Owen
I can't believe I actually came.
What the fuck.
There's no turning back now, I guess.
I was met by Maya over by the entryway into Rockefeller. As soon as I rolled up to her, she shot me an expectant grin and literally yanked one of my hands as she pulled me inside. I was startled by her immediate reaction; I had one hand on the rims of my chair, securing that I don't fall off, and the other was held tightly by Maya's thin, cold hands, our fingers loosely interlacing.
I stared at our hands and felt my own ones go sweaty. How disgusting. I immediately brushed off the image away from my mind because as Maya and I ventured further into the building, I couldn't help but catch myself smiling at what I am seeing because it really did look like something out of Harry Potter.
And the only thing we have in our dorm is Harry Potter night. What a big letdown.
Maya kept her deep, dark brown eyes at me the whole time and was smiling as well, raising her head up at the brilliant design of the foreign dormitory itself.
"Cool, right?" Maya exclaimed as she brought me over to party central, where students pooled in and out doing whatever such as talking, dancing, and mostly, drinking.
At this point, I realized what exactly I did. My expression immediately fell off my face as soon as I came upon hordes of kids around my age, having the time of their lives. These things must seem all normal to me. I'm turning nineteen in a month and I was supposed to know how to spend my last years of being a teenager by going to parties, dancing drunk, and having one night stands.
In reality, I don't know anything about those.
I was at a party. A college party. This was certainly not exactly my cup of tea and there was no way I would find myself, my real self, at such things.
I was a homebody, a couch potato. I literally have an imprint of myself on my bed back at home with my mattress sunk right in the corner where I usually read or stare out the window, contemplating about life and all things that suck. I was fine with the silence of it all, even when Athena came into the picture. The beautiful quiet of reading and sleeping contrasted quite rashly with the loudness of this party I seem to have crashed.
Looking up, the lights were dimmed low in the halls and strobe lights had been installed around the trim of the ceiling by god knows who; seems like a recipe for a fire hazard. It seemed to be installed rather unsuccessfully since it looked a bit loose. I made a mental note to stay away from the sides in case I break my nose or something.
Unsurprisingly, as Maya and I went deeper into the crowds, IÂ felt watched.
Very watched.
The feeling was no stranger to me but still, I couldn't help but feel like it was my first time going back to a normal school as a kid in a wheelchair. Even in sixth grade with a few years of homeschooling behind after the accident, I was always seen for the chair, not for my weird quiz bee awards or science projects. It had always been disability first before the person.
But still,
I'm a college freshman, I need to stop thinking about this. I chose a school that was the most inclusive (who actually accepted me) and wheelchair-friendly. Unfortunately from the looks I get, it seems the only exception to this thing are the students.
People's heads turned toward me and I felt so small and out of place, I instinctively gripped the rims of my wheels to a hard turn so I can get out as fast as I can. I need to get out. I have seen what I came here for and I do not mix well with alcohol and people. I throw up from just one drink. Not many college kids with disabilities end up being invited to parties anyway. Why should I be different from my own kind of people?
"Where the hell do you think you're going? We just got here." Maya told me as she blocked my path out, her arms folded against her chest and her eyes fiery in her glare.
I gulped and looked around nervously.
"I don't like it here. I want to go home." I answered blankly as I turned my head towards the crowd of students who mostly had their eyes on me. I couldn't blame them though. The eyes have always been meant to analyze the things around us and I hated how disability creates a boundary between normal looks and more analytical ones; such as the ones these people are probably giving me now.
Maya looked at me sadly and put a hand on my shoulder as she gently rubbed it and sighed.
"It's okay. Just stick with me all night and you won't be laid a finger on." she said reassuringly as she cocked her head to the side and greeted people she knew who passed her by.
I simply glared back at those who looked down on me and narrowed my eyes at them, my stare intense. Fuckers.
