My fingers clutch at the countertop behind me because if they werenât occupied, theyâd already be reaching for a part of him to touch. Theyâd be skimming along his shoulders and combing into his hair. He, however, has no such qualms about touching me. His hands drop to my shoulders before dancing over the neckline of my shirt and then down my arms, sliding along until goose bumps rise in their wake. On the upward movement, his hands round to my stomach where they trace along my ribs and skim to just underneath my bra.
As his hands are mapping my body, his mouth lays waste to the walls Iâd carefully built since I walked away from him and my dead husband. When I canât take it anymore, I release my grip on the counter and push him away.
âOkay,â I say, a bit more breathlessly than I would have liked. âThatâs it. I held up my end of the deal. Now you hold up yours.â
He steps back, his lips flushed pink and glossy, and I have to look away to keep from drawing them back to mine.
âSo you have,â he says a bit dazedly before taking a key ring down from a line of hooks hanging by a door. âThis way.â
âWhere exactly are we going?â
âAccording to intelligence Iâve gathered, Danny and his friends like to meet up at a bar a few towns over. If weâre lucky, theyâll be there, and we can tail them to Salâs place.â
âCan Iââ
âNo.â
âYou didnât even let me finish my sentence.â
âThatâs because chaos follows you around like a shadow. Youâll keep quiet, stay behind me, and do exactly what I say, remember?â
I grumble, but I donât argue. The possibility of finding Danny shuts me right up.
âYou know, if I didnât know any better, Iâd think you were almost excited,â he says.
I ignore the teasing tone in his voice and say, âI assumed you killed them. I mean before we left.â
âUnfortunately, no.â He spares me a short look. âI was more worried about getting you out.â
Color me shocked. Gracin just admitted to being worried about me. I tuck that knowledge away and walk next to him in silence. The short hallway from the security room to the outside spills out into a six-car garage, which is not the same garage I found last week. Iâd be lying if I said I wasnât jaw-droppingly surprised. Even though Iâve been living in his house with his servants, cooks, assistants, and bodyguards, the reminder of his wealth is staggering. Each of the garage bays has a vehicle parked in it. The first has a truck, black, utilitarian and very capable looking. Next to it is an SUV of some kind, same color and very sleekâalmost like itâs one of the government-issue kind Iâd imagine the Secret Service uses. I donât dare ask him how he got his hands on it. The next three spots are high-end sports cars in varying colors and makes.
âJesus,â I whisper under my breath.
The keys jingle behind me, and I turn to find Gracin watching me. He indicates the SUV. âWeâre taking this one.â
I have to swallow to wet my dry throat. âOkay.â
He chuckles. âI donât think Iâve ever seen you so speechless. Cat got your tongue?â
Forcing my legs to move, I climb into the passenger seat as Gracin swings up beside me.
âIâm not speechless . . . Iâm just curious. How is it that you can afford all of this? Or is that an off-limits topic?â
The car rumbles to life, and he maneuvers it out of the garage. I wait as he backs out and then shifts the SUV into drive. âThere isnât a lot thatâs off-limits to you, Tessa. You just have to ask.â
âThen tell me, how is it that you have a mansion and a shit ton of cars? You worked for . . . someone to kill Salvatore, but in what capacity? Why?â Iâve been wondering about him since I first met him, and now that heâs in a talkative mood and we have time, I want to know more.
As he gathers his thoughts, I drink in the view and roll down my window to lift my face to the fresh afternoon breeze. Iâd been allowed to go to the gardens, but thereâs something about being cooped up that takes away its beauty.
âI take contracts for several ghost organizations,â he says, and I jerk my attention back to him, swallowing thickly.
âContracts?â The word is barely a whisper.
He nods, a quick jerk of his head. Heâd put on sunglasses so I canât read his expression behind the tinted lenses. âYeah, Tessa, as I said before.â
His admission steals my breath straight from my lungs, but I gesture for him to continue, not wanting to make him clam up.
He pulls out onto a highway, and I realize I donât even know what state weâre in anymore. Iâd been so out of it after the warehouse that I hadnât thought to ask. The terrain reminds me of California desert, but weâre out in the middle of nowhere. We could be in Nevada or Arizona for all I know.
âI got hooked up with a crowd of bad people when I was younger, and I got a bit of a reputation for being a problem solver.â
âShould you be telling me this?â
âI can tell you whatever the fuck I want. The people I work for pay me because Iâm the best at what I do.â
I lick my lips before I respond. âThat doesnât sound good.â
He shrugs as he merges into the far left lane of traffic. âIt isnât so bad. I had a shit home life and nothing else better to do. I had the skills they needed, and they trained me for a long time to make those skills even more deadly.â
I try to imagine Gracin as a honed killing machine and am staggered when the image isnât as much of a stretch as I think. After all, he managed to fit into prison as a thug so convincingly that he had everyone fooled. I had no idea this man was lurking just underneath the surface. Sure, I had an idea he was hiding something, but never in a million years would I have guessed this.
âToo much?â he asks when he notes my expression.
