Chapter 14

During the last five days, since agreeing to be Ralph's mistress, Helen had spent very little time alone with him, even though in a few weeks, their relationship would be public knowledge and the on dit of every drawing-room. However, while they were still at Belmont Hall, Ralph's ancestral home, with his mother in attendance, they did not take any unnecessary risks.

They had snatched a few moments alone together, but these had been few and far between. There had been a few stolen kisses, but Helen had had to content herself with the intimate memories they had shared together on that precious afternoon at the lake.

She suspected that Alice knew that something had transpired between them that afternoon. Helen had wanted to tell her new friend about the newfound joy she had discovered in the arms of Ralph. That, even after all these years, when she had given up all hope, she had found love in the most unexpected place. However, something had held her back from making her confession.

The problem with Alice was that she was an incurable romantic. She would never be able to understand why Helen had refused Ralph's offer of marriage. Becoming his mistress, for a finite time, would not be a concept she could fathom. Alice was still far too young and naïve to fully comprehend Ralph's need for an uncompromised wife. She believed in fairy tales and happy endings, whereas Helen had been schooled in the harsh realities of the world.

Since Helen's advice about telling Tom the truth regarding her pregnancy, there had been a radiance in Alice's rosy cheeks. She was glowing with happiness, and Helen suspected that Tom had finally declared his love for her. Helen did not want to quell Alice's exuberance with her looming scandal.

On the day of the ball, the houseguests kept to their rooms. Helen had spent most of the morning assisting Lady Huntingdon and the housekeeper. Extra guests were expected that afternoon, and the already full house was bursting at the seams.

Helen, after enjoying the last week sleeping in a bedchamber by herself, offered to return to Lady Helford's room to free up another bedchamber.

'Thank you, my dear,' Lady Huntingdon had said genuinely, 'That would be most helpful. I do not know what I would have done without your help.'

Later that afternoon, after she had moved her possessions back into Lady Helford's room, Helen helped Marie organise her ladyship for the ball. The bedchamber was turned upsidedown, looking for all the accessories that would be required for the evening. When Lady Helford heard that there would be no bath available for her, she promptly flew into a rage.

In the middle of Lady Helford's tantrum, Helen heard a gentle knock on the door. Helen opened the door and saw Alice, who had obviously heard the commotion inside, standing in the corridor, smiling.

'What has put her ladyship into such a miff?' she said, her eyebrows raised.

'She cannot have a bath before the ball,' Helen replied.

'Oh dear,' Alice said, 'well, the servants are incredibly busy.'

'Alice,' Helen said suspiciously, 'what are you up to?'

'Me?' Alice said innocently, 'nothing, I assure you.'

'That,' Helen said, smiling, 'I do not believe.'

'Wakefield,' the imperious voice of Lady Helford commanded, 'is that Lady Huntingdon coming to apologise for her servants' ill manners? Send her in .'

Helen stood in the doorway, blocking Alice's entrance. 'She is not in a good mood,' Helen said, as Alice stepped forward to enter the bedchamber. 'Are you sure you want to come in?'

'She will be in a worse mood soon enough,' Alice said coolly, 'I've come to whisk you away.'

Alice swept past Helen and entered Lady Helford's bedchamber. She immediately dipped into a low curtsy. Her ladyship, who was poised to deliver her rant to the unsuspecting visitor, was taken aback.

'Countess,' she said, politely, instantly transforming herself.

Alice, with all the grace of her title, stood up. 'My dear Lady Helford,' she said smoothly, 'pray, what is troubling you?'

'A bath, or should I say, lack off, your ladyship,' she said. 'Water cannot be carried up the stairs at this time? Bah! I have, in all my years, never heard of the like.'

'Oh, my dear Lady Helford,' Alice said, as she took her hand and knelt next to her, 'this will never do.'

'No, it will not,' Lady Helford replied, 'I have a good mind to tell Arabella what I think. I am surprised she would allow such insolence in one of the finest houses in the country. I always thought Arabella knew how to manage her servants.'

