Chapter 31: 28 | the art of co-existence

"Nic? Would you do me a favor and ask Luke to stop hogging all the napkins?"

Callie groans at Avery's request, flickering her gaze between her four friends where all five of them are sat beneath the grand oak stood a stone's throw away from the football field.

Speaking through a mouthful of her bagel she says, "I thought we were over and done with this thing."

"No, they started all over again this morning," Lea folds her legs to the side, reaching for the orange paper up holding her tea. "I've stopped responding to it, I suggest you do the same."

"But everything was fine yesterday! They were laughing!"

Avery shoots the two girls a sideways glare as she drinks from her iced chai. "We're sat right here."

"Yeah, don't talk about us like we're not."

Avery's glare darkens as she whips her head towards Luke where he's sat leant against the tree. "Did I ask you to agree with me?"

She glances over at Nic next, taking another sip of her chai as she raises a brow. Her friend sighs, twisting in his seat to look at Luke. "Avery needs you to–"

"Here," Luke pushes the stack of Beans & Bagels napkins into Nic's hand. "While you're at it ask her to stop slurping that drink so fucking loud."

"Well, maybe Luke should worry less about what I'm doing and more about how he's turning into a certified jerk."

A tired expression passes over Nic's features as he takes a bite of his bagel, a soft sigh escaping him as he falls back against the grass.

"I'm sorry I couldn't hear you over your slurping."

Avery's eyes snap back to Luke. "Go somewhere else if it bothers you so much."

Quick to cut in, Callie flickers her gaze between the two friends. There's a firmness to her soft tone of voice as she says, "No one's going anywhere."

"I am," Lea gets to her feet, clutching her bagel in one hand and her tea in the other. "Figure your shit out. Or not. Let me know what you come up with – I won't talk to either of you until then. I'm done with this childish mess."

Callie and Nic exchange a look as the girl stalks off before quietly getting to their feet too, leaving Luke and Avery behind as they trace her steps towards the main building of their school.

With all of them gone Avery's left to staring at Luke – or rather glaring at Luke.

The first few days of this she'd been hurt. Now she's mostly annoyed.

Which is exactly why she rips a piece of bread off her bagel and throws it at him.

His eyes narrow as it bounces off his face and falls to the grass but the expression is followed by the faintest twitch to his lips and she has to press her own together not to mirror it.

In a way, being mad at Luke serves as a nice distraction. It allows her to put her focus elsewhere, away from the not-always-so-friendly words spoken of her around the hallways. Then again, most of the time it's annoying.

They're not exactly fighting. But they aren't exactly not fighting either.

They co-exist. Sort of.

It's quite like what she had imagined telling him about Ethan would be, though the way it was all revealed seems to have prolonged the aftershocks. Somewhere along the way she grew frustrated at his stubborn state of mind. Now they're stuck in a loop, neither seeming to want to fold first.

If she's to believe the words floating about he apparently did throw a fit in her defense sometime during the days she was gone. Even walked out of practice before it even began, or something. Whispers like those tend to be exaggerated along the rumor mill and she hasn't asked him about it. He hasn't mentioned it either.

It's nice to know he still has her back – in some twisted backwards way – even if he doesn't particularly wants her to see it. Nice to know that somewhere underneath the rough exterior he's still the same Luke she grew up with, her Luke. Though annoyed by his dramatic antics, she misses him too.

A few days ago she tried asking Nic about the rumored spat but he'd only told her to talk to Luke. Considering she doesn't plan on talking to Luke until he talks to her, that wasn't much of a help.

Her phone buzzing with a notification jolts her out of her thoughts, immediately tensing as her gaze falls to the device where it lies screen down in the grass. She's not exactly in the mood to stumble upon yet another unpleasant unsolicited opinion of her life.

Picking at the grass, tearing a green straw into two she notices him shift in his seat. Out of the corner of her eye she sees his gaze flicker between the phone and her, frowning as it buzzes again with the reminder.

"Do you want me to–?"

Lifting her gaze she's met by a raised brow and he's already – though tentatively – reaching for her phone. She nods, heart picking up speed and she presses her teeth into her bottom lip to suppress the wave of nausea washing over her. Suddenly it's as though a breeze of wind has crept beneath her knitted sweater, prickling her warm skin with a slight chill.

