Chapter 20

Catherine's pov

Every moment without Erika was grueling. I wanted to hold my baby in my arms. The thought of her being alone, without me, was horrifying.

I thought about giving her some space, but we needed to talk so she could get space after.

I did everything to try and talk to her again. Multiple calls, messages, I showed up to her classes, the library, I even wrote a damn letter.

The night she came home I couldn't stop pacing, I felt an extra pit in my stomach. I knew something was wrong, just not sure what. The house felt empty and cold without Erika's presence. Every minute that passed without any word from her gnawed at my heart. I had been angry, fuming even, but as the hours ticked by, that anger was replaced by a gnawing worry. What if something had happened to her? What if she was hurt?

When a knock finally came at the door, my heart leaped into my throat. I rushed to open it, and there she was, looking so small and vulnerable, shivering in the cold. Relief flooded through me, quickly followed by a surge of anger.

"Erika, where have you been?" I demanded, my voice sharper than I intended. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? You could have at least shot a text back." She's lucky I didn't bend her over my knee right then and there.

She stood there, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. She tried to speak, but all that came out was a choked sob. "I... I'm sorry," she finally managed to whisper.

My anger melted away in an instant. Seeing her like that, so fragile and upset, broke my heart. "Erika..."

Her tears came in a flood, and she collapsed into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I held her tightly, guiding her inside and closing the door behind us. I knew something was wrong. "Shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here," I murmured, stroking her hair. "You're safe now."

"I... I'm so angry at you," she managed to say between sobs. "But... I need you."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry for everything. We'll get through this, I promise," I said, holding her closer. We sank onto the couch, and I continued to hold her, letting her cry. I expected the ters to halt at any moment, but they never did.

I remembered that skin to skin contact once calmed her, it likely will work again, maybe she'd ever breastfeed.

I gently lifted her chin to look into her tear-filled eyes. "Erika, Trust me okay?" I whispered, my voice soothing. I guided her to lie down on the couch, then slowly began to unbutton my blouse. Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't pull away.

I removed my blouse and then helped her out of her dress. I picked her up, pulling her close so that our bare skin touched.

The warmth of her body against mine felt incredibly intimate. I could feel her heart pounding, and she nestled her face into my neck, her tears wetting my skin. I gently stroked her back, trying to calm her.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here," I murmured. I kissed her forehead, continuing to hold her tightly. "You're safe now." I walked to the nursery with the intention of getting some clothes so we could take a bath.

The smell of alcohol on Erika's breath made me nostalgic. Reminding me of my sorority days. Wow, did that feel so long ago. She must've been very drunk for her to be radiating this scent. No wonder she was so compliant, she probably could barely walk.

Slowly, her sobs began to lessen. The warmth and closeness seemed to be working. Her breathing started to even out, and I felt her body relax slightly against mine.

I sat down at the rocking chair, "Let's nurse." I suggested softly, continuing to rub her back. I had hoped she slipped, but when she hesitated I knew she was still a big girl, just in need of her mommy. I gently guided her to my breast, and she turned her head and shook it no.

I tried to coax her, but it was met with denial once again. I knew it would calm her down, maybe in the bath.

I sighed, "Let's take a quick bath honey." I adjusted her to rest on my hip and walked over to the bathroom. I started to run warm water while still holding my little one.

I sat with her on the toilet seat as we waited. I gently rocked back and forth and comfortingly shushed her.

She'd never admit it, but I knew she enjoyed our closeness. I could tell she melted into my touch, especially times like this when she really needed it. I really wanted this to work out. We would start anew and talk about everything when she was feeling better.

When the bath finally filled. I removed the remainder of my clothes and placed Erika in the bath before me. She sat limped and brought her knees to her chest, as she always did.

"Can I get in with you?" I asked for the first time, not wanting to cross anymore boundaries, boundaries we needed to set soon. Erika weakly nodded before resting her head on her crossed arms.

