Chapter 34: Chapter Thirty-Three

We pulled up in front of my house, and Jonah paused before turning to me.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, a slight grimace on his face.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Yeah?"

"I'm nervous," he said, fidgeting in his seat.

"Relax, you know my dad already likes you," I reassured him. "And my mom's always nice to everybody. You're gonna be fine."

"Okay," he said, but he was still unconvinced. "I've never really been invited to a friend's house before," he admitted in a small voice, slight flush painting his cheeks. "I've never really... had friends before. You knew that already."

I watched as he played with the top button of his light brown shirt, until he finally settled with leaving it open. When he finally looked up to me, I showed him a smile. "We're just gonna eat dinner, and talk a little bit—my whole family's probably gonna air out all of my dirty laundry in front of you just for fun. Maybe even pull out my terrible baby pictures."

He chuckled at that. I noticed that his posture relaxed a little, and I felt relieved.

"If something happens and you wanna go home early, just give me a signal and it'd be no big deal at all. Okay?"

He nodded at me and I went to get out of the car. After taking a few deep breaths, he followed me out. I went to get Daisy from the backseat of the car, but Jonah beat me to it. "Let me take her."

"No, I'll carry her."

"I'll do it."

"It's fine—"

He silenced me with a look, and then we were just having a stare down, until I finally blinked first and he smirked smugly. He cradled the doll in his arms before I could even touch her, slammed the door shut with his shoulder, and stared at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on in."

I led him up to the front porch and paused to let him prepare himself mentally. He shifted Daisy in his arms—he had already mastered how to carry a baby properly—and nodded at me, so I opened the door and walked inside.

I took off my coat and carried it in my arms, and then turned to Jonah. "You can hang your coat there," I told him, pointing at the coat stand in the corner of the living room. "Gimme," I said, reaching out to take Daisy so he could take off his coat.

While he hung his coat on the stand, I slung mine over the back of the couch in the living room, and I waited until he was done before walking inside the dining room.

"Mom, we're here," I said, popping my head into the dining room. Mom immediately looked up, abandoning the pieces of utensils she was putting on the table, her face lighting up into a big smile once she spotted Jonah behind me.

I placed Daisy down on Cole's old feeding chair, making sure she wouldn't slip down and fall. Mom was walking over toward the noticeably nervous Jonah, who stood awkwardly before offering her a handshake. My mom clearly noticed his discomfort and took his offered hand, patting him slightly on his arm.

"It's so good to finally meet you!" Mom gushed once she'd let go of Jonah's hand.

He smiled politely. "Likewise, Ma'am."

She waved him off. "No need to be so formal. Call me Jenny. You kids can wait in the living room while I get the food out. I'll call you guys in once Charlie gets home, alright?"

"Sure, Mom," I said, dragging Jonah back into the living room. As if on cue, my little brother came running down the stairs before throwing himself into me, his arms wrapped around my waist. I ruffled his hair. "What's up, kiddo?"

He buried his face in my stomach for a few seconds before pulling his head away and staring at Jonah questioningly. "Who's that?"

"That is my friend Jonah," I told him, peeling his arms off my waist. "Jonah, this is my little brother Cole. Cole, say hi."

Cole stuck out his hand and Jonah took it, shaking it a few times.

"Hi," Jonah greeted awkwardly, and I grinned at him.

"Are you Hannah's boyfriend?"

The smile on my face dropped and I glared at the kid, my face getting warm. "No, he's not."

"Good for you, 'cause she sucks," Cole said, earning himself a small grin from Jonah.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, flicking him on the nose. "Traitor."

He swatted my hand away. "Go away, I wanna talk to Jonah."

Jonah glanced at me with his eyebrows up, and I shrugged at him. I narrowed my eyes at Cole. "What do you wanna talk to him about?"

Cole sniffed at me. "Guy stuff. You wouldn't understand."

I pursed my lips, ready to launch some excuses why I wouldn't let the two alone to conspire against me, but then a robotic cry rang out from the dining room, followed by Mom's call.

"Hannah, she's crying again!"

I groaned and said to Cole, my finger pointing at him warningly, "I'll be back."

I went to the dining room and immediately took Daisy, checking what's wrong. When I saw that she was in need of a diaper change, I immediately went to the living room to get her bag that I'd left there, passing by the guys who, of course, were talking in whispers. Well, it was mostly Cole whispering at him while Jonah just smiled lightly and nodded along, and I just walked and rolled my eyes at them.

So I changed her diaper, and she was still crying. I sighed and began feeding her while simultaneously rocking her in my arms. Ten minutes went and she was still crying, and my head began to throb.