"All clear," He says as he turns the screen towards him and a small breath of relief tingles her lips as he holds the phone out for her. "Just your treason buddy making sure you're okay,"

She chucks a slice of tomato having fallen out of her bagel his way as she takes the phone out of his hand.

"Would you stop wasting your food?"

She shrugs, flickering her gaze between him and the screen. Regarding her, he rolls his lips together as if he wants to say something else but then his own phone sounds with a text message – having her grow tense yet again but she relaxes as the same text shows on her own screen a mere millisecond later.

'nic and his inferiors'

Lea: get a move on or you'll both be late

Lea: this does NOT count as me speaking to you by the way

♡♡♡

They're barely halfway into the second quarter of the East-West football game and so far this is one complete shit show.

Though technically an unofficial game – played as part of the tournament held between the two schools throughout the year – it's just as important to the town of Acebridge, another pillar upholding the never-ending tradition of rivalry and competition. So important in fact, that even on this rather chilly Thursday night the stands lining Acebridge West's football field are crowded – voices already hoarse from attempting to cheer either team into pulling themselves together enough to play decently.

Next to her, Lea lets out a frustrated sigh and sinks into a seat. "I'm beginning to think we're never getting out of here,"

Avery holds back a sigh of her own, staring out at the field where yet another penalty is handed out, lengthening the game they all seem to wish would be over and done with already. Lea dusts her hands together before digging into the front pocket of her hoodie, bringing out a bag of M&Ms.

"I think we could use these."

♡♡♡

Callie continues to glance over her shoulder at the two girls every time someone seems to strike yet another nerve with Luke. He's pissed off – in a sour mood whether he's on the field or off it. It's in the way he moves, the way he's stood, the way his eyes are cast to his shoes rather than on the game while he's on the sidelines. He wants to be anywhere but here and with every wary glance Callie throws them it seems as if the three of them are collectively counting down to the second he'll blow up.

He never does though.

If anything, Luke's busy enough as it is to physically make sure there aren't any more near-brawls between his teammates and their opponents.

Near-brawls as the one Nic almost got benched for before the game even began.

He seems relaxed enough now, easy in his step out on the field but Avery suspects it's all an act to appease Coach Owens. Avery and Lea didn't arrive until the first quarter was already in motion but words travel fast and from what they've heard Nic had to be dragged away from what could have turned into a rather physical altercation with a couple of East players. She hasn't missed the underlying implications of the words used to recount the near-brawl, but she's tried to tune them out – for now at least.

As for East, their play is all over the place.

The players are distracted, the communication between them near non-existent and as if having forgotten they have an entire team to rely on each player seems to be doing their own thing. It's far from their usual strategic, leaving everyone – from the people on the field, to the ones on the sidelines to the crowd in the stands – dumbfounded. Even Avery, who knows firsthand from Ethan just how tense things have been within the Ace East Montagues these past days didn't expect it to translate this well into their play. Judging from the few glimpses she's caught of Ethan's face tonight, neither did he.

♡♡♡

Eventually – after what seems to be the most prolonged high school football game to have ever been played – they reach an end as the East Montagues are declared the winners, therewith climbing past West in the overall score of the tournament.

The win has barely been announced before Luke rips his helmet off and walks off the field to Coach Owens loud disapproval. The words simply echo into the air as Luke leaves the scene behind, making no move to turn around to participate in the post-game pleasantries.

Avery bites down at her lip as she watches him leave but she's soon ushered out of her seat, losing sight of him in the process as she walks down the stairs alongside Lea – soon finding herself face to face with Callie.

The girl's pompoms are discarded on the ground next to her, her worn expression etched into her features as she stretches her arms over her head.

"Well that was interesting."

Avery pops a bubble of the gum she'd found in the pocket of her coat in the last quarter, gaze flickering across the field to where Ethan's busy in conversation with his coach. "Tell me about it."

Her view is soon shielded by Nic showing up by their side, the defeat sprawled over his face too – the faint 'what-to-do' smile on his lips faltering as Callie glares up at him from where she's now on one knee retying the laces of her shoes.

"What the fuck dude?"

Lea chokes back a laugh, handing Callie her hoodie as she gets back to her feet.

Nic weighs back on his feet. "I don't want to talk about it."

Callie doesn't hesitate in giving him a light shove to his chest. "Violence Nicolas? Really?"

