Chapter Eighteen

Deeper down the block, the buildings curved to a close and created a nook. It must have been a break area but they cleaned it out for Wren's impromptu concert. The mural started here. The vibrant colors sprawled over the windows and climbed high up onto the buildings.

Colors radiated in the small area. Red, yellow, and green lights flickered on the concrete. They lined the corners and twinkled up above our heads. Flowers of every kind laid at our feet.

And there, right in the middle, stood Wren, his ukulele, and mic. He charmed the crowd with light conversation as Mr. Fisher and I muscled to the front.

"I want to thank S. Fisher for letting me play for you all tonight. He's one of my favorite artists, so I hope you continue to support him."

The crowd roared in appreciation, and with one glance my way, he started. It was a contrast from the first time I saw him play. He seemed bigger than he did now. Here, he felt more human.

I noticed little things he did. Like how he tapped his foot to stay in time or how he'd mumble to himself before he addressed the crowd. He had a habit of watching me while he performed. Like I was a spectacle among his spectators. Whenever I clapped or swayed to a melody, he'd smile.

His set was short. Only four songs in total. As he finished up, the crowd emptied out and he was all mine again.

"How'd you find him?" I ask when Mr. Fisher walked back to his exhibit.

"I'm pretty sure Shae found him the night you mentioned it. I mean, I thought I was persuasive. Shae's got me beat."

"What did they do?" Shae still found ways to help me. The mere mention of their name reminded me of the state of my family. I didn't want this trip to end. Not only was it actually fun, I didn't want to go back and greet my mother for the last time. If I could, I'd stay here forever.

"Ready for your surprise?" he asked.

"This wasn't my surprise?"

His fingers wrapped around mine and he stirred us to the nearest door. What else did he have planned? I didn't know it was possible for someone to care about me this much. Romance of any kind only existed in books. I was never desired or experienced the infamous high school first love people never got over. But he gave that to me. He wanted to give me everything I dreamed of, and I had no idea why.

He led me through a lobby and out the back doors. I saw large willow trees, evergreens, and birdhouses. A walkway that weaved down the grass guided our footsteps. It disappeared down a hill. The night sky was the only thing in front of us.

And just like that, we were in the park. This place was magical. Everything led to something else. I was enraptured, but he tugged me forward. As we cleared the top of the hill, I finally got to see what laid beyond the trees.

A lake settled at the bottom. It swayed into the night. More fairy lights circled the trees and shined onto the boats at the lake's side. Golden lights decorated the boats, and they emerged from the darkness and into the middle.

I pushed my glasses up for a clearer view and realized the golden lights were lanterns.

"The-the dress. Your outfit. It makes so much sense now." I touched the two French braids I'd done earlier on his request. He even recreated my hair.

"Come on. We're already late," he said.

People occupied almost every inch of the area. An elderly man met us at the last boat at the dock. When Wren and I were safely inside, he offered us two lanterns. Placing them in my lap, Wren paddled deeper into the water. And within seconds, the waiting crowd let their lanterns go.

"I can't believe you—"

A single lantern drifted into the sky before it was accompanied by another. Soon, there were hundreds. The dark, voided sky lit up with every floating lantern. They bobbed and weaved against each other until there was nothing but gold. I could see it reflected on my cheeks and how they danced against the water. There was no need for stars. We created our own.

I wanted to cry. It was so beautiful.

"Sorry, you couldn't write your wish," he said.

"You already made them all come true."

Just when I thought the night couldn't get better, he smiled. Together, we let the lanterns go and watched as they intermingled with the others. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of us. I'd spend the rest of my life thinking about this.

"How in the hell did you do this?"

He let out a tapered breath. "Well, I started researching right after you mentioned it."

"That early?!"

"You were so convinced I couldn't do it." He laughed at himself. He was so competitive. "I couldn't figure out the right time to do it, but when Shae found Mr. Fisher, he mentioned his art exhibit. He told me about this place, it just took a while to find enough people."

"You couldn't use your rock star status?"

"Yeah, not as much of a big deal here as back home. I had to make a post online for help. I sorta lied and said I would propose to you tonight, so I'm going to hand you a ring in a few minutes. You better not reject me."

We looked up. Lanterns filled the sky, but soon they'd all be gone.