"Jonah," I called out. His head snapped up. "Backup, please. My arm's starting to hurt."

He said something to Cole, and the my brother nodded. I gave Daisy away to Jonah, letting him sway the baby back and forth in his arm while I rubbed my arms.

"What did you guys talk about?" I asked curiously, looking over to Cole who was watching the TV absentmindedly.

"Like I told you. Guy stuff," Jonah said. I rolled my eyes at him. "It's a secret, Na-Na."

I groaned at the nickname Cole first gave me when he'd just begun to learn how to talk. My whole family couldn't stop laughing at me for weeks after Cole had basically called me a grandma. "Please don't call me that."

"Why not, Na-Na?" he asked, grinning. "You know you love that."

"No it's not, Jo-Jo," I threw back, smiling when I saw his grin drop. "I need this baby to stop crying."

"I know," he said, looking down at the strange creature in his arms. Through his eyelashes, he glanced at me with a weird look in his eyes, and I frowned.

"What?"

He pursed his lips. "Don't laugh at me."

I eyed him weirdly. "Why would I?"

He didn't answer as he turned his focus back on Daisy. He held her a bit higher in his arms, positioning her ear next to his head... and then began to sing quietly.

"She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky..."

I grinned as his choice of song while he tried so hard to ignore my presence, the bright red flush appearing all over his cheeks down to his neck.

I decided to sing along, and I could tell that he was surprised by that. But he kept singing with me, our weird, far from professional, voices blending together over the sound of the doll's cries.

"Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long

I'd probably break down and cry..."

He finally looked up to my grinning face, a small smile appearing on his face when he realized that I wasn't about to tease him mercilessly for singing to an inanimate doll.

"Oooh, sweet child o' mine," I hummed when he stopped singing to just stare at me. It was now my turn to blush, but I kept singing. "Sweet love o' mine."

He finally sang again, still as quietly as before.

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I'd hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain..."

I looked down as the weight of his eyes on me got too much for me to handle, and finally noticed that something was missing. Daisy's cries.

"Would you look at that," I said in awe. "She actually stopped crying."

"Yeah," Jonah agreed. "It actually does work."

I took Daisy back into my arms, brushing her stiff blonde tuft of hair in complete wonder.

"She's been crying less since I start singing to her. So I've been doing that lately," Jonah added with a shrug. The blush had disappeared from his face, now that he was sure I wasn't gonna laugh at his singing.

"Where did you even get that idea?" I asked him.

"I used to sing my sister to sleep," he explained. "I ran out of ideas and was about ready to give up."

I grinned. "You seem to use your sister as an excuse a lot," I said. "Does this sister even really exist?"

He glowered at me. "Shut up."

[]

Dinner was going pretty well.

Jonah was sitting next to me, with my parents sitting right across. Cole was sitting on the other side of the table, happily munching on Mom's chicken casserole. My dad was making small talks with Jonah about the diner, despite Mom's insistence to not bring up work to the dinner table. At one point, mom chimed in to start some conversations to get to know Jonah, and thankfully she was doing it gently so she wouldn't scare Jonah off like I'd feared she would.

Conversations were still going once Mom brought out the dessert; her classic apple pies. Pretty fitting, since we were currently having Jonah, codename Apple, at the dinner table with us.

"Where do you wanna go after you graduate?" Mom asked Jonah, after a bit of small talks about favorite school subjects and extracurriculars.

He smiled politely at her—like he'd been doing a lot in the past thirty minutes. "I'd like to be close to my family, so I'll probably attend the local community college here, Ma'am," he replied, and I could see my mom holding in a good-natured eyeroll at the fact that he was still calling her Ma'am. "Although, I've also been looking at other university options."

Mom smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't worry. You've still got a few good months to think it over."

Jonah smiled back and nodded, before turning to me. "What about you?"

I gave him a sheepish smile. "Well, I want to study acting, so..."

Mom rolled her eyes at me. "She wants to follow her sister on their shared unrealistic dreams," she told him, and he chuckled.

I pouted. "It's not unrealistic!" I defended. "Leann's slowly making it big in LA. She'll be coming home with an Oscar anytime now," I said positively, exaggerating a little. She'd done a few commercials so far—mostly as a background, unnoticeable character—but whatever.

"And I'm sure she will. As will Hannah," Dad interjected, lightly elbowing Mom. He'd never been as fussy as Mom when it came to our education. Mom always wanted us to pursue something like law or medicine or IT. I shuddered just thinking about it. Dad continued, "Our two Oscar-winning daughters."