"You didn't hear what they said."

Callie combs her fingers through her hair twice as it falls over her shoulders, absentmindedly linking her free arm with Avery's. "What did they say?"

Avery doesn't miss the way Nic's eyes flicker towards her before settling on Callie again, pursing his lips. "I'm not telling you. It's nothing."

"You don't throw punches over nothing." Lea points out and Nic scowls.

"I didn't throw any fucking punches," He rubs at the back of his neck. "I only almost did."

"From what we've heard you almost got kicked out of here."

"Just– let it go."

Avery twirls her arm closer around Callie's, weighing back on her ballerina clad feet as she catches Nic's gaze.

"You said you'd try Nic," She doesn't mean her tone to come off quite as accusatory as it does, but she's tired, and slightly worried – about Ethan who's still caught in conversation with his coach, about Luke who's sulking by himself. "Remember?"

"Ave," A flash of reluctance crosses Nic's features and he presses his lips together as if he doesn't particularly want to say the next few words lingering on the tip of his tongue. "If your boyfriend had been around I would have been the one holding him back. Could we talk about something else now?"

She senses the tension set in her shoulders as she nods, swallowing back the bitter taste climbing up her throat. There's a reason Ethan isn't talking to half of his team right now – and from what she's heard she wouldn't put it past those same people to throw around those words while knowing her friends are nearby. Having her suspicions confirmed feels far from a victory though, if anything it only tires her further.

"Someone should probably check up on Luke."

Avery doesn't immediately notice the silence enveloping them at Lea's words, her gaze having drifted to Ethan once more but as neither of them seems to get into motion she turns her gaze in their direction. Her brows knit together as she's met with their awaiting stares.

"What?" She asks and Callie takes a step back, slipping her arm out of Avery's hold, lips in a faint pleading smile. A short breath of disbelief escapes her as she flickers her eyes between her three friends. "You cannot be serious right now."

Nic shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Come on, you know how he gets."

"I'm not doing it. One of you do it."

Lea casts her eyes away to pull at a stray thread in her sweater. "You know just as well as we do he'll only talk to you."

Though that might have been true in the past – Luke's a sore loser, but he doesn't exactly enjoy letting people see it – she's pretty certain she's the last person he wants to see right now.

"He doesn't even like me."

"Ave."

An exasperated breath leaves her at Lea's plead. She may be annoyed at Luke right now but Avery had almost gone after him as soon as he left the field behind before. Some habits are hard to shake.

Adjusting the hem of her denim skirt, she shakes her head slightly – already turning on her heel. "You guys owe me one."

♡♡♡

Most people with a logical sense of thought would probably begin to look for Luke in the home team's locker room. Avery knows the boy better than that, has been around long enough – which is exactly why she pushes open one of the wide double doors leading into the actual gym arena.

The room bathes in darkness, the only light the one slipping in through the narrow windows lining the walls where they meet the ceiling. Her lips tug into a small smile at the sight of Luke in the middle of the court, dribbling a basketball – still fully dressed in his game attire.

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be in here,"

He whips around at the sound of her voice, ball in hand and she doesn't miss the flicker of surprise crossing his features melting into slight apprehension as she walks over to him. Shoving him aside she takes the ball out of his hands and shoots. It doesn't even come close to making the hoop but she throws her hands up in victory anyways.

"And that's how it's done."

Spinning on her heel to go fetch the ball she sees his lips twitch in amusement. Clearing his throat, the smile falters. "Shouldn't you be out there celebrating with your boyfriend or whatever?"

"If you're going to be jerk I'm leaving."

"Sorry."

She throws him the ball before letting her legs give in, sinking into a cross legged seat on the floor.

"Seriously Luke, there are enough people out there thinking God knows what about me. You're supposed to be my friend – so could you do me a favor and just be that for a moment?"

He drops into a seat next to her. "Sorry."

"Stop saying sorry."

He shoots her a tired look before falling back again the floor, peering up at the dark ceiling. "What do you want me to say then?"

"I don't know," She glances over at him, lips slipping into half-a-smile at the sight of him lying there – pads and all. She softens her tone of voice slightly, feeling oddly comforted by the empty hall which somehow smells of detergent and sweat at once. "No one cares about this dumb game, you know."

