Chapter 18: Daddy’s Dirty Little Secret: Chapter 18

I rushed into the company bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I bent over and puked everything I ate at breakfast. The greasy sausage roll I had from the fast food place this morning had been a terrible decision, and now my body was making sure I regretted it. I spent the next few minutes leaning over the toilet, my stomach heaving even when there was nothing left to come up. I could feel the cold sweat on my forehead as I sat back, waiting for the dizziness to subside.

After a while, the nausea started to fade, and I wiped my mouth, trying to breathe evenly. The bathroom was empty except for me, which was probably for the best. I couldn’t deal with anyone seeing me like this. I leaned back against the wall, taking a deep breath before I flushed the toilet.

I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to pull myself together. My face was pale, and my hair had fallen out of place from all the retching. I looked like I hadn’t slept in days, which wasn’t the case. I was exhausted all the time. And the bargain breakfast? I’d never make that mistake again.

Just as I grabbed a paper towel to clean myself up, a coworker walked in and gave me a concerned look. I’d seen her around accounting, but I didn’t know her personally.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked in a gentle tone. Her bag, slung over her shoulder, brushed over the counter as she turned to set it down.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile, though I wasn’t fooling either of us. She could clearly tell something was wrong.

“You don’t look fine,” she said, pulling out a mint from her bag and offering it to me. “Here, this should help.”

I hesitated but took the mint, grateful for the small gesture. It wasn’t going to fix the way I felt, but it helped mask the lingering taste in my mouth. I nodded at her, forcing another smile.

“Thanks,” I said, popping the mint into my mouth. I stepped away from the sink, still feeling a bit shaky, but managing to keep it together. I had to get back to Godwin who was waiting at my desk. I’d rushed off before we even got started going over the numbers.

I walked back to my desk, still feeling weak, but I couldn’t waste any more time. The office hummed with the usual noise—people typing away, phones ringing, the steady buzz of busy coworkers. Godwin was sitting down as I approached, looking up when he saw me.

“You look like death,” he said, his voice a mix of concern and amusement. “Did you drink too much last night?”

I shook my head, sitting down at my desk, trying not to slouch. “No. Just ate something bad for breakfast.”

Godwin raised an eyebrow, not convinced. “Are you sure? Because you don’t look like you’re doing too hot.”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, not wanting to linger on the topic. I had spent enough time agonizing over the nausea I was feeling. I wanted to blame the sausage, but I knew there was a possibility it was more than just a bad breakfast. Still, I tried to focus on what I was really stressed about. My dad.

I grabbed the card with Victor Hayes’s name on it from my desk drawer where I stashed it this morning and handed it to Godwin. “I need you to look at something. Do you know this guy?” After coming down from my anxiety-induced panic after Dad bit my head off, I decided I had to look into this guy.

He took the card, his eyes scanning it before looking back at me. His expression changed from casual to serious. “Yeah, I know him. Victor Hayes. He’s a loan shark out of Vegas.”

My stomach flipped again, this time for a different reason. “A loan shark?” The words felt like tiny hammers drilling the truth into my brain very painfully. Dad hadn’t mentioned needing a loan for anything. And why not borrow from Xander? Why a loan shark?

“Yeah,” Godwin said, nodding slowly. “He’s known for being really harsh with people who owe him money. He doesn’t mess around. People get in deep with him, and things … don’t always end well.”

My pulse quickened as I absorbed his words. I hadn’t expected this. “What do you mean, ‘don’t end well’?” Dad was in real trouble here. That ledger with the business card was serious business. More than half a million dollars of serious.

Godwin leaned in, lowering his voice. “There are rumors that people have disappeared, gotten in over their heads, things like that. He’s connected, and he’s not someone you want on your bad side.”

I felt cold, and it wasn’t just from the nausea that still lingered in my stomach. If Hayes was really that dangerous, why the heck was I digging into him? What had I gotten myself into? And what had Dad gotten himself into?

“Great,” I muttered, feeling the weight of the situation settling on me. “Just what I needed.”

Godwin leaned forward farther like he didn’t want anyone to hear him. “Amelia, I’m telling you, Hayes doesn’t mess around. I’ve heard stories—people who’ve had their hands cut off, families attacked. He’s ruthless, and if your dad’s in the middle of that, it’s bad news.”

I felt my stomach turn again, but not from the food. When I finally spoke, my voice was heavy. “I went through my dad’s desk. There was a card with Hayes’s name on it. And the numbers—those dates, the amounts—it’s all there. My dad’s been borrowing money from him. I’m sure of it.”

Godwin’s eyes narrowed. “So your dad’s mixed up with him?”