I smiled and stuck my tongue out at Mom while she rolled her eyes at me good-naturedly. She didn't really have anything to worry since we had Cole anyway—he was definitely the smart kid in the family. He could probably cure cancer one day.

"It's funny because my job is supposed to be actor in this project," Jonah said, turning to me. "She's supposed to be an English teacher."

My mom's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Really? She never told us that," she said. Then she told Jonah, "Did you know that I used to teach elementary school?"

I groaned. "At one point she was my principal and it was totally weird."

Jonah's grin matched Mom's. She asked him, "Which elementary school did you attend, Jonah?"

He shook his head at her. "I only just moved to town sometime in middle school."

"That's a shame," she said. "You should've been there to watch me embarrass the heaven out of Hannah." Everyone laughed except me, and even Dad started recounting some of the embarrassing stories of me back when I was younger. Cole, having not been born around that time, listened intently with a huge grin on his face, high-fiving Mom while I sat there burying my face in my hands. Jonah nudged me and I snapped my head at him, catching the teasing grin he had on his face.

I was glad to see that Jonah was at complete ease here, sitting among my family and joining in our weird conversations. He laughed along a few times, and after a while, he would sometimes be the one starting another conversation, instantly catching my parents' interest while I was just sat there with a smile on my face. He didn't appear as nervous as he had been in the car earlier, which was good.

After telling Jonah that he should come over for dinner again sometime, Mom ushered us out of the dining room. Jonah offered to help wash the dishes but Mom declined, saying that Dad would be helping her anyway. He finally took baby Daisy from the feeding chair and we went out of the dining room, following Cole who was already perched on the couch, watching some documentary on the television

"So," I started. "Wanna come upstairs? Or do you have to go home already?"

He shrugged. "I can stay a little while."

He followed me up, and hummed as I showed him my room—more specifically, the crib I'd neatly set up for our fake doll baby. I had old toys scattered around inside the crib and everything.

"You can put her down in the crib," I told him.

Jonah walked over to put Daisy down while I went to the mirror near my closet, loosening my hair from the tight ponytail and running my fingers down to loosen the knots. From the reflection on the mirror, I could see Jonah's eyes on me, and once he realized that I'd caught him staring, he instantly blushed and turned away. I smiled a little, feeling a blush coming up on my own cheeks.

"It's a pretty large room," he said, his eyes roaming around my room. He went over to the small bookcase on the wall, his fingers lightly brushing over my collection of books. He nodded in appreciation.

"I used to share the room with my sister when we were younger," I told him, sitting down at the edge of my bed. "It became all mine once she went away to 'chase her dreams'." I reached over to grab the cardigan I'd left on the floor and put it on the bed. "Sorry for the mess," I said, embarrassed.

He waved it off before sitting down next to me.

"So, how was my family?" I asked him.

"They're nice," he said. You might think he sounded short, or curt, but there was a warmth in his voice as he said that, and I knew he meant it.

"Did you have a good time?"

He nodded with a smile. "Thanks for inviting me to dinner."

I nodded back. "You're welcome. By the way, I told you they'd gang up to make fun of me. At least they didn't bring out the baby pictures."

He chuckled, and then silence settled between us. We just sat there for a while, him taking in the sight of my bedroom and me taking in the expressions that appeared on his face. After a while, he finally turned to me.

"Twenty questions?"

"Okay."

He asked, "Do you think your parents like me?"

I scoffed. "Definitely."

He nodded to himself, almost in relief.

"My turn." I paused. "Why were you so nervous about the dinner?"

He looked down sheepishly. "I told you, I'd never really had friends before. And I wasn't sure if I would leave good impression on them."

"Why do you care if they'd like you or not?"

"It's not your turn to ask," he said, then asked, "Is it true that you still pee in your sleep in freshman year of high school?"

My jaw dropped in humiliation. "Cole told you, didn't he?"

He nodded with a smirk. "So did you?"

"I was having a nightmare. Accidents happen!" I said with a scowl. "I don't wanna talk about it. My turn. Why do you care if my parents would like you or not?" I repeated my question.

The smirk in his face slowly dropped. He scratched the back of his hair in an unsure manner. "I don't know. I guess... I thought it would be really terrible if my only friend's parents hate my guts."

He was avoiding my eyes. His eyes roamed around again, searching for something to stare at that wasn't my face. Finally, his gaze fell on a picture frame on my bedside table. I bit my lip, watching in silence as he slowly stood up and walked over to take a good look at the picture. It was too late to hide it from him.

"My turn," he said after a minute as he put down the frame back on the table. "Is that your ex-boyfriend?" he said, referring to the guy on the picture, his arms around me as we both smiled at the camera.