"Everyone cares about this dumb game, Ave. You know that."

"Why do you?" It's a sincere question and she casts her eyes to her intertwined hands as she asks it. "I mean, it's not like you want to do this once this year is over."

"I like to win."

A chortled breath escapes her lips and she knows it's far from the only reason behind him being upset but she lets it slide. "That's fair, I guess."

"Did you hear about Nic?"

Stretching her arms in front of her she sighs. "Yeah... Interesting night."

"Interesting week," He says. It's not as much of a correction of her words as it is an afterthought and a beat of silence passes between them before he speaks again. "Why didn't you just tell me? I mean – if this thing with you and Taylor is as serious as Callie says it is – why didn't you just mention it?"

"I meant to. Someone just... beat me to it."

"You told Callie."

She regards him for a beat before sighing. "I don't want to talk about that right now. I'm only here because we all agree you need a babysitter."

"I do not."

"Do I have to remind you of the Monopoly incident?"

He lifts his head off the floor, glancing her way. "We said we weren't going to mention that ever again."

"Things change. For one – I wasn't mad at you back then," She dusts her palms against one another as she pushes back to her feet. "Now, do you need me to hold your hand while Owens rips you a new one for walking off like that or can you manage by yourself?"

Luke takes her hand as she helps him up, pushing the other through his slightly damp blond hair. It's nearly the exact shade as her own and back when they were kids she sometimes pretended it meant they were twins. Those days seem ages ago now.

"I'll manage."

"Good. Let's go then."

"Ave,"

She pauses in her step as his hand laces around her wrist, forcing herself to an inhale of air before turning around to look at him. This may be the closest thing they two of them have had to an actual conversation in days but to her they're far from fine, she's tired and she doesn't really want to stay here any longer. This isn't the time, or place, to continue talking about it.

His eyes – bright in their ocean blue shade even in this darkness – searches hers as a cross of hesitance and concern etches into his slight frown. "Is it worth it?"

"Is what worth it?"

"This. Showing up late to these things on purpose so you don't have to sit around and hear the things people say,"  She presses her tongue to her teeth at his words, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as a flare of annoyance rises within her at the knowledge that he's figured out her reasoning without them even having truly spoken these past days. "All the... just– all of it. You jump every time a phone goes off for fuck's sake–"

"It's not like there's anything I can do about all that," She retorts. "The harm is done already."

"But if you'd known. If you'd known this is what it would be like – would it still be worth it?"

Her throat tightens, a clammy sense to her palms as she entertains the thought of choosing anything else over what she has with Ethan – even if it's only for a second. She swallows, a shaky breath leaving her lips as she wills her heart to still.

"Yes. It would."

Luke regards her, brows etching together ever so slightly as he purses his lips and nods once. "Okay."

♡♡♡

"What now?!" Avery exclaims as she bumps into Luke once they step back into the hallway, the boy having stopped in his tracks once again. She's beginning to think he's chickened out on facing his coach but as for her, she just wants to get out of here. It's not until she glances up from her phone – having replied to a text in the group chat with Callie and Lea – she realizes they're stood across from Ethan who's just come out of one of the locker rooms.

"Oh, hi."

Still stood with his hand around the rim of the door, holding it open, his eyes flickers between the two – a twitch to his lips once his gaze meets hers. "Hi."

Luke clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable as he weighs back on his heels. "Well, I'm–"

"Team-wrecker! Long time no see."

Ethan scowls as Jake slips out through the door, shoving him in the shoulder with his free hand. "I swear to–"

"Chill, your girl knows how to fend for herself," Jake's lips pull into that signature cross of a grin and a smirk. "Watch her throw a ball in my face or something,"

His smirk grin only widens as her eyes narrow, casually flipping him off. "See?"

Behind Ethan and Jake another group of East players spill into the hall, flickering their eyes their way before continuing down it towards the exit. Out of the corner of her eye Avery notices how Luke looks between the other three – clearly feeling misplaced in this exchange.

Ethan shoots Jake a tired look, letting the door fall close. "Are you done?"

"Yep," Jake turns on his heel without another word. Not stopping until his hand laces around the handle of the door leading outside. "Bye Team-wrecker!"

Avery winces at the nickname but she barely has time to consider it before she's filled with concern instead. Now that Ethan's scowl has faltered she notices the solemn line of his lips, the flash of defeat crossing his eyes.

