chapter 39

           Vanya's POVYesterday, I told him about the divorce. He first thought that I was joking with him then I made him clear that I am serious and I want divorce. I told him that I will not be able to give him any reasons. He didn't say anything just went from there. I sat there crying as I did a big sin, I broke a pure heart, pure soul like him. I deserve punishment and what's biggest then going far, very far from him. I sat there for atleast some time and took my medicine first. I started searching for him in whole house. He was not there. I was afraid and suddenly I remembered I didn't look at terrace. I went there and saw him sleeping holding something. Its his phone and he slept looking at the wallpaper which was my pic. IT BROKE MY HEART TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. I looked at the moon, same moon which once comforted us, we would look at it together by holding hands. Most of the time he would look at me and I would ignore him. This moon is the symbol of our untold love and now incomplete love. It was cold outside and this man is very sensitive to cold. So I brought a blanket and covered him with it. After seeing him for last time, I went and slept. Next morning, I made breakfast for us but he didn't came down, so I thought of calling him, but then he came down and came near me. He told me that we will be going to lawyer's office at the evening and straightaway went to office without having breakfast and tea. I felt bad but what can I do the reason behind his sadness is me. I had tea and little breakfast as I had to take medicines. Only to take medicines, I am having food. When will I be completely cured? I don't know so I don't want to be a burden on him. I am having a tumour on my brain.. Flashback when doctor came..... Vanya :" Doctor, everything is ok na and my reports are normal na? "Doctor : "Sorry, to inform you but your body reports are normal. But your brain has a tumour on it. It can grow with time and may lead to cancer if proper treatment and care is not taken. It may take more time to cure as your tumour is big."Vanya :" Is there any cure for it. I will do anything to make it right". Doctor:" It needs many sessions and it may take years and it will be much better if your treatment is done in nature's place or the place you love. Because sometimes our only treatment is nature and love." Vanya : "Then this tumour will completely disappear?" Doctor : "We can't assure you that, it depends on the size of tumour . It may also remain for the lifetime"Vanya :"What? Lifetime. I want to cure it as early as possible. Suggest me the best neurosurgeon. "Doctor : "We had a very good neurosurgeon but he had recently shifted to Kerala. And in your case, I would recommend him only for your treatment. If you are ready for going there then I will inform everything about your reports to him in advance so he may start your treatment soon."Vanya : "Ok, doctor will take the decision soon". .............. So I decided to not be a burden on him. The tumour can stay for lifetime also. Divorce is the best solution. After divorce, I will go to Kerala for treatment. I will put our case on fast track. I had called and informed doctor that I am ready for treatment. Mayur didn't have breakfast here and I know he will not have lunch also. So I called John uncle, who works there and my husband treats him like his own uncle and he always listens to him. I told uncle that Mayur has not eaten anything since morning, he assured me that he will make him eat. After half an hour, uncle messaged me that Mayur had lunch and I said Thank you. Then I also had my lunch and ate medicines. Then I got a message from Mayur, I received a message from him I was so happy, but the message was that today we are not going to lawyers office, we will go tomorrow and I replied ok. It's 6 pm now, I had my tea and was waiting for Mayur to come. It's 7 pm now, he didn't came till now. I thought of calling John uncle, but he may have reached home till now. So I decided to wait, for him it's 9 pm and he is not here yet. I started getting afraid as I was alone, so to distract myself I cooked dinner for us. After cooking dinner, I saw the time its 10 pm and I know he is avoiding me. So I called him,... "The number you are calling is switched off. Please try again later"... I got this response. I called him at least 10 times. I was worried for him and started panicking. I panic when I am afraid and I get nightmares. My cell phone ringed that time and it was call from Mayur. I asked him where he is and when he will come home. He said he will come soon and disconnected my call. I deserve this side of him, angry, rude, mean. When I will deserve love? Or will I  always receive hate? I started crying as these thoughts occupied my mind. Suddenly, door bell rang and I wiped my face and washed it. I opened the door, it was Mayur. He once looked at me and straightaway went to his room without looking back. I thought he will come to have dinner after freshening up. So I waited for him in the dining table.He didn't come so I thought of calling him. I know he will not have dinner and will be sleeping. I went inside room and my guess was correct, he was going to sleep, so I told him that be angry with me but never take your angriness on food. Food has done nothing wrong with you.... So he agreed with me and told that he will come. I went happily and served food for both of us. He came and sat on the table, started eating food quickly and not even once looked at me.... After he finished eating he washed his hand and straightaway went to room. He took a blanket and a pilow from there and went to another room to slept. He even locked the door. I didn't like to eat much, so I had little. Cleaned all plates and cleaned kitchen. Locked the doors and all windows. This job was of Mayur's. Then I went to my room for sleep. I ate medicines and slept.. I woke up due to a bad nightmare, I saw the time it was 2 am now. I remember once I had a nightmare, Mayur also woke up with me and he had consoled me. FLASHBACK... Mayur : "It's only a bad nightmare, Vanya. See nothing happened to me and I am alright. Just look at me Vanya, don't be afraid. I will always be there for you, don't worry, go to sleep."Vanya : "No Mayur, I am afraid. This nightmares have made me worst. I don't get sleep because of this, that's why I sometimes take sleeping pills."Mayur : "Never take sleeping pills, its harmful for your health. Sleep, nothing will happen. I will sing a song for you". ... Tere dil ka mere dil seRishta purana haiIn aankhon se har aansooMujhko churana haiMujhko churana hai..Mujhko churana hai... Teri bechaini ka, teri tanhayi kaEhsaas hai mujhko sun..Main jo saath tere hoonPhir tujhe hai kaisa ghamDard baant lenge hum sun..Listening to his song, I got sleep. He held me tight and I slept in his chest that day. ....... I remember I had silently recorded his voice in my mobile. Where is my mobile? It's in the table, let me play it and I feel a sense of comfort and I slept listening to his voice. He sang that full song... ........ ................................................... Till then keep reading. KEEP SMILING AND BE HAPPY😊