I looked at him, trying to determine the undecipherable look in his face as he wondered about the guy in the picture, not sure myself what I was expecting. Was I expecting jealousy? Just pure curiosity? I answered, "Maybe."

"Is it the one who's secretly gay?" he asked again.

I smiled at him. "It's not your turn," I said. So I asked. "Why do you care?"

"Why would you think that I do?"

"You can't answer a question with a question."

He paused, glancing back at the picture before he sat back down on the bed next to me, a little bit closer than before. "There are a lot of things that I do that I'm not even sure why I'm doing them," he finally answered vaguely.

I raised my eyebrows, slowly nodding. "Alright."

He paused to search for a question to ask. "My turn. Do you think..." he paused, considering, "Am I a good friend?"

I pondered over the answer a little bit. "You could be a little friendlier—maybe lose the frown and the hard stare you always have on your face—but you're not a bad friend to me."

His face softened and he smiled a little. "I'll try to be less grumpy."

"What do you think of me?" I asked quietly. "Other than an annoying bitch or a good friend."

I hadn't realized it, but the distance between us was slowly getting closer, and by now I could feel the heat radiating off his body, his slow, slightly irregular breath passing by the skin on my face. I held my breath, waiting for his answer as his eyes ran over my face, from my forehead down to my neck, his eyebrows slowly drawn together in what looked like confusion and curiosity. Until he finally said, "I think... I think you're pretty."

I swallowed, feeling my own breath catching in my throat in surprise. My heart jumped at the weight of his eyes on me, and my cheeks burned red at his revelation. I wouldn't be surprised if the color on my cheeks matched the one of my hair.

All the smug confidence I had—the fierce determination to make him fall in love with me, the reason why I'd come up with Operation Bite the Apple in the first place—everything turned into weightless feathers fluttering around inside my ribcage. I was breathless and completely out of my mind. "Okay. Umm. Your turn."

"Can I tell you something?" he asked.

"Was that your question?" I asked back with a smile. He nodded at me. "Okay."

"I care if your parents liked me or not," he slowly started, his fingers leaving my hair, "because I want them to like me. As your friend."

Feeling bold, I pushed, "Just as my friend?"

His eyes darted toward my lips, and it was as if time slowed down. He leaned closer, one of his hands reaching out to hold the back of my head, and almost as if in a daze, I tilted my face up to meet his eyes. I saw his eyes slowly close, so I closed mine, holding my breath as I felt the presence of his lips drawing closer and closer to mine. I could almost feel his breaths, almost as heavy as mine.

... And then it was over before it even started. I felt Jonah pulling away before dropping his head, the gentle hold he had on my head slowly loosening as his hands fell away. I was scared to open my eyes, not ready to face the disappointment.

But when I finally opened my eyes after collecting my breath, I was surprised to see a shy smile on Jonah's face, hiding behind the shadows. He slowly looked up, the smile on his face only getting wider. I could only stare back at him in confusion, noting that his smile was gentle, and not at all mocking. He wasn't laughing at me. Why was he smiling at me like that?

It was then that I slowly realized that the smile on his face, while not mocking, looked sad. Why the hell would he be the one who was sad? I should be the one who was sad. He almost kissed me, yet he didn't. It was so fucking close.

"What's wrong, Jonah?"

"Do you really want me to kiss you, Hannah?" he countered, his voice sounding a little strained, but he wasn't waiting for an answer. He then sighed before standing up, walking over to take Daisy out of her crib.

"Her bag's in the living room," I told him quietly, running a hand down my face, pausing at my hot, red, blushing cheeks. I tried not to show him the fact that I was feeling dejected, but I could tell that he could see it anyway. "Why wouldn't I want you to kiss me?"

He paused, his forehead knitted in honest confusion. "Because I'm—" he cut himself off, shaking his head several times. He sighed, opting not to finish his sentence as he moved toward the door.

"Can I ask one more question?" I finally asked, stopping him in his tracks.

He nodded, but didn't look up.

"Do you like me, Jonah?"

He was silent for a while. "I do. You're a great friend, I've told you that," he answered, even though by the look on his face, I was sure that he understood what I was asking.

I smiled ruefully. "Nooo, not in that way. Do you like me, Jonah?" Then I added, just with a little bit of humor in my voice, "Like... like-like me?"

He lightly bit his lower lip as he tried not to smile back at me. He turned around to open the door, but paused again before leaving.

A slow smile finally appeared on his face when he looked at me over his shoulder. This time, it was genuine. "I'll see you tomorrow, Na-Na."