I stare at the small gray dot on the ultrasound monitor, my lips parting.
Adrian was right. I am pregnant. Five weeks.
First, the OB-GYN confirmed it through a blood test, and sheâs now showing us the baby.
Iâve been shocked, numb, like the day I got out of surgery to learn I could no longer be a ballerina.
But the moment I see that life? Something inside me shifts.
At first, I wanted to demand an abortion because of ballet. But I donât have ballet anymore, and whether I have children or not will have no effect on my ended career.
But now, as I watch the tiny figure on the screen, strong feelings like I havenât had since the day my career ended invade me all at once.
That baby is mine. Something I conceived.
A tenacious life which survived all the stress Iâve been through up until now.
I stare up at Adrian, whoâs standing next to my hospital bed, also observing what will soon grow into a fetus, in his utter calm. Heâs been like a rock during this entire nightâcarrying me, taking care of procedures, and being the anchor anyone would hope for.
However, he hasnât shown a single reaction since the doctor confirmed his suspicion. Although it wasnât really a suspicion since he announced it before the doctor did.
My eyes widen. Did heâ¦do this on purpose?
The thought thunders through the rest of me like wildfire. When I told the doctor that Iâm on birth control pills, she mentioned that the pill isnât one hundred percent effective, especially if I didnât take it at the same time every day.
But pregnancy wouldâve been so much more probable if he actually switched my pills out.
The feelings I was basking in only a few seconds ago slowly evaporate as I focus on the man standing beside me. And not just any man, a killer and a mobster. I canât let someone like him father my children. How the hell did I allow myself to be even the slightest bit happy about the idea?
The doctor offers me the sonogram picture, but I donât take it, afraid to look at that life one more time. Adrian thanks her, pulling it from her hand. I go through the motions as I cover myself and grab my crutch to stand up.
Adrian tries to help me, but I squirm free. He gives me a look and grabs me by the elbow, forbidding me from getting away from him until he helps me into a chair in front of the doctorâs desk.
Instead of taking his own seat, he remains standing by my side. âIs her injury going to cause a problem with the pregnancy?â
The doctor, a middle-aged lady with soft features and her white hair done in a pixie cut, says in a melodious voice, âNot at all. Thankfully, the injury didnât happen during one of her late trimesters. When do you get the cast off, Ms. Morelli?â
âIn three weeks,â I murmur.
âIt should be fine, but until then, please pay extra attention to your stress levels. The first pregnancies are usually the most fragile.â
Adrian gives a curt nod, schedules an upcoming appointment, and leads me out of the office.
I pull away from him as soon as weâre down the hall, hobbling as fast as my crutch allows me to do so.
He catches up to me, grabs me by the waist, and glues me to his side. Then he speaks in a low, threatening tone, âThatâs the second and final time you flinch away from me. And walk slowly so you donât put too much pressure on your leg.â
âStop it,â I hiss, twisting against him.
âStop what?â
âStop acting like the most caring person alive when you planned this all along.â
âThis?â
I halt near a fire escape staircase and point a finger at the envelope in his hand. âYou switched my pills to make that happen.â
His expression remains the same, as if I didnât say anything. âYou were pregnant before I had to do that.â
My lips part. âYouâ¦you planned it?â
âYes.â
âYou really switched my pills?â
âI said I didnât have to. As the doctor said, birth control pills arenât a hundred percent effective.â
His methodical, apathetic tone, coupled with his words, nearly send me into a state of hysteria and pure black rage. It takes everything in me not to shout as if Iâve lost my mind. âAre you even hearing yourself? How could you do this to me?â
âI didnât.â
âYou were planning to.â
âFor the third time, I didnât have to.â
âBut you wanted to. Why the hell would you even want to impregnate me?â
âBecause itâs the only way to keep you close.â He checks his watch. âSpeaking of which. I think we can make it.â
âMake it where?â
He places his phone to his ear as he slowly but firmly guides me to the elevator. âI need a priest. Wake him up if you have to⦠Weâre heading to the churchâ¦make sure Emily has everything she needs before we get there.â
The door of the elevator shuts and we head to the parking lot as he makes two more calls, speaking in Russian.
By the time heâs finished, Iâm breathing so harshly, I can barely focus on whatâs going on around me. âWhat are you doing, Adrian?â
âWeâre getting married.â
The words leave him with utter ease, as if theyâre the most normal occurrence, as if he didnât just suggest that we take vows when we barely know each other.
âPlease tell me youâre joking.â
He stares down on me. âI told you I donât do that.â
Iâm about to wiggle free, but he pins me in place, his eyes darkening with a warning. âStay still and stop aggravating your injury.â
âI wonât marry you! Thatâs for devoted couples, not forâ¦forâ¦us!â
âYouâre pregnant with my child. There doesnât need to be any other reason.â
âOf course there does.â
âNot for me.â
âI need more, Adrian.â
âToo bad you donât get to decide, Lenochka.â
Frustrated tears well in my eyes and I suck in a deep breath. âWe didnât even discuss the child, and now youâre talking about a wedding?â
âWhy?â He tilts his head to the side. âWere you considering not keeping it?â
Was I? No, not really. But I didnât even get to think properly about how I will go about this. Ideally, I want Adrian away from me and the child until I clear my head. Marriage is the last thing I want right now.
