Weekends go by so fucking fast but this weekend seemed to drag on especially slow. It was dragging for so long and now that I'm thinking of it, it's probably best that it did.
But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm in jail right now...I mean school.
I'm so fucking nervous for gym and how Ms. Reed aka Georgia will react because she's such an unpredictable person. Either way, I'm still excited to see her.
Saturday night felt like a fever dream.
It may sound corny but that Flamingos song has been on repeat. My dad keeps asking me why I keep listening to it and I have to tell him I'm preparing for a talent show.
That night though, the way I felt her breath, her hands around my neck, the way we swayed to the music, everything was perfect. If that's what Heaven is then I want to be dancing with Ms. Reed for every second of my life.
Unfortunately I can't, and I'm not because I'm just about to open the doors to the gymnasium.
I open the doors and walk inside and now I'm confused.
She's not here.
Did she regret the other night? Is she sick? Did I get her sick? I'm not sick though.
I'm going to try not to think anything of it although I do think it's weird how she hasn't missed one school day yet and the day she decides to miss in the next school day after the Winter Formal.
Anyway, no time for me to stand in the middle of the gym and look confused because I need to go to the locker room where my low IQ friends are.
I head into the locker room and of course Maisie and Max are putting on make-up.
"I don't get how you can wear a suit to a formal one day and then put on make-up the next." I receive such a big side eye from Max.
"People can switch the days they are a masc and a fem you know?" Max says this as she's wearing an Adam Sandler type outfit. "And look at you. With your fucking 'LaMelo Ball is King' shirt you made Claudia's dad make and get signed for you."
Max is pointing to my shirt and me, Claudia, and Maisie all look. "Don't hate on King Melo."
Max rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Come on, let's just go sit until we get called for our activities."
We start leaving the locker rooms and when we enter the gym again, I still don't see Ms. Reed which is starting to leave me even more confused.
Claudia, Max, and Maisie are already making their way to their activity which is weird because they normally never leave this quick. So it's just me all alone.
For the first time in a while, I feel uneasy. I don't know if it's because of the whole Ms. Reed Winter Formal situation or what.
I'm too lost in my own thoughts right now to even notice that someone just sat down next to me. But I'm still going to look.
Fuck.
Payton's sitting right next to me, glaring at me uncontrollably. For some reason she's wearing something even more revealing than usual. Like she's trying to show off for somebody, showing them what they are missing.
I shift uncomfortably. Even with Payton right next to me, my eyes still flicker around the room, trying to find Ms. Reed. This is honestly so ridiculous. This whole situation. Me and Ms. Reed having the most intimate moment ever and then goes missing.
Then Payton speaks. "So you're just going to sit here, huh? And forget about everything?" Payton's voice is cold. It was a voice she never used towards me. Kind of like Ms. Reed's voice.
I flinch. "What?"
Payton scoffs. "Don't 'what' me Jules." Her eyes have anger behind them, her eyes are narrow but I can tell. "We were supposed to dance to the last song together on Saturday night. If you're going to bail on me, at least have the decency to talk to me or text me. Anything!"
Even though I don't really like her like that, the words hit me probably harder than they should and I suddenly feel guilty. There's nothing I can say or do to make this right. Because she's right. I did bail on her. For a fucking teacher who's nowhere to be seen.
Payton swallows loud enough for me to hear. "I thought we had something going on. Instead you left me stranded during the one dance I cared about most than any of the other ones. I really thought you were interested in me."
I sit there for a moment, silently. Might sound rude of me but I'm pretty sure the only dance people really care that much for is the last dance at a prom.
Bitch this is a Winter Formal.
I probably sound like a hypocrite though because of me and Ms. Reed dancing together. "Payton it's not-"
"Not like what Jules?" Her voice is raising a little now, making me a little scared. "I genuinely thought you were showing interest in me but turns out it was all casual? I've never seen you talk or do the things you've done with me with any of your other friends but what we did was just normal to you right?"
For someone who sleeps with a lot of people, she seems to be getting angry over the tiniest stuff. And no, I am not slut shaming her.
"I'm sorry Payton, I really am. I didn't mean for this to go down as south as it did. I just..." I don't really know what to say. I'm to scared to tell the truth and to scared to lie.
"Fuck it Jules. I'm done." Without saying a word more, Payton stands up and leaves, leaving me alone.
Whelp, I guess I don't have a pickleball partner anymore.
