Chapter 16: Chapter Sixteen

“J’adore l’été,” Jocelyn said as she sucked on her pink Ring Pop. “Le soleil et la sensation, c’est la vie!”

She smiled at me, green lipstick stretching over her natural lips. Her hair hung straight in high pigtails she wore on either side of her head.

I lifted my camera to my eye and snapped a photo of a dog as it stomped down the street. “You know I didn’t take French in high school, right?”

“Oui,” Jocelyn said, snapping a picture on her Polaroid. “Je sais.”

I sighed and thumbed through the last ten photos I had taken. None of them looked quite right. None of them captured what this day felt like.

I lifted my camera and scanned the area again, looking for my next shot.

“You never told me where you accepted,” Jocelyn said, hanging her camera around her neck. She was wearing a fuzzy crop top and pinstripe dress pants. I was sure she was dying in the heat.

I shrugged as I took another photo of the same Golden Retriever. “I didn’t accept anywhere. I’m going to take a gap year.”

Jocelyn lifted her pale eyebrows. “They always say you never make it back to school if you take a gap between high school and college.”

I said nothing. Secondary school didn’t seem all that important to me these days. Not when I was destined to be Clan Mother of a group of witches. What degree was going to help me with that?

The dog moved at the last moment, ruining my shot. I sighed as I deleted the photo and reset the focus.

“I feel like I’ve taken photos of everything in this town,” I said. “Maybe I’ve taken everything’s photo twice.”

Jocelyn pulled her heart-shaped sunglasses over her face. “Tell me about it,” she lamented, “that’s why I can’t wait to get out of here. Je dois partir.”

Frustrated, I shut off my camera and shoved the lens cap on. I shoved my camera into its bag and slung it over my shoulder, standing and brushing off my shorts.

Jocelyn looked up at me, her light brows furrowed.

Seeing her had been a mistake. I had hoped that by seeking out my old friend I would find some peace, some normalcy.

But all afternoon Jocelyn had annoyed me, she talked about trivial things that no longer pertained to my world.

“I have to go,” I lied, “forgot I was helping my mom with the shop tonight.”

Jocelyn stood too. “About that—Kale has been spreading some pretty nasty rumors about you.”

I felt a chill run through me. “Saying?”

Jocelyn shrugged, pulling at the pink fuzz of her shirt. “The usual stuff, I guess. That you and your family are witches, that you’re evil, that you do animal sacrifices and scary séances.”

Jocelyn wiggled her fingers and laughed. When she saw how pale I had become, she frowned and lowered her hands. “Morda? What’s wrong?”

I felt my face burn. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier?”

Jocelyn lifted a thin shoulder in a shrug. “It’s just the usual stuff, isn’t it? Kale’s been saying this sort of shit since we were freshmen, I didn’t think it was groundbreaking.”

I heard Kale’s voice in my head. Heard him the day he was in my mother’s shop and he demanded I give him a love potion to make his girlfriend love him again. I heard him say I would regret helping him.

Jocelyn was right. This would have been the usual stuff. I had been dealing with my classmates teasing me about my family since I was in middle school. But it was different now.

Kale felt scorned by me, and now I knew the truth. Somehow I felt like the fact that I could no longer brush Kale’s teasing off as nonsense gave him more power over me.

“I need to go,” I mumbled, grabbing my things and turning to leave.

Jocelyn pulled her Ring Pop out of her mouth and yelled after me, “He was handing out flyers down the street from your mother’s shop!”

I grumbled to myself, wondering why I was even friends with Jocelyn. I kept my hand firmly on the strap of my bag as I worked my way across town.

Nerves built with every step I took as I thought about the conflict I was walking into.

I had never stood up for myself in high school. I took whatever bullshit the other kids threw at me, deflecting what I could and internalizing the rest.

It wasn’t until I wandered into this new life that I realized I didn’t have to take anyone’s crap.

I turned the corner and swore, tucking myself into the nearest wall and peeking out around the edge at Kale and his friend. Jocelyn had been right. They were handing out flyers.

Kale hailed anyone in sight, drawing on the tourists and the locals who were too slow to avoid his approach.

I worked up my courage for a few minutes before pushing myself off the wall and heading straight for Kale. His friend nudged his arm when he saw me approach. Kale turned to me wearing a smug grin.

“Witch,” he greeted, handing out a flyer for me to take.

I sneered at him and snatched the flyer. My blood ran cold.

^Morano Witches. Let Them Hang. Roseburg Witch Trials. Easterbrooke Park. 07/15/16.^

“What the hell is this?” I seethed, crumpling the paper in my hand.