"I have one more song I wanted to perform. It's the one I wrote for you."

His ukulele looked at home in his hands while the lanterns offered him a spotlight. I'd almost forgotten about his song. I was curious to hear what a love song about me sounded like, and he didn't keep me waiting.

The ukulele's tune was refreshing. His strumming was barely audible as he whistled to the melody. "I love the story of you. The beginning was filled with love and pain. The ending still remains, but the middle is where I come in."

He wouldn't even look at me. He gave all his attention to the drifting lanterns. I couldn't tell if he'd gotten shy or if his mind was somewhere else. All I could hear was Mr. Fisher's advice. After all these years, I still needed to hear them. To stop yielding. To take it all in.

"Where I was completely changed by you. I dreamed and faced my fears because of you. Stopped smoking because of you."

I laughed, sliding closer to him. Our knees touched. He offered me a glance and I nestled deeper in my seat. I held his eyes until he couldn't look away. He really made my dreams come true.

"I don't know where I would be without you and although I'm not sure, I hope I changed you too."

I leaned in closer. Our noses touched. His breath fanned over my skin as he sang to me.

"Because I'd love to be a part of the history of you." His final words. The last chord ballooned until it filled the open space. And our lips touched.

Shae used to say the worst kind of love was the love that crept in when you weren't paying attention. It always stayed with you, because you couldn't pinpoint when it started, but always remembered the moment it ended.

If I were to describe it, I'd say I was just like this lake. When not being used, it sat quietly and unchanged. And Wren was like a pebble thrown into its peaceful waters. A disturbance so beautiful, you had to see it twice. And I'd remember the beauty of the ripples long after they were gone. Waiting and hoping to feel them again.

"So, I'm guessing you liked it," he managed to say in between stolen kisses.

Wren wasn't by chance. He was the type of person you could never forget, and he needed to know how special he was.

"I need you to know how proud I am of you," I whispered. "Look around. You did this. Not because you're Wren Wade or some rockstar the town loves. No one here knows who you are, but you had the power to make this happen. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want, but you can't limit yourself. It's worth giving it a shot. Don't yield. Go straight for it. You don't know how much you can withstand until you go through it."

His eyes shined like crystals as his tears soaked into my skin. I wish I could read his mind. He said he was changed by me, and I hoped that was still true, even now. I knew I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. Maybe I had more faith in him than I should, but my faith was elusive. It didn't sprout for just anyone.

He nodded and said nothing more, but it was enough.

"Thank you," I rushed. I needed to think straight. If I thought this through, maybe I wouldn't blurt out something I couldn't take back. I could return to the person I was before him. Maybe I could tell myself this was a sham, because if this was real? If what I felt was real, then I was terrified for both of us.

"Seriously, thank you so much. Thank you for yesterday and being honest with me. You didn't have to tell me, but you did, and I want you to know that you're safe with me. All the things you're afraid of or give you trouble, you can tell me. I want to carry them with you. Because I—I love you."

I couldn't believe I said it. I didn't know anything about love, especially who I'd be when I was in it. Was I even good at it? All I knew about love was that it was the reason I'd given up so much of my life for other people. And if I could give up so much for love already, what was I willing to give up for him?

"I love you too," he whispered. The words ran to the back of this throat. He was just afraid of it as I was.

"You do?" I beamed.

He wiped away his tears and rifled through his pocket. I wanted him to say it again. Maybe I was hearing things, but I lost the nerve to ask when he pulled out a spool of red thread. "I didn't have enough for a ring."

"So...you got me string?" I asked.

He laughed, pulling my finger. His callous hand felt soft against my skin. The string draped over my finger and he wrapped it around. He tied it like shoelaces, making two loops on either side.

My breath hitched when he brought my finger to his lips. He slid the excess string into his mouth and pulled it with his teeth. "There's this folklore. If two people were destined to be together the Gods would tether them by a red thread. Like no matter how far they go, they'll always end up finding each other again."

Brushing my knuckles with the pads of his fingers, he leaned down and kissed my hand. I kissed him back.

I took the spool from his hands and wrapped the string around his finger. When I tied the knot, I leaned in. "Now, you're stuck with me."

