Chapter 38: chapter 38

SHIVA“Are you sure you want to go to the school today?” I ask Gowri for the third time. We are having breakfast together. Yep, together. “Yes. I am already on the bad side of my lead. I don't want to worsen it,” she replies meeting my gaze.We hold each other's gaze for a few seconds. Today, I can see the light hint of brown shade in her otherwise black eyes. She is back to her normal self but her eyes lack that normal flippant attitude in them.“Shiva, do you think I am fragile that I couldn't handle being in the same place as Jay?” she asks.Something in her tone and the way her eyes turn dark making the brown disappear tells me that this is an important question to her and the answer I am going to give her is also significant. So, I answer honestly.“First, I don't think you are fragile. No woman who has faced sexual assault is fragile. It is just I want you to be okay. I don't want to see you like that again. Shaking and afraid of that coward,” I tell holding her gaze. She lets out a relieved breath. She suddenly takes my hand in her hand surprising both of us. She gives a small squeeze that makes my heart flip. She tells in a soft yet firm tone, “I am fine. I am still afraid of him and it will take me time to accept what has happened to me. But I have to go to work today.”I grind my teeth in anger, “You know he should be the one who must fear you.”She gives me a small smile and says, “It would be nice if that happens. But...,” she trails away looking dark.Oh, God! I am being ridiculous here. “Sorry, I know it is easy for me to say that facing him is not a big deal. But it will be difficult for you. Whatever it is, just remember you have me,” I tell squeezing her hand back.She gives a full smile and continues eating with her right hand while her left hand is still clasping mine. I look at our intertwined hands. Why does her hand fit inside mine perfectly? I like the feel of her hand in mine.“Gowri, for what it is worth it, do you want to file any complaint against Jay?” I ask when she has finished her breakfast. Yes, I have decided what to do with that coward. Filing a complaint against him at the police station is one among them. She quickly shakes her head, “I don't want anyone to know this happened to me. Especially my parents. They would start nagging me to quit my job and I don't want to quit it.”I consider her for a moment. When I am sure she is damn serious, I shrug and say, “Okay, your wish. But let me know if you change your mind.”🍀🍀🍀🍀GOWRIMy final day at the RLM school. Alright Gowri, you can do this. All you have to do is stay away from that coward as much as possible. At that thought, a shudder goes down my spine but then Shiva's words come to me.‘Remember, you have me.’That one sentence reassures me beyond anything. I stand before the counsellor's room as the memory of yesterday comes to me. Should I really go in? This was the room where my nightmares came true.I put my hand on the handle and push it open but the door doesn't budge. Only then do I see it is locked. I dial Renu madam's number as confusion plagues my mind. She picks it up at the fifth ring.“Good morning Gowri,” she greets in a cheery tone. “Good morning, madam. I called you to say that the door to the counsellor room is locked.”“Oh! Sorry, I forgot to inform you. You are shifted to a new room in the main building of the school.”Whoa! So after all, I don't have to go inside this room.“Why suddenly?” I ask.“Well, I will be honest with you. It was Shiva. He called me yesterday night and asked–no more like ordered me to shift you to the main building. He explained that it was difficult for students to walk the long distance for counselling and some change their minds about telling you the problems halfway and turn away. So, he asked me to put you in the new block.”HOLY GOD! Shiva! How did he exactly know that I would feel uncomfortable in this room?🍀🍀🍀🍀The new room is small compared to the old one but I am not complaining. Even a cowshed is a thousand times better than the old room.“Hey,” a junior lecturer greets me coming inside the room. She has finished college and this is her first job. She is a friend I made here this year.“Hi,” I say. “So, today is your last day, huh?”“Yes,” I reply relieved.“Ok, then give me your number. So, if in future I am facing depression or something then I can get counselling for free,” she says with a grin. I grin back.“You can have it but if it is serious depression then consulting a psychologist is best,” I say. “Let us just hope, that won't happen to me,” she says waving her phone at me. I tell her my number and she saves it. “So, do you know one of our staff is leaving us, all of a sudden,” she tells with her eyes turning sad and voice going low. Alright! Which staff can have this much effect on her?“Who?” “Jay sir,” she replies picking her nails. It takes me a lot of effort to keep my face neutral and unaffected.“The one who takes chemistry for higher classes?”“There is one and only one Jay in our school and that is he,” she tells pointing out the window. I shouldn't have followed her line of sight and looked out the window. Because as soon I see out, I spot Jay under a tree. I find it difficult to breathe and the same fear grips me in terror. He is still his usual self but there is a bandage across his nose and another one on his right brow. I remind myself I am safe and take deep breaths trying to look normal as much as possible.“He had a minor accident, yesterday and injured himself. Though that bandage looks hot on him,” she tells buying every lie Jay had told her.“Why is he leaving?” I ask wondering if this is also Shiva's doing. “Dunno, but it is a sudden decision. Renu madam is not telling the reason. Nor does Jay sir,” she tells.“Why is the world like this?” she asks after a minute with an undertone of anger in her voice, “Jay sir is a gentleman. He compliments me daily. Those compliments give me a confidence boost. He always tells me that my smile makes him dizzy. That is not something a woman would hear daily.”HOLY FREAKING DAMNED HELL!So, Jay Is A Player! “Yeah sure,” I reply to the poor girl's complaining and add inside my head, ‘Sometimes, you never know what that compliments really mean.’ 🍀🍀🍀🍀“Can I come in?” a male voice asks followed by rappings on the already open door.A smile tugs on my mouth as I reply, “Yes.”Shiva enters the room with a concerned look and sits on the chair before me. “So, is this room okay? How are you feeling? How did the first half day go? Did he try to talk to y-”“Alright! Alright! One question at a time,” I say rolling my eyes at him. “Sorry. Just wanted to know if you are okay,” he tells giving an apologetic grin.“So, for your questions. This room is fine. No, strike that. Perfect. Thanks for giving me this room. I am feeling good. The day was average. No, he has not tried to speak to me. He never crossed my way.”Shiva sighs. “But,” I start and tell him about my conversation with the Junior Lecturer.I expect Shiva's face to show surprise but there is a blank expression on his face. That is when it clicks, “You, already know?”His expression is grim and his tone gentle as he tells, “Yes. After what happened to you yesterday, I found everything about Jay. Who is he really? Who hired him? Whose recommendation he used to join here and all sorts of those things. I also found some disturbing truths.”“Like what?”“Well, he flirts a lot with women. He chooses a few women who he thinks are harmless and then tells them or rather lies to them about how he is in love with them. He woos them until they fall into his trap. When he is sure the woman would do anything for him. He asks her to prove her love by sleeping with him. When the physical relationship is over, he starts behaving differently toward the women. Like aloof and distance. Then after a few days, he breaks up with her.”I gape at Shiva with my mouth wide open. That is not what I expected. “So, I was his first assault?”Shiva shakes his head, “One of his ex-lovers did suicide. Another one has tried to but was rescued. A couple of charges on him for the motivation of suicide. There are no charges on him for assault but like I said he chooses women whom he believes are not a threat to him. The ones who will not go to the police or the ones who will be still pinning after him even if he throws them away.”A shiver runs down my spine. Oh God! This is way worse than any news. But everything makes sense now. He thought I was harmless because of my parents' ideologies. I remember how sympathetic he was towards me. All because he wanted to sleep with me. But that is where he made a mistake. Judging me wrongly because of my parents. But he was in one way correct. I was fragile. But people it is a ‘was’ but not anymore. Not after I faced my worst fears. I am no more afraid of that coward. Angered? Yes. Raged? Yes. But definitely not fear.🍀🍀🍀🍀