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Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

SMELLING ROSES

I nearly ripped the hinges off the doors as we bustled inside the hospital. The cool air hit my already drenched skin like sparks of lightning. It was raining and summer thunderstorms were rarely forgiving.

I forgot my sandals long ago but still managed to slip on my bare feet. I could hear Wren's squeaking footsteps behind me. I called the first available elevator down. My heart was in my throat. My body rattled like it was the dead of winter. I couldn't even think straight. It was like someone flipped my brain upside down.

I couldn't believe it.

She was awake. She was alive.

The impossible happened.

To us.

To me.

I needed to see her for myself. I needed to see what impossible looked like. Shae could've been mistaken. The doctors didn't believe this was possible and for good reason. There could be complications. She could get sick or her heart could fail. She could be gone already.

I jammed my finger into the button and waited for our floor. Why did everything move so slow when you needed to be somewhere? What if I missed her?

As the elevator came to a stop, Wren grabbed my hand. He hadn't said a word since we hopped into his car hours ago.

"This is real, Nora." He pressed his warm hand into my cheek. "Your family wouldn't lie to you. Your dream really did come true."

"But...you—you don't understand. I wanted to pull the plug. I wanted to take her off of life support. If I had— "

"Don't think like that. You were only doing what you thought was right."

My phone buzzed with a call from Shae. When the elevator doors slid open, I tore away from his hold and sprinted down the hall. An elderly woman walked out my mother's hospital room. She looked like she used all her strength to stand up. Her cane wobbled as she took light steps back up the hall. A woman I'd only seen once. My grandmother. She was the only grandparent still alive, but never wanted to be a part of our lives. Including my mother.

Uncle Ronnie pressed his hand into her back, looking up at us. A smile took over his features when he found Wren behind me. It was a shame how little my parents' family cared about us.

"Oh, Nora," my grandmother smiled. Her cold, boney fingers wrapped around my hand. "You still look like your mother."

Never heard that before. I'm surprised she even remembered my name. "You two came together?" I asked as my Uncle Ronnie slithered to Wren's side.

"Met in the hallway. I'm gonna take her home." He dropped his gaze.

"Nora!" Mrs. Davidson's lively scream bounced through the hall.

Behind her stood the residents of Patterson's Alley. Their eyes were filled with tears but they had smiles on their faces. As they sauntered out my mother's room, Uncle Ronnie pushed my grandmother to the elevators. I guess he couldn't deal with all of them at once.

Mrs. Davidson was the first to throw me into a hug. She hugged me so tight I thought I'd bruise. When she let go, they all followed suit.

"How we beat you here?" someone joked, and it broke the tension in my chest.

Just when their hug-fest started to feel like torture, Shae appeared. A smile pulled at their lips, but it couldn't hide their bloodshot eyes. They yanked me into a tight hug and suddenly I was scared.

"Come on." They pulled me to the door.

I wanted to fall to my knees and beg for a few moments. I gripped Wren's hand and together, the three of us entered.

The smell of fresh roses drifted through my nose. Dozens of flowers and fruit baskets lined the back counter. My siblings and father gathered around her bed, whispering to themselves. They hovered so tightly I couldn't see her. Other than their hushed voices, the room was silent. And even that made me nervous.

Shae cleared their throat, and Nadia popped her head up from the bed. She detached herself from our mother's side, and although Zacari and my father still blocked the sight of her, I could feel her. I knew my mother was finally here.

"Nora!" Nadia exclaimed, hopping from the bed and into my arms. "I missed you so much."

Zacari, not too far behind her, jumped into a hug. "Sorry for what I said."

When he released me, my father came over. I got ready for him to say I told you so.

"Yo' Ma' been waiting for you," he said.

Everyone diverted their attention to Wren, offering him handshakes and playful jabs about keeping me away.

Now, with everyone on the other side of the room, I had a clear view of her. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes. Her face was ashen and sunken. She looked as though she hadn't eaten in years and her locks were completely gone, but she looked at me. A very big feat. I'd often try to picture her eyes from memory just in case I never saw them again.

But I didn't have to.

She smiled and stretched out her hand. I walked to her with timid steps, almost afraid I'd break her.

I sat in the chair and took her hand. She squeezed.

"Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Do you need anything? How—how about food? Are you hungry?" I asked.

She smiled, squeezing my hand. I waited for an answer, but it never came.

"I'm asking too many questions." I laughed. "How do you feel?"

"Nora," Shae called. "She's deaf. She can't hear you."

My mother's eyes welled up with tears as if she heard them. A small pout formed at her lips. She squeezed my hand again. She was trying to communicate with me.

A handful of forgotten notebook paper littered the desk beside her. They had to talk to her through pen and paper. But it was clear she had trouble writing back.

Everything I planned to tell her, all my reasoning and doubts, I planned to explain everything. I wanted to share my memories with her, and I couldn't. At least not in the way I'd hope.

I could feel an onslaught of tears push against my eyes. I tried to find the right words.

"Mom, I—I'm sorry," I cried.

Falling into her hands, I broke down in tears. There was nothing I could do or say to make up for my judgment. I even convinced my father, of all people. The only thing I could do was cry because even though guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders, I could feel my mother's touch again. And had she woken up a day or two later, I never would have.

She groaned, and I shot to my feet. Tears streamed down my neck as I fixed her covers. "It's okay. It's okay."