'Do not worry yourself,' Alice said soothingly, 'I will see to the problem personally.'

'You will,' Lady Helford said, her countenance brightening, 'I do not know how to repay your kindness.'

'There is something,' Alice said, as she got to her feet, so she was no longer in a subservient position. She glanced over to Helen with a mischievous look in her eyes. 'I would like to borrow Mrs Wakefield.'

'Wakefield!' Lady Helford barked back in surprise, 'Whatever for?'

Alice ignored the question. 'Do not fear, I will return her to your side at the ball.'

'I... I do not know,' Lady Helford blustered, 'I think this is all highly irregular. I need her here with me.'

'Oh dear,' said Alice, with a sad sigh, 'then, I may not be able to help you.'

Helen was biting back a smile. Alice was successfully manipulating Lady Helford, and she could only but admire the skill at which she accomplished the task.

There was a silence in the room. Lady Helford was not a particularly intelligent woman, and Helen could see that she was still weighing up her options.

'You will still have your maid, Marie,' Alice said, 'I have been told by my own maid that she is a marvel and you would not be able to find a more attentive maid in the whole of England.'

Helen had to turn away to stifle a giggle. She knew only to well the opinion Phyllis had regarding the shrewish Marie's talents. She had heard Phyllis describe her as a "good for nothing lazy Frenchie, whose only talent was flirting with footmen."

'Very well,' Lady Helford eventually said, 'Helen, you can go, but I expect you to attend to me at the ball.'

Alice executed another deep curtsy. 'Thank you, my lady, You are most generous. I will see that your bath is brought up immediately.'

'You sly thing,' Helen said, as they walked arm and arm down the corridor towards Alice's bedchamber. 'You arranged the whole thing.'

'Of course, I did,' Alice said, looking up at her friend, 'I had to think of something. She would not let you come with me willingly. And, if she thinks you are going to dance attendance on her tonight, she will be extremely disappointed. The only dancing you will be doing will be accompanied by music and in the company of a gentleman.'

'I don't know about that,' Helen said pensively, 'I am getting a little old for that.'

'Nonsense,' Alice said dismissively. 'Anyway, by the time I've finished with you, every gentleman in the room will be tripping over themselves to procure a dance.'

Helen was still unsure what her friend had in store for her. She knew about the dress Phyllis had made for her to wear tonight, but other than that, she had no idea what Alice was up to.

When she entered Alice's bedchamber, she was taken aback by what she saw. Phyllis was standing by a steaming tub of water next to the fireplace that, despite the season, had been lit. The musky and exotic perfume, from the steaming water, filled the room.

'I am going to leave you in Phyllis' capable hands and organise a bath for the old dragon,' Alice said firmly.

'But, Alice,' Helen said when it dawned on her the bath was for her. 'I couldn't. What about you?'

'Me!' Alice said dismissively. 'Do not worry about me. I have already had mine. In fact, I am already prepared for the ball. All I need to do is change my gown and dress my hair.'

'What about Tom?' Helen said, the disbelief still evident in her voice. She knew that Tom and Alice shared a bedchamber.

'Tom!' Alice said, 'is under strict orders not to disturb us.'

'But, how will he get ready for the ball?' Helen said, her brows furrowed.

'You are not to worry about Tom either, he will, no doubt, find somewhere to be alone with his valet. Now, before you ask me any more silly questions, I must go and prepare the old dragon's bath. I will be back in half an hour.' With that pronouncement, she flounced out of the room, leaving Helen alone with Phyllis.

Helen laid back in the hot, fragrant water and closed her eyes.

'I'll be leaving you alone to relax, ma'am,' she had heard Phyllis say before she heard the gentle click of the door as the maid exited the chamber, leaving her alone.

Helen rested her head against the back of the tub and let the soothing warmth of the water relax her tense muscles. The strong musky spiced fragrance of the bath made her feel like she was a thousand miles away in a far distant land.