When I emerged myself in the water behind her I gently put her long brown hair into the bun, to avoid it getting any more wet. We'll wash it tomorrow.

"Do you want me to wash you or do you want to do it?" I had the wash cloth already in my hand, but I wanted to allow her to have some independence.

She lifted her head from its hidden state and grabbed the washcloth without a word. She scrubbed and I looked away to give her some privacy. Once she was done she rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes tightly.

"It's very dangerous to fall asleep in the tub, baby." I warned as I rubbed the length of her back, scratching her skin lightly. Maybe I wasn't helping at all with my action, it was just a force of habit.

"But I guess it's okay right now because I'm here," I hugged her tightly. I missed her so much, "Let's go to sleep tonight and talk tomorrow?"

She sighed and angrily lifted her head, "About what?"

"I think you know what." I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay." She replied simply, colliding her head into my chest. I let out a dramatic 'ow'. It didn't really hurt, but that was still not okay.

"Sorry." She squealed. I got us both out of the bath and Erika insisted on changing herself. I changed myself and sat on the couch, waiting for her.

Despite my insistence she didn't want me to tuck her in. She just wanted to be left alone, her angered state coming back with every passing moment.

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In the silence of the night, a faint sound reached my ears—a muffled retching coming from the bathroom. My heart leapt into my throat as I scrambled out of bed, anxiety coursing through me.

I hurried down the hall, my bare feet padding softly against the floor. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and I could hear Erika inside, her labored breathing punctuated by the sound of vomiting. My heart ached for her.

"Erika?" I called gently, pushing the door open a bit more. The harsh bathroom light illuminated her hunched figure over the toilet, her hair cascading down around her face.

She didn't look up, but I could see the tension in her shoulders, the way her body was trembling. My instinct was to rush to her side, to hold her hair back and offer comfort, but I hesitated, unsure if she would welcome my help.

"Erika, sweetheart," I said softly, taking a tentative step forward. "Let me help you."

"Go away," she croaked, her voice raw and full of anger. "I don't need you."

Her words cut deep, but I knew she was in pain, both physically and emotionally. I paused, torn between respecting her wishes and wanting to be there for her.

"I'm just worried about you," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and soothing. "I want to make sure you're okay."

"I said go away!" she shouted, finally lifting her head to glare at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears mingling with sweat on her flushed cheeks. "Just leave me alone!"

I took a step back, my heart aching at the sight of her so distressed. I wanted nothing more than to hold her, to ease her pain, but I knew that pushing her now would only make things worse.

"Alright," I said softly, backing out of the bathroom. "But if you need me, I'm here, okay?"

She didn't respond, her attention already back on the toilet as another wave of nausea hit her. I lingered in the doorway for a moment longer, torn between wanting to stay and knowing I needed to give her space.

Reluctantly, I returned to my room, leaving the door ajar just in case she changed her mind. I sat on the edge of my bed, listening for any signs that she might need me, my heart heavy with worry and helplessness.

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After Erika woke up, she joined me on the couch. I wrapped a soft blanket around both of us, pulling her close as we settled in for our talk. She was compliant despite the apprehension written all over her face.

"Alright, love," I began gently, "I think it's time we have a long conversatio-"

I was cut off by a little unsure voice, "Why did you lie to me?" Erika's big brown eyes began to fill with tears, but none spilled over, yet. Her lip quivered, as it always did when she was trying to hold back her tears.

It hurt my heart to see her so disappointed, so vulnerable. She wasn't screaming at me in anger to argue, just genuinely wanted to hear my response. My face immediately softened from my serious exterior.

"Honey I didn't lie, I just," I paused for a moment to think of how exactly to explain the situation, "I just needed you to let me take care of you and I thought that was the only way."

Erika looked away from me as a tear shed from her eye, likely trying to hide the fact she was crying.

When she didn't respond after a minute, I continued, "So I wanted us to each write a list," I grabbed the paper on the table in front of us, "you put your likes and dislikes about our arrangement," I write a t-chart like thing on both papers as I spoke, "I'll write my wants and we'll cross apply."