"They don't look nice." I spat as a girl with a black bob passed by us and pouted her lips as she looked at me in the eye all down to my legs. From that moment on, I remembered why I didn't like girls in the first place. Their faces are too expressive. I mean, they don't have to rub the fact that I can't walk with their silly little pouts, ridiculous laughs--
Oh wait, I have a girlfriend.
But still, I didn't like girls particularly because they always tend to talk down on me like I'm a kid and start treating me like one. Oh yeah, the adult nappy experience was quite fun, wasn't it?
"Owen, try to loosen up. Enjoy being a teenager. Thirteen year old kids have more fun than you nowadays. Drink something at least. I have a feeling you don't like dancing." Maya said as she pulled me further down the corridors and into a dorm room where the booze were. Fewer people were stationed here, all drunk and woozy, I don't think their eye sights are good enough to make out the wheelchair. That, I felt okay.
Maya took a red plastic cup from one of the tables and poured some water-like concoction into it and mixed it with Sprite and some probiotic milk by the side. I stared at Maya's hands and watched her mix the drink with a coffee stirrer which she later threw. Maya must've noticed me staring at her and I immediately looked away, feeling my face grow hot a bit. I don't want her to get the wrong impression.
I heard Maya stifle a laugh before turning to me as she handed me the drink she made. Looking into the cup, I saw a pale white drink that smelled more milky and bubbly rather than alcoholic. I shot Maya an eye and she grinned.
"It's soju that I mixed with Yakult and Sprite. I promise, it's not gonna make you drunk." she said as soon as I hesitantly reached for the cup and held it in my hands.
"Are you sure?" I asked as I put up the cup to my nose and sniffed it. It didn't smell terribly alcoholic at all.
"Yes, I'm sure. I kept the soju ratio low and the Yakult high so you'll taste more of the milk and Sprite rather than the alcohol." she said with a winning grin.
I stared at the cup longer before she made her own version of the same drink and put it up to my nose as well.
"Smell that? This one has more alcohol than yours. I'm not forcing you to get drunk. At least drink something from a red cup, wouldn't you?" she said with her hand holding her cup up to my nose. I sniffed it warily and just had to agree.
Hers smelled more intoxicating and it stung my senses, I felt a little bit secure with what Maya gave me the first time. After all, I watched her make it in the first place. I couldn't just let the drink go to waste.
"I won't promise you that I'll like it but I guess this thing is worth trying. Tastes like milk and Sprite, you say?" I asked as I slowly put the cup up to my mouth until it touched my lips and felt the drink go down my throat. It felt fizzy.
"Asian probiotic milk. It's good on it's own if you don't like how it tastes with a little booze." Maya said with a slight shrug and a smile plastered on her face before she raised her cup toward her mouth and drank with such expertise, I couldn't have known she even knew how to.
I sat there, watching Maya drink the entire contents of her cup and as soon as she bent her head down, she wiped the side of her mouth with a sharp thumb and giggled.
"Give it a try. What's there to lose?" Maya said through her laughs.
I tried to force a smile out of me before I looked down into my own cup and felt my throat go dry at the sight of it. I was getting a little thirsty. Why was I so scared of some liquid with milk and soda?
I mustered up all the courage I needed as I raised my own cup up to my mouth and felt the trickle of soju mix down my throat. My eyes widened at the strangely new and addictive flavors, I couldn't help but continuously let the liquid go down.
After one cup, Maya looked at me expectantly with a hand holding a full bottle of soju. This time, without the Sprite or the milk. It was there in her hands, pure and intoxicating. I laughed as I threw my head back and asked her for one more, noting that what she'll make won't get me drunk.
If Athena already had her first real drinking experience in high school, maybe I won't be so far behind in college with a few drinks infused with a little alcohol. It might be about time I get to do normal teenage things. It's just liquid.
"Promise me you won't get me drunk, okay?" I asked Maya cautiously as I watched her prepare another one of her mixes.
She turned her head back at me, her high, black ponytail swinging again. Maya winked.
"I won't. But what I can't promise you is how much fun you're gonna have after a few of these." Maya said giddily as she put up two red cups filled with soju and gave one to me. I thanked her and drank conservatively, this time, sipping only on intervals.
