7 | a nightmare

"leilani fucking rose," jacob smirked as he sat in the chair next to mine. "long time no see."

i was so shocked, i couldn't even speak. i haven't seen him in YEARS. from the time i've been back in hawaii, i've somehow managed to avoid his ass.

so why soon as billie leaves, i see him????

he set another drink down on the table before asking "this seat taken?" as he rose his eyebrows with a smirk, finding humor in my reaction.

"yeah," i lied, snapping back to reality. "it is."

he squinted. "by who?"

"casper," i said.

he rolled his eyes. "still a smart ass, i see."

"jacob," i sat up in my chair. "there's so many chairs around here. why are you sitting there?"

"when i pulled up, i recognized your jeep," he shrugged. "i just thought we could catch up."

"i'm good," i fake grinned.

he noticed the ring on my finger and rose his eyebrows. "so you guys really got married huh? that wasn't a big publicity stunt?"

"no," i blinked. "i don't do all that shit."

"so you two are serious?"

i squinted. "yes, very serious. yes."

"so you aren't looking for anybod-"

"jacob cmon," i shook my head. "leave me alone."

"well i mean i bought you a drink," he gestured to one of the smoothies on the table. "you could give me some time of day."

i squinted at the glass. "did you poison it?"

"right like riley would let me get away with that," he scoffed.

i just looked at him.

"it's a sunrise sunset," he smiled. "your favorite."

i looked at it then back at him. "im good."

"hmph," he started. "are you really still thankless?"

"are you really still a rapist?" i rose my eyebrows.

his entire facial expression dropped. "i did not fucking rape you," he said sternly.

"in the 3 years we were together," i started. "i can't count on two hands, how many times i actually consented to having sex with you," i said sternly as well.

"who's fault is that leilani?" he rose his eyebrows.

i just huffed. "you're such a dick."

"what are you gonna do about it?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "call the police on me?"

"i could," i shrugged.

"and tell them what lei?" he tilted his head. "my ex boyfriend raped me for 3 straight years and i stayed with him?"

at this point, i was fighting tears. and he could see that.

"oh give me a fucking break," he chuckled.

i still couldn't say anything.

"billie isn't here to save you now huh?" he rose his eyebrows, chuckling.

i quickly grabbed the cold smoothie, took the top off, and threw it in his face.

he was so shocked that he kinda froze. i then grabbed the other smoothie from his hand and dumped that one on his head.

"you bitch!" he exclaimed.

i then reached in my tote and pulled out my handy dandy pocket knife.

remember the last incident with my pocket knife? :)

i quickly got up and got on top of him, but like not touching him. so straddling but i'm not completely sitting.

i aggressively rubbed my hand across his face, wiping some of the smoothie off his eyes so he could be able to see me.

"look at me," i said, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him closer to me. "look at me!"

his eyes were now wide as he was scared and didn't know what to do.

"you see this?" i asked, looking at the pocket knife in my hand. "i'll get you hard and then cut your dick off."

he was panting, in panic. not able to say anything. he was scared shitless.

"i promise i'm not the bitch i used to be, do not fuck with me."

i let go of his collar, slamming him back to the chair.

i got off of him, dusted myself off, and grabbed my tote bag.

"oh and it's leilani rose o'connell now," i looked at him. "approach me correctly next time," i said before walking off.

i put my sunglasses on and walked off the beach with a grin on my face.

that felt good tbh, i needed that.

-

- hours later into the night -

"hi baby," i smiled as i answered billie's facetime call.

"hi sweet girl," she smiled. "what are you doing?"

"trying to see if i wanna just eat a salad for dinner or do i feel like cooking steak," i said as i walked to my kitchen.

"you should do the steak," billie nodded.

"im sorry did the vegan just say that?" i rose my eyebrows.

she laughed. "i know you love steak," she said. "plus you're probably about to eat a lot of salads when you get to new york so eat the steak now while you can."

"true true," i nodded. "where's zoe?"

"right here," zoe put her head in the camera with a smile. "hey lani."

"hey zoe," i waved with a giggle. "you gotta make sure billie don't do no dumb shit while you guys are gone."

"lei i can only stop so much," she chuckled. "but i'll do my best."

"well i'll beat both of y'all up so you better do all you can," i rose my eyebrows.

"wow that's hot," zoe said.

"give me my phone," billie laughed. "go away."

i laid my phone on and got the steak and everything out to get ready to prepare and cook. i sat the phone up on the counter while i started cooking.

billie had set her phone up on the table while she was writing shit down in her journal.

"you writing?" i rose my eyebrows.

"um just little pieces of anything i can think of," she said.

"need some inspo?" i asked.

"what, are you gonna inspire me?"

"yeah i can give you a little show right now," i joked.

"you need to be watching that steak on the stove," she laughed. "that's what you need to do."

"okay your loss," i playfully shrugged.

"i'm probably about to go to bed my love," billie told me. "you wanna stay on the phone?"

"yes please," i nodded. "i'll just mute you so i don't wake you with any noise."

"okay mama," she told me before yawning. "i love you."

"i love you too baby," i blew her a kiss. "good night."