Speaking of which, I hear a voice call for pickleball and I know that voice a little too well for my own liking.
"Alright pickleball kids, lets head down to the bubble."
I don't know whose ass Ms. Reed just popped out of but it sure wasn't mine.
As Ms. Reed calls for all the pickleball kids to start making their way to the bubble, she's looking in every direction but where the seniors sit.
Where I'm sitting.
I stand up and as soon as I do, Ms. Reed looks at me. Just for a second. Maybe something even shorter for a second.
For some reason though, that second that we were looking at each other, it seemed monumental. The world seemed to fade away and Ms. Reed and I exchanged so many unspoken words.
Unlike all the other times, I walk slowly, trying my best to keep my distance from Ms. Reed.
Hopefully she says something to me today about the formal. I know I want to.
I'm playing pickleball with one of my random friends, Dylan. He's kind of sloppy at this game. Football is more his suit.
Just like the other day in attendance, Ms. Reed marked me present without even looking at me so I'm honestly confused as to what she's thinking right now.
Payton went back to her roots and was playing with the 'popular' boys. Once again, and I'm not trying to shame because I am a feminist but, all the guys she's playing with, she's slept with at least twice.
Ms. Reed hasn't come over to our court once. It's fine though because she's been sitting on the bleachers the whole time.
So if Georgia won't come to me, I will go to Georgia.
"Hold up guys, I'll be right back. Just have to get water." Dylan gives me a thumbs up. "Niall, take my spot." My other friend Niall takes my pickleball paddle and subs in for me as I begin to make my way over towards Ms. Reed.
"Hey Ms. Reed?" As always Ms. Reed is on her phone and jumps a little when she hears a voice.
Without looking at me, she knows its me. And the expression in her face is subtle but I can tell it changed.
And I don't think it changed in a good way.
I grab my water bottle that I brought to the bubble with me and I stand in front of Ms. Reed.
"You had a question, didn't you?" She's back to how she used to be.
I swear I'm going to flip out on a motherfucker at any minute.
I physically can't take this anymore. Her switching from her cold, stern voice and then having the softest voice ever towards me.
Where was the Ms. Reed I had the other day? I guess that was Georgia.
Now I'm too scared to say anything but I feel the need to. "I just wanted to uhm, you know, thank you, for dancing with me at the Formal the other night." I lower my voice for that last part and I take a sip from my bottle.
It felt so awkward to say those words but that's literally what happened.
Her eyebrows furrow for some reason. "The dance?"
I'm now rethinking my life choices and rethinking if me and her actually danced. I swear we did though.
"Uhm ye-yeah? The last song was that Flamingos song or something...? Dress? Glasses? The dance?!"
Her eyes flicker and I swear there's some recognition of the dance behind them. But as always, she's too well and fast to hide them.
"I don't think I know what you're talking about, Jules."
Ladies and gentlemen, please call 911. Location: the bubble.
What she just said feels like a fucking punch to the gut. I fucking hate it. Why is she acting like nothing happened? What is she doing?
I feel myself starting to get a little sweaty and my leg begins to shake uncontrollably so now she knows I'm nervous and there's nothing I can do about it. "Please Ms. Reed. Come on. Why are you doing this? You can't just act like, like we didn't-" I realize I'm in school territory with a bunch of students and even though I'm speaking low, it's probably best to shut up.
Ms. Reed shifts in her seat like now she's scared of getting caught.
But if we really didn't dance together then what is she so afraid of?
"I'm sorry Jules, I genuinely don't know what you're talking about. I'd try and help you if I could but I can't." The thing is, she doesn't even seem guilty about pretending to forget one bit.
I know I'm drinking water right now but I might have to pour it on myself so no one can tell the difference between that and the tears I can feel about to stream down my face.
I shake my head, over all of this.
"Fine then." I pause for a moment. "Fuck you."
I turn around and begin to speed walk to my court with my water just before Ms. Reed has the chance to respond back to me or even register what I just said.
To my shock, she's not saying anything. She's not calling me out in front of all the kids. Nothing.
But that just confirmed to me that she does remember the dance.
Just too pussy to say anything about it.
Authors Words:
Just want to say I will be inactive for the next few days as Im going college touring on the other side of the U.S.
U bet ur sweet ass Ill be back at school for my gym class time despite coming back home that same day.
Hope yall enjoyed and if yall got a crush on a teacher/professor, I hope everythings going well between the two of yall <3