THEY LEFT TWO weeks later, three months after Yunjun's return to Luoyang. It was a short stay, but Yunjun still had much to do at the borderlands. Training, she'd declared with much pride. The generals wanted to train her, so she could become a leader.
Tianjin stayed, since he'd already decided his place was not with the army. He would follow my uncle's path, most likely, and inherit the Shangguan estate when he died.
Chiqian and I did not spend much time together in those two weeks. He was far too busy packing and spending time with his parents and relatives and getting ready. And despite our engagement, we were not married, and thus we had to keep our distance.
The Emperor sent a letter to my father, telling him of his upcoming promotion back to Luoyang. My father replied with a letter that stated he was overjoyed. There was not one word of thanks. But I had not expected there to be. He and I would have little interaction even when he came back to Luoyang, I thought. I would live with Chiqian, and I was more likely to visit Shangguan Manor than I ever was wherever my father decided to step foot.
The Feis had sold their ancestral manor long ago. Ours was not a prolific or wealthy or historical family. My father would have to buy a small manor somewhere within the city to settle his new family. I would assist him, of course I would, but that was the most I would do.
Their day of departure was a dramatic one. We travelled with Yunjun to the city gates, where most of the soldiers returning to the borderlands were to gather before leaving. Yunjun handed her horse over to one of her servants before strolling towards us, a bright grin on her face. "And thus, I leave again."
Shangguan An scowled. "Do not make this so light." Yunjun was one of the only females leaving, with the exception of a few servants. "Be careful there, Yunjun."
"I am always careful, papa." She adjusted her armour. "I shall be back in a year, I think, alongside Cousin Minxi's fiance."
"Just in time for my marriage," Yunhua murmured, walking forward and fixing Yunjun's hair. "And then Minxi's, of course."
Sometimes, it was difficult to believe that Yunjun was only fourteen. She would turn fifteen soon, but she was still so young. It was difficult to think that she would be fighting on the borderlands, protecting our nation against the tribes that lived in the lands outside.
We continued talking for a bit, and then I spotted Chiqian standing with his parents a fair distance away. There was an older man next to them. That must be his adopted brother. He was a soldier too, if I recalled correctly.
I glanced at Yunhua and she understood immediately, giving me a nod.
I motioned for Yan'er to follow me, and I made my way to where Chiqian stood. I had already met with Prince and Princess Consort Duan, and I dropped a low curtsy as I greeted them.
Prince Duan smiled. He looked a lot like Chiqian, though he was a bit bigger in size. He motioned to the man beside them. "This is Chang Xun, my adopted son."
I curtsied at him. "Mr Chang." He'd be leaving, too, being a soldier.
He bowed. "Miss Fei. It is an honour to meet you. Call me Yuan Xun, please."
Chiqian turned to me, smiling. "I shall see you next year, Minxi."
"Do watch out for Yunjun, please? We are worried for her, being on the borderlands. She is so young, and a girl."
"A most impressive thing," Princess Consort Duan smiled. "A girl on the battlefield, and I hear she's an excellent fighter."
"She is a most amazing girl," I said earnestly, "but I fear she is inexperienced and naive. She still has much to learn."
"One would argue," Prince Duan murmured, "that it is more proper for her to watch out for Chiqian, since he's the one who's new to the borderlands and the ways of war."
"I must admit, that is true." I let out a laugh. "Oh, I shall not bother you any longer. I wish you all the best at the borderlands."
"I shall write frequently."
"I will look forward to that." I turned to his parents. "Prince Duan, Princess Consort Duan, Mr Chang, I wish you all the best of days. I must return to my family."
"Go now, before your uncle worries where you are." Princess Consort Duan smiled softly as I curtsied and turned to go.
Yunhua tilted her head as I neared. "You've said your goodbyes?"
"There is not much to say," I told her earnestly with a shrug. "Chiqian says he will write."
Yunhua nodded. "He's a good man. He'll treat you well."
"I hope so. His parents are nice people."
"And," Yunhua murmured, "his father never took a single concubine. There were some people who thought Mr Chang Xunâthat's the adopted son, you have met him?âwas Prince Duan's bastard, but Prince Duan went to great lengths to prove them all wrong. I don't think Duan shizi is likely to take a concubine either."
I said nothing. She was thinking about Luo Xueying again. Despite having always known that she would not be the only woman the Crown Prince would ever marry, she seemed to have been far more affected by it after Luo Xueying had been named Side Consort than before.
Perhaps it was not the idea of him having concubines, but the idea that one of them might be a genuine threat to her position. Yunhua was far too smart to truly vye for love from the Crown Prince, wasn't she?
