Chapter Ten

Nora's Point of View

Wren drove with the top down. The night air whistled past our ears and revitalized my skin. I pressed my dolphin into my chest and sank into the seat. Now that our fun was over, my anger wrestled for dominance. I wanted to go home. My father made a lot of noise, but we both knew it meant nothing. He couldn't run his business without me, much less look after my siblings. I was the reason he had time to chase his dreams. If he wanted to keep doing it, he needed me.

Wren cleared his throat. "It's pretty late. I'm sure Mrs. Davidson's already asleep. You can stay at my place tonight if you want."

"You still trying to get me over," I joked as his cheeks tinted red. "I'm not going to Mrs. Davidson's. I should go home."

He hesitated but then nodded. He didn't understand the way my father operated. My father needed to feel in complete control. If it meant saying something he didn't want, just to prove a point, he'd do it. When I got home, he'd pretend like nothing happened. He wouldn't apologize or acknowledge a thing. And life would go on. I didn't like it, but it was how he operated.

When Wren pulled up to the alleyway, he draped his arm over my seat. "Want me to stay for a bit? You know, just in case?"

I shook my head. I'd kept him away long enough. It was late, we smelled like outside, and I wanted to sleep for a thousand years. I'd have to get up in a few hours to prep food. Our night was over.

"Thank you for today," I said. I wanted to kiss him again, but I wasn't sure how he'd feel about it. Two times was enough, right? He kissed me. I kissed him. But when I wanted to kiss him, should I ask every time?

"You're welcome, Songbird. Thank you for the flowers."

Being with him felt like being on vacation. Every time I left him, I dreaded going back to my normal life. Yes, I wanted a break, but the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to keep breaking my promises. And that terrified me. Maybe that's why my father said all that stuff because he felt me pulling away. I wasn't supposed to. Staying was how I operated.

I threw myself out of the car. If I didn't leave now, I wasn't sure I ever would. Giving him a small wave, I ran up to the alley as his car engine roared. I neared the restaurant's front door and everything stopped.

My bags were packed and waited for me at the door. I laughed. My father was taking this too far. Sure, I said things I couldn't take back, but so had he. We could get past it. I wasn't leaving.

I pummeled through the doors like an escapee from hell. My raggedy suitcase rumbled at every step as I lugged my things up back to my room. I halted my crusade when I found my father standing guard at my bedroom door. He looked unchanged as if he'd never left the spot. Our argument rang in my ears like it was embedded in the walls.

He went rigid when I tried to get past him. "Who let you in?"

"I live here. I'm not allowed in my own house?" I forced him out of the way and tried the door. It wouldn't budge. "Why'd you lock my door?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, okay. People wondered why I was so mature. Because my father's a ten-year-old.

In the hallway was a painting of our mother. We kept our spare keys hidden behind it, but most days, I barely looked at it. It was too hard, but today I looked, hoping she'd give me strength. As I stared at her smiling face, only one thing crossed my mind: she'd be disappointed in us.

Jamming the key into the lock, I swung the door open and dropped my suitcases. My bright yellow walls were painted white. My board of inspiration was taken down and my books no longer had their place. He even took away my mattress. The only thing inside was my table, cluttered with packed boxes. Everything was gone. I was gone.

He really kicked me out. "You cleaned out my room?"

"We need the space."

"For what? So, I can never come back?" It was late, and my voice carried through the halls.

Stepping forward, he gritted his teeth. "You need to leave. Your siblings don't need to see you right now. They need to learn to live without your influence."

Live without my influence? Like I was some evil dictator. He just didn't want them to agree with me. As long as 95% of the house still thought he was right, that's all he cared about. "What does that even mean?"

"It'll be easier for you to live without their influence. And mine."

Who the hell said I was influenced by him? "Pfft, that's what you think? I'm just fumbling around, doing what everyone wants because I need you to feel whole? Like I haven't been doing that to you for years!"

"Who you think you talking to?"

He betrayed me. He needed me, and he was so prideful, he wouldn't allow himself to say it. "You've never thought of me as your daughter."

I said it so quietly I wasn't sure he heard, but he faltered, just a little before he turned back into stone. "You pride yo'self on how much love you give, but I know deep down you don't even like me."

I wanted to laugh. How could he say that to me? Was that how he truly felt? "So, we're even, huh?"

He had to be the smartest person in the room. Every conversation turned into an argument if you proved you weren't on his side. That's why I refused to be anything like him. His dreams were fulfilled, so he believed he found the cheat code to life. He believed he knew everything. I couldn't live with him anymore.

If he wanted me gone, I'd stay gone.

I turned my back to him and lugged my things down the stairs for the last time. He'll be calling me back in a week.