âPeople have kids outside of marriage,â I try to bargain.
His eyes flash with menace more terrifying than Iâve ever witnessed before. His jaw clenches when he speaks in a low tone, âMy child will not be born outside of marriage. Is that fucking clear?â
My spine snaps upright at the change in his demeanor. This is the first time the calm façade has cracked and Iâve actually seen him this angry, this callous, and without any semblance of light in his gray eyes.
Thatâs when I recall what he said. Adrian was a mistressâs son. Shit. No wonder he doesnât want to put his offspring in the same position.
But that doesnât give him the right to force me into this marriage.
âAt least give me time to think about it.â I sigh with resolution.
âAnd then what? You think you get to say no?â
Of course he wonât allow me such an option. So I try to appeal to any sliver of humanity inside him. âIâm barely surviving the end of my career, Adrian.â
If I expected any sympathy, I find nothing in his closed off face. âYouâll survive it better when you have something to occupy your time.â
âWow, great. Thanks for thinking of me.â
âDrop the sarcasm, Lia. It doesnât suit you.â
âSo now you know everything about me?â
âNot everything, no, but I know this is happening tonight.â
I try to free myself from him, but that only manages to tighten his hold around me. âJust give me time. Let me process this.â
âYouâll have all the time you need to process it afterward.â
The elevator door opens before I can utter a word and Adrian carries me to the awaiting car.
Kolya and Yan are in the front, and the latter gives me a sympathetic look as his colleague drives away.
The news of the pregnancy has become the least of my problems now that heâs using it to make me marry him.
âAdrianâ¦â
He faces me with an exasperated look. âWhat, Lia? What is it?â
âDonât make me do this.â
âWould you rather I go back to Kristina and marry her?â
âW-what? What does she have to do with anything?â
âItâs either you or her, and if you play stubborn and say I should go to her, Iâm going to make you watch me marry her, then fuck her to put an heir inside her.â
I gasp, the image forming in my head as if itâs indeed a reality. I can clearly imagine Adrianâs glorious naked body powering into the beautiful tall blonde, and bile rises to my throat, threatening to empty my stomach again.
Heâ¦wouldnât be so cruel as to do that, right?
The question must be written all over my face, because Adrian grabs my hand and leans over to whisper in harsh words, âGo ahead, Lia. Make the foolish choice if youâre ready to bear the consequences. But understand this, Iâm never letting you go. Iâll make you watch me with Kristina every night before I fuck you. Sheâll have to adopt your child as hers, too, because I will not allow my offspring to be treated as a bastard. So whatâs it going to be? A wife or a mistress?â
A tear rolls down my cheeks, clinging to my lips as I taste salt. I have no doubt that heâll make true of his word, that heâd torment me in such a way so Iâd regret going against him.
âYouâre a monster,â I breathe out.
âAnd youâre marrying this monster.â He releases me with a shove and I glue myself to the back seat, my heart nearly hammering out of my chest.
Heâs really left me no choice. He knows I would never be the mistress, no matter what. That I would rather go through any craziness heâs planning instead of being his side piece while another woman is his wife.
And not only that, but the jerk would take my child away, too.
When we arrive at a large old building, nausea fills my stomach.
Weâre at a church.
Heâll really make me marry him tonight.
Adrian carries me out of the car and leads me to a back door. A blonde in a sharp skirt suit greets us with a smile.
âMr. Volkov.â She nods at me. âMiss.â
âDo you have everything ready, Emily?â he asks with his non-negotiable Russian accent.
âYes, sir. Everythingâs as instructed.â
âMake it quick.â He places me to my feet.
Iâm thinking of ways to somehow escape when hot breaths tickle my ear and he whispers, âIf you resist, let alone attempt to run, Iâll catch you and weâll do it my way. I assure you thatâs the last thing youâd want, Lia.â
And with that, he turns around and leaves, utterly sure that I wonât do it.
And to be even more certain, a few black cars line the perimeter of the church, all of them filled with men dressed in black, like Yan and Kolya.
He brought his guards to the ceremony. Isnât that romantic?
Emily leads me inside and introduces me to two of her helpers. Iâm back to the numb state as I let them treat me like Adrianâs doll.
The asshole.
The fucking asshole.
Every time I think weâre falling into some sort of an understanding, he does something to prove his monstrous nature. I sometimes get the idea that he might care for me, but itâll always be his way or the highway.
Emily and her helpers donât waste any time. They wash my hair and pull it up in an elegant twist before carefully attaching a long veil to it.
After that, they apply a natural touch of makeup, painting my lips a soft pink.
Soon enough, Iâm dressed in a white silk wedding dress with a large skirt that covers my cast. Its train is long and circular, matching the length of the veil.