But even the most rational of people would be overcome by a wish for more sometimes. Humans always craved feelings at the end of the day, even if they knew it was utterly impossible.
It was strange, watching the procession leave the city gates. Yunjun raised at us from upon her horse, and Chiqian smiled at me before his horse trotted out of the gates. And then they were all gone, and I stood there, between Yunhua and Yunxuan, feeling a sense of... lack of purpose.
I turned as the girls did, and we headed home.
â
MY FATHER CAME two months after Yunjun and Chiqian's departure. Along with him was my ecstatic step-mother and her newborn son. We received them first at Shangguan Manor, where they were to live until their new manor was fully prepared for their residence.
I was to stay at Shangguan Manor. I was not sure how my uncle convinced my father, but he agreed in the end that it would reflect far better on our family. My father's wealth and power was nothing compared to my uncle's, and the family with which I lived with would reflect on me as well.
Grandmother was there too, to receive them. Privately, she'd already promised me that she'd make sure my step-mother did not bother me or attempt to use me to further her own son's future. She felt like an indomitable rock to whom I could rely on, as I sat in the room that I was brought to when I'd first arrived in Luoyang.
I was not sure how my step-mother felt, being in Shangguan Manor. She'd always made a point of removing any sign of my mother's existence back home. And now, the only reason she was able to step into the manor of the Grand Chancellor was because my father had married my mother. Because of me, the step-daughter she'd always looked down on.
I stood, as did my cousins. Uncle An did too, after a short moment. "Fei Yang." Not brother in law. He was not that anymore, with my mother's death.
My father seemed to pause for a moment, disconcerted. Then, he said, "Grand Chancellor. Dowager Lady Shangguan. This is my wife, Ruo Yuxin and our newborn son, Fei Quan."
Fei Quan. That was the name of my newborn brother. A nursemaid behind my stepmother held him in hand, no more than a small bundle. My stepmother's pride and joy.
My father had not mentioned his name in his letters to me.
Uncle An gestured towards Yunhua, Tianjin and Yunxuan. "My eldest, Yunhua. My second, Yunjun, is away. Tianjin is my only son and heir, and Yunxuan, my youngest daughter."
"Mr Fei," Yunhua greeted on our behalf. "Mrs Ruo."
My step-mother managed a small curtsy. "Miss Shangguan. I must congratulate on your engagement to the Crown Prince. I'm sure you must be ecstatic."
Yunhua watched her for a slight moment, as if studying her, and then murmured, "Thank you."
My step-mother's eyes awkwardly turned to my father, who did not look at her.
No one else seemed to have any intention of lightening the mood, and I for sure was not going to step up.
Grandmother finally interrupted the silence. "We've prepared a small court for you to live in for now. It is small, but I'm sure it would do for now."
Perhaps finally, my father had realised that they were not honoured guests here. They were merely distant relatives who had little to do with the Shangguans now, especially with my mother's early death. It was lucky that they even received them at all, and it was wholly on my behalf they stood here now. My behalf, because I was a useful piece to utilise to secure more strategic marriages and alliances for the Shangguans.
"Thank you, my lady," my father managed. "We would not intrude upon your hospitality for long, as it would not take much time for our manor to be ready. I apologise for any inconvenience caused."
"Have you fared well in adjusting to your new station?" my uncle asked, though his voice was anything but interesting. It was the epitome of boredom.
I was not ignorant of the glances my father and step-mother shot my way in hope of assistance, but I kept my mouth clamped shut and my eyes down on the ground, never looking at any of them. I owed them nothing. I did not need to help them, because they had never done anything but put a roof on me and food in my mouth and clothes on my back. I had already helped them more than enough, and without me they would not be here in Luoyang at all.
They'd all still be in Henan.
They were not even the ones contributing much of my dowry.
"I have, Grand Chancellor. I've adjusted fairly quickly."
"Good."
Silence again. Tianjin turned and stared out of the window in boredom. Yunxuan stayed in her seat, as still as a statue, and Yunhua looked deep in thought. Grandmother played with her Buddha prayer beads and my uncle observed my father and step-mother.
Finally, my new younger half-brother began to cry. With that, my uncle begun, "You must be weary after your journey. I'm sure you'd appreciate some rest. Auntie Guo, bring our guests to their resting place and make sure they are well-settled. I'm afraid we are all due for a banquet at the manor of Prince Bao." Which was the truth. Yunhua was rather excited, since she had not seen Princess Shaoheng for some time.