As I headed for the doors, I prayed Wren hadn't left. But my escape foiled when I found Shae waiting in a booth. I practically foamed at the mouth to tell them what our father had done. "Can you believe what Dad—"

"You wanna take Momma off life support." They stood up as if they were ready to go to war with me too. I'd had enough family drama for one night. Shae's accusation came out of nowhere.

"W-what?" It was all I could muster. I was fine with isolating my father, but that meant abandoning my siblings too.

"I heard what you said to him earlier," Shae said. "I get you blame him for everything, but you trying to punish Momma in the process."

"No, I'm not. That's not true."

"Then why? Why do you want to take her off life support?"

We had disagreements, but never this big before. I didn't want to leave until they saw where I was coming from. I needed someone to understand me. "Because...she's already dead, Shae."

"You think Mommy's dead?" Nadia's voice sprung out as she and Zacari charged out from the kitchen. Does no one sleep around here?

I was in a boxing ring and every time I thought the fight was over, another opponent came. I couldn't handle every member of my family coming at me like this. Nadia cried. Zacari looked like he wanted to punch me, and I still hadn't convinced Shae I wasn't punishing our mother. I wanted to take it all back. I'd do anything to put it all back into place. "No, that's not—"

"But you just said she's dead," Nadia wailed. "I thought she was just sleeping. Daddy said if we pray really hard, she'll wake up, but you don't think that?"

"You want to kill Mom!" Zacari shouted. It felt like someone lodged a knife in the throat and with one statement, he forced it deeper.

"It's not like that," I pleaded. Could no one see my point of view at all? "She's barely alive right now."

Zacari slumped into the wall. "But I thought we was waiting."

"We are." Shae sunk into their seat, cradling their head in their hands.

Why were we waiting? Because our father wanted us to. He had them so convinced waiting would work. "Just because Dad says she'll wake up, doesn't mean she will. We need to be realistic. She's already been through so much. There's a possibility that she won't wake up."

"Okay. I get what you saying, but do you, yourself, believe she won't wake up?" Shae asked.

"It doesn't matter."

Throwing his hands into the air, Zacari expired, "Now, I see why he kicked you out."

"If you want to take her off life support, then it does matter." Shae stood up, somehow finding the nerve to look me in the eyes. I hated it. None of them were thinking about our mother. Why was I the only one?

"I don't want to keep her hooked up to a machine for no reason!" I shouted. "At least if we take her off life support, she can pass and be at peace, but if we just keep her here, she's not doing anything. She's neither dead nor alive. She's just there and that sounds like hell."

The room fell silent. I could hear my voice echo off the walls, and I shivered. I hated hearing myself upset. When Shae's hardened stare collapsed, I took a breath. I was finally getting through to someone. But it was Zacari who proved I was still on my own. "So, just because you have no life, you don't want Mom to have one either."

"Zacari," Shae warned.

Wow. "You know what? Forget I said anything. Majority rules, right? At least with me moving out, you won't have to worry about my negativity ruining everything."

I stalked to the door as the three of them shouted over one another. I was being unreasonable, dramatic, taking things too far. They were still blaming me.

When I finally made it outside, Shae barged out the doors. "Nora, don't leave."

I wavered. I could turn back around, apologize, and pretend like nothing happened. I didn't mess up often, they'd go forgive me. We'd move on and nothing would change. Hope would still take priority, and waiting would be customary. My father was making mini versions of himself, and I couldn't sit and watch it happen. I'd rather they hate me for screaming than love me for being silent.

So, I walked. I heard them bustle out, one by one. They shouted for me to turn around, but I didn't. I needed to find a way to get to Mrs. Davidson's. I wasn't sure if she believed my father, either. She probably wasn't expecting me. But when I thought I was alone, a stripe of red appeared at the foot of the alley. Moonlight shined on the top of Wren's head. He leaned against his mustang. Like the romantic lead in an 80s film, he looked as if he had no care in the world. When he heard my rumbling suitcase, his head snapped up, and he waved.

He didn't leave.

The moment my pitiful suitcases hit the sidewalk, he pulled them out of my hands into his trunk. The quiet street and silence between us made me self-aware. I couldn't make up my mind. The distance between me and my family made me feel sick. The city felt worlds away.

It took him forty-five minutes to reach Mrs. Davidson's neighborhood. Nestled in the heart of the city, the houses that refused to be pushed out or redone had a new resident. Wren pulled up to the two-story home. Her house was sandwiched between two others. The brick structure looked faded and plants hung over her porch. A wobbly staircase led up to her screen door, but it hung off the hinges. She hadn't taken down her Christmas lights, and they shined in an array of colors.

As Wren and I made our way to the door, he smiled. "I live in a few blocks over. Maybe you could stop by sometime. Val and Da-Bin live right across the hall."

