Chapter 19: Midterms (Part 1)

Ryan

Ryan had his hand on the doorknob when Sam asked, "You have your phone charger?"

"Yes," Ryan said.

Sam squinted at the duffel bag slung on his shoulder. "Did you bring your textbooks, just in case?"

He patted the bag. "And my laptop." He twisted the knob and looked back at her. "Okay, I'll see you Sunday night."

"What about snacks?" Sam asked. She half-turned toward the kitchen cabinets. "You should bring some granola bars or something."

"I'll text you when I get there," Ryan said firmly before leaving. He didn't tell her he already had a whole box of granola bars in his bag that Jordan had put there.

At the bottom of the three flights of stairs, Ryan's phone buzzed. The text was from Marina: Don't know if you left yet but remember to stand your ground – she had inserted a raised fist emoji – and take no bullshit – a poop emoji – and have fun! She ended with both a confetti emoji and an eggplant emoji.

He didn't respond to the text, just shook his head and headed to his car. He had seen a lot more of Marina over the past week than he could have thought possible, because she and Pete had somehow hit it off.

Before he could head to New York, Ryan had to sweep a layer of autumn leaves off his car. Then he opened up Google Maps and headed out.

Jacky

"You're a fucking slob," Jacky complained, kicking a pile of clothes over to Billy's side of the room.

Seated in front of a diva mirror at his desk, Billy didn't look away from the glittery eyeshadow he was applying. "At least my side of the room doesn't smell like feet."

"I'm going to do laundry," Jacky snapped back. "But would it kill you to pick up some stuff? It's going to be crowded with an extra person in here for two days."

Billy breathed out a laugh. "Like I'm planning on sleeping here."

"Really? You're going to do that to Braedyn?"

Now Billy turned, his eyebrows sky-high.

Jacky couldn't help but smirk a little. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"He's still in the closet, honey."

"He might come out if you ask nicely."

At that, Billy shrugged and returned to his mirror. Jacky pulled out his rolling laundry basket and started piling all the clothes on his side of the room into the basket. Once he'd finished that, he yanked the sheets off his bed and added those. The basket was barely big enough. He headed for the door.

"While we're talking about communication..." Billy trailed off until he knew Jacky had stopped. "When are you going to tell your boyfriend about what you and the boy next door did?"

Ryan

He had about an hour to go when a call from Monica interrupted Journey's Greatest Hits. He hit answer. "Hey, what's up?"

"Not much, I decided to have a movie night tomorrow with Matt and thought you might want to come."

Ryan suddenly wished he wasn't doing what he was doing. He hadn't heard much from Matt, and he was worried. "I can't, I'm heading to New York right now."

"Ooh, New York City?"

"No, Syracuse." He waited for Monica to understand. When the silence stretched on too long, he added, "To see Jacky."

"Oh! I forgot that's what school he decided on. For some reason I thought you were going to a football game or something." She paused. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think we need to be together in person."

"Weren't you just together in person?"

"Yeah..."

"And it couldn't wait until Thanksgiving break?"

Ryan sighed. "It was just a lot when he came out to see me. We didn't have a lot of alone time, and I was also just surprised and I had to deal with Charlie and... I wasn't ready."

"I get that. Well, that's too bad that you can't come tonight, but maybe better? I think I need to have a good talk with Matt and if you were there he'd say it's a party and use that as an excuse to drink. Which is what I want to talk to him about."

"I probably should have reached out more," Ryan said. "I could tell he was having a problem."

"No, don't put that on yourself! College is supposed to be a time when you can start over and make new friends. Besides, you can't protect everyone."

Something about how she said that got him thinking long after they'd hung up. Charlie had said Ryan wanted to fix everyone, but Monica saw it as Ryan wanting to protect them. That was different. He wasn't trying to change them, just make their lives better. That fit with what Jacky had said: You can't regrow my arm. All Ryan wanted was to keep some of the awful people in the world from making Jacky's life worse.

As he navigated the exit to Syracuse, he started feeling a whole lot better about all of it.

Jacky

Pacing the laundry room. Checking his phone and pacing and occasionally yanking at his hair. God, he was a fucking idiot. He'd made the grand gesture and he was trying to communicate with Ryan and all of that work was going to crumble in an instant as soon as he told Ryan.

"We were on a break," he told himself.

A voice from the corner said, "Okay, Ross," and Jacky shrieked.

"Fox? What the fuck?" Jacky shouted, a small part of him pleased that his voice had dropped back to its normal octave.

Fox unfolded himself from a nest of blankets beside the far dryers. "I can explain." He did not immediately start explaining. He stood, his knees cracking, and stretched his arms to the ceiling. Then he rooted around in the blankets for his laptop.

Waving his arm, Jacky said, "I'm waiting?"

"It's not that exciting. I fell asleep and woke up to you muttering to yourself." Fox set the laptop on one of the empty washers, then hopped up. "What's got you all in a tizzy?"

Jacky did not appreciate his dilemma being called a tizzy. "None of your business."

"Cool." Fox nodded, then put on his headphones. "Well, back to the Great American Novel."

"I know you write fanfiction, remember?"

"Ah, well. Sometimes it's nice to pretend."

Jacky was ready to leave him to it, but something about the nest of blankets made him pause. "Are you living down here?"

"Pardon?" Fox said this with his teeth clenched around a Holmesian pipe.

"Fuck, it's true," Jacky whispered, remembering that conversation with Billy, Braedyn, and Liliana. He shook his head slightly. "Do you live here, in the laundry room?"

"Of course not! I have a perfectly respectable house that I live in, with my father and his teenage mistress."

Jacky blinked. "What now?"

"Oh yes! I wouldn't call her stepmother material, as she's only a year older than I am, but they certainly do get loud each and every night!" Fox scowled around the pipe.

"Shit," Jacky said. "Yeah, I'd probably sleep here too, in that case."

"It is quieter," Fox agreed.

"Can't you report it to administration? If she's a student, that's illegal. Right?"

"I mean, if I would like to be actually homeless, I could do that."

"Oh. Right."

Now that things were thoroughly awkward, Jacky hopped up on a washer to wait for his laundry. He should have brought a book. As he pulled out his phone to see about downloading an ebook or something, he remembered why he'd been freaking out.

As if reading Jacky's mind, Fox said, "Well, I've aired my metaphorical dirty laundry. What did you do whilst on a break with... is this a new boyfriend, or an ex?"