As another sleepless night has embraced me, there was anticipation followed by unfamiliar calmness mixed with relief when seeing her sitting figure observing the night sky.
Walking towards her, she spoke without averting her attention from the visible stars. "I suppose we are doomed to share this spot from now on," her tone was flat, but delicate touch of amusement and sarcasmâanother thing I was yet to understandâhas slipped through.
"Doomed?" I clicked my tongue and approached her side. "Well then," I looked at the shining stars fighting their way through the roaming clouds. "For once in my life, I might not hate the word."
She looked at me, feeling her stare I turned to face her. Again, she was trying to read me, but what could she possibly get from the mind that held worries truly out of this world. Her well-groomed eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly.
"You know," she began with usual calmness, yet there was irritation in her voice. "Sometimes I'm not sure what to make of your words..." she grumbled, was she annoyed?
"Should I not speak? If my presence bothers you then I can find another spot." Oddly enough my heart has let itself known, a tiny ache that pained me more than admin's sharp slap.
"Whaâ No! That's not what I meant, I..." she seemed conflictedâwhat an odd human behavior.
Suddenly with a groan, she moved her wheelchair around. "Please do stay, I enjoy your company." The innocence and vulnerability in the way she whispered those words was what caused my cheeks to grow with the heat that hasn't been a part of my life until now.
Not dwelling further into the topic, I approached her once more. "Can I?" I asked for permission to push her wheelchair. Receiving a nod and confused expression as a response I went ahead and pushed her up the hill.
At times when the sleep hasn't come, I could hear her whispers and wishes spoken out loud, as I found myself searching for her voice even when not by her side. One of them being, how she wished she could simply walk up the steep ground, but it was too much for her to do on her own.
This was the highest point of the hill, with no benches or a view of the city in front, however, it had something betterâthe sky.
"Wow..." she uttered, her eyes captivated by the spacious and clear sight, that wasn't blocked by the trees or streetlights. Tracing the corner of my lips, I was smiling softly. My mouth parted at the realization as I glanced at the woman whose head reached up to my chest while in the chair. My heart acting on its own, this human was doing something without the slightest clue.
It terrified me. This right now, as she finally turned to face meâher light brown irises shining in the moonlightâmight have been when a fear grew inside my heart.
"Are you okay?" her smile quickly swapped by concern.
Exhaling, mind occupied by the choices I was about to make in the time to come, knowing how badly it was to affect my friend. Regret entering my mind, I shouldn't have taken her down here... Nor should I ever stand on the Earth's ground.
"Yes," I lied.
She wished to ask, I knew she did but appreciated the fact she hasn't. Instead, swiftly moved closer, the wheels with difficulty pushing through the damp soil, until stopping in front of my shoes.
Taking off the glove her hand indicated for me to bend down. Doing as told our faces closer than ever before, she reached out, her hands beginning to correct the scarf that I had no idea had loosened to the point of nearly sliding off.
She smiled at me.
My breath was taken away as my insides melted under the spell she must have cast the first night we've met.
"Thereâ you need to take care of yourself sweet girl. Wouldn't want you to feel sick from our little night strolls."
My mind went blank.
Clearing my throat, I straightened up and mumbled, "I'm far from being sweet."
A chuckle that rang in my ears like a perfectly tuned melodic sound, has left her delicate lips.
"You are sweet to me, or am I mistaken?"
Frowning at the question I felt helpless in her presence.
"You..." I quickly looked at her and then back at the sky. "You are not."
"Oh, stop itâ or I just might think you are also being adorable," she teased and if the smoke could leave my ears, then now was the time.
Giving her a displeased look I remained silent, unsure of how to answer. However, the woman laughed not bothered at all, and somehow, I liked that look on her. Whatever was the reason behind her sleepless nights, these meetups have quickly became the only time we could both forget about our responsibilities and struggles our distinctively different lives have set upon us. Instead, enjoying the night's peacefulness in the presence of another person. There was no loneliness when I stood at her side.
Tonight, I thought of something weird, as the sadness at the possibility of going back, has suddenly become overwhelmingly present. All because of her. For a moment I wished to remain in the simplicity of this life, by her side, protecting this breathtaking smile.
"It might sound silly, but it was a little wish of mine to come here and watch the sky. Not sure how you knew that, but thank you Elina."
Don't thank me. Please hate me instead so I can forget about you and never second-guess anything. But how could she hate me when I had no willpower to refuse her, acting with the kindness that I thought was long buried under the deaths and screams of people I've wronged.
