Chapter 1

Book 4: Finding Forgiveness

ELLA

“Luca?” I asked when he finally answered my phone call.

I had left the house, and I didn’t know what to do other than wander aimlessly down the forest track in the dark and cold.

So I did what anyone would do and called my best friend.

“Yeah?” he replied softly.

“Can you come and pick me up? I’m—”

Tears welled in my eyes as a sob grasped my throat.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

I sat on the curb with my head in my hands until his glowing headlights appeared. As soon as the car stopped, he got out to sit beside me on the damp, leaf-littered ground.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” I said, leaning into him.

“You decided to leave?”

I shrugged as he put his arm around me.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I have an idea. How about we get off this wet ground before we start making any important decisions?”

The car was warm and smelled like Luca, and strangely like waffles too. He sat in the driver’s seat beside me and flicked on the light, revealing his soft features.

“Your plan,” I said. “To go somewhere far from here and away from him. I want to do it. But not alone.”

His lips curled into a smile.

“Was that an invitation, Ella Jones?” he asked with a glint in his eye.

I nodded. “I don’t want to leave my children without a mother for much longer, so we can’t be gone long.”

“I fucking love you,” he said. “And this is going be fun. I promise.”

He then put his seatbelt on and started the engine.

“But the alpha is going to kill me for it…”

“He let me go.”

“He…just let you…go?”

It was hard to believe, for sure. Just allowing his mate to go out into the world alone was a very un-Leo thing to do, but he couldn’t say no in this situation. He killed my brother, for goodness’ sake.

I nodded. “Yeah, just like that. Anyway, where are we going, Captain?”

“Somewhere warm and far away,” he replied. “But you’ll have to wait and see. It’s a surprise.”

“Are we going to Mexico?”

He slapped the steering wheel in frustration.

“How the fuck did you guess?”

“There’s a sombrero in the back,” I stated. “Why is that necessary?”

“In case we need to fit in.”

“Oh, of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

***

For the next day, we drove south down the west coast of the country. By late afternoon, we had reached Sacramento, and we needed gas.

“Why Mexico?” I asked as we drove around looking for a gas station.

“I just need to pick something up, and then we can have a fun time wearing sombreros and drinking tequila,” he replied as he scanned the road ahead of us.

I raised an eyebrow. “To pick up what?”

“Something from these people I know… Don’t worry about it,” he replied with an innocent smile.

“I know that look,” I said, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

We had just pulled up at a gas station, and Luca turned to me and smiled again. “What look?”

“That smile that says, ‘I’m just an innocent little baby and I’ve never set a foot wrong in my life.’ I know you’re not, Luca Romano. How do you know people in Mexico?”

“I come sometimes. Once every month to be precise.”

“Why?”

“Just to bring something over the border,” he said. “I said, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you a drug dealer?!” I whisper-shouted.

“Not exactly…,” he said, getting out of the car to fill it up.

“Luca!” I exclaimed, but he slammed the door shut.

I fumbled my way out of the car and glared at him over the roof of the car.

“Are you going to elaborate?!”

“On what?”

“You’re a fucking drug dealer!?”

“Ella, keep your voice down,” he said. “I’ll tell you later, just get back in the car. The whole gas station doesn’t need to know.”

I grumbled and got back into the car as he finished pumping the gas and went to pay.

He better have a good explanation for this.

“So?” I asked as he eventually came back and started the engine. “Why the fuck are you dealing drugs?!”

“I’m not.”

“Don’t dodge with me,” I snapped. “Dealing, trafficking, buying, selling, using, or whatever!”

“You shouldn’t assume because I go to Mexico I must be involved with drugs. It is a beautiful country with millions of lovely people,” he replied.

“I’m sure it is, but how do you know these lovely people in Mexico?”

“Oh, I work for them.”

“And what is their line of work?”

“Drug dealing.”

“For fuck’s sake! Could you not have just said that to start with? And why the fuck are you involved in drugs? You have a job as the Gamma of the Stella Pack. Leo pays you well!”

“Relax…”

“Relax? I am in the car with a drug dealer, and we are on our way to Mexico to pick up drugs—”

“Ella,” he interrupted, “it is part of my job as Gamma. There is a gang of criminals in Mexico.

“Werewolf drug dealers, if you like, that are a threat to the pack. Leo sent me to get friendly with them, find shit out, and report back to him.”

“So you’re an undercover agent?” I asked, letting out a deep breath.