Below the text was my yearbook photo pasted beside a picture of my mother next to her shop on the day it opened. It had been featured in the newspaper years ago.

Kale smirked as his friend shifted awkwardly on his feet. “A mock trial,” he said. “Of course, the dummies will be hanging regardless of whatever evidence they provide.”

“You’re sick,” I spat. “Is this because of the stupid love potion?”

Kale shrugged. “This is because you snuffed me. Because my girlfriend dumped me over you. Because this magic freak show has been going on long enough.

“Because it’s a Saturday night in this deadbeat town and there’s nothing else to do. Does it really matter ~why?~ Huh, witch?”

“Do you really think anyone will go to this?” I asked, throat burning.

Kale didn’t seem perturbed at all by my outrage. “You’d be surprised how many Americans believe in witches and how many more believe that witchcraft is sacrilegious.”

“Stop handing these out,” I demanded, “cancel this stupid gathering, or else I’ll get the police involved.”

“Do it,” Kale encouraged, “my dad’s a cop. I’m sure he’d love for you to walk into his station and tell him all about how his eldest son is a delinquent. I’m sure he’ll get right on arresting me.”

“What if I gave you the love potion?” I offered, the words burning my mouth as they left it. “What if I could make Britt love you again?”

Kale quieted down. It was his buddy who piped up. “Fuck no—we don’t want your voodoo shit, witch.” I glared at him.

Kale cocked his head to the side, straight teeth gleaming. “If you can make Britt love me again before next weekend, then I’ll call it all off.”

He held up his hands. “Honestly, I will. If you come through for me, I’ll make sure no one gives you a rough time.”

“Fine,” I spat, reaching forward and grabbing the flyers out of his hands and then grabbing them from his friend. I gritted my teeth as I tried to adjust the hefty stack in my arms.

“I’ll get you a stupid love potion, and you can go back to sucking Britt’s face off and leave all this shit alone.”

Kale laughed. “You didn’t have this much spirit in high school.”

I just looked at him, wondering why four years in a different building had made him hate me.

As soon as he had ditched the acne and dropped the water weight, he had moved on, pretending we hadn’t played together as children, hadn’t confided in each other.

I remembered when his parents divorced, remembered holding his hand.

I didn’t say another word as I pushed past Kale, catching his friend’s shoulder with mine. I trudged forward, trying my best to keep ahold of the flyers as they threatened to fly away.

Tears collected hot and fast in my eyes as I headed toward the main street, toward the bakery, and toward Grant.

I was walking quickly, my head tucked down into my chest as tears started slipping down my cheeks.

I hated myself for crying, but I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, couldn’t stop the back of my eyes and nose from burning.

I knocked into someone, my hands flying out to catch myself. Flyers flew everywhere, riding the gentle wind as they made their way to the ground.

I cried out as a hand clamped down around the top of my arm, stopping my fall and saving my face from connecting with the pavement. I knew that touch.

“Morda?” Ben rumbled, pulling me upward and turning me to face him. “Are you all right?”

I wiped at my cheeks angrily. “I’m fine,” I grunted.

I bent down and started collecting flyers, holding them tight to my chest in the hopes that he wouldn’t see what was on them. “I thought you were gone.”

Ben didn’t answer me as he bent and picked up a flyer, tawny eyes taking in everything from the photographs to the crude reference to the Salem witch trials.

When he was done reading, he scrunched the paper up and threw it into the trash can a few paces away.

He caught my eye and gave me a tiny smile. “It’s all bullshit,” he said, “every word.”

I didn’t answer him as I continued grabbing papers, feeling more and more like it was an impossible task as they started to blow across the street.

Ben jogged after them, collecting all of the stray flyers as I worked my load into a manageable pile.

“Thanks,” I said as Ben came back, arms full. I moved to the trash, but Ben shook his head, holding out his hand for me to take.

I stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, not sure what it would mean if I took it. He was patient with me, waiting the full minute it took me to lock my fingers with his.

We walked through the town quickly, coming to the edge of the small wood on the opposite side of town.

Roseburg was surrounded by forest, but this side was by far the barest. It was nothing like the northern forest Ben and his friends had been inhabiting.

Ben pushed his flyers into my arms as he ran around, piling up rocks and lugging a fallen log over to the small clearing. I watched him patiently, following his movements with my eyes.

I was surprised by how relieved I was to see him. I had truly thought he was going to disappear forever.

“I couldn’t leave,” he rumbled as though he had read my mind. “I couldn’t leave you, it wasn’t right.”

Finished, Ben stepped back and wiped his hands on his jeans before turning and taking the papers from my hands.