"night night."

she went and laid down, soon going to sleep. meanwhile, i continued to cook my steak and sat on the table to eat it once it was done.

via lani's insta story. ^

i put my dishes in the sink and went to my room and in bed where i read a book until i drifted to sleep.

-

i was awoken by the sound a loud thud. frightened, i looked outside my window to see that there was a white truck in my driveway.

i checked my phone for the time and it was 2am.

i had a tank top on with pajama shorts but i put a hoodie on to go see who the fuck was there.

as i got closer to my front door, i heard another thud. i grabbed a knife from the kitchen and stood by the front door, trying to listen for anything.

"lani!" i heard someone yell as if they were in distress.

what???

i opened the door to find jacob laid out on my doorstep.

"jacob?!" my eyes got wide. "the fuck?"

"lani," he looked at me.

"oh my god are you drunk?" i furrowed my eyebrows in disgust.

"lani please."

"ew jake go away!"

"no lani pl-"

then his eyes got wide.

"oh no," i shook my head. "go out there-"

then he just ran past me, coming inside my house and running to the nearest bathroom. i could hear him throwing up.

"ugh fuck!" i said as i closed my front door and walked to where he was.

he flushed the toilet and was now leaving over the sink, holding himself up.

"i'm glad you still know your way around my home," i crossed my arms.

"lani," he cleared his throat as he walked up to me.

"please don't step near me with that vomit breath," i put my hand up to stop him. "there's a whole bottle of mouthwash right there. do something with it," i rolled my eyes as i walked away.

i sighed and went to my bedroom where i went and hung up the phone with my sleeping billie. i then texted margie.

'call me when you wake up please.'

jacob then walked in my bedroom.

"don't," i shook my head. "what the hell are you doing here?"

"i um- i came to apologize," he said.

i rose my eyebrows in shock.

in my entirety of knowing this man, i have never heard him apologize for anything to anyone, ever. i honestly didn't believe him.

"i'm sorry," he nodded. "for everything."

i just looked at him.

"for being rude to you today."

"for treating you like shit during and after our relationship."

i tilted my head. "and what else?"

he sighed.

"say it."

"lei-"

"say it," i said sternly.

"i'm sorry for raping you," he said. "i am truly sorry and i feel like shit about it all. which is why i got drunk," he explained. "i didn't know what else to do with myself."

i just looked at him still.

"you are one of the strongest girls i've met," jacob continued. "you're so beautiful. you're perfect."

"where are you going with this?" i furrowed my eyebrows.

"i wanna be in your life lani," he said.

"in my life how?" looking at him like he's crazy.

"i don't know," he shrugged. "best friend, boyfriend-"

"okay do you not remember seeing the ring on my finger?" i asked him. "i'm good. i'm not interested in having you in my life."

"lani-"

"i appreciate the apology though," i said as i stood up from my bed and walked towards him. "but get out."

"lei i can't drive," he shook his head. "cmon."

"you got here right?" i shrugged.

"and you heard me hit your mailbox right?" he rose his eyebrows.

"my mai- what?!" i exclaimed as i rushed past him and went to look outside.

and of course, my mailbox was hit. i'm assuming that was the loud noise that woke me up to begin with.

i just sighed and walked back in.

"i'm sorry leilani-"

"shut up!" i snapped. "just shut the fuck up, please."

i groaned and walked to the back closet for extra sheets.

"you treat me like shit for years and then come in here apologizing begging to stay here," i started, ranting. "and because i'm a good fucking person, i'm gonna let you."

"thanks," he said nervously.

i threw the bed sheets at him. "you will not sleep in the guest room. you will stay your ass out here on the couch. don't come in my room. don't come near me anymore at all."

"okay," he nodded, being genuine. "thanks lani."

i just looked at him and turned around and walked away.

i went to my bedroom and closed the door. i laid down but i honestly couldn't fall back asleep. i was too paranoid.

i started getting flashbacks.

"lani just do it."

"cmon, it'll only be a second."

"give me what i want."

i could feel myself start to freak out internally again. i quickly got up and locked my bedroom door.

god, why did i let him stay?

-

i eventually fell asleep but still did not get that much sleep because my phone started ringing.

"hello?" i said in the groggiest way.

"hey you okay? i just woke up and saw your text," margie said.

i checked the time and it was now 8am.

"um," i got out of bed and went to go look out of my window. jacob's truck was gone. "never mind."

"you sure? it was 2am. what was wrong?"

"um i just had a nightmare," i told her. "it's cool."

"okay well are we still going running today?" she asked.

"oh right," i sighed. "what time?"

"in like an hour," marg said.

"im really tired. can we do it another time-"

"no," she said before hanging up.

well damn.

i walked out of my bedroom and into the living room. the sheets i gave jacob were folded neatly and left on the arm on the couch.

i then noticed there was a note card on the counter.

it read: 'check the fridge.'

i furrowed my eyebrows and opened the fridge. there was an uber eats bag in there. i pulled the bag out and opened it.

it was an açaí bowl from one of my favorite places here.

there was also a card inside the bag that read:

'i still remember :) .. thanks for everything.

i never deserved you,

- jacob'

i set the card down in shock.

and a tear fell from my eye.