Owen
Everything seems to spin as soon as I shot my eyes open. Even waking up is a pain in the ass, more so, when I looked around only to see myself in an unfamiliar bedroom, cold as ice. I didn't even have a shirt on. I shivered as I crept under the covers a bit more until it reached my chin. I stayed awake for a short while, taking in my strange whereabouts.
"What the fuck?" IÂ muttered gravelly as soon as I roused myself awake from the painful morning light. I squinted and groaned as I let my eyes gather the details of the unfamiliar bedroom and it occurred to me that I must have not reached my dorm yet.
I was insanely tired. I was not quite sure what happened previously that made me this exhausted; made me want to go back to bed and sleep. The only thing that was stopping me was this unbearable headache I have and escalated sensations of nausea, I was sure I was close to vomiting.
"What's the matter?" a sleepy, feminine voice said all of the sudden, shaking me to my core. I jolted a bit as I looked over to my side and I immediately sat down in bed. I swept my dark messy hair back so I can see better and I felt myself go numb as soon as I realized who the person was. I immediately felt more nauseous than before.
"Maya." I said as soon as she turned in bed under the covers, her purple bra strap slightly dangling down her shoulder. I didn't want to expect the worst that might have happened which could possibly explain why we were in the same room, in the same bed. And I didn't have a shirt on.
"Yes Owen? What is it?" she said in a silvery tone, her enunciation unusually clear and light.
"What-- what happened last night?" I asked her. I felt sweat bead up around the crane of my neck and forehead. I wiped them with the back of my hand which weirdly and thankfully, still had my gloves on them. I wouldn't know what I would do without them.
"I don't know. We drank?" Maya answered as she yawned, stretching her arms up as she pulled up her bra strap and crept under the covers again, turning her back against me this time.
"Oh yeah? Then how did I--, we, end up here? And where is my shirt?" I asked as I slowly looked around the bed. I didn't want to look what was under the covers just yet because I fear I would see something I would rather erase from my mind permanently than not.
"Look under the bed, it's probably there." she answered breathily, obviously going back to sleep again.
I groaned as I slowly moved and pivoted my body downwards to check where my shirt was and immediately, found it all crumpled along with my socks and shoes. I quickly wore it again, putting it over my head as I clumsily squeezed my way through.
"Maya." I said after patting down my shirt, looking at her silhouette.
"What?" she answered in an annoyed tone without turning to face me.
My head was in extreme agony at this point and I felt even more agonized by the way Maya seemed to be a completely different person. My headache seemed to have worsened because of her and my brows were pushed together in shear annoyance.
"What happened last night?" I asked.
I was straight to the point this time. There was no need for any detours because from the looks of it, I would be better off preparing myself for the worst.
Without a second to spare, Maya turned to me with her face glowing with satisfaction, a small smile on her face as she gently rubbed her eyes and looked at me with an expression I can't quite explain.
"We had sex. It was a one-night stand kind of thing, I don't know. Don't think about it too much. Things like those happen all the time." she said nonchalantly as she slowly sat herself up on bed, her body close to me. I moved a little farther away from her, eyes wide from the realization of probably the biggest mistake I have ever made so far.
I was cold and felt the color drain away from my face. I paled.
I was not ready for this.
I never even knew such things were possible. But they are. I used to think I would experience these kinds of things with someone special to me, both of us doing it for the sake of love, of passion. I didn't expect to be losing it to a girl I have classes with at a college party while drunk. And it was also the first time I got extremely drunk. How unfortunate.
"How come I can't seem to remember anything happening?" I asked as soon as I gathered my bearings. My breathing was unstable at this point and I felt very nauseous. I think I'm about to vomit.
Maya shrugged her shoulders and turned her head to look at me, her long, black hair swooshing as she moved. It was unusual to see her like this; in her undergarments and with her hair down since she mostly has her hair in a high ponytail or in braids. She was smiling now, even.
"You were pretty decent, actually, if that's what you mean." Maya noted with a hint of surprise in her voice. I was guessing she didn't expect it too.
I was angry at myself and also at Maya. I trusted her. She was a decent friend and I didn't expect her to be like this. The Maya I know was kind and thoughtful, she had my back when that terrible professor made fun of me and she made sure to always help me in any way she could. This Maya was different.
"No. Please shut up, okay?" I said, hearing my voice get a little louder than usual. I don't raise my voice to anyone, especially women. My mum taught me well actually, but this-- this I think is one of those times where I could freely voice out my frustration.
"Fine." she said, pulling herself out under the covers and stood. As expected she only had on her bra and thankfully, the pants she wore the night before. I stayed in bed. My head was throbbing; throbbing from the possible hangover I have and the unexpected bits of information I have gathered today.
Maya and I were silent for a moment. She searched the dorm room for a closet and once she found it, she looked through the wardrobe until she found a decent men's shirt that was rather huge on her. Maya turned her head to look back at me' must've noticed me looking.