I clear my throat. âNo, it isnât that at all. Itâs just Iâm realizing I donât know you as well as I thought I did.â
He tips my chin up with a finger. âYou know me better than just about anyone, little mouse.â
That statement says way more than he probably intended, and I hate that I feel bad for him. I hardly know him at all, and if I know him better than anyone else, it means he has almost no one in his life. He doesnât need, want, or deserve my pity, so I just say, âI didnât know any of that.â
He shrugs. âItâs just history.â
âYeah, but I feel like you know everything about me.â
He shoots me a smile, which I donât return. âFine. But only if you answer one of mine in return. Remember?â
I scowl, which causes him to laugh. âFine. What do you want to know? I can promise you it wonât be as exciting as a secret past.â
He levels me with a look. âEverything about you interests me, Tessa, but weâll start with something easy. Why did you decide to become a nurse?â
I blow out a deep breath and smile a tiny smile. âI guess I didnât want to become my parents. They were both minimum wage deadbeats with no options. Nursing always seemed like a steady job with a good income. Something respectable.â
âWhy the prison?â
I laugh. âWell, there arenât many employment opportunities in that part of Michigan, or didnât you notice? At first, it was only supposed to be temporary until I could afford enough money for a move to the city or somewhere warmer. Then I met Vic, and well, you know the rest.â
âWhat were your parents like?â
With a groan, I say, âIs that what you want to know? It isnât what youâd call a happy story.â
âThe real ones hardly ever are. Yes, itâs what I want to know.â
âFine, but first you have to answer one of my questions.â He nods, and I say, âYou mentioned you got into a lot of trouble when you were younger. Why?â
âYou already know why. My dad was a drunk abusive son of a bitch, and my mom was more interested in her next score than raising a son.â
My hand reaches out to touch him of itâs own volition, needing to touch him, to soothe. Having grown up in a house just the same, I donât have to imagine what it was like, I already know.
I may not be sure about what the hell weâre doing, or why I canât stay away, but he hadnât been lying when he told me about his parents. If I doubted it then, I donât doubt it now. âIâm sorry.â
He shrugs. âIt is what it is.â
âI think I get another question because you slipped in several.â
âFair enough.â
âWhat happened to your parents? Are they still alive?â I almost hold my breath. Getting Gracin to talk, to open up like this, feels like a fragile opportunity and I donât want to ruin it.
âNo, they arenât.â
I shouldnât, but I ask anyway. âWhat happened?â
He looks at me, tugs off his glasses, and rubs a hand over his face. âAre you sure you wanna know these things?â
Thereâs a pause while I consider, but itâs a short one. âYes. After what happened in Michigan, I honestly couldnât think worse of you, so it isnât like youâre going to ruin your first impression.â
At first, I think I may have insulted him, but then he smiles. âI guess youâre right, but remember, you asked.â
His left hand lies on the top of the steering wheel, and he rests his right elbow on the center console between us. As he talks, I stare at his arms, at his tattoos, and clutch my own hands between my legs to keep from touching him or pulling him close to me.
âMy dad liked to get drunk, like I said, and he had a fondness for cards. Heâd get wasted and piss away whatever money he had on him, sometimes more. When heâd win, heâd win big, and things would be great for a while. If he didnât spend his earnings on more booze and lousy bets, my mom stole it to finance her meth habit. When they were both dry, sheâd sell her body to come up with the money for her next fix.â
I donât realize Iâm holding my breath until white spots dance in front of my eyes. Slowly, so Gracin wonât notice, I let out the breath and draw in fresh air.
âWhen I turned ten, my father nearly beat her to death, but she was okay enough to go out and overdose.â
This admission shocks me into a stunned silence as I remember the way he looked at me when he first saw the bruises on my arms. Had he seen his mother in me? Is that why he chose me out of everyone to help him escape?
I clear my throat. âAnd your dad?â
âHe went away for a while, and I went to live with my grandma, who wasnât much better than the both of them.â He looks at me, his eyes bright and full of mischief now. âYour turn. Tell me something no one knows.â
This one I have to think about, and when I do, I start talking before I can think better of it. âVic got me pregnant last year. He didnât know because I was afraid to tell him about it. He didnât want kids, or at least that was the impression I got, so I was waiting for the right time to tell him.â A tear slips down my cheek, and I wipe it away. âI didnât get the chance. I did something . . . I canât remember what it was, but it pissed him off enough that he beat me. I wasnât that far along, but the baby didnât survive. I kept it from him because he didnât deserve to know. As far as I was concerned, he didnât deserve to be that childâs father.â
When I glance up, I find that the SUV isnât moving anymore, Gracinâs pulled it over to the shoulder. We rock to a stop.
âWhat are you doing?â I ask as he unbuckles and throws up the center console.
He undoes my seatbelt and pulls me across the console, so Iâm in his lap.
âWhat I should have done a long time ago,â he says and wraps me in his arms. âIt wasnât your fault. It was mine, and I promise Iâll do everything I can to make it up to you.â
He holds me for a long time. Until the tears dry and my emotions steady.
âThe only way you can make it up to me is to make sure they pay for what they did.â
His gaze searches my own, and he nods. âThey will.â