When I tried to fluff her pillow, she gripped my hand tighter. She groaned again and shook her head. Tears poured from her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak. When the words didn't form, she plopped her head back and hissed.

I felt like I made things worse. Crying wouldn't help her. Apologizing wouldn't fix anything. I wiped my tears, but they wouldn't stop falling. And she wouldn't let go of my hand.

Trying to break away from her hold, I looked back at Wren. He would know what to do. He'd say something funny or witty to distract me or make me laugh, but he was crying too.

He took a step forward, but my father beat him to it. Pulling me into a hug, he enveloped me in warmth. He rubbed my back until I wailed into his chest. "Stop saying sorry. You can cry. I'm the one who sorry. I failed you and your Ma' the most. That's on me. So, just cry. That's yo only job."

His tight hold muffled my cries. I nestled into the fabric of his shirt and, for the first time, I felt like I could breathe. He pulled me closer as my mother held my hand. I never thought I'd see them together again.

I heard Shae cross the room. They draped their arms over my back and hugged me from behind. Not a second later, I felt Nadia's little arms wrapped around my waist. Zacari must be somewhere huddled in our father's side because his once comforting warmth turned into a mini sauna.

Everyone sobbed. I could hear Shae's wheezing cry in my ear and Zacari sniffing clumps of snot up his nose. Poor Nadia was so empathic, she'd cry if anyone shed a tear. My crying had subsided and a fit of giggles laid at the back of my throat.

Struggling for air, I wiggled my head out of the intense group hug and took a deep breath. At my dramatics, everyone let go.

I propelled across the room, forgetting about the person I wanted to introduce to my mother. Wren looked like he was barely keeping it together and I took his hand.

"Come here. I want you to meet my mom."

"Oh, I—" He stumbled on his words. As if my mother wasn't the sweetest person ever, he seemed frightened that he'd break her too. But before he could say anything, my father spoke up.

"I haven't even met him yet."

"Ain't nobody here for you, Dad," Zacari said. The room filled with laughter, but one look from my father, Zacari cut his hysterics short. "Sorry."

Wren doubled back. I'd never seen him so flustered. Tears stained his rosy cheeks. He rushed forward. Taking my father's hand, he looked tiny next to him. My father seemed to stand a little taller. The boy who had the whole town in a fit looked like a lost puppy next to him.

"It's nice to meet you, sir. I'm Wren."

"You the one keeping her from home?"

Wren gulped and his face paled. You had to know my father to catch when he was joking. And with everyone keeping quiet, Wren wouldn't be able to tell the difference. He looked like he was going to piss himself.

I threw my hands in the air. "Bye! You kicked me out."

My father burst out laughing, and so did everyone else. Wren joined in too. I wasn't sure if it was a laugh or a cry for help, but he seemed to gain enough color to face my mother.

"Mom. This...this...He—" I had no idea how to introduce them. She looked between us with wide eyes and raised brows. But even if she could hear me, I still didn't know what to say. That he made my summer, that I loved him, or that he was the reason I wanted to dream. He was all those things, and none of them seemed enough for what he had done for me.

I was stumped. And he stared at me like I had all the answers. We both couldn't be lost for words, but as I tried to find the right way to explain who he was to me, my mother pressed her hand into his palm and held tightly. Her smile deepened when he rested his hand on top of hers. She yanked him down and hugged him too.

Doctor Simmons tiptoed in. She looked like she had just run ten miles and our room was her resting spot. I didn't give her time to catch her breath and I wrapped her in my arms. She seemed surprised by my sudden affection and stalled. A few seconds later, she patted my back.

I was going to cry again. After the accident, I was so afraid to come back here and see another doctor. I was convinced they still wouldn't listen to me. I was afraid they'd overlook her again. Doctor Simmons was an angel to our family. I could never repay her for saving my mother's life.

"Thank you," I cried.

Gripping me by the shoulders, she pulled me back. "Thank you for never giving up. And I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

I had a laundry list of questions and an even longer list of follow-up questions. The most important one laid at the tip of my tongue, but it never reached her ears. As her eyes slid over to Wren, her face dropped. I could see wheels turn in her head. She looked back at me. She opened her mouth to say something but never did.

I looked back at Wren's averted eyes and wilted posture. I wanted someone to clue me in on the joke. The entire room went silent, but I knew my family had the same thought. After a few more seconds of timid glances, I got anxious.

"You two know each other?" I asked.

Wren broke into a shadowy laugh, barely catching my eye. He looked at the ceiling, then the floor, and finally, finding the courage, he looked at me. "She's an acquaintance of my family."

"Family..." I whispered. The way he drew out the word told me family meant his mother.

Doctor Simmons fiddled with her hair tie. She twisted and twisted and twisted until her finger turned blue. "Can I speak with you outside?" she asked him.

I imagined Wren as a kid stomping his feet to his room when he did something wrong. And much like now, he dashed to the door without so much of a nod. He was going to give her hell. She probably wanted to know why he hadn't contacted his mother, or why he was here with me.

Maybe she was disappointed that he was here with me. Would she tell his mother? But I'm sure his mother already knew about me. Wren looked shocked to see Doctor Simmons. Was she his mother?

Now I had even more questions.

Shae clapped their hands. "Well, that was awkward. How about—"

I didn't like this feeling. I darted to the door, ready to investigate further, but when I made it out to the hallway, they were already gone.

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Just type in "Smelling Roses" in Spotify.

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