I almost asked if I could live with him. If I was going to be on my own, it'd be nice if I could enjoy it. But I'd much rather be at home with my family.

Knocking on Mrs. Davidson's door, I prayed she hadn't gone to bed yet.

"Just a minute," she shouted. I heard her slippers drag across the door. A few seconds later, she unlatched a thousand locks and opened the door. Dressed in her baby blue robe with her pink rollers in her hair, she covered herself. "Nora, you didn't say you were bringing a man with you. I look crazy."

"Hello again, Mrs. Davidson," Wren smiled, and she pursed her lips.

"Oh, you that lil boy who asked her to move in." She yanked me inside, waving her crane his way. "You fast lil boys."

Wren raised his hands as we followed her inside. Everything was exactly the same. The kitchen was still small, piled with clean dishes on the counter. The furniture had a permanent smell of beef stew. In the living room, her sofas had plastic covers and her big back television still worked.

The stairs squeaked when we walked up. It was tight, hot, and I could barely breathe. Upstairs, I took a deep breath. Ah, cornstarch. We passed her room to the last door at the end. Her husband's room was now my room. I gave up my very own room for a dead man's bed.

"I change the sheets." She said it like it was an improvement. A huge picture of Luther Vandross hung on the wall. The room still smelled like her late husband, and it had been years. If I opened the closet and his clothes were still there, I was moving in with Wren.

I swung the doors open, but it was empty. Damn it. I don't want to be here. I hate it here.

"Look. Got your own TV. It's got the...antenna and everything." Wren flicked on the television as reruns of The George Lopez Show aired. It made me think of my siblings. How we'd sneak into Shae's room when we were younger to stay up and watch it. We'd do anything to not go to sleep. We just wanted to hang out with each other. It was the best thing about having a big family. You always had someone to talk to.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I just...wanna be alone."

Mrs. Davidson pulled me into a hug. "Alright, baby. I'mma get yo Daddy for treating you like this. He so damn prideful." See? I wasn't the only one.

She turned to Wren and pulled him by the ear. "Come on here, boy."

"Wait." I latched onto his hand. "Can I say goodbye to him first?"

She let him go, but didn't leave. I tried to find the right words, but I didn't know what to say. It was especially hard with an unwanted audience. As I fumbled with my hands, Wren took my phone and put someone's number in.

"It's Val's," he said. "Just in case you want a fresh set of ears. She's good at this stuff. Went through something similar."

"Thanks."

"I'll...call you tomorrow?" he asked, but when I didn't answer, he corrected himself. "In a couple of days?"

"Okay."

A couple of days. It was enough time for my father to change his mind. It was enough time for him to get bogged down with work and want me back. In a couple of days, one of my siblings would call me for something. Zacari may need help with a math problem, Nadia may want to try a tarot card reading, or Shae might want to show me one of their new designs. My family couldn't go too long without me.

But a couple of days turned into a week, and a week turned into two. When I neared the third, I surprised myself by how long I could wait.

It took me almost three weeks to realize they weren't going to call. If someone told me they had cut me out of all the family photos, I would've believed them. It was as if I didn't exist. I didn't just leave home; I'd left the planet.

I lived in bed, only coming out to shower and eat when my hunger made me shake. The life behind the back of my eyes was the only life worthy of my attention. I could hear Mrs. Davidson's concerned phone calls to my father. He knew I wasn't doing well, and he didn't care. And I hated he knew. Mrs. Davidson was so worried about me, she put a hold on her classes. She wasn't even a distant family member, and she worried more about me than they did. Wren called more than any of them put together. I didn't even have the energy to talk to him most days.

I was just so tired. I didn't know it was possible to sleep so much. It was only a few weeks, but it felt like years. My life stopped. I felt dead inside, and I had no idea how to not be.

But finally, after weeks of staying inside, Mrs. Davidson left. She would be out for the day, and I realized it was the worst thing she could've ever done.

The moment the locks engaged, the entire house went silent. It felt like my skin broke out in hives. I wanted to scream. I wanted to make the pain stop. Bile rose from my stomach and for the first time in weeks, I actually scared myself.

I needed someone, and Wren wasn't answering. I guess I was getting a taste of my own medicine. I'd been dodging his calls all week. There wasn't anyone other than my family I could go to. I almost considered dialing Shae, but they were hurt. It felt wrong to force them to deal with my pain when I'd caused them so much.

I scrolled through my contacts, and Valentina's name popped up. I didn't think twice. "Hey, Valentina. It's...uh, I don't know if you remember me but—"

"Nora. Of course, I remember you."

Wren said Valentina lived in the same apartment complex as him. It was a short walk. "Can I come over?"

"Absolutely."

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