"So," Luke begins, already making his way back down the hall. "I'll be leaving now."

"Good luck with Owens."

"Yeah."

She waits until he's out of sight before turning back to Ethan, lips automatically slipping into a smile. "Hi again."

To her relief he smiles too, a twinkle to his dark brown eyes. "Hi again."

"Congrats on the win or something."

"Or something seems accurate," He turns his head over his shoulder, glancing the way Luke just left. "You two on good terms again?"

"Honestly, I don't know," She says and takes a step closer to him. She suppresses the slight hurt rising within her chest at the surprised brow he raises as she holds her hand out for his. Though, he does a good job dispersing it for her as he lets his palm melt into hers – his smile brightening further which only has hers widening too. "So, what now? You have some big party to go to or something?"

"I'm not really in the mood to be around people."

"Are you in the mood to be around me?"

A soft silent chortle leaves his lips. "Always."

"Want to get out of here?"

"Definitely."

"Well," She takes a few steps backwards down the hall, tugging him along. "Let's go then boyfriend."

The beat of her heart lightens as he wraps his arm around her shoulder – their hands still intertwined, pressing a soft kiss to her hair as they walk down the hall together.

"I should probably tell you I promised Ella we're having movie night."

"Oh I know," Avery's cheeks warm with her smile. "I ran into your family earlier – she already invited me."

"Of course she did."

She laughs faintly at his feigned tired expression and she lets a deep exhale leave her as they step outside, the chill of the night a nice change of scenery. "Hey, do you want to see my tree before we leave?"

Ethan's lips twitch in amusement. "Your tree?"

"Well, Nic found it first so technically I guess it's his tree," She's already turning away from the parking lot, tugging at his hand. "Come on, it's this way."

♡♡♡

Avery's brows knit together where she's sat between Ethan's legs on one of the lounge chairs on his porch, grabbing her phone from where it lies on one of the floorboards. The Saturday morning sun reflects itself on the screen as she glances down at it, spotting the caller-id.

"It's Luke."

She sets the cup of tea in her other hand down on the opposite side of the chair, scooting to the end of the lounge chair as she puts the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you home?"

Glancing over her shoulder at Ethan who's already busied himself – head bent over the pages of a paperback – she says, "No. Why?"

"I was sort of hoping we could talk. Can I come to yours later?"

"Hold on," She covers the mic and leans back to nudge Ethan. "When are you leaving for Paul's thing?"

"Three-ish."

"Actually," She says into the phone. "I can come by this afternoon. If that works for you?"

There's an uncomfortable strangeness to this formality. Usually she doesn't know Luke's on his way over until he's stepping through her front door – having used the key her mother keeps at the Adams' house in case of emergencies. And it goes both ways, sometimes she's been sat on the couch with Caia before he's even gotten home from practice or wherever else. It's just how it's always been. Until now, that is.

"Yeah, that's great."

"I'll see you then."

As she hangs up she sticks the phone away under the cushion of the empty chair next to them. Out of sight, out of mind. Ethan shifts in his seat behind her, dropping the paperback back to the floor as he reaches for her.

"You're going to Luke's later?"

She sighs back against his chest, intertwining her hands with his as he wraps his arms around her. "Yeah."

"That's good, right?"

"Might be," She lets go of one of his hands, brows etching together as she runs her palm over the arm of his gray knitted sweater. "Hey, I've been looking for this."

"You've been looking for my sweater?" Tilting her head back, she glances up at him with a sheepish grin and he only smiles as he wraps his arms closer around her – dropping a kiss to her neck with the muffled words, "It looks better on you anyways."

♡♡♡

"I'm still mad at you, just so you know."

Luke's eyes flicker to the pizza in Avery's hand where she's stood on his doorstep. "You're going to throw that one at me too?"

"It's called a peace offering you dumbass."

"But you're still mad at me?"

"Yes."

"Those two don't really go together."

"Would you just go with it?" She shoves him aside, stepping into the house and he rolls his eyes before leading the way into the kitchen.

Watching as he gets the freezer open, setting two pints of her – their – favorite ice cream flavors onto the counter she presses her lips together to hide the smile slipping onto them. "I like the way you're thinking. Take those with you, we're going outside."

Luke shoots her a tired look over his shoulder. "It's cold."

