Owen
The moment Fitz and I get to the camp grounds, he slipped away, that fucking bastard.
It had already been a challenge being the one to drive him to the party with him doubting the legitimacy of my license, I couldn't think of anything more challenging than finding someone in a place where there are another hundred people or so mingling with him.
The place was unsurprisingly not as accessible as anyone with a wheelchair might want it to be. The grounds were uneven, and the paths were quite rocky. I was limited to only a few spots in the campgrounds and thankfully, that included the restrooms and the food stations.
I gave up searching for Fitz after a while. He was hard to track and I couldn't simply go anywhere. So there I was, sitting by the food stations with a light alcoholic drink in my hand, when I saw her.
Athena.
She seemed to have just arrived, and if I could, I would've went up to her and also stared at what she had her big, brown eyes on.
The floating lanterns.
It was unfortunate how I couldn't go up there, but I was satisfied by watching her beam at the lanterns that rose above her, their soft, golden glow making my girl laugh and twirl around them, like she was the center of the universe.
Like she was, in that moment, infinite.
Her eyes twinkled as she looked up at the lanterns and her nose crinkled as she took in the beauty she found in such a beastly place as somewhere people actually camp on. She was adoring, and I was there, not too far but not too near, to be the one to adore her.
I almost felt scared for her after all the spinning she did under those lights. I watched her lose her balance and I feared she would break her other arm or something, but she didn't. Someone caught her, and that someone was the same person I had been looking all over the grounds for; Fitz, that bloody idiot.
They seemed to engage in conversation for a while, and I didn't want to seem like a stalker, so I went around the accessible parts of the campgrounds, dismissing the few clumps of soil clinging to the wheels of my chair. This might be a little tiring to get rid off later.
A lake, crystal clear to the eye and shining in the moonlight, entranced me. It seemed peaceful, and what I needed the most was silence from the loud music they had blaring earlier.
Well, the place had almost been perfect with the exception of seeing quite too many bare asses and dingly-danglies, even in the dark. I merely shook my head at them and just, sat there, staring out into the lake, dismissing the hollers coming from those who were stripped naked in the far corner of my eye.
Seconds turned into minutes, and I was feeling a bit drowsy just staring at the lake. The only thing that most likely kept me awake was the loudness of those guys jumping in and out of the lake, naked. I think I even saw someone grab a bunch of clothes and dash away, back to the party.
I smiled to myself. They may act like complete idiots, but at least they are having fun.
Inaccessible places limit where I go, so I had to be smart about finding places I could find myself comfortable with. This area around the lake was one of them, and thankfully, a good one. With it's flat lands, dry grass, and dirt that doesn't cling much to the chair, it was better than anything else that had the feel of nature.
I inhaled the scent of the lake, and found myself calmed by it. It was a sight to behold too, with the water glistening from the silvery sheen of the moon.
It caught my attention, and weirdly, someone did too.
If I am not mistaken, Athena walked by me slowly, her eyes fixated on the group of guys who were shivering from the lake screaming for their clothes.
The yells of the nude suddenly evaporated in my ears, and all I could only hear was silence, and the slow, calming whoosh of Athena's footsteps through the grass. Everything seemed to blur out, all except her.
I couldn't believe it. I had to blink twice. Or thrice. Or four times, actually.
Was I sure it was Athena?
Maybe it was someone else, I kept thinking.
There was currently one short, blonde person I know who has an arm in a purple cast, that exact pair of powder blue floral shorts that was neither too short nor too long, and those unmistakable maroon Doc Marten boots she wears everywhere.
I watched her as she chose a spot for her to sit on and saw her gaze pointed toward the lake as well. It seems as if I wasn't the only one beheld by it.
I tried to be calmed by the lake again by focusing on it, tried to erase Athena from my field of vision, but somehow, she's all I can see. Despite my dislike towards the strangers jumping in and out of the lake nude, I turned my head to face them, but I think I focused too hard. All I can see are the asses of strangers now, even with my eyes closed.
A bit uncomfortable after that disturbing display of nude, I looked back towards where Athena sat on the grass, and I wondered what it would be like to sit next to her. Or even talk to her.
We had just started warming up to each other again, and I don't want to ruin whatever we had after that night we got stuck inside the news room.
I wanted to go to her and recreate that moment back there. I wanted to be able to feel her petite hand clasp mine, and I wanted to be able to just, be with her.
I inhaled a deep breath, and even if it was against the usual principles I lived by, I slowly went up to her.
She was not far, but it took me a while to muster all my courage just to ask her something.
I unlocked the brakes of my chair, and slowly felt myself push toward her. It was terrifying. Not long enough, I was behind her now, my palms a bit sweaty from the jitters of nervousness. I was even scared of calling her attention, so I gently tapped her shoulder. She turned almost immediately, and for a moment, I was speechless. I didn't know what to tell her.