“I think so,” I said quietly. “The ledger I found—it’s a record of debt. It’s not just some coincidence. My dad owes him money.”

Godwin let out a low whistle, leaning back in his chair. “That’s serious, Amelia. Hayes doesn’t let people walk away from that kind of debt.”

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice steady. “I don’t know what to do. I just know he’s in trouble.”

Godwin nodded, his expression grim. “We need to figure this out. Fast. Before things get worse.”

Godwin was about to say something else when the door swung open with a thud. I looked up in surprise as Xander walked in; his expression was tight, almost unreadable. The way he moved had an edge to it, like something was off. He didn’t even acknowledge me at first, his eyes going straight to Godwin.

“Could we have the office,” he said with a calm voice but with a certain finality that made it impossible to ignore.

I froze. My heart skipped a beat. There was a sharpness in his tone I wasn’t used to, a kind of command that made me feel instantly on edge.

Godwin didn’t argue, but I could tell he wasn’t thrilled about leaving. He glanced at me briefly, his eyes flicking between me and Xander, but without saying a word, he stood up and grabbed his things. “I’ll be outside,” he muttered before walking out, leaving the door open just a crack.

Xander walked over to my desk with precise movements. He dropped a stack of files onto the corner of my desk with a little more force than necessary, and the sound of the papers hitting the wood made me jump. The air in the room seemed to tighten, and I suddenly felt too aware of my own breathing.

“I was going to talk to you about these,” Xander said, his voice clipped, almost cold. He paused, looking at me with a frown that made my chest tighten. “But maybe you’d rather discuss them with Godwin instead?”

I blinked, confused. I could feel my face heat up, but I wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or defensiveness. My mind raced, trying to process his words, trying to figure out what was happening. His sharp tone was unsettling. I’d never seen him like this before. We had no strings, no expectations between us, but now it felt like there were invisible ones I didn’t understand.

I didn’t know how to respond, so I just said the first thing that came to my mind. “I … I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” My voice was small and uncertain. “I didn’t mean to cross any lines.”

Xander’s eyes narrowed, and he shook his head slowly. His lips twisted into something that could’ve been a smirk, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t like what’s happening between you and Godwin during company time,” he said, his voice lower now, like he was trying to make a point.

My stomach dropped. I didn’t know why, but the way he said it felt off. His words were a mix of frustration and something else I couldn’t quite place. Jealousy? Maybe. But he’d made it clear that what we had was casual—no strings, no expectations.

I glanced down at the files in front of me, feeling exposed, like I was suddenly under a microscope. “I wasn’t doing anything⁠—”

“I don’t care what you were doing,” Xander snapped, cutting me off. “I just don’t like the way things are going. If you want to have personal conversations with him, fine. But not here. Not on company time.”

I felt the sting of his words, but it wasn’t just that. It was the way he was acting—irritated, maybe even angry. Was this jealousy? Why did he care if I was talking to Godwin? He’d said it didn’t matter, hadn’t he?

I felt rattled, upset, but I tried to keep my voice steady. “I’m sorry,” I repeated, my tone quieter this time. “I didn’t realize it was a problem. I won’t talk to him again during work hours.”

Xander didn’t respond right away. He just stood there, staring at me, his jaw clenched like he was fighting to keep his emotions in check. I had no idea what was going through his head, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between us.

“You don’t get it,” Xander said, his voice tight, but there was something else there too—something softer, maybe even unsure. “It’s not about what you’re doing. It’s about respect. You’re here to work, Amelia, not—” He paused, exhaling through his nose. “Not to get wrapped up in whatever this is. You need to focus.”

“Focus?” I repeated, suddenly feeling defensive. “I’m focused. I’ve been focusing on my work. It’s just that … I needed to talk about my dad.” My voice wavered, and I cursed myself for letting it crack.

Xander’s face softened for a brief second, but it was gone just as quickly. He shook his head again, more to himself than to me. “Whatever. Just keep it professional, Amelia. I don’t want to see this mess again.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out, leaving the door open behind him. The silence in his wake felt thick, suffocating. I stared at the files on my desk, feeling completely off balance. His words kept echoing in my head: focus, respect, keep it professional.

I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that things were about to get a lot more complicated between us.

I had been completely wrong about him letting his guard down and opening up to me before. And I was glad he hadn’t heard the context of that conversation. Dad would hate me forever if Xander knew he was in debt to this Victor Hayes. Now my heart was broken, because I couldn’t seem to make Xander happy, and I was losing my dad slowly.

Nothing felt right. The whole world felt like it was spinning out of control.