Avery We donât discuss my pornographic past, we donât talk about us. We just drive. Each hour carries us closer to Denver, and I canât help but feel further apart emotionally. The casual banter that used to flow so easily between us has been snatched away. This is what Iâd always feared â getting close to someone, and then having it ripped away from me once my secret came out. Thatâs why itâs easier not to get too close. But nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that. Crap. I hate how in my head I get about Jase. I need to just let it go. Him being here doesnât mean anythingâ¦does it?
Jase yawns and stretches next to me, pulling my attention from the road over to him. âWhen do you wanna stop?â he says around another yawn.
The clock on the dash informs me itâs already after eleven. Iâve been driving for almost six hours. Wow.
My neck is stiff and sore and cracks when I roll my shoulders. âI just thought Iâd pull into a motel off the highway, and crash. Sound okay to you?â
He nods. âSounds good.â
A few minutes later, Jase points out a sign for a motel. Itâs a cheap and probably run-down chain, but itâll do. I donât need anything fancy. I pull off onto the exit, more than ready to get out and stretch my legs.
As I navigate us toward the motel, Jase gestures to the string of fast food restaurants further down the road. âLetâs grab something to eat first. Youâre too thin, and I doubt you had dinner.â
I grin sheepishly. Heâs right. I havenât been eating well. Somehow food just doesnât taste like it used to.
Most days I have to force myself to get something down, and today, with all the excitement, it completely slipped my mind. âSure. Burgers or subs?â I survey the restaurants around us.
Jase looks over at me, his eyes smiling on mine. âIâm feeding you the biggest cheeseburger we can find. It wouldnât hurt to put a few pounds on you.â
I chuckle and shake my head at him. Iâm nowhere near model-thin, but itâs nice to hear his concern, just the same.
After polishing off cheeseburgers and fries, Jase and I check into the little motel heâd seen off the highway. An adjoining door separates our rooms, and though I want a shower and to crawl in bed, suddenly that door is all I can think about. Or more specifically, whatâs on the other side of it. I shouldnât allow myself to feel any hope, but I canât help wonder what Jase is thinking. Iâm also worried about trusting myself with him.