Should I compliment her looks? I mean, she looks extremely good today, with her dirty blonde hair in two short braids and her pinkish lips shone glossy in the moonlight. Or maybe complimenting her looks wasn't a great idea? How about what she wore? It was a simple pairing of a plain cream crop top and powder blue floral shorts. Of course she would look good in almost anything, even the most hideous of clothing.
"Can I sit with you?" I finally asked, my voice resonating how nervous I was.
Athena looked at me, stared at me even, with her eyes wide with surprise. I wouldn't be shocked if she declined or chose to shoo me away. I would understand. What I didn't get was how she actually looked happy to see me.
My chest started to feel more alive than usual every time she was happy. It made me happy.
"Of course." She said, a glowing smile etched on her face as she moved a bit and patted down the clean patch of grass next to her. I gratefully obliged and pulled the brakes of my chair first before sitting down next to her.
As I fixed myself down on the cold, sharp grass, I wasn't sure whether her face glowed because of the moonlight. Something about her simply makes her seem so luminous.
Once I got settled, Athena and I stayed quiet for a moment, as we both admired the lake and the big, full moon above it. If the moon was a mirror, I could see her expressions as she stared out into the horizon, and determine whether she felt the same way I did.
I strangely felt at home. Calm, unbothered, home.
"What are you doing here?" she finally asked, her big, brown eyes fixated at me.
I stammered the first syllables of my words a bit, so I had to look away for a moment before I could blurt out anything embarrassing.
"Fitz forced me to. I don't have anywhere decent to go because of the paths but, this is alright, I guess. How about you?" I asked back.
Her mouth had a slight curve to it now, she was smiling. It was a playful one, one of my favorites of hers.
"I originally had swimming plans backed up, but I don't think I would like it if someone dashed away with my clothes if I went in naked." she said with a light chuckle as she looked at the naked group of strangers. I didn't know what to do except nod along and smile.
"But it would be a good story to tell. Skinny dipping, stolen clothes, what a way to end your first year of college, right?" I said, looking at her as she suddenly turned back to me, her face bright as her smile widened.
"Not a bad idea, isn't it? But there's always something better than that." she noted, following a deep breath into the cold air of the evening.
"And what's that?" I asked curiously.
She shrugged, and for a quick moment, her smile ran away from her face and was replaced by uncertainty.
"A sign. I don't know. I just need one, single sign to tell me something. I've been thinking a lot." she said, her eyes seemingly in a far away land now. They were distant, and she shivered a bit in her seat from the cold of night.
Without thinking, I pulled off the sweater I wore and offered it to Athena. She just smiled and declined politely, motioning her arm in a cast. I felt bashful all of the sudden as I wore my sweater again. It was chilly.
"Does it bother you?" I asked, focusing back on what she said just moments ago.
She nodded and seemed extremely burdened by it, I had a feeling she wanted to talk.
We were silent again, and I blame myself mostly for it. Looking back at her hugging herself from the cold, I took the risk, and sat closer beside her, our arms touching. She could use some warmth, even if it's not what's ideal. Athena looked at me, a bit surprised.
"Well, someone once told me I was a good listener. I could listen to her talk about her day endlessly, and I wouldn't interrupt. You know you could tell me." I said, still staring at her.
Athena smiled, and although I thought it was not possible, she scooted even nearer, and tucked herself into my arm, as if she was mocking me. With her this close, I could've sworn she could hear how fast my heart was beating, and how I couldn't exactly get my thoughts straight. She was terrifyingly close.
"Promise you won't make fun of me?" she said, almost scornfully.
It was my turn to smile.
"In what world would I make fun of you?" I said, and at that, she pretended to think for a while, before she nodded.
"Fine. You do have a point. I'm too precious anyway."
Indeed you are.
I watched her smile and relax as she stared into my eyes, her body warming up to mine as we sat side by side. She was the epitome of perfection, and my mind ran questions on the possibility of someone being so beautiful, even with all the scars she has, inside and out.
"Owen, do you believe in soul mates?" Athena suddenly asked, getting me out of my loop.
I had once thought of soul mates, and the thought of it made me gag. But I also once thought I wasn't worthy of being cared for and appreciated by someone like Athena, and that defies all odds. At this point, I am unsure, so I merely shrugged.
"I don't know. They could exist, they could not. We can't exactly say." I told her. She nodded in response.
"True, but don't you think it's beautiful how each person has someone else to carry with them for the rest of their lives? To have even just one person to understand your rhythm and dance to the same tune you've been hearing at the back of your head? They don't have to be romantically involved but, isn't it nice to know that out there in the world, is someone who truly understands you?" she said, her eyes now sparkling with a burst of desire, and at the same time, longingness.
I felt a tinge of that too, my heart aching a bit as I replayed that small bit about simply having someone who seemed to be borne out of the same soul you have. I realized, I wanted that too.
"I've got to say, it really sounds beautiful." I said, turning to her. Athena wasn't looking at me yet, but all I thought about was how beautiful she was.