The dress has a jewel neckline with a lace V-back that shows my skin. Itâs elegant and fits me to perfection, as if itâs been specially made for meâwhich I wouldnât put past Adrian.
âIs this tailored?â I ask Emily, whoâs fussing with the veil.
âYes, miss.â She beams. âWeâre so glad we had it made in such a short time.â
âHow long?â
âAbout a month.â
Since before I found out about the engagement. Adrian ordered for this dress to be made while he was engaged to Kristina. Heâs intended to marry me since then.
I donât know what to think about that. Should I be flattered? Angry? Both?
Emily says I should stay in my flat shoe since itâll keep me comfortable. Besides, itâs covered by the dress, anyway. After finalizing the look, she retrieves a camera and grins. âSmile.â
I donât know if I do as she takes the picture. I stare at my reflection in the long mirror and itâs like I donât recognize myself. I look beautiful with slightly red cheeks, like a blushing bride.
But itâs the exact opposite.
That red is for anger, for the way Adrian is taking everything away and not giving me a choice.
Though he did give me oneâbeing his wife or his mistressâbut thatâs merely another way of manipulating me. He never intended to go with my decision, not after he spent nearly a month preparing me a wedding dress.
Or maybe he wouldâve thrown it away and had another one made for Kristina.
One thingâs for certain, I now know heâll never let me go.
âYouâre good to go, miss.â Emily smiles. âWant me to help you?â
âNo, thanks.â
I lean on my crutch, head held high as I step out of the room. If Iâm going to sacrifice myself, Iâm not doing it with tears in my eyes or like a damsel in distress.
Because there are no knights in shining armor. What waits for me at the end of the aisle is a monster.
One I willingly let into my body and nearly allowed to destroy my soul.
Not anymore.
Adrian has added a black jacket to his outfit and stands in front of a sleepy-looking priest, with Kolya and Yan by his side. Other than that, the church is empty.
I hobble toward him and refuse to stare at the slight awe in his eyes, at how his expression lights for a bit before it completely closes off like the rest of him.
The moment Iâm within reach, he squeezes my waist, and in spite of my crutch, he carefully pulls me close so his chest nearly crashes against mine.
The stormy winter skies in his eyes bore into mine as he orders the priest, âStart.â
I donât want to look at his eyes or get caught in the lack of empathy there. Sometimes, theyâre too apathetic, too black. Like now.
However, thereâs something else in there, something akin to carnal possession.
I rip my gaze from his to focus on the priest, an old man with a half-bald head who speaks with a thick Russian accent.
âSkip that,â Adrian orders again when he starts to talk about marriage and its values.
âDo you, Adrian Volkov, take Lia Morelli as your wedded wife, to be with you always, in wealth and in poverty, in disease and in health, in happiness and in grief, from this day until death do you part?â
âI do,â Adrian says with so much conviction, I want to stab him for taking such vows so recklessly.
The priest turns toward me. âDo you, Lia Morelli, take Adrian Volkov as your wedded husband, to be with you always, in wealth and in poverty, in disease and in health, in happiness and in grief, from this day until death do you part?â
I stare at Adrian, at the promise of retaliation in his closed off features if I donât say the words he wants me to.
He really shouldnât have threatened me, because now, Iâll be completely on board with Lucaâs plan. If not for anything else, then to get rid of him and the negative influence he has on my life.
Ever since he walked into it, Iâve lost complete control and I need to get it back.
During the past few weeks, I was planning to tell Luca I wouldnât spy on the man whoâs taking care of me, but Adrian showed me his true colors tonight.
âI do,â I say meekly, with no emotions at all.
âAre you sure, miss?â the priest asks, and Adrian stares at him as if contemplating whether or not he should chop his head off.
âI am,â I say. Because Iâm going to make Adrian regret everything heâs made me live through since the day I first saw him in my parking garage. While I was ready to overlook that with the connection I thought weâd formed, nothing can forgive what heâs done to me tonight.
Iâm still not over my ended career, but now, I find myself pregnant and also forced to marry him.
Adrian takes two small boxes from Kolya and slides a diamond ring onto my finger. Itâs big, perfectly cut, and elegant. Simple and a flawless fit. However, I find no joy looking at it. If anything, it feels like an imaginary weight on my hand.
He places the other ring, a simple white gold band, in my palm and I turn off my emotions as I glide it onto his finger.
âI now pronounce you husband and wife,â the priest says with a regretful tone. Maybe he knows exactly what type of man Adrian actually is and heâs pitying me. âYou may kiss the bride.â
Adrian pulls me against his chest as he grabs me by my nape. âYouâre mine now, Mrs. Volkov.â
I hate having his last name attached to mine. For some reason, it feels like Iâve sold my soul to the devil.
Worse, I actually married him.
But while Adrian considers this a win, for me, itâs only the beginning.
He forced me to be his wife? Fine.
But itâs by his wifeâs hands that his life will end.
I donât close my eyes as he presses his lips to mine. His kiss is all-consuming and meant to dominate me, to tear all my walls down.
But Iâve already lost everything.
Now, all I can do is win.