Chapter 28: Finding Forever: Chapter 27

“Nothing but good news today,” Cyrus Bradford got straight to the point after greeting Cade and Fern warmly the following afternoon. He was a handsome man in his fifties with a full head of brown hair and graying temples. He smiled broadly and slid a document across his desk toward Fern. She stared at the bold black print at the top of the paper in disbelief, her eyes going from the words, to Cyrus, and then to Cade.

“It this what I think it is?” she asked in a wobbly voice.

Cyrus’s smile widened.

“If you think it’s the official transference of all your assets into your name, you’d be right.”

“That’s it? It’s done?” she asked, elation adding volume to her voice. “Seriously? Just like that?”

“Well, you’re going to have to sign these documents, it’ll be witnessed, notarized, lodged at court… but yes, for all intents and purposes that’s it. You’ll have to meet with your bank manager at some point in the new year and I’d suggest appointing a financial and asset manager—I’d be happy to recommend a few reliable people—but those are all formalities.”

“And…” She hesitated, not entirely sure how to frame the question she needed to ask. “How… how bad⁠—?”

Cyrus sighed and folded his hands.

“As you know, your trust fund was mismanaged, Fern. But we’re working on recouping those losses for you.”

“Do you know the extent of his malfeasance yet?”

“It was systemic,” Cyrus confirmed. They’d discussed this before, of course, he’d been keeping her apprised of his findings. “And quite blatant. He never expected to be caught because he believed he had you under his absolute control. Years of pilfering, as you know… padding his own books, making dodgy deals in your name that benefitted only his company. We’re still digging, but for now, what’s left, is out of his reach.”

“And what’s left?”

“About half of the money, Lambecrete, of course,” he said with a nod toward Cade. “A lot of the residential properties were sold.”

He went through a list of the assets that remained in Fern’s name, and at some point, her hand crept into Cade’s and he squeezed reassuringly as she listened and tried to come to terms with the damage her stepfather had done to her inheritance.

She was still left with much more than any one person would ever need in their lifetime. And she was grateful for it. But Granger’s staggering betrayal of her mother’s trust was what upset her the most. And she despised him for that.

Cade was speaking, asking the questions Fern would never even think of to ask, but she was no longer paying attention. All she wanted to do was go home and process this information.

She was still lost in her thoughts when one of Cade’s questions filtered through the white noise in her head and jolted her back to the present.

“Would Abernathy be able to reverse this if at any point before her thirtieth birthday, Fern and I happen to—uhm—split up?”

Her head swiveled toward his implacable profile. Why would he ask that? Was that what he wanted? To split up sooner rather than later? He didn’t turn his head to meet her gaze, instead his hand tightened around hers.

Cyrus seemed startled by the question and he paused for a moment to stare at them through narrow, appraising eyes.

“Is there something I should know?” he finally asked.

“No. I was curious.”

“Odd thing to be curious about,” Cyrus said.

“Allow me to rephrase,” Cade said with an impatient sigh. “If I were to be hit by a bus at some point between now and Fern’s thirtieth birthday would her inheritance remain safe from that predatory fucker?”

Cyrus’s lips twitched and he adjusted his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“Well, I assume she’d be left a wealthy widow, so she wouldn’t really need her inheritance, but no, her stepfather is no longer a threat to her. Especially since we will be pursuing criminal charges against him for his fraudulent activities.”

Cade’s smile was frigid.

“Good.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Cade invited in the car on their way home, half an hour later.

Fern tugged at her lower lip with her index finger and thumb for a moment, before replying, “I’m wondering why you asked Cyrus that question. About splitting up?”

Cade was driving, something he rarely did in the city, so he spared her only the briefest of inscrutable glances.

“It’s a pertinent question, don’t you think? Considering our circumstances and the conversation we had last night.”

“Is it what you want? To split up sooner?” she asked, a lump in her throat at the possibility of losing him sooner than she’d anticipated. Then she berated herself sternly for thinking in terms of loss. She didn’t have him currently. He was on loan to her. And he would never belong to her. Not really.

“Fern.” His voice was achingly gentle and the lump in her throat expanded to about the size of a hen’s egg, making it difficult to swallow. “I was thinking more about what you wanted.”

“What do you mean, what I want?” she repeated in confusion, not sure what he meant.

He stopped at a red light and reached across to tenderly stroke her cheek with his thumb.

“You deserve better, remember? You said so yourself, just last night. I asked Cyrus about it because I wanted you to understand that if, at any point, you want to end this sooner, you can do so without any repercussions from Granger. You now have that option.”