Erika looked back at me, her eyes still glossy from the tears she likely shed earlier. I wanted to comfort my baby, to rock her till she falls into a state of serenity, to wrap her in a warm blanket of my love. Yet I knew she didn't want that now, she needed structure and to work through our issues.

"I don't like anything about our arrangement." Erika replied coldly. Ouch.

"Are you sure you don't want to think about it?" I asked with the utmost hope in my voice.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "No. I hate it here." She said it so quickly, with no hesitation.

"Well then I'll make a deal," I sighed, I was hurt but it was my own fault this is a conversation we should have had way earlier, "we'll sit here for five minutes and if you can't find one thing you like I'll still let you stay here until the end of the year."

"And if I do... like something?" She responded as she took the paper from my hand.

"Then we'll continue our agreement." I said simply and I started writing. I wanted her to write a million things she liked, but I knew she wouldn't, she was too stubborn.

Erika stared at the blank page in front of her, her pen hovering uncertainly above the paper. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, trying not to pressure her but feeling the weight of the moment.

I began writing my own list, focusing on the things I wanted for us: cuddles, kisses, dress-up, breastfeeding, diapers, safety. But I also considered what she needed: more freedom, a sense of normalcy, a chance to experience life on her own terms.

The silence stretched between us, punctuated only by the occasional scratch of my pen on the paper. I tried to keep my breathing steady, giving her the space to think and process without interruption.

After a few minutes, I glanced over at her. Erika was still staring at her paper, her lips pressed into a thin line. I could see the internal battle she was waging, and I felt a pang of sympathy.

Finally, she let out a small sigh and began to write. Her movements were slow and deliberate, as if each word was being carefully weighed before being committed to the page.

Once I saw her pen stop moving I interrupted, "Ready to share?" I asked gently, hoping to ease some of the tension.

She nodded, her expression guarded. "You go first," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I picked up my list and handed it to her, "How about I read yours and you read mine?"

A small okay left her lips and she put her list in my hands. I read intently:

Likes:

your hugs

your reassurance

Dislikes:

diapers

no freedom

treating me like a baby (outside two hours)

lying

All were fair. I should respect the fact that she is a college student at the end of the day. Although I wanted to do nothing more than keep her safe from the dangers of the world, I knew I couldn't keep her cooped up inside, forever.

After I finished reading her list I broke the silence between us, "So I think I have come to an agreement, after reading our lists."

"Okay?" She asked eagerly.

"Well first was there anything on my list that you would absolutely not do?" I questioned. Erika began to bite her lip and her face looked to be one of concentration.

"I guess not, it depends on the "agreement." She replied.

"Well what I was going to say is that I won't treat you like a baby whatsoever outside of the two hours we agree upon, but in those two hours you agree to do everything on that list." I proposed.

Erika's eyes widened, "So no more curfew? Bedtime?"

"Yes, exactly. You can even stop being my intern if you want." I replied.

I watched Erika's face as she processed my proposal. Her eyes flicked back and forth, as if weighing each word. Her brow furrowed in concentration, and I could almost see the gears turning in her mind.

"So," she said slowly, "I get to be a normal college student most of the time, and then just two hours of babying each day?"

"Exactly," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady and reassuring. "I know I've overstepped, and I want to make this work for both of us. You deserve freedom, Erika, and I trust you to handle it responsibly."

Erika glanced back at her list, her fingers tracing the words she'd written. "And you'll stop lying to me? No more surprises like the laxatives?"

"I promise," I said earnestly. "No more secrets, no more tricks. We'll communicate openly and honestly. I want you to feel safe and respected here."

She nodded, her expression softening just a bit. "Okay. I think I can live with that."

"Good," I sat up, "and now it's time for a reiteration of the rules."

"What do you mean?" Erika asked with fear fluttering in her eyes.

