Evening, after school.
I stood in front of the 11th-grade science class 7, waiting for the owner of the breakfast box to come out.
Not long after, the girl I was looking for exited the classroom, engrossed in conversation with her friend until she noticed my presence.
"I'll head out first."
Her friend excused herself, deciding it was best to leave Rachel and me alone.
"Okay. See you tomorrow."
I pulled something out of my bag, returning what she had given me this morning.
"Thanks for the breakfast." She smiled. Then, we started walking while chatting.
"Did you like it?"
"It was good. Maybe because I was starving."
"I'm serious." She pouted playfully.
"But really, it was delicious."
"Want me to bring you some again tomorrow?"
"Uhm... Well..."
"I'd be really happy if you ate my cooking again." She stopped, hoping to hear the answer she wanted.
At first, I wanted to refuse. I didn't want to trouble her. I didn't want to complicate things. The breakfast this morning was just a token of gratitude, something that happened once, and I appreciated it. But seeing her happy and smiling as she offered, I found myself saying...
"Sure, if it makes you happy."
"Okay! What do you want me to bring tomorrow?"
"Anything. I'm not picky."
"Alright. Don't worry, you'll love my cooking."
I just smiled, listening to Rachel's cheerful chatter.
"Hey, is someone picking you up?" We stopped at an intersection. I was heading to the motorbike parking area, and she seemed to be going toward the main gate. I had no idea why I suddenly asked that question.
"Yeah. Why? You want to take me home?"
"Uhm... But you already haveâ"
"If you want to take me home, I'll just tell my driver that I'm going with a friend. You brought your bike, right?"
"Uh... yeah."
"Great. I'll wait for you in front." She then casually walked away. Honestly, she seemed like the opportunistic type. Usually, I wasn't fond of girls like that. But this time, something felt different.
***
Vroom! The growl of my sports bike echoed as I sped down the asphalt road.
"Are you heading straight home?" asked the girl sitting behind me.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Hmm... Want to go somewhere first?"
"Where?"
"Taman Puring."
"Taman Puring?"
"Yeah, the Taman Puring Market. Just to browse. I want to see if there are any good shoes. It closes at 5 PM."
I was surprised at Rachel's suggestion. I wanted to ask why, but I held off until we arrived.
"You don't like malls?" I asked while following Rachel through the maze of shoe stalls.
"I do. Why? Oh, you think I'm a total mall girl, huh?"
"..."
"I like malls. But I prefer hunting for stuff like this. You can get a better deal hereâsometimes even better quality than in malls."
"Oh, yeah? But aren't most of the things here knockoffs?"
"When I'm here, I don't really think about that. If I think it looks good, then it's good. But I don't just buy anything. Which one?" She held up a pink sneaker with a checkmark logo and a blue one with three stripes.
"Let me see."
I examined both shoes, bending them slightly, checking the stitching, and assessing their quality.
"I'd go with this one." I handed her back the pink sneakers.
"But I like this one more."
I sighed.
"Hehe, sorry. Girls, you know?"
***
Since then, my relationship with Rachel had grown closer. We spent a lot of time together. Studying, hanging out.
At the library.
"Wisnu, how do you solve this? I got stuck in the middle."
"Which one?"
"This algebra problem, Newton's binomial theorem."
"Oh. You got this part right. Now just follow the probability calculation." I helped her with the final step and let her do the math.
"Oh, right! You're so smart, Nu."
"I am."
"You're so full of yourself." She pinched my cheek and blushed.
***
Once, we were late together.
We both arrived ten minutes after the school gates closed, meaning we couldn't enter. She got out of her car, and I stepped off my bike.
"Sir, can't you open it just for a moment?" I asked the security guard.
"I could, but not until 8 AM. If I let you in now, I'll get in trouble."
"Forget it, let's just ditch today." Rachel casually suggested skipping.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Let's be rebellious for once. Oh, wait, but you're already bad, aren't you?"
"Rachel." She was right, but I still pouted in annoyance.
"Haha. Just kidding, Nu."
So, we spent the entire day riding around the city, going on an impromptu adventure from morning until evening.
***
Overall, Rachel was completely different from most girls I had met. She was fun but never forced it. She was cheerful, as if she carried no burdens in life. She was intelligentânot just academically, but also socially. She was active in the student council. She even tried to recruit me, but I declined. She was smart, not just on paper. Conversations with her always flowed naturally, no matter the topic.
One night, while we were eating street-side gultik chicken, still wearing our school uniforms, she suddenly asked:
"Hey, Nu. Do you really like fighting?"
"You already know that, don't you?"
"But I've never seen you hanging out with Bopenk's gang."
"I used to love fighting."
"And now?"
"I still want to, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"You like it when I fight?" I teased.
"Well, yes and no."
"The part you like?"
"I like it when you stand up for peopleâlike when you helped me that day."
"Is he still bothering you?" I cut in, curious.
"No, he hasn't come near me since. But... honestly, I don't like violence. I believe that not every problem has to be solved with force."
"..."
"But back then, I couldn't do anything else. Maybe I was just really angry, or maybe I was... mesmerized by your aura while defending women."
"Uhuk, uhuk." I choked on my food.
"Eh, Nu! You okay? Here, drink this." Rachel handed me a cup of water.
"And what don't you like about it?" I asked.
"I don't like it when you get hurt."
"Uhuk, uhuk." I choked again.