Since arriving at Belmont Hall, Helen had changed. She no longer felt like the downtrodden companion to Lady Helford. Or like a woman who had to live her life in accordance with the whims of those around her. She would no longer be frightened to speak her own mind, lest it be held against her. Helen had found a treasure in the most unexpected place; she had found love. And, she had promised herself that she was going to grasp hold of the opportunity that had been presented to her. She would love and be loved as long as it was available.

She was fully relaxed and half asleep. Her mind wandered, and she began to think of Ralph and the afternoon of passion they had shared at the lake. She smiled to herself as she remembered how their playful antics, splashing around in the water, had quickly developed into an uncontrollable desire for each other. The memory of his loving and expert touch sent the familiar warm pools of gentle warmth ripple through the core of her body. The musky scent, emulating from the water, only intensified these sensual feelings of longing for her lover's touch. Helen sighed and let the memories of the amorous feelings he aroused in her wash over her. She had decided that she was no longer going to suppress the physical longing for a man's touch, her body craved.

The water was beginning to cool when Alice and Phyllis reentered the bedchamber.

'How you have put up with that old hag for six years, is beyond me. I find it challenging enough to put up with her for six minutes!' Alice said as she walked across the bedchamber and unceremoniously flopped down on the bed.

'And that maid of hers,' Phyllis chimed in, 'useless! No wonder she always wants you around to help her out.'

'Was it that terrible?' Helen said, knowing full well the answer.

'Yes!' Alice replied decisively, 'There is just no pleasing the harridan. The water's too hot, the tub's too small... everything we tried to do was met with disapproval.'

'I was very proud of my lady,' Phyllis said, grinning at Alice, 'she was very patient.'

'It was extremely difficult to be polite to the old dragon,' Alice said, lying back on her bed in exasperation. 'And I always thought I had the patience of a saint.'

'Thank you, Alice,' Helen said, 'I know she can be a trial.'

'A trial, my dear Helen. That is an understatement.'

There was a knock on the door. 'Good, that must be the tea I ordered,' Alice said cheerily as she sat up.

A young maid, who looked a little harassed, came into the room carrying a tray loaded with cups, saucers and a large plate of cakes. She placed her bounty in the middle of the room and scurried out to perform another task.

'I'm parched,' Alice said, as she walked over to the tray. She selected a piece of cake and ate it in one bite. 'I will say this for Lady Huntingdon,' she said as she swallowed the cake, 'she has an excellent cook.'

While Alice was pouring two cups of tea into delicate china cups, Phyllis helped Helen out of the bath. She was wrapped in a large warm towel that had been placed by the fireplace. The unusual fragrance still clung to her skin. She knew that it was not one Alice used. Alice usually preferred light floral scents, whereas this one was richly spiced. The only word she could think of how to describe it was exotic.

Once she was dry, Phyllis gave Helen one of her mistress' silk wrappers.

'Come and have some tea and cake. If you don't come quickly, I will have eaten it all. It is absolutely divine.' Alice motioned to a chair opposite her. 'Phyllis, would you be a dear and fetch my flask.'

Phyllis soon returned with a small flask and gave it to her mistress. 'You'll be needing that, my lady, after dealing with that old harpy.'

'Thank you, Phyllis,' Alice said, as she topped up the contents of the teacups with an amber liquid that Helen suspected was brandy. 'Phyllis, we won't be needing you until six. Go downstairs and get yourself some refreshments.'

'Thank you, my lady,' Phyllis said, as she curtsied and left the chamber.

Helen sipped at the tea that did indeed contain a considerably generous portion of brandy. 'Tom has it specially imported from France. He gets terribly upset when I put it in my tea. He says that it is a sacrilege to put it into an insipid drink. However, I think it makes the tea a sight more palatable. I learnt this trick when I was at school. We would often sneak a little brandy into our tea in the evening.'