"So? The leaves are changing colors, it's nice to look at. Come on."

♡♡♡

Once they're sat on the trampoline in the backyard she flips the pizza box open and Luke frowns.

"This is just cheese... and mushrooms."

"What? You think I'm going to show up with your favorite?" Avery pulls her legs into a cross legged seat. "I'm mad at you, remember?"

His eyes flickers to the cans of soda lying next to them. "I guess that explains how neither of these is Coke?"

"Look at that, you're catching on."

She reaches across him to grab a slice of pizza, motioning for him to do the same. This is what she'd originally planned when she thought she would be the one to tell him about Ethan. Though, back then she had planned on showering him in his favorite things. But things change – these are their new circumstances. He said he thought they should talk, so they'll talk. Whoever sent that video of her and Ethan may have robbed her of the opportunity to tell her friends about them but that doesn't mean she can't continue with her original plan – only now it's slightly altered.

"Look, Ave–"

"No," She says, mouth full and she quickly swallows down her bite as she holds her palm up. "I want to go first."

There's a slight quirk to Luke's lips, a flicker of apprehension crossing his eyes but he leans back on his elbows nonetheless, waiting for her to speak.

"Ethan and I are together," She begins, straightening up in her seat as she smooths down the fabric of her beige cardigan. "Yes I know what I'm doing – no, he's not using me to get to you."

"I–"

"I'm not done," She says and Luke closes his mouth again. "I get that you're hurt or whatever but I don't have the energy to soothe your bruised ego. All these people thinking they're entitled to say whatever they want about me and my life because of some stupid town tradition? That's enough to deal with as it is, so if you can't be decent enough to not add to that I– ... I don't know. For what it's worth I was planning on telling you. Someone else got around to it before me is all."

He's heard those last words before, the other day when they spoke after the game but she doesn't think it'll hurt to repeat them. He waits another beat as if to make sure she's done talking this time before he sighs.

"I don't think he's using you to get to me – or us," He rolls his lips together, casting his eyes to the slice of pizza in his hand. "Okay, maybe I did think that. For a little while. But I know he isn't – you're smarter than that."

"And he's better than that."

His gaze flickers to her again at her words, regarding her with slightly pursed lips and for one short moment she wonders if he's about to dispute them but then he says, "I probably could've handled these past days better."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Didn't I tell you to stop saying that all the time?"

"I am though."

"Good."

♡♡♡

They're halfway through the pizza as Avery breaks into the pint of strawberry flavored ice cream, shifting out of her seat to lie propped up on her stomach instead. Scooping some of it onto her spoon she glances over at Luke.

"It's not like I planned for this to happen you know. It just did."

"You and Taylor?"

"Yeah."

He raises his brows, grabbing another pizza slice. "Whatever you say."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Ave," Luke scoots back to lean against the safety net, speaking through the mouthful of pizza. "You've had a crush on this guy forever."

"No I–" Avery stabs the spoon into the ice cream for another bite, brows dipping together. "No I haven't."

A chortled sound escapes her best friend and she whips her head over her shoulder to glare at him, only causing another much louder laugh to escape him. "For the past three years you haven't gone a week without mentioning him. It's always Ethan Taylor this, Ethan Taylor that."

She bites down at her lip, cheeks tightening as she tries to hide her smile. "That is so not... true."

"Oh could you get that damn look off your face?" Luke asks, groaning. "It's gross enough to know you spend your free time kissing Ethan Taylor, I don't need you to make it obvious you're thinking about him by grinning like you've been hit by Cupid's arrow."

"You mean the way you look every time Lea walks into a room?"

Her lips pull into a satisfied smile as she turns her head over her shoulder to fully look at him, spotting his narrowed gaze. "That was uncalled for."

"If you get to talk to me about Ethan I get to talk to you about Lea."

"There's absolutely no logic behind that statement. Taylor's your boyfriend," Even as he says the word Luke grimaces and Avery picks up a discarded piece of pizza crust to chuck his way. "And Lea's just... Lea."

"You're doing the smile thing."

"Shut up."

"We're so talking about it."

"No."

"Luke, come on," Avery runs the spoon along the rim of the ice cream, twisting around into a seat to face him. "I've stayed quiet about this for thirteen years–"

"No you haven't. We've had this exact conversation at least one hundred and fifty times already."