“If that makes you feel better about it,” he replied, “and I don’t deal their drugs. I just bring them over the border like a trafficker.

“They pay me a lot, which of course goes straight to benefiting the pack, and they tell me all sorts of stuff that also helps Leo protect us.”

“How is a gang of drug dealers a threat to the pack?” I asked.

“Leo doesn’t want you involved in this. I’m not supposed to tell you.”

“Yet here we are on our way to Mexico.”

He groaned.

“Fine. I’m dead meat anyway. Sure, this cartel sells drugs, but their main business is biological warfare.

“They grow weed, mix it with wolfsbane with the power to knock a grown wolf unconscious for days, and sell it to whoever will buy, pretty much.

“Sometimes it’s a direct attack, sometimes they sell it as a weapon for someone else to use. My job is to keep it well away from the pack, in particular Leo’s army, and out of the hands of any of his enemies.”

“So they’re using weed laced with wolfsbane as a way of disarming packs?” I asked.

“Leaving them vulnerable to attack so that they can easily take every penny of money from them,” Luca replied.

“Oh…”

“These criminals are organized and clever. When they want to take down a pack, they get me to send the wolfsbane weed to dealers nearby.”

“These people sound dangerous. What happens if they find out who you really are?”

“One of two things. They either back off because they don’t want to get on the wrong side of Alpha Leonardo Loren, or…they kill me. Let’s hope we never found out.”

“Luca,” I said.

“Yes.”

“This isn’t exactly how I imagined going to grieve my brother was going to be.”

“I only have to pick up the stuff, give it to who I need to give it to, and then we can go wherever in the world you want,” he said. “I didn’t know I was going to get called tonight, but I can’t leave them waiting.”

I nodded. “Fine. But promise we’ll be in Paris in no more than two days?”

“Promise,” he said. “Oh, and if anyone asks, I’m an Italian rogue living in America, and my name is Romano De’Meritchi, and you are, um…my cousin, and your name is…Eleonora De’Meritchi.”

“Eleonora De’Meritchi…got it,” I repeated just before my phone started ringing. “Leo’s calling. Why would he be calling?”

“Are you going to answer it?” Luca asked, looking down at my phone.

The photo I attached to his contact lit up the screen. It was taken by Mateo on New Year’s Eve last year. Leo had an arm around my shoulder, and I was hugging him tightly.

A lot of champagne was drunk that night, but I remember it crystal clear. How happy we were.

“It might be important,” I replied, shaking the memory out of my head and swiping across. “Hello?”

“Mommy, where are you?” a little voice said from down the line.

“Oh, sweetie. Why do you have Daddy’s phone?” I asked my eldest son.

“He said that you’ve gone away again but not where or why,” Cato replied tearfully.

“I’m going to Paris with Luca, Bambino. There’s no need to worry; I’m okay.”

“But why? You only just came home.”

“Do you remember yesterday that I said when you are a big boy and old enough to understand, I’d tell you everything?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, “but I am a big boy. I’m the oldest.”

“I know, I know,” I replied. “But you’re still my little baby. I’ll be back before you know it, and I’ll be sure to bring you and your siblings some nice French candy, okay?”

“Okay,” he said, “and some smelly cheese!”

“Urgh, smelly cheese,” I joked. “If you want smelly cheese, go and get some of Daddy’s socks out of the dirty laundry.”

He giggled in his cute, childlike voice.

“Is Luca with you now?”

“He sure is,” I said. “Say hi, he can hear you.”

“Hi, Luca!” he squealed.

“Hey, Cato,” Luca replied.

“Okay, baby,” I said. “My phone’s low on battery, so I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you soon, and I’ll call again tomorrow.”

“Bye, Mommy,” he said, before hanging up.

“If you wanna go home, we can go straight back after I get the shipment,” Luca suggested.

“No. It will be better for him and his siblings in the long run if I have the time I need to get over Connor, forgive Leo, and move on.

“Cato noticed that something was wrong between us within minutes of getting home, and I can’t have the fact that their mother can barely look at their father impact their happiness,” I replied.

“Besides, I’ve promised them candy from Paris now, and he won’t forget that. Believe me.”

“Okay,” he said. “So the plan is to grieve Connor, forgive Leo, go home, and everything will be okay. What if it isn’t? What if you can’t forgive him?”

“Can we cross that hurdle when we get to it, please?”

“Sure.”