As they drunk the tea and nibbled at the cakes, Alice chatted about her life before she had met Tom. She kept Helen amused with stories of her often wild exploits as a pupil at a strict girls' seminary.

There was a lull in the conversation, and Helen guessed that Alice wanted to steer it in a different direction. The intimacy of their setting and the warming effect of the alcohol had produced an atmosphere conducive to a confession.

Alice had poured another cup of tea and had emptied the contents of her flask into their cups. They continued to sit in silence as they sipped.

'You love him, don't you,' Alice said, looking over the rim of her cup at Helen.

Helen nodded. Alice had provided a setting that was making her confession easy.

'And,' Alice replied with a sigh, ' if I am not mistaken, he loves you too.'

'Is it that obvious,' Helen said with a wan smile, 'I thought we were, at the very least, being discrete.'

'It is to me,' Alice replied gravely, 'but I know the signs.'

Another companionable silence filled the room as they continued to sip at their tea.

'I don't mean to pry, and you can send me to the devil if you like, but, something happened between you both, the day we left you behind when we visited Exeter,' Alice said.

Helen nodded.

'Did he ask for your hand in marriage?'

'Yes,' Helen said quietly.'

'And you refused!'

'Yes,' Helen replied.

'Why?' Alice said, looking at Helen with a puzzled look on her face. 'If you both love each other, I see no reason why you cannot be married. You are just the sort of woman he needs for a wife.'

'It is not as simple as that,' Helen said sadly, 'sometimes love is just not enough.'

'I agree,' said Alice, 'but it is a good start.'

Helen had decided not to confide in Alice because she believed that her friend was a naïve romantic. However, Helen was beginning to doubt her own reading of her friend's character. There was something far deeper hiding behind those innocent blue eyes and blond curls.

'I cannot have children,' Helen said.

'Who told you that? You already have a son after all,' Alice said indignantly.

'The Portuguese midwife who attended the birth of my son,' Helen said, 'And, I have not conceived since.'

'But, that was ten years ago,' Alice said, 'circumstances change.'

Helen doubted Alice's conclusions. After she had left Harry, she had not led a celibate life. She had had numerous sexual relationships with many different men, and during those years, she never had, to her knowledge, ever conceived. In those days, sex had just been a means to an end. A method of survival in a dangerously masculine world. She had been classed, by those who had known her, as a whore. Of course, they had been right in their assessment. However, she had cared little for their opinion. How could they even begin to understand the desperate situation that leaving Harry had put her in? With no money and no protection, she had done what she had needed to ensure her own survival.

Alice's eyes opened wide as she looked at Helen. 'You haven't made any rash decisions, have you?' Alice reached over. She took Helen's hands in hers and looked directly into her eyes. 'Oh dear!' she said, with a deep sense of concern in her voice, 'you have, haven't you.'

Helen remained silent. It was impossible to hide any secret from Alice. She had the skill of looking into your eyes and interpreting the inner secrets from the depts of your soul. Helen was still not sure whether or not she wanted to tell Alice the truth about the arrangement she would have with Ralph. Alice was a respectable countess, and she thought that she would never be able to accept the highly improper nature of the relationship that she was embarking on.

Alice placed her cup on the table. 'You have agreed to become his mistress,' she said as though a light had suddenly come on, and she saw the whole.

Helen nodded and told Alice all about what had transpired at the church between her and Ralph. She had not planned to tell her, but as she confided in her friend, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. The path she was going to take was a lonely one and one she was only too familiar with. It felt good to share her decision with someone else.

Alice came over and put her arms around her. Helen felt a tear falling down her cheek. 'Helen,' Alice said sadly, 'my dear, dear friend Helen.'

'I know our relationship cannot last,' Helen said ruefully, 'he will eventually marry, and I will have to let him go. But, Alice, I need him now.'

Alice continued to hold her. Helen was grateful that Alice had not tried to talk her out of her decision. There would have been nothing that Alice could have said that would have changed her mind. 'Helen, if you ever need any help, please come to me. I will always be your friend.'