"You have quite some scars down your back, don't you?" she asked in a soft voice as she tied the lower part of her shirt into a tight bun that made it fit snugly around her waist.
"What about them?" I asked tiredly.
I was not in the mood to talk about my body. I might never be in the mood to talk about it, to be honest. I was never the open kind of person who you could just walk over to and ask why the hell are you different from the rest. It was not my kind of thing and talking about it always made me feel less of a person than I already am.
"I don't know. I was just curious, that's all. When I removed your shirt last night and your--"
"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear any details about that. Ever." I immediately said, cutting her off. Maya shrugged.
"Sorry. I just wanted to know how you got those scars." she said, now standing idly near the open closet that poured out random men's shirts and pants. I didn't want to look at her at this moment because I don't seem to be okay knowing that this person has probably seen more of me than anyone ever could.
I didn't even like how my body looked like. I didn't like how skinny it was and how random scars are scattered around my thighs and especially, my back. It was something I would only show and explain to people I have achieved a certain level of comfort with. Too bad Maya was not one of those people.
"I don't feel comfortable telling you. I don't even know if I'm comfortable around you now." I admitted.
Maya remained where she was and stared at me, expressionless. Eventually, she nodded subtly as she bit her lower lip, releasing it soon after.
"Okay. I understand. I'm sorry." she said.
I nodded a bit too, a little surprised she even apologized for letting such things slide through. After a few moments of staying in bed, I think I was okay with moving now that I think I have seen my way past the hangover. The headache was still there, I still had my pants (thankfully) and yet, as I turned sideways to grab my wheelchair, I managed to only grab air.
"Maya, where the hell is my chair?" I asked as I frowned in desperation as I risked worsening my nausea and looked around the room for the familiar sign of my wheelchair.
I never lost my wheelchair before. I never seemed to be bothered by the idea of it anyway in the past. It had always been there. As a child, I usually dreamed about the wheelchair disappearing but I didn't expect to have the desire to actually need it more than ever. It was only until now that I fully appreciated its purpose.
"Aren't you supposed to know where you left it?" she asked innocently as she cocked her head and walked around the room, even looking outside the window.
"No, Maya I-- Fuck. Just, leave me alone." I said as I purposely hit my head on the headboard repeatedly. This can't be happening.
Maya seemed to understand how anxious and scared I am upon losing my chair. She walked over to the side of the bed where I am and sat down slowly.
"I can't, Owen. I won't leave you without your chair. What will you do?" she asked in a soft voice. I know she has good intentions underneath all this crap she puts up but I can't help it.
"I certainly can't go on the floor and crawl my way through this whole building, can I?" I asked annoyingly with my eyes narrowed at her and my expression fuming. I was frustrated.
"No. You can't." Maya said sadly as she retreated a bit and looked down as she realized how useless I basically am without the chair.
I sighed.
"The least you could do to help is to find it." I said, rolling my eyes at her as I slumped back into bed, sinking under the covers. Childish as it may be, I was heavily irritated by the fact that aside from losing my virginity to a person I don't even like, I lost the only thing that allows me to actually be an acceptable member of society. You don't see paralyzed people crawl along the streets, do you?
Maya was slack-jawed. She was obviously dismayed and seemed a bit offended but I don't know why she acted like that for some reason. She immediately stood up, pulling the covers away from me and tucked them under her arms.
"Wow. So this is how you spoke to Athena before you two sucked each others' mouths. She told me how annoyed you were with almost everything and I didn't believe it until this. I don't like that tone of yours." she said in a dark voice.
I didn't feel guilty for the tantrum I had. It seemed right for the moment, actually. My frustration later turned into anger, not towards myself but to Maya. I was angry at her and I couldn't help but raise my voice once again.
"Well, sorry for telling you to find my wheelchair like it's not the only way I can get around." I spat.
Maya looked at me with her mouth hanging open a little and I just couldn't believe I was friends with her. She doesn't deserve Fitz's adoration.
"Then think of other ways! You're smart enough with all your SATs scores and genius girlfriend. I'm just someone who got in because of money and the curriculars I didn't even do." she admitted with a sour smile plastered on her face.
"Is that even allowed? Maya, don't change the subject. Just find my wheelchair. Please." I said. I was pleading at this point. I didn't want to because she was acting like such a bitch (Mum, I'm so sorry) but I need to. I can't go anywhere without it and Maya was the closest thing I have to a lead.
She stood by the doorway with her jaw tight and her eyes unwavering. They were cold.
"For a second, I thought I would actually be helping you find that damn thing. I don't want to now." she said bitterly as she turned her back and started to walk away from me.
"Maya--"
"See you in class, I guess." she muttered coldly as she walked past the doorway and eventually, left me all alone in an unfamiliar room with an intense hangover. I groaned in pain as my headache worsened.
"Rot in hell." I whispered as I took out my phone and texted the remaining people I trust about the situation.
I hate this.