to stop.

"The distance gon' be over before you know it," she murmured, her voice low, assured, like she was speaking something into existence. Like there wasn't even a chance of it not happening.

I sniffled, biting my lip, but she kept going, her thumb brushing against my skin.

"You gon' be out here doin' your influencer shit," she continued, her lips tugging into that lazy smirk of hers. "Blowin' up, makin' these lil girls look up to you, doin' what you love. And me? I'ma be back in my bag, back into guarding—" she paused, tilting her head slightly, watching my expression, "—and it'll be us."

I swallowed hard. Us.

Her voice softened, her gaze locking onto mine.

"Wakin' up together every day. Goin' to sleep together every night."

The way she said it? So certain. So confident.

Like there was no doubt in her mind that it was gonna happen.

Like she wasn't just saying it to make me feel better—she was saying it because she meant it.

And that? That broke me.

A fresh wave of tears hit me out of nowhere, and I tried to hold them back, tried to blink them away, but it was too much. The idea of having that with her, of being hers for real—not just in stolen moments, not just in secrecy, but fully, openly, completely—it was all I wanted.

And now, knowing that it was about to be ripped away from me before we even had a chance to really live in it? It was unbearable.

I pressed my palms against my eyes, shaking my head. "Fuck, I hate crying."

Ren let out a low sigh, then cupped the back of my neck, pulling me into her chest. I felt her lips against my temple, the warmth of her breath, the way her hand slid down my back, calming me even when I didn't wanna be calmed.

"Don't do that to me, lil mama," she murmured against my hair. "I hate when you cry."

Her voice was softer now, like it was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me.

I gripped the fabric of her shirt, burying my face against her, trying to pull myself together, but she didn't rush me. She just held me there, rocking me slightly, her fingers tracing slow, lazy circles on my back.

And for a moment?

It felt like maybe she was right.

Maybe the distance wouldn't last forever.

Maybe we'd get everything we wanted.

Maybe it really would be us.

This was short ik, the drama is cominggg

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