Chapter 13

A couple of hours later, Ralph and Helen were lying on the bank of the lake, where they had been the day before, entwined in each other's arms.

When they had arrived at the lake, Ralph had found a gardener and had told him to bring Sampson back to the stables. He then released the rowing boat from its mooring and helped Helen inside. They had almost collapsed laughing, and in turn capsized the boat, when the hem of Helen's dress caught on the oar. She fell into Ralph's arms, and he held her close as the boat rocked precariously from side to side. Not even in the very early days of her relationship with Harry, when she had worshipped the ground he walked on had she ever experienced such unbridled joy.

'I would rather we did not go swimming fully clothed,' he said dryly, as he expertly steadied the boat.

'Neither would I,' Helen said, laughter still dancing in her eyes.

When they were both seated, Ralph removed his riding jacket and cravat. He rolled up his shirtsleeves and began to row across the lake with long, steady, effortless strokes. Yesterday, Helen had looked at the beautifully tranquil scenery, but today, she was transfixed by the man sitting directly in front of her.

He was not quite as handsome as Harry. Harry had been like an adonis; tall, dark and incredibly handsome. It had been one of the reasons why she had fallen in love with him all those years ago when she was still an impressionable girl. However, Ralph had something about him, that Harry definitely lacked. His expressive grey eyes were his most attractive feature. She doubted Ralph knew how she could read him so easily by looking into their depths. They were the reason why she had fallen in love with him so easily. It had taken just one look, and a connection between their souls that could not be broken had been formed.

Helen knew that their relationship could not last. She was allowing herself to snatch a temporary rest bite from the cares of this world. She had agreed to become his mistress, an arrangement she knew could not last. Whenever he eventually found a suitable wife, she would have to end the liaison, however painful that would be for her.

But, that afternoon, with the sun shining through the branches of the willow trees that lined the bank of the lake; she banished all thoughts of the future to the back of her mind. She had made the decision to live her life in the moment. As Helen lay in his arms, she knew that she had to grasp this opportunity for happiness at every turn. Whatever happened between them in the future, she would always remember these few precious hours for the rest of her life.

She lay next to him with her head resting in the crook of his arm. Her fingers lightly caressed the hairs on his chest as his hand gently fondled the curve of her hip. She felt loved.

When they had arrived at the lake, Ralph had fetched a couple of blankets from the folly. He laid them on the soft mossy ground near the water's edge. Then, with all the enthusiasm of a young schoolboy who had escaped his master's lesson, he stripped off the rest of his garments and ran excitedly into the water.

Helen removed her dress, stays and stockings, but kept on her chemise to preserve her modesty. Why she should feel embarrassed in front of him, she was not sure.

'Helen, come in,' he had said as he splashed in the water. 'You will find it much easier to swim without your chemise hampering your movement.'

'Well,' she had said indignantly, 'turn around then.'

Ralph did as he was commanded and waited patiently for her. Helen began to splash him playfully with water. 'It's going to be like that, is it?' he said with a grin as he splashed her back.

They splashed and played like children until Ralph held her in his arms. As she looked into his eyes, she saw the playfulness of their encounter transform instantly to an intense passion that neither could quench. He began to kiss her with an intensity she had never experienced before. And now, several hours later, they were half asleep in the late afternoon sunshine, fully sated and enjoying the intimate, gentle caresses of each other's touch.

Helen propped up her head with her other hand and looked at her lover. 'Thank you, Ralph,' she said, a genuine warmth in her voice. 'I had an enjoyable afternoon.'

'Only enjoyable,' he said laughing, 'I must be losing my touch.'

'I wish it would never end,' she said as his lips brushed hers, all laughter now gone as the finality of their assignation was drawing near.

'So do I,' he said softly. 'But it will not be long until we can be together again.'

Helen nodded and smiled up at him. She did not want him to sense the sadness in her. She wanted to remember this afternoon for what it was; a few hours away from the humdrum of her everyday existence in the arms of the man she loved.