"We talked about poor communication before and I warned you that next time it would result in a spanking-" I was cut off by a little scoff.

"What? I think drugging me for months is punishment enough, don't you?" She asked with sarcasm coding her tongue.

"Honey, I understand your frustration, but I want you to know it's not okay to run away and not say anything. I told you multiple times before, and the rules still stand."

"No there's no way you're going to s-spank me." Erika looked down her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. I didn't expect her to be embarrassed. She was so adorable, but I had to follow through.

"Erika, I know that I was also flawed so I'll only be giving you 10 spankings." I tried to compromise.

"No. Not happening." She replied, still looking down shyly. It's a great contrast to my usual confident girl, her shyness just adds to her adorable nature.

"Please don't make this more difficult, the more you argue the more spanking I'll add." I pleaded with the anxious girl in front of me. Suddenly tears began to fall from her eyes. I wanted to scoop her up and tell her everything would be okay, but she was still in trouble.

"Monkey, what's wrong?" I asked with concern. I didn't know what prompted her to start crying, maybe the stress of the situation.

"Nothing, sorry." She replied quickly, turning her head to face the opposite direction of me. That was a tell tale sign that it was not "nothing".

"I know it's not "nothing" sweetheart, you can tell me." I responded sitting back down next to my baby.

"I'm scared. I've never been punished before." Erika's face turned from looking away from to looking down at her lap. She anxiously picked her fingers, awaiting my response.

It makes sense she's never been spanked, she's usually an angel, sure she back talks, but she's also still 17 and a normal teenage girl often argues with her mother.

I sighed and gave in. I brought her into a hug and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I promise I'll be gentle and listen to you every step of the way." I whispered in her ear s I rubbed her back.

"Okay." Erika sniffled and whispered back.

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Erika's pov

Cat gently guided me over her lap. I was lowkey shitting my pants in fear. This is literally the scariest moment of my life. Like this has never happened to me. Ever.

I wasn't even scared of the pain, just the humiliation of getting punished. Don't even get me started on that. No way she's literally punishing me for running off when SHE was the one drugging ME.

Despite that I knew she wasn't going to budge, and I didn't want to get in any more trouble.

My torso laid on Cat's lap, while my legs rested on the couch. Tears still were forming in my eyes, and she hadn't even touched me yet, just the anticipation made me shake with fear.

Suddenly, a hard swat on my behind broke me out of my thoughts. Shit. That actually kinda hurt.

She paused for a sec, leaving me scared once more, but then continued. She alternated sides and each one stung more than the last.

My cries went from silent drops exiting my eyes, to audible sniffles. I never was a loud crier, but at the moment I couldn't muffle the sounds of my sniffles. You can rarely hear when I was upset, but clearly you could see.

"You will not leave this house for days and come home drunk, understood?" Cat said sternly, her tone scaring me even more.

I nodded, but I guess that wasn't enough.

"Little one I need an answer." She said with a swat on my behind.

"Yes." I responded, trying not to let out an ow.

"Yes, who?" She spanked again.

"Yes, mommy." No way was I going to deny her in my state.

When she finally stopped, Cat lifted me up off her lap and my butt felt like it was on fire. That was an experience I never wanted to happen again.

Yes it hurt somewhat, but my pride hurt more. Cat never failed to make me feel vulnerable.

Silently she wiped my tear stained face and lifted me up in her arms and shushed my cries.

"You were such a good girl, so brave," Cat rubbed my back, "took your punishment so well."

I wanted so badly not to melt into her touch, to reject her comfort, but I couldn't. I instead welcomed it with open arms.

I rested my head on her shoulder and tried to avoid her gaze, as I was still embarrassed.

My silence was interrupted by a cold towel whipping my tears off and a gentle Cat, "Now, do you want to do our time now or later. I'll start putting on a timer."

"Now." I said I wanted to get it over with.

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how do u guys feel apt spanking? idk if I like it for Cat and Erika's dynamic, but lmk what u think?