"I know. But do you know what's sad about this whole thing about believing in soul mates?" she said, dismissing me entirely. Athena seemed to think deeply about it, and I felt that after all this time, I still couldn't reach her level of wit and wisdom. After all, she was too good to be true, like a dream.
"What's that?" I asked, forgetting the thoughts in my head.
"That you only have the urge to really know them once you feel loneliness envelope you, eating you whole. That's what I'm scared of." she said, her voice almost to a hush as she lowered her head and moved a bit farther away from me.
"Of being alone?" I asked.
She shook her head.
"No. Of being lonely. They're two different things, Owen. People can be happy when they're alone because they see themselves better. We realize things we didn't understand before whenever we're alone but, when we're lonely, we understand nothing. The great, blank, canvas of nothing is more terrifying than anything else I've ever heard of in my entire life. I don't want to face that alone either." she pointed out.
Athena looked saddened by her realization, and I wanted to comfort her as much as I could. She was never afraid of anything, she always took the risks and made the best out of the chances she was given. Now, she looked so uncertain and fearful for her future, and even I was starting to question my own as well.
With one look at her, I didn't have to think things over and over in my head if it meant easing her mind. I gently pulled her closer, and wrapped an arm around her, cautious on her right side since that was a bit sensitive with her recent injury and all. I don't want to hurt her. Not again.
Athena turned her head up at me, shock written all over her face. I didn't want to seem too shocked as well, so I played the nonchalant card.
With that, Athena and I were quiet once again. She let my arm wrap over her and unexpectedly, she held my dangling hand and gripped it. We sat in silence, both staring out into the lake and the moon with its light glistening above. Everything seemed quiet, and strangely peaceful. I only hope she has found her peace with the thoughts that ran in her mind.
After a few minutes without even moving the slightest inch, Athena still seemed tense and lost in her head. I didn't know how to properly console people, but I'll try my best with her.
"You don't have to face it alone, you know. You have me." I said, breaking the silence.
Athena immediately turned to look at me, her eyes wide.
"I don't care if soul mates are real or not, but, whatever happens, I'm here for you. I always will be." I said, now looking into her eyes.
Athena didn't show any expression, and for a moment, I was scared.
Did I say something wrong?
Not soon after, my thoughts were calmed down by the sight of a small smile spreading across her face. It was a smile worth millions, and I would be the penniless bidder risking everything just to have her. She was worth it, after all.
"I guess I found my sign, then." she said.
Athena's smile slowly evolved into a laugh, and I couldn't help but smile as well as she crept back closer towards me.
She stared at me the same way she used to watch me whenever I was busy with something else. Her eyes were shining, and I drowned in her dark pools as I let it take me away and pull me deeper.
Athena continued to look at me, eyeing me with every bit of fascination as she seemingly studied my face, her eyelashes fluttering. Unusually, I didn't find myself conscious of my looks. I felt dignified, as if I could conquer everything in my path.
I stared at her too, and played this long staring game with her.
Her eyes, although contrary to her dislike of them, were a gorgeous shade of golden brown, like fresh honey dripping off a hive. Her lips were tinted like a rose, and her nose was a button. Her braided blonde hair was messy now, with the wind chilling both of us.
She was a goddess, a true one.
I let go of my arm wrapping her shoulders and sat to face her. Athena adjusted her seat as well.
We continued this game of yearning, and Athena was the first to move. She slowly let her fingers brush over my arm, and I was next to push back her hair behind her studded ear. She sat closer, and I moved closer too.
She let her hand graze my arm, up until it touched my face. I sat there, struck by how beautiful she was, with her soft smile, and her hand touching me. I slowly moved even closer, with my hand now on her cheek, and our foreheads now touching.
Her blonde locks spilled over my view, but I realized my brunette ones were in front of hers. We laughed and let them shield our vision, because in that moment, nothing seemed to matter. Only she did.
As if by instinct, I was drawn toward her mouth. Her lips were still curved into a smile, and I found myself laughing at how all I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss her.
Athena was still cupping my face, as I did with hers, and without even thinking, I pulled her closer and tasted the heavens.
She fit right into the crevices of my body, and we soon found ourselves laying on the cold, patch of grass that we previously sat on. Her kiss was sweet and burst with euphoria. It was daring, it was shameless. It spoke more words that she could ever could, and it told me something that eased all my own uncertainties.
Her kiss seemed to tell me I was enough. It told me I was deserving of all the love in the world, and I had so much to give back.
Athena and I laughed as soon as we were out of breath, and now rolled to our backs, our eyes staring up at the sky above us. With one look at her, I realized she was all I ever wanted. She was everything to me, and now, I feel complete.
Maybe some time alone did work, and it all worked for the best.
I slowly let my hand reach out to find her hand, and once I did, I held it in mine. I clasped it, with no plans of letting it go.
I don't want to be lost again. I am home after all.