An angry horn sounded behind them and he dropped his hand to shift the car into first and continue driving.

“I remember saying that we both deserve better,” Fern reminded him softly. “But thank you, Cade. It does make me feel more at ease, knowing that we both have the option to end this whenever we’re ready.”

“So, what will you do?” he asked and she was almost certain there was an undertone of tension in his voice.

“I don’t know yet. I don’t think we need to think about that yet. Maybe we should give it a year? Splitting up now or in the immediate future, will make us both look like liars. And I’d rather not tarnish your reputation like that.”

“Aah, sweetheart, there you go again, putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own.”

“You’re one to talk. Have you ever put yourself first?”

“See?” he teased, his tone light. “Always worrying about someone else instead of yourself.”

“We’re a fine pair of martyrs, aren’t we?” She laughed and he grinned.

“Where are we going?” she asked, noticing for the first time that they weren’t heading home.

“I thought we could get some lunch and do some Christmas shopping. I also figured maybe you’d want to get some decorations? Make the place feel a bit more festive?”

Fern’s face lit up like a beacon and Cade felt more than a little smug to have placed that look of sheer joy on her face.

She was going to go nuclear when she saw what was waiting for her back home.

“Seriously?” she squealed. “Right now?”

“Can’t think of a better time than now. We’re celebrating, right?”

“And I can finally afford to buy you lunch,” she joked with a gleeful chuckle and despite his complicated feelings about their discussion the night before, he laughed in response.

“That too.”

“Oh my God, I’m so excited. This is going to be amazing.”

Less than two hours later, Cade could tell that she was flagging. But—as with the stairs on the beach all those weeks ago—his obstinate wife was bound and determined to keep going.

In the end he pleaded exhaustion and dragged her to a restaurant for a late lunch. And even then, she was going a mile a minute as she verbally itemized her shopping list.

“We should get a tree… a small one, I know you probably don’t want your space all cluttered up with Christmas junk, but we need someplace to put the gifts.”

“Fern, it’s our space,” he reminded. “Although…”

“Although what?”

“I was thinking perhaps we should move? Rent a house or something, right on the beach maybe? It’ll be more accessible for you and the baby, for however long we happen to find ourselves married.”

She was staring at him now, her eyes curious, her expression confused and he waited for the question he knew was coming, but a tiny troubled frown flitted across that perfect brow before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and opted to remain silent.

But that was fine. He could be patient. Today had been a lot. And it would be best for her to process everything that had already happened before piling on even more.

He’d heard everything she’d had to say last night. Heard, and understood, and even agreed.

But… he wasn’t ready to give up on the idea making this marriage permanent yet. He wanted her to have the freedom to choose. But selfishly, he also wanted her to choose him. Because he knew they could make this work. He could’ve cut out his own tongue last night when she’d told him what she’d overheard. He would shift the fucking stars out of alignment if it meant she could unhear the shit he’d said to his dad that day. But it wasn’t possible. He’d said those things. Even meant them at the time and now he had to figure out how to undo that damage.

“As for the tree,” he said, fiddling with the laminated menu as he held her gaze. “Why don’t we get some decorations and lights first? And get the tree later?”

“Later?” She laughed, effectively distracted. “Christmas is a week from today. There is no later, Cade.”

“Let’s focus on gifts and decorations today, okay? You’re exhausted already, no need to overdo it.”

“We don’t even know what size tree we’re getting, how can we get decorations without knowing how much we’ll need.”

“I thought men were supposed to be the logical ones,” he muttered irritably. She didn’t hear him, but continued to prattle on about the Christmas tree decorations.

He stopped listening in favor of simply watching and enjoying the sound of her voice and the sight of her animated face. Her hands were constantly moving as she spoke, her rings glinting in the light.

She spoke through the delivery of their food—smiling gratefully up at their waitress—continued to speak around every mouthful of her burger, and yammered on while she sipped her milkshake, while gesticulating with one hand as she picked through her fries.

She looked lovely today in a floral emerald green and beige ankle length summer dress with flat sandals. He watched her face intently as he tried to figure out what had changed about her. When and how had she become so heartbreakingly lovely? But as he examined her sweet face, he realized that she hadn’t changed at all. She still had the same plain, solemn face. Pale, shaded only in with softest of pinks and lightest of grays… her eyelashes and brows a startling, sultry contrast to the rest of her paleness.

