"What's wrong?" Talia asks in the middle of the traffic on the way back.
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You look upset."
Should I tell her? Share with a woman I just met twenty-four hours ago? Could she be a friend to me? I know she's a good person. But for this matter, I feel it's too sensitive to discuss with a woman.
"I'm really fine." I choose to keep things to myself.
"Okay." Talia seems uncomfortable, maybe affected by the atmosphere.
"How was it at the hospital today?" I ask to change the subject.
"I treated two heart patients earlier. It was just light consultations. One was in his fifties, and the other in his twenties."
"In his twenties?" My interest piqued.
"Yes. He was accompanied by his adoptive mother for a medication check-up."
"Adoptive mother?"
An interesting story. I turn down the radio volume, focusing on her story while keeping my eyes on the road.
"He has Asperger's syndrome. He has no biological parents or guardians. To qualify for a heart transplant, he needed someone who would take care of him post-surgery."
"Then, an experienced nurseâclose to sixtyâvolunteered to be his guardian. She did it simply because she wanted to help."
I'm amazed by her story.
"So, there is someone even more 'Mother Teresa-like,' huh?" Talia smiles.
"Did you do his heart surgery too?" I ask, curious.
"No, it wasn't me. A senior doctor performed the operation. I was just assigned for the consultation part."
We arrive at my apartment's basement parking. I get out of the car, and so does Talia.
"Alright, see you next time, doctor."
"Can I come by often?"
I know what she means. But...
"It's better not to. Your boyfriend might get upset."
"If I had a boyfriend and he didn't mind, could I still come by? I just want to be your friend."
"Haha. Sure, but not in the near future. There are a few things I need to sort out."
"Alright, 'mysterious man.' Don't forget to brush your teeth, wash your feet, and pray before you sleep."
"Yes, doctor. Drive safe."
"Bye, Wisnu."
"Bye, Talia." She heads to her car, and I make my way to the lobby elevator.
That last conversation was just small talk and a polite decline, I think. Who knows if we'll meet again or not.
***
Three months. Three months. Three months.
I toss and turn in bed. I've been trying to sleep since nine, but even at one in the morning, I can't shut my eyes. Dad's words from earlier today keep echoing in my mind. Does he think finding a spouse is easy? Should I just ask them to arrange a marriage for me and be done with it? But what if I don't like her? I wouldn't be happy.
I grab my phone, hoping for some clarity. I know this is impolite, but I'm stuck.
"Yes, son." Mom's gentle voice comes from the other end.
"Mom, you're still up?"
"I was, but I woke up because you called."
"Sorry, Mom."
"What's wrong? Can't sleep? Still thinking about what happened earlier?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Don't dwell on it too much, son. Take it easy. Finding a partner won't be difficult for you, as long as you're willing to open your heart."
"That's the hard part, Mom."
"I know how you feel. But that's in the past. Let it be a memory, and open a new chapter. Besides, she's already moved on and is happy, isn't she?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Try, son. You need to learn to accept reality. She's not meant for you. That's the key."
...
"Wisnu. Now follow me. Clear your mind. Take a deep breath. Hold it for ten seconds. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Do it three times."
I follow her instructions.
"How do you feel now?"
"Better, Mom."
"Now turn off the phone, close your eyes, and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow will be better."
"Thank you, Mom."
"Take care of your health."
"Yes, Mom."
The call ends. I've heard advice like this many times before, but it feels different hearing it from my own mother.
***
The next day, I decide to follow Mom's advice and start searching. I turn to a dating app. Why not go through friends or relatives? Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to disappoint anyone close.
I download the app, enter my personal information: name, age, occupation, hobbies, music preferences, movie preferences, favorite food, favorite drink, and so on. The more complete, the better. Then, I upload photos that I think look good. Oh, one more thing. I add a little description:
"Looking for a life partner. Beautiful, smart, kind-hearted, and humble."
With my profile set up, I start swiping. Swipe left, not interested. Swipe right, maybe. Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left. I look at a profile, doesn't fit, swipe left again.
Fifteen minutes in, my thumb mostly moving to the left. After two hundred and fifty-seven left swipes, I finally swipe right. And it's a match.
Hmmm... Okay. I'll try chatting.
"Hi."
"Yes, hi there."