He threw them into the middle of the makeshift fire pit he had created and reached into his pocket for a lighter I never knew he carried.

He motioned for me to sit on the log he had lugged over and then lit the first flyer on fire. He threw it on top of the pile, and soon Kale’s heinous words were burning.

Ben sat beside me, careful to give me space. I gazed into the flames, feeling some of the pressure dissipate from my chest. I needed this. I needed Kale’s message of hate to be burned to ash.

It felt right to triumph so completely, at least in this small way.

“What about Will and Fitz?” I asked.

“They moved on,” Ben said. “They had to leave with Oak. I told them I would catch up a week from now.”

I resisted the urge to grab his hand. “I am sorry, Ben, for whatever it’s worth. But you must know that whatever mess we’re in now, it was never my intention to make it.

“I stumbled upon you and Grant without even knowing that I was setting magical bonds into action.”

Ben quirked up a small smile. “I know,” he said, “that’s why I couldn’t leave. My anger vanished as soon as we left. I had to turn around.

“Grant may be able to offer you more than I can, but I can give you every ounce of my loyalty. Grant’s right, as much as I care about Will, Fitz, and Oak, they can never be my true pack.

“So my loyalty belongs to no one, unless you ask for it, then it’s yours.” Ben drew in a long breath.

“Grant will always be a part of a pack, whether it’s Cerberus now or the White Wolves later, he’ll always have an alpha demanding obedience.”

I didn’t want to think about Grant, not when I was with Ben, not when I was looking into tawny eyes and falling deeper.

I didn’t have the headspace for the White Wolf as I let my eyes roam Ben, drinking in his features: his crooked nose, his dark mussed hair, his russet skin.

“With me, you will always come first. Whatever I can’t give you, I will help you take for yourself.”

Slowly, I reached for his hand. I felt power in our touch, felt it resonate deep within me as it echoed from his bones.

When we were connected, it was as though I could ~feel~ every energy-charged particle that made up my body. I felt strong. I felt powerful. I felt whole.

“We’ll never be a perfect couple,” Ben rumbled as I slid closer, taking up his other hand.

“I’ve never liked perfection,” I answered.

Ben’s eyes searched my face, landing briefly on my lips and sending a new type of thrill through me until heat was burning my face, the pit of my stomach. “It’ll never be easy between us,” he murmured.

“I’ve never liked easy.”

“It won’t be simple,” Ben said, eyes burning into mine.

I answered by pressing my lips to his. A rush of energy surged through me, twisting my stomach and lighting my skin on fire.

Ben answered my kiss by sliding one hand to my jaw and the other to my waist. His lips were soft and firm on mine, his stubble grazing my chin and cheeks.

We moved closer, my chest pressed against his as he ran his hand down my side and lifted my legs onto his lap. I answered by pressing my fingers into his skin, through his hair, down his neck.

Ben groaned as I tugged on his hair, lifting his lips from mine to press them against the skin of my neck and then to my ear.

“Ben,” I breathed, instinct arching my back as his teeth grazed over my skin. He dragged his face along mine, his lips connecting once more as his front teeth nipped at my bottom lip.

I offered no resistance as I opened my mouth for him, allowing him to explore as much as he wanted.

His hands rested on my hips and then heaved me sideways, planting me firmly in his lap as his hands came to rest on my lower back.

Fire and excitement were running through my veins, animating parts of me that had laid dormant until this moment. Ben kissed me hard, his hands leaving my skin raised wherever they landed.

Ben’s lips left mine to plant a burning trail of kisses down the column of my throat, over my shoulder, up my neck. My breath was heavy as I took in every spark of sensation his lips offered my body.

I clenched my fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck and the collar of his shirt as he kissed just under my ear, igniting my body completely.

Ben’s laugh rumbled over my skin, only intensifying what I was feeling.

I placed my hands on either side of his stubbled jaw, ready to take his lips again, when I caught a pair of antlers in the distance.

My own laugh squeezed itself from my lungs, sounding breathy and lustful.

“We have an audience,” I told him, chest rising and falling rapidly as I came down from the high. “There’s a deer just behind us.”

Ben turned around to look, a frown pulling over his face. “Where?” he asked. “I don’t see it.”

I laughed again, the sound sultry and foreign to my ears. “Right there,” I said, pointing in his line of sight. “How can you not see it?”

The stag had taken a few steps forward, its upper body and face now exposed.

The deer was a proud-looking animal. Its antlers were massive, each point reaching desperately for the sky above. The animal’s eyes were intelligent, holding my gaze with an almost eerie focus.

Its neck was gruff, massive amounts of fur rolling over to its shoulders, giving it an air of importance and power.