Exactly the same face he’d first seen over four months ago. She hadn’t changed, not really. He had. How he perceived her had changed. What had once been plain and unremarkable to him was now lovely and quite singular. Fern had always been beautiful… but Cade had been foolishly blind to that beauty.

“—even listening to me, right now?” The last emerged on a strident note and jolted him back to the present where his wife was sitting with her arms folded across her chest and glaring at him.

Uh-oh.

“What?”

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying, were you?” she complained.

“Uh… I—” Shit. “Okay, not really, but in my defense, Fern… there’s only so much interest I can fake—take—in Christmas trees before I get distracted.”

“And what, pray tell, was so distracting here?” she asked, sending a pointed look around the crowded family restaurant.

“Your eyes,” he admitted truthfully and she stared at him owlishly.

“What?”

“And your lips. And did you know your nose scrunches up right here”—He stroked the bridge of her nose with his index finger—“when you’re excited?”

“Are you saying that I distracted you from me?”

He blinked at her in astonishment as he recognized that yes, that was indeed the excuse he was making. Trust Fern to go straight to the heart of the matter.

She laughed, the sound containing genuine amusement.

“Oh, well played, Cade, that’s the ultimate snow job.”

“As long as my skills are recognized and appreciated,” he replied without missing a beat and she laughed again.

“Fine, I’ll stop going on about the decorations but I’m just so excited.”

“I know, you are,” he said. “And I’m happy you’re excited. You’ll have to bear with me though. I haven’t done the whole Christmas thing in a while, so I’m a bit rusty with all of this.”

“What did the family do last year?” she asked.

“Dad and Kenny spent Christmas with Beth and Gideon.”

“And you?”

“I uh…” He swallowed and tugged at his collar. “I spent it on my yacht in Ambergris Caye in Belize.”

“Alone?”

“No. I—there was… someone. A woman.” He felt his cheeks heat and felt like a damned fool for being so damned awkward about having a sex life before her.

“Aah, okay.”

“What about you?” he asked quickly, hoping to smooth over the damned uncomfortable moment by diverting the attention to her.

“I spent it at Blessed Heart with a couple of the teachers for company. They were both annoyed to be stuck at the school for the holidays and spent most of it cloistered away in their rooms, FaceTiming their families.”

“What was Abernathy doing last Christmas?”

“Granger, Toni, and Allie holidayed in the Caribbean last year.”

Cade swore viciously beneath his breath, his hands curling into fists beneath the table.

He looked around for the waiter, in an attempt to get his temper back under control and when he caught the guy’s eye he gestured for the bill.

“Fern, I’ve been wondering about something,” he said grimly and her eyes widened at the somber tone of voice.

“About?” she asked.

“Uh… well.” Fuck he had to tread very, very carefully here. “If you’re thinking we’ll be together for another year, minimum… what about, y’know, intimacy?”

Her eyes widened as she immediately understood to what he was referring. Widened, then sparked with amusement.

“It’s just that I don’t think either of us would want to remain celibate for that length of time,” he muttered awkwardly.

“So, are you saying we should be not-celibate with each other?” she asked, and recognizing the words as the ones he’d spoken the night they’d married, his eyes narrowed in warning.

“Don’t you dare,” he muttered.

“Because, I’ve got to tell you, Cade,” she said, ignoring his dire warning with a light giggle. “I don’t think we’re compatible in that way.”

“Christ in heaven,” he muttered beneath his breath and she hooted with laughter. He cast her a jaundice glare.

“You enjoyed that way too fucking much,” he accused and she nodded, her eyes shining with mirth.

“I did, I so did,” she chuckled. She sucked her lip into her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

She wiped at her eyes, before shaking her head.

“Sex is going to complicate matters,” she said, and he nodded.

“It is.”

She tugged her teeth at her lower lip, driving him fucking insane in the process, then nodded thoughtfully, as if coming to some kind of decision. His breath stalled as he waited.

“I like sex,” she confessed and he stifled a groan.

“Aye, I’ve noticed,” he told her in a strained voice, and she grinned again.

“And I don’t want to be celibate for the next year or so. To that end… I’d prefer if we were not celibate with each other.”

“Thank fuck for that.” Cade’s response was unashamedly relieved.

“Friends with benefits? Right?”

He was immediately revolted by the very thought of that, but he nodded nonetheless.

“Fuck buddies, aye,” he agreed.

“Okay.”

“Erm,” he said, striving to get the day back on track. “We should probably get back to our shopping so that we can make damned sure this year’s Christmas is better than last year’s… for both of us.”