She rolls her eyes at the exaggeration. "And you shut me down every time. I say it's time we have a little talk."

♡♡♡

The few slices of pizza left have grown cold by now. The pints of salted caramel and strawberry ice cream runny from the condense having formed on the packaging. Her fingers are slightly numb from the increasing chill as the evening sky turns darker by the minute. In a way it feels strange to talk about these things with Luke but at the same time it unfolds so naturally. It's just the two of them being them. Falling in and out of silence. The way they always have.

Still, Avery doesn't tell him her every thought. Maybe it's because Lea's her friend too – and she doesn't necessarily feel like untangling every aspect of the girl when she's not around. Or maybe it's because it's less about Lea and more about herself, and maybe she wants to keep these things to herself for a while longer.

So she doesn't tell him her every thought. She doesn't tell him that – despite their friend having been several short-lived relationships – she doubts Lea's ever been in love. Lea loves love. She loves the butterflies. To Avery, Lea's been in love with the idea of love. Several times. But as quickly as Lea falls, just as swift she is in finding someone else. In finding the next person to give her those butterflies. Avery doesn't think she's ever seen the girl sad upon breaking up with one of her boyfriends.

And that's why she doubts Lea's ever been in love. Lea grows bored when the initial butterflies passes into warm smiles and embraces – into peace.

Or maybe she's wrong. Maybe they're simply wired differently, but Avery can't help but to think of the weeks she spent away from Ethan.

Can't help but to think of how she barely could stomach a meal, how she couldn't bring herself to even think about going on a run. How doors were slammed around her house or how she spent hours upon hours staring at the same page of a book. She thinks of how it felt upon seeing Ethan in Beans & Bagels that day when she, for one brief moment, thought she would actually throw up. Avery spent twenty-seven days without Ethan. They may just have been the worst twenty-seven days she's ever experienced in her life, and she's had some bad days.

She turns her head to glance at Luke now where they're lying on their backs on the mat of the trampoline and as he mirrors her action to glance over at her he rolls his eyes. "You're doing the thing again."

"What thing?"

"The 'I'm thinking about Ethan Taylor'-smile. Stop that – it's gross."

"I'm happy Luke. Just let me be happy."

"I'm trying to," He sits up, grabbing one of the cold slices of pizza before glancing down at her. "Look, I'm not completely oblivious okay? I've noticed something's changed – I just didn't realize it was him. I thought maybe your dad wasn't being an ass for once or something,"

She doesn't mean to wince at his words but as he does he sighs.

"I know I know. He's doing his best," As she still doesn't say anything his eyes narrow ever so slightly. "What?"

"It's nothing."

"What's nothing?"

She swallows as she senses her throat tighten. She's not sure if it's from the reminder of her father's latest way to disappoint her or if it's the frustration that comes with the realization it still bothers her. Either way she'd rather just try to forget. Though, peering up at Luke she realizes he's not about to let it go and so she lets the words out in one breath.

"They went without me. To Orlando."

A huff of disbelief escapes Luke's lips. "Are you serious?"

"No, I'm joking."

"Ave–"

"It's fine. I'm fine."

"You don't have to say it's fine."

She rolls her eyes at the words, averting her gaze to the now night-dark sky. "You sound like Ethan."

Out of the corner of her eye she notices his mouth set into a slightly puckered pout, his eyes narrowing further but he remains silent – simply reaching across her for the pint of salted caramel ice cream.

♡♡♡

Avery's eyes trail Ethan's fingers as they trace patterns over her legs where they're draped over his in the wide armchair in the upstairs reading nook of his house. Leaning back against the armrest, she presses her teeth together as she thinks back to part of her conversation with Luke yesterday. Her eyes cast to her hands as she scratches at the remains of her chipped nail polish, trying to make sense of her mind.

She glances up as Ethan's hand pauses over her knee, his brows slightly knitted together as he reaches over and brings out a faint smile of her by lightly tapping her temple. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important."

It's not exactly true but the last thing she wants to do is hurt him. He's done enough to try to reverse the assumptions made about them. About her. About him. In her opinion maybe he shouldn't have – if he'd just rolled with was said maybe there wouldn't be a rift in his team right now. Still she knows it was less about him and more about her, and she's happy he thinks highly enough of her – of what they have – for not giving those assumptions any room. However, there's no reason for her to bring it up when there's nothing else he can do about it.