Ben chuckled. “I don’t know, you must have a better eye than me.” We both knew that wasn’t true.

“It’s right there,” I whispered, not wanting to spook the animal as it took another step closer.

Slowly, I pushed myself off Ben, coming to stand on the other side of the log. I heard Ben stand behind me as I took a few steps forward, hand outstretched.

Maybe I should have left it alone.

“Morda,” Ben called, “there is nothing there.”

The deer watched me as I approached, dark eyes glistening. The fire crackled and popped, but the deer held my gaze, not spooking easily.

As I walked forward, so did the stag. After a couple of steps, the deer’s entire body was out of the bushes, robbing the air from my lungs with his beauty.

I lifted my hand a little higher as I approached. “Hi there,” I cooed, hoping my voice was gentle and reassuring.

I pushed down wonder and excitement as I stopped right in front of the massive creature. “Wow.”

I raised my hand and laid it on the side of the stag’s face. The creature leaned into my touch, massive antlers tilting to the side. Its fur was rough underneath my palm.

I looked over my shoulder at Ben who was staring at me with worry and panic. I looked back at the stag, knowing somehow that it wouldn’t hurt me.

“Morda…”

I turned to Ben who was walking toward me and then back to the deer.

The stag looked over my shoulder at Ben, and its nostrils flared, ears pinned back as it took a few steps backward and then ran, springing off into the trees.

Ben touched my arm and drew my gaze away from the deer to his face. “Morda, are you okay?”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself. “I’m fine,” I told him. “It wasn’t going to hurt me.”

“There was nothing there,” Ben said, his voice calm. “You were looking at nothing.”

“There was a deer there,” I corrected, “a stag.”

“I didn’t see a deer,” Ben said, taking my hand. “Let’s go, the fire is out.”

I raised my hand to my face, my mind whirling. “Maybe it was some sort of sign,” I offered, “maybe you couldn’t see it because it was only for me.”

Ben nodded, squeezing my hand in an attempt to reassure me. “I believe you. A few wolves in the pack I grew up with claimed to have communicated with the Moon Goddess; it isn’t completely unheard of.”

“This supernatural stuff might kill me,” I joked.

Ben didn’t smile. “You’ll adjust.”

We walked quietly through the streets. Despite being in Roseburg, where Cerberus had been patrolling only days before, Ben seemed to be at ease as he led me by the hand.

When I asked, he said that Will, Fitz, and Oak had led a false trail to the south that they were sure Cerberus was following.

“Thank you,” I said as we neared my house, “for not leaving. For finding me today. For burning those flyers. For being there.”

Ben pulled me to a stop in front of my house, hand gripping mine.

My house was mostly dark, a low light lit in the front windows behind the heavy curtains my mother set up in our living room on the weekends. She was probably doing a reading as we stood there.

“I’ll always be there,” he promised, “as long as you want me, until you tell me otherwise I will always look for you, will always find you.”

I felt a shiver run through me as he laid his hand on my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

I thought of his promise, of what it meant to him to be able to find me when he’d never be able to find his own kind.

I pressed my lips to his gently, taking my time to show my appreciation for his vow. Ben held my face delicately, his lips moving with mine. Excitement coursed through me, along with a foreign feeling.

I had never had this sort of intimacy with someone, this sort of ease. To be able to kiss him freely, to be able to touch his face and his neck, to feel vulnerable and powerful at the same time.

It slowly forged me into a new person.

“Ben,” I said as I pulled way, “I—”

“Morda?”

“Holy Goddess, Morda! You sly ~punk~,” my aunt screeched.

My entire face lit up. I dug my face into Ben’s shoulder, waiting for the embarrassment to crescendo. Without looking, I knew my mother and my aunt were standing on my front porch.

They had seen me kissing Ben, and now I was going to hear an endless stream of nonsense about lovers and Venus.

I felt Ben lift his hand in a wave.

“Don’t encourage them,” I whispered, keeping my face against his skin.

I wasn’t sure if I had the strength to face them. Wasn’t sure if I could endure the endless teasing that was sure to come from my aunt.

Slowly, I peeled my face off Ben’s T-shirt. I grimaced. “Hey, guys.”

My mother raised an eyebrow. My aunt gave me a thumbs-up.

“Inside,” my mother commanded, turning and disappearing into the house. My stomach knotted with nerves. No doubt she was going to lecture me about getting involved with wolves.

I turned to Ben. “Thanks again, for everything, I’ll see you soon.”

My aunt laughed. “She meant both of you.”

I turned to Ben who had real panic in his tawny eyes.

He was about to meet my family.

Goddess help him.