“Why are you being so weird?” Fern asked, as Cade blocked her every attempt to pass him at the front door.

“Why don’t you stop being so sneaky?” he retorted on a chuckle. “And let me do my thing…”

“What thing? What’s the big mystery?”

He swung open the door and stood in the doorway, massive frame blocking her way. He turned on his heel until he was facing her and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her a determined glare.

“I’m going to need you to close your eyes,” he commanded sternly and she rolled her eyes.

“Wait, seriously? Wh⁠—?”

“Christ,” Cade muttered, before plastering one hand over Fern’s mouth, applying no pressure just holding it there to be sure she got the point. She stared at him wide-eyed, amusement on her face. “You gonna close your eyes?”

She nodded obediently, eyes glinting with mischief.

“Uh uh,” he decided after a moment. “I don’t trust you at all.”

Her eyes widened in mock outrage and he lifted his hand from her mouth to cover her eyes instead. Cade stepped around her, until he was standing behind her with his palm still firmly curled over her eyes, and steered her through the door.

He got her into position and crowded closer to her back, placing his mouth right by her ear to ask, “You ready?”

Her giggling had stopped and she nodded now, so still and trusting in his hold.

Cade inhaled deeply—relishing the delicious honey and almond scent of her—and dropped his hand. He stepped to the side so that he could see her reaction.

She blinked at first, as she adjusted to the light in the room, and then she saw it.

He watched her breath hitch and her eyes widen—they went misty with tears—her hands flew to her mouth as she took a tentative step forward, blinking the moisture from her eyes.

“Cade?” she whispered tentatively, that beautiful wide gaze swinging to him for confirmation and he swallowed painfully at the sight of the childlike awe, hope, and disbelief all fighting for dominance in her face.

He nodded, unable to speak, much more affected by her emotional response than he’d anticipated. She smiled then, the wide, beautiful smile that had so captivated him from the moment he’d first seen it, showing off her peekaboo dimple.

“You got us a Christmas tree?”

Us.

Not me.

It said a lot about her generosity of spirit that she was so instinctively willing to share something that she’d wanted so desperately, and for so long, with Cade.

She turned around and walked straight into his arms.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his chest, trembling in his hold. “This is… it’s everything, Cade. Thank you so much.”

And just like that, the many hoops Cade had jumped through to get this tree bought and delivered today—a near impossible task this close to Christmas, doable in large part due to Mitch’s dogged determination—was absolutely worth it.

It made Fern happy. And that was all that mattered.

Fern chose to join Cade in bed that night. Making love was the last thing on either of their minds, they were both too exhausted after the day they’d had. The meeting with Cyrus followed by hours of shopping and then that tree!

Fern’s heart melted at the thought of that tree.

She’d been so excited about it that she’d unthinkingly and, she now admitted unwisely—considering how tired they both were—insisted they decorate it right then and there.

Cade had, after a token protest, complied with an indulgent smile.

Of course, she’d put on some Christmas carols—ignoring Cade’s more vociferous and sincere protests—and the two of them had argued amicably about the best placement for the ornaments that they’d chosen together mere hours before.

It had been an evening filled with laughter. Both a little uncertain at first, they had each politely conceded to the other’s wishes until their strong opinions had begun to influence their decisions. In the end, their beautifully decorated tree was a reflection of both their personalities, a few hard-won arguments, and many happy compromises.

When Cade had flipped the switch on the lights, they’d stood arm in arm to admire their work. Both feeling reverent and proud of what they’d achieved. It amazed Fern that something so simple could bring so much joy and after they’d unselfconsciously shared a sleepy shower, they’d fallen into bed in each other’s arms, exhausted, but happy.

“Thank you for today,” Fern whispered. She was snugly nestled against his chest, her head resting on his chest.

Cade was lazily stroking her hair and he made a soft, sleepy sound in response to her words.

“It was the best day,” she murmured.

His hand paused briefly in its stroking, before continuing.

“It was,” he agreed in that thrilling low rumble. “Fun isn’t a word I usually use. I enjoy things, take pleasure in them. I rarely, if ever, have fun. But tonight was fun. And I’m the one who should be thanking you for that, Fern.”

She smiled at those sweet and sincere words. So simple and yet so powerful, they filled her with contentment and joy. She sighed softly, not entirely sure what the future held for them. Not sure if she could trust this new fragile bond between them. But that was a problem for tomorrow. Right now she had this perfect day with these perfect words that she kept replaying over and over again in her mind until she fell asleep.