The lanterns were all gone and the sky returned to black. As we made our way back to solid ground, couples congratulated us. The elderly complained we were too young, and others passed us by with little regard. I held his hand, but this time it felt different. He felt like mine and I felt like his. And I wanted us to stay like that for as long as I lived.

Our drive to the cabin was long, but when we got back, we hopped onto our haphazard bed. We sat across from one another, fascinated by each other's eyes. I could appreciate the way his mind worked. Had it worked like mine, this summer would've ended at that smelly house party.

A low hiss came from the air conditioner and I hunched in. He rose to the occasion, draping his vest over my shoulders. How long could we stay like this? Sitting cross-legged, fingers intertwined, with no words spoken. Somehow knowing we were on the same grid, immersed in the same memory.

I pushed myself up and hovered over his lips. Kissing felt like God's gift to man. His smile brushed against my lips as I clung to his dress shirt. With my elbows poked out, my neck went rigid. I was sure I looked as awkward as I felt and released my death grip. His hands fell to my waist the moment he was free.

Was that a good sign? Placing my hands on his shoulders, I deepened our kiss, but now my position felt too assertive like I was forcing him to kiss me.

I finally settled for his hair. There. Much better.

His hands glided up the middle of my back, but I felt his touch everywhere. He pushed me closer. My roguish hands fumbled with a button on his shirt and after a few attempts, I succeeded. The next one, I'd get on my first try.

"Hang on." He pulled away. "Are you sure?"

"Are you?"

"I asked you first."

I collapsed onto my knees. This already felt like a battle I wasn't prepared for, and he stopped me as soon as I learned how to use my weapon. "I've never been more sure about anything."

"Songbird, you're making me blush."

"Shut up." I whacked him in the chest. I wished I was someone capable enough to do this.

"Have you done this before?" he asked.

"It's that obvious?" I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Or better yet, just have someone take me out back and finish me off. We hadn't even started, and he could already tell I was underqualified.

"I just want to be sure," he said.

"Of what?"

"That you won't regret it being me."

He wanted my acceptance as much as I wanted his. I hadn't offered him the same consideration. Maybe I misread the signals and only thought of what I wanted. What he wanted was just as important. "I won't, I promise. Do you want to do this? It's okay to say no."

"Of course, I do," he said, holding out his pinky. "We gotta promise to say something if either of us has second thoughts."

With a confident nod, I locked my pinky with his. "Deal."

But when I tried to break away, he held on. "Stamp."

Pressing his thumb into mine, he pulled his hand away and faced my palm to the sky. "Sign."

With his index finger, he scribbled his name onto my hand and made me do the same. When I had, he slid his palm over mine. "Copy."

I hesitated, waiting for more, and he chuckled. "Da-Bin always does it. It feels more official."

"All done?"

"Yes, all done."

I launched forward but didn't make it to him. Somehow, I got tangled and the bed sheet took hold of my feet. The thick comforter tumbled to the ground. I tried to escape, but one miscalculated move landed me flat on my face.

"My foot's caught." I buried my head into the mattress.

"It's not a race, Nora." He laughed as he detangled me from the sheets. Turning me on my back, he hovered. "You do realize it takes two people to do this?"

"I just want to be useful."

"Trust me, you will be. But we can't do anything without this." He held the most important component in his hands. The damn condom. I felt like an idiot. It never crossed my mind.

"You gotta slow down." He dipped down and kissed me.

I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the night. If I were to sit down and think of all the ways one person could change my life, I wouldn't have thought of myself. I could find a thousand things to make my life better, but I never thought about how I could make myself better. Life seemed more manageable. And it wasn't. The same problems were still there. My situation, in retrospect, was going to get worse, but somehow knowing I didn't have to get worse too made me feel like I could do anything.

No one said I had to burn in case of a fire. How many memories had I missed because I thought they'd be mistakes?

But in awareness comes regret, because we often realize things too late. And just like summer, everything always came to an end.

My ringtone called me out of my sleep. Just shy of three in the morning, my dream suddenly faded, and the world materialized. My vision was useless, but I figured whoever was calling must've thought it was important. "Hello?"

"Nora?" It was Shae.

With his arm draped at my side, Wren stirred in his sleep. I propelled up. "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Something happened to Mom."

Shae hesitated, then exhaled a breath. They were crying, and I stopped breathing. "She woke up."

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