Finding myself caressing her red cheek she looked up at me surprised, but not offended. It's like we both searched for a way to initiate any physical contact without making it obvious.
"You look cold, let me walk you back?" I offered without thinking once of what I just asked.
Her lips formed into a crooked smile, she clearly didn't wish to part ways, nor did I.
"Would you mind if I walked you back to your place?" I asked pointing at the wheelchair uncertain of what was appropriate. She was a proud woman, but the urge to be there for her was growing stronger.
"Oh, but my place is so far! In a completely different direction at that..." she argued, I just didn't know with who and about what.
"So?" I twitched my blonde brow, unsure of what was the problem with that.
She muttered something underneath her nose before finally whispering coherent words, "Nothing... that's quite alright if you like to do that." Her heartbeat escalated as she allowed me to push her wheelchair with a trail of stars shining above in the sky, almost guiding us along the path.
"Would you like to wear my gloves? It's cold, and I feel bad that you are doing this," she rambled, as she already began to take them off.
Leaning in from behind my hand caught hers. "I'm okay professor," I assured, my lips unintentionally close to her ear, which now burnt with a not-so-subtle shade of red. "Please do not worry about me." A bittersweet comment, that I meant from the bottom of my heart.
There was no reason to worry. My body was beyond such things as cold and diseases, and if anything were to happen the Pentagon would fix me up within a blink of an eye.
She remained silent for the rest of the walk, except for the occasional directions towards her flat, which has turned out to be not that far from the campus grounds, yet indeed in a completely different way than my dorm.
Allowing her to take over the wheelchair she moved up the ramp leading towards the entrance of an eight-story high apartment building.
"Well then, I appreciate the gesture," she thanked me as she opened the front door.
Looking at the woman I soaked in the delicate features molding her face, complemented by the dark shadows that at this point believed to be to a part of her, even though I knew those were simply there because of the sleepless nights and weak body she carried around. Still, never meeting anyone so alluring and inviting in my life, she held me breathless in the luminous moonlight.
"Sleep well professor," my voice throaty, it was difficult to speak with the sudden dryness, almost as if her brown irises brought a Jakkarian sand storm right into my mouth.
She hesitated, but composed herself and answered carefully, holding herself back; not sure from what. "It's nice to not be alone during these hard nights. Thank you for always keeping me company and being so respectful. It's refreshing," she admitted shyly.
Shifting, I hid my hands in the pockets of my dark coat. Giving her an acknowledging nod, unsure of what else to say.
"I'm Nahla," she introduced. "There's no need for formalities. I think we can become good friends, at least at this time," she chuckled and glanced at the moon for the last time tonight. "Try to get some rest, we have a long class tomorrow." She informed with a wearily smile, I could tell she was getting tired.
"You too professor," I answered causing her to gasp.
"I told you it'sâ" she paused herself when noticing my subtle smirk. "Seriously... You just want to get on my nerves, don't you? I take everything back!" she huffed through the smile she tried so hard to hide "Goodnight!" she exclaimed before closing the front door.
Standing in the spotânot movingâI thought of many things, but no matter what my thoughts were about, the heart would not stop beating so loudly I worried it could have been heard from the stars away.
Not too proud of myself as I sat at the top of the staircase leading into Nahla's apartment, and listened to the sound of her faintly beating heart, which like medicine allowed mine to calm down.
Pulling my knees into my chest there was a heavy rock residing at the bottom of my stomach, not leaving; a bearable yet uncomfortable feeling. An overwhelming number of emotions hugged me tightly, like a blanket over my shoulders, ensuring to create unwanted warmth â I rather be cold and feel nothing.
Pulling my phone out of the pocket, I sent Haze a short message asking for a meet-up. We had to start making progress, staying on this planet for longer than necessary has proved to be much harder than I initially thought.
Why wasn't Washu reacting in a similar way?
No matter. Someone had to remain cautious. Getting up from the cold concrete staircase I headed back to the dorm before my brunette friend wakes up and begins to question my disappearance. I would prefer not to worry her with my odd behavior and have her focused on finding the princess.
"I know you are close," I muttered to myself thinking of a way to find her and end this suffering. Yet suddenly a word has slipped out of my lips, "...Nahla."
What a suiting name it was. It's meaning; first sip of water or water in the desert. She truly was a temptation and a way to soothe my cold and lonely heart from something it lacked, yet not exactly aware what.
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