"Waters."

"Really, it's nothing. It's nothing we can change anyways."

"Tell me."

She lets a small sigh of defeat slip through her lips as she casts her eyes to her hands. "I just... hate how it's like you're patted on the back for all of this while I have to– well, while I'm not," Glancing up she notices his jaw clench and she tries to suppress the slight guilt rising within her for bringing this up. "I know you've tried to make it go away so that's not why I'm – it just sucks a bit, is all,"

As he doesn't speak, his jaw still clenched and his dark eyes staring out at nothing in particular she reaches over to gently cup his cheek. "But I'm okay. More than. I am. 'Cause I have you."

Her soft-spoken words has his lips twitching up faintly, his cheeks lifting with his smile – defining his cheekbones and he laces his hands around her wrists to tug her closer. It's quite a feat in itself considering they're already sat all tangled in one another but he manages, arms looping around her as he presses a light peck to her temple.

"Yeah you do."

As her lips crack into a smile another small thought makes itself heard in her head and she pulls back slightly, letting her finger trace one of his cheekbones. "Can I ask you something?"

His brows etch together ever so slightly but he nods. "Always."

"That night at the beach, the party – when we kissed," Her smile falters, wary of not wanting to destroy their peaceful day. "Was that you adding onto your tally?"

"My what now?"

"You know what I'm talking about," She lets her finger gently trace his jaw, his skin warm beneath the pad of it. "Your thing with Jake. Was I just another name to add to your list? I mean – it's okay if that's what it was. We didn't know this is where we'd end up but... Was that what it was about?"

"I'm pretty sure you made the first move."

"Answer the question."

He reaches up to tuck an errant strand of her hair behind her ear, fingers falling to walk over her shoulder as he speaks, "I wasn't even thinking about that dumb shit that night."

Momentarily distracted by her gaze dropping to his lips she blinks and a faint smirk sprawls over Ethan's features. She narrows her eyes, only having that smirk widening. "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why weren't you thinking about it?"

A silent laugh escapes him. "I was a little bit too preoccupied thinking about you."

Her eyes flutter shut as he punctuates his words by pressing a kiss to her lips.

"You're just saying that."

"As previously stated," He points his finger into her dimple, causing her cheeks to tighten with her soft smile. "Oblivious."

"Am not."

"Are too," He laughs. "Avery I was leaving because I couldn't get you – or your laugh, or how your hand felt in mine only a few days before, or the way the bonfire seemed to cast you in this golden light, or the way your lips fell into that pursed pout when you thought I was there with Rhea, or how you kept walking back and forth in the sand as if balancing on a tightrope or something, or your nonsense rambles about out-of-towners – out of my head. And then you came running after me in that damn yellow dress–"

"And you rejected me."

"I'm pretty sure I made up for that a few seconds later."

She can't hide the beaming smile growing on her lips, cheeks warming from his words – letting them play on a loop in her head. Warmth runs through her veins at the small knowledge of the effect she had on him even back then and she leans forward to brush her lips over his with one word, "Maybe."

His fingers gently come up to hold her chin in place as she's about to retreat, kissing her again. "Besides you were the one who tried to play it off like nothing afterwards."

"You told me to go back to my friends."

"I'm pretty glad you didn't."

The skin around her eyes creases with her ever-growing smile. "Yeah I am too."

His gaze flickers over her face as she lets her fingers sprawl though his hair, twirling one of his short dark brown curls around her finger. Being with Ethan is easy.

Even in her mind she can hear the contradiction to that word. With this past week, with the way they've had to sneak around before that. Thinking back to how she had been so convinced there was no way for them to be together they'd ended up spending an entire twenty-seven days apart. Nothing about those things fall within the definition of easy but somehow the word is the first coming to mind as she thinks of the two of them together. It just is. Easy.

He's back to tracing patterns on her skin now, bringing her out of her thoughts as he taps his finger to her leg twice. "Hey."

Letting her palm melt into his, she drags her lip between her teeth with a smile – practically feeling the twinkle to her eye as her gaze meets his. "What?"

"With you it's never been about anything else but you."

. . .

I just wanted to say hii and that I appreciate you all so SO very much.

much love always, yours

linn