'Don't worry, Helen,' he said, kissing her forehead tenderly, 'we will be together soon enough.'

Helen was glad he misinterpreted her despondency. It was not the immediate future she was worried about. It was what would happen when she had to give him up entirely. However, she must not give in to this feeling of hopelessness, she must live for each glorious moment that they were together and hope that the memories would be enough to sustain her.

She reached up and kissed him. The feeling of exhilaration that he evoked in her banished all her misgivings as they physically demonstrated their love for one another.

'I will return to London a few days after all the guests have left,' Ralph said, as he rowed them back across the lake.

She looked so beautiful, sitting opposite him, reclining against the side of the boat. Her long, still slightly damp hair was loose around her shoulders, and even though the sun was low in the sky, she had not yet put on her pelisse.

Since her confession at the church, earlier that afternoon, she had been transformed. The cold marble exterior that she usually showed to the world had melted away, revealing the gloriously passionate woman hiding within. Ralph was beginning to understand why she had hidden her true self from the world. She had been hurt over and over again by the people around her, who should have been protecting her. Her husband had been the worst of them all. He had not deserved to have such a wonderful woman for a wife.

He suspected that she had not told him everything that had happened to her in Spain. There were still unaccountable gaps in her story, and he was sure that she had only told him the sanitised version. He knew that she had been in Spain for several years after her estrangement with Harry. If he could get to the bottom of the mystery, and find out what had happened to her, he could help her rebuild her life.

'When I get back to London,' he said, as he continued to row across the lake with strong even strokes, 'I will find a suitable house for you. I will also get my solicitors to draw up a contract.'

The laughter in her eyes vanished. He regretted the need to talk to her about the next step in their relationship. However, this could be the only opportunity to be alone and talk with her.

'Ralph,' she said, a sadness had crept into her voice, 'please do not let us talk of that now.'

'Helen,' he replied gravely, 'I'm afraid we must. When we get back to the Hall, we may not get another opportunity to discuss our arrangement.'

Helen nodded, but all the joy of the afternoon had gone from her eyes. 'But, Ralph,' she said, echoing the gravity in his voice, 'I do not want your money.'

'I know,' he said, smiling at her and talking to her gently, 'but I have to provide you with a home and servants.'

She nodded, but this time she was not looking at him. 'I do not want to be your whore.'

The word stung Ralph. To him, she was no whore, she was the woman he loved and respected and ultimately wanted to marry. However, he pushed down the bitter retort that he wanted to make in anger. She was, after all, a proud woman who had built her life around the whims of other people. He wanted her to know that she was more than a whim or a passing fancy that would fade with time; she was the love of his life. He had to get her away from the influences of Lady Helford and Lord Brentford. These two people alone had caused her so much hurt over the years.

She smiled wanly at him, and he knew she understood. 'I know, Ralph,' she said, sitting forward and putting her hand tenderly on his knee. 'I'm sorry. I should not have said that.'

As shards of the late afternoon sunshine reached them through the willow trees that lined the bank, she looked much younger than her seven and twenty years. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders and where the light caught the chestnut strands, it glowed amber.

After a few minutes of silence, where the only sounds were the gentle swoosh of the water and the occasional cry of a peacock, Ralph spoke again. 'Once I have everything arranged, I'll send word for you at Lady Helford's.'

Once they had reached the bank, and Ralph had returned the boat to its mooring, he felt sadness settle over him. The enchantment of the afternoon was nearly at an end, and they would have to resume their respective roles. As Helen recoiled her hair into a neat chignon, Ralph tied his cravat and donned his riding jacket. He had become Lord Huntingdon once more, and she was the demure, Mrs Wakefield, companion of one of his mother's houseguests. They stood frozen on the bank of the lake, holding each other's hands.

Ralph did not want to leave. If he could have had the power over time, he would have remained with her forever. He bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips. It was not a passionate kiss, like the others they had shared that afternoon, it was sweet, tender and full of regret.

'It won't be long, just a couple of weeks,' he said, as they began to walk hand in hand back to the Hall.