Princess Eryang had recently been granted in marriage to a young viscount. From what I'd heard, she was most displeased, especially since Princess Shaoheng was not yet married either. It was customary for the elder to marry before the younger.
My father bowed. "I thank you for your hospitality again, Grand Chancellor." And then they left, led away by the servants.
"Boring people," Yunhua said mildly after they were out of earshot. "How they raised Minxi escapes me."
Shangguan An shot her a warning look, but said nothing.
I said, softly, "Well, they did little to raise me, I must admit."
"I can see that," Yunhua said archly. "When do they leave?"
"Soon, I hope." Grandmother's eyes went to me. "I must admit, I've always held a slight grudge against your father. He treated your mother well enough during the start of your marriage, but he has all but tarnished her reputation with her now gone."
"Some of that must be allocated to the work of my step-mother."
Yunxuan sniffled. "Her manners..."
I knew they were doing this to make me feel better. To make it clear to me that just because my parents had come to Luoyang did not mean they were abandoning me. They still had my back. And they did not think my parents were good people either.
It was... nice. That these people who usually did nothing unless it advantaged them were willing to do this for me.
"Let us go now," Grandmother announced. "You younglings must get ready for for the banquet tonight. Me, I shall go have a nap." She got up with assistance from her maid, and we all stood to send her off. Our uncle left next, and us children went our own separate ways as well.
It had not yet been an hour in my own courtyard when my parents came knocking.
It was Yan'er who reported it, and I told her to let them in and lead them to my receiving room. I was still dressing, so I had them wait for a moment as I got into my garments and headed slowly to the receiving room.
My step-mother was scowling when I arrived. "Is this your manners now, Minxi, now that you've managed to climb up? Keeping your own parents waiting?"
"I'm afraid you've misunderstood me," I demurred. "I was dressing for the banquet at Prince Bao's tonight, so I was not in the proper garments to receive my elders. I could not very well come and see you underdressed, ma'am."
My step-mother shot daggers at my father, who, after a moment, began, "How fares Duan shizi?"
"He is away at the borderlands. His first letter has not yet arrived."
"Is he not in Luoyang?" my father asked, blinking.
"No, Father, I've mentioned his departure in my last letter to you. Was it lost in the mail?"
"No, I... I must have forgotten. Too much on my mind these days, you know."
"Is my brother well?"
"He is a sweet boy. Very healthy," my step-mother said hastily. "When does the shizi return? Has a date been set for your marriage?"
"He returns in around a year," I replied softly. "A proper date has not yet been set, but it should be softly after Yunhua marries the Crown Prince."
"You are close with her?"
"She is a true sister to me. Yunjun and Yunxuan as well."
"I've heard about this Yunjun," my step-mother said, eyes narrowed. "She fights at the borderlands. An abomination of nature."
"Ruo Yuxin!" my father scolded, glancing at her. "Remember where we are and do not forget yourself."
"She is much admired by many," I said back, as if my father had not uttered a single word. "She is the leader of a new generation of girls, I think, and many among her admire her. She is one of the most promising young military leaders of our generation."
"But she is a girl."
I stared at her coolly, and eventually she tore her gaze away. "Fine. Your wings are hardened now and you pay no mind to us anymore. You've had a taste of the splendours of Luoyang and now you spit upon us."
"Ma'am! The things you think of me! This is Luoyang, not Henan. You must watch what you say, or you shall know what it truly feels like to be spat on. Ma'am, I am to marry Duan shizi. His father is the brother of the Emperor. You must not show a lack of manners."
"Who are you accusing ofâ"
"Yuxin!"
My step-mother glared.
"You must not forget," I murmured, "that you were the one who sent me here in Luoyang in the first place."
"Then you ought to be thankfulâ"
"And allow you to use me to further your son's future? Ma'am, he is not yet one. I advise you to hide your ambition and greed, for no one shall admire it here in Luoyang. My cousins have already laughed about your lack of manners, and it is extremely embarrassing."
My father raised his hand. "Minxi, this is no way to talk to your step-mother."
"Father, my marriage to Duan shizi is one that took much pain and length to achieve. I shall not have it ruined because Mrs Ruo is unable to perform to the standards demanded of Luoyang. Do you understand? I am sure you do, for you have always been clever with these matters."
"I understand. I shall talk with your step-mother in private about it."
"Fei Yang..." my step-mother started.
"I am glad we understand each other," I told him with a small smile. "I am very glad to hear that, Father. Now, I hope you would not blame me if I ask for you to leave. I must prepare for the banquet tonight, and it shall take a lot of time."