"What's wrong with you? Here, drink more." She refilled my cup and handed it back to me.
***
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months.
For the past three days, Rachel suddenly changed. Out of nowhere, like a switch flipped. A complete 180-degree turn. She left my texts on read without replying, ignored my calls, and avoided eye contact when we met. What's going on? Typical girls. Or maybe all girls are like thisâmaking guys turn into psychic. The problem is, even psychics mostly are just guessing.
"Nu, are you fighting with Rachel?" Nico, pretending to pay attention to the teacher, interrupted my nap.
"Hey, Nu. I'm being serious."
"What do you want? You're just disturbing my sleep."
"Are you guys mad at each other?"
"How do you know? Stop acting like you know everything."
"Rachel told me herself."
"..." I ignored him and tried to go back to sleep.
"Hey, Nu. Answer me. Rachel wants you to confess to her, you know."
"What?!" I shot up from my seat.
"She said that to you?" I asked.
"Yeah. So, are you waiting for her to confess first? Come on, Nu. Girls don't usually confess first. What's wrong with you? You're the bad boy, the genius even. But when it comes to love, you suck."
"Hey, now you're insulting me?"
"Well, it's true. Don't you feel bad for Rachel? You're leaving her hanging. Do you even like her? Or do you just want to be friends? For your information, every guy in this school is chasing after herâfrom freshmen to seniors. Even the teachers, from the young bachelors to the divorcees. She's been giving you hints, but you're too dense to notice."
"..."
"Just ask her out already. You two are perfect together."
"HEY! What's all that noise in the back?!" Ms. Tini, our strict physics teacher, snapped, annoyed that her geometric optics lesson was being interrupted.
"Sorry, ma'am. Nothing's going on," Nico replied politely, trying to cover for us.
"If it's nothing, come to the front and solve question number nine."
"Great. Now I'm the one getting punished," Nico whispered to me.
"Go on. Here, use my notebook."
"Wow. You're awesome, man. Everything's solved with full explanations. Thanks, bro."
After taking three steps, he turned back around.
"Oh, one more thing. Rachel really likes you."
"..."
I needed to talk to Rachel.
Later that afternoon, after school.
I waited for Rachel in front of her classroom. I had to confirm if what Nico said was true.
Soon, the girl I was looking for came out with her friends. One of them noticed me first, then Rachel, who quickly averted her gaze.
"Let's go, Vi." She linked arms with her friend, trying to walk away.
I adjusted my pace to match theirs.
"Rachel, I heard everything from Nico. We need to talk." She kept walking, pretending I wasn't there.
"You want clarity about our relationship, right?" I stopped right in front of her, forcing her to halt.
"Let's talk this through." She finally looked at me, her expression softening.
"You go ahead, Vi," Rachel said to her friend, Vivi, clearly conflicted.
"Okay then, see you later, Chel."
"Yeah, take care."
"Wisnu." Vivi gave me a quick nod before leaving.
Rachel and I sat in front of the school's health room, near the soccer fieldâa quiet spot where hardly anyone passed by after class.
Two minutes passed. Neither of us said a word. I had no idea how to start.
"Did you ask me to come here just to sit in awkward silence?" she said, clearly annoyed.
"Rachel."
"What?" Her tone softened slightly, though still laced with frustration.
"About our relationship..." Rachel looked at me intently, waiting for me to continue.
"I want you toâ" She leaned in slightly, as if anticipating the words she'd been hoping to hear.
"..."
"I want you to stop ignoring me. Lately, I've felt really uncomfortable with how distant things have become between us."
Her expression shifted, not at all what I'd hoped for. She looked even more upset. Then, she gently patted my shoulder.
"I was the fool all along. I had too many hopes with you."
"..."
"Well, that's it. I'm going home."
"I'll walk you back?"
"No need. I can manage on my own."
"Rachel."
She ignored me.
"Rachel."
She kept walking, her back getting smaller as she grew further away.
I sighed.
What did I do wrong?
Honestly, I didn't know how to say what I really felt. I'd never dated anyone before. I never planned to date anyone. I didn't understand love or relationships. All I knew was the comfort and happiness I felt when I was with her.
"Hey, Nu. What are you doing here?" Nico suddenly appeared.
"Nothing. Where are you headed?"
"Getting my bike. Heading home. Man, you look miserable. Did you talk to Rachel?"
"Yeah."
"And? What happened?" He sat down next to me, curious.
"Nothing changed. If anything, it got worse."
"Oh, come on. You still didn't say it, did you?"
I shook my head.
"I don't get it, man."
"Let me ask you something. Would you be okay if she belonged to someone else?"
I shook my head.
"Would you be okay if someone hurt her?"
I shook my head again.
"Do you love her?"
I stared at my seatmate for a moment.
"..."
Then nodded.
"There you go. Now call her. Tell her how you really feel."
Without overthinking, I dialed Rachel's number.
Three times it rang. Three times she didn't pick up.
I glanced at Nico, who nodded encouragingly.
"Call her one more time, Nu."
On the fourth try. My heart raced. I paced back and forth in front of Nico, trying to calm my nerves.
Tuuut. Tuuut. Tuuut.
Come on, Rachel.
She picked up. I stepped away from Nico for some privacy.
"Rachel."
"What do you want now, Nu?"
I took a deep breath. Come on, tongue. Work with me here.
"I... I really likeyou. I want you to be my girlfriend."