"This is actually good. Where did you learn to make these?" I asked Maya after a sip.
Maya seemed to be on the earlier stages of drunk as she swayed a bit to the loud music with a big smile plastered on her face. She slowly looked down on me and giggled.
"Older cousins. They brought back some bottles of Yakult from Vietnam and we tested out some Yakult soju mix we found on the Internet. Tastes awesome, doesn't it?"
"Surprisingly, it does."
Maya and I clinked our red cups together and drank the night away as we sat side by side on one of the couches inside the dorm room with all the booze. This was fun. I was taking things slow every time I felt my head go heavy and my body hot. I felt as if I needed to barf somewhere after a few more rounds since my eyes seem to lag every time I turn my head in a new direction. Maya seemed to feel the same although hers has more alcohol content than mine. She was more wasted than I think I'll ever be.
As the night grew darker and the music boomed louder, Maya dizzily stood from the couch and went straight for one of the coolers with soju and brought it over to me. I laughed, although at this point everything was so hazy, I just found things funny.
"Why'd you bring that over? Wouldn't others need it?" I asked as I tried to steady my gaze toward the cooler although all I seem to visualize is a blue rectangular box with white handles.
Maya cranked out the craziest laugh I have ever heard and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. She snorted a little as she threw her body back over to the couch and slung an arm over my shoulder sluggishly.
"Because we're gonna drink, silly. Wouldn't you want to experience college as it is? This is so fun." Maya said as she laughed again and grabbed two whole bottles of grapefruit soju and handed one to me.
I was confused at first since I didn't know what soju tastes like without the probiotic milk and Sprite but I surprised myself when I opened and drank it only to taste the exact same flavors of the ones Maya made earlier.
"I don't taste anything different. Is this normal?" I asked her through the loud music.
"It's because that's how real soju tastes like. I only put a little Yakult and Sprite in yours earlier so it'll look milky. I have no regrets." she seemed to declare loudly as she happily raised her arms over her head and slung them over to me.
I felt myself jolt a bit at her quick movements but my head was too heavy and my vision was too hazy for me to move her away a bit. Instead, I just let her be and drank the rest of the soju until it was empty.
After that first full bottle, Maya handed me another.
And another.
And another.
My body felt so heavy and limp, I couldn't move a finger or keep my eyes open. They fluttered to stay awake until I felt Maya move beside me and yawn. She turned to me looking all red-faced from the alcohol and had a menacing yet drunk smile on her face.
"I'm sleepy. Wanna go to bed?" she asked with a giggle.
I felt the same way she did. I couldn't even speak at this point. Everything felt so heavy, I simply nodded and felt my eyes shutter to a close. It was not too soon before I felt myself being scooped from the couch and carried into a soft, plump bed. It felt as if I was brought over to somewhere warm and cozy, I crept deeper into the warmness of it all and let it consume me.
I felt someone lay down beside me. I couldn't bother enough to look up at who it was because whenever I open my eyes, everything turns to a haze. My greatest guess was probably Maya.
"Owen, you still awake?" I heard Maya whisper in a silvery voice. It sent goosebumps running all over and I flickered an eye open to answer.
"Barely." I grunted as I closed my eyes again and was heavily tempted to sleep. I heard shuffles going on around me and yet, I was too tired and too wasted to even care. Maya was probably searching for the right end of the blanket.
"I want to do something." she said, all sultry and raspy. This tone of hers was very unlike her and it was all new to me. Still, I felt very heavy, I couldn't move an inch.
"What?" I stifled.
Maya cranked out a soft giggle before I heard more shuffling in the background
"No spoilers. Just look." she said, tempting me.
At this point, I was a little annoyed with her ruining my sleep, I couldn't help but shoot my eyes wide open, only to grow wider as soon as Maya's bareness shocked me to my core, my vision almost cleared.
She was only wearing a bra.
And had an expectant look on me.
Oh shit.