My eyes quickly find Raphael's and I can't help myself when I peck him on the lips before jumping off his lap and the bed to run towards Zach.
We collide without even trying to soften the blow as we stumble around the room hugging and laughing. I don't understand how I went so long without him.
'God I missed you.' I say when we finally stop tumbling around. We cling onto each other, just revelling in the other's presence.
'Me too, buddy, me too.' he returns, patting my back lightly.
We pull apart when Raphael clears his throat.
'Do I need to be jealous?' he asks, but a small smile is pulling at his lips. I only laugh.
'Raphael, this is my best friend, Zach. Zach this is...' my hand stops moving mid-air as I fail to make up my mind about what to call Raphael.
'I'm Raphael. Nice to meet you.' he helps me out once he realises how much I'm struggling.
Raphael climbs out of my bed and shakes Zach's hand. I can tell Zach is already assessing him.
'Alright children. Let's go downstairs, I made some early lunch for us pretty people.' my mum laughs before leaving the room. Zach and I are the last to leave the room, but he holds me back. I gesture Raphael to leave before us as I know Zach wants to talk to me.
'You didn't tell me you found your mate.' he starts once the door is closed. I know he's probably butt hurt about not knowing, but also trying to figure out what feels off about the situation.
'It's not that easy.' I begin to explain. He only shrugs and says: 'Then give me the short version. We'll talk more once that hunk of a man has left.' A grin grows on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows and I immediately hit his arm out of habit.
'Please don't call him that.' I groan.
He only snorts before quieting down, signalling me to start talking. I sigh.
'I met my mate on my first day at this uni. Knew immediately who they were, was happy and everything.'
'So?' Zach urges me on. I know he's completely confused since this is very normal and from what he's witnessed, we get along perfectly fine. Cough.
'When you called the other day I was at Raphael's house for the weekend. We kissed for the first time.' I continue. I know that I'm not getting to the point at all and Zach's increasing confusion and frustration is evident on his face. I can't blame him, but it is kind of hard talking about it. Again.
'We were making out... while my mate Sheila was away with their family.' I finally whisper.
'Wait a second. Hold up. What exactly?' Zach's eyes are wide as saucers, his mouth gaping. I just revealing three things to him in one simple sentence.
'Your mate is a girl?' I nod at that.
'And that Raphael guy is not said girl?' Another nod. I can't even laugh at the stupidity of his question at that point.
'And you cheated on her with him?' I hesitate, but nod anyway.
'And their related?' I give him a vague yes-no answer, because really, that one I'm not too sure how to answer.
He doesn't say anything more, only lets himself drop unto my bed heavily. I hang my head, waiting for his reaction. I've known him for so long, but no matter how well you think you know someone, when it comes down to things like this, you will always feel nervous. In my case, I just mentally prepare myself for his lashing out. I don't want him to, but I know it's the most logical reaction.
He sighs and I flinch even from that.
'I swear, I leave you alone for a few weeks and you manage to pancake up your life to hell and back.'
My head snaps up at his words, looking at him with wide eyes of my own now. And now I can't stop myself from laughing when I hear his swearing. Zach has always been very swearword heavy in his speech, but has somehow decided to replace the repulsing f-word with pancake.
What starts as a chuckle quickly escalates into a full blown laugh attack, during which I start crying like a baby, letting go of all the stress these last few minutes have built up.
He sighs again as he stands up to hug me. His hands gently pat my head and my back, whispering words of encouragement into my ear and I still can't stop bawling like a child.
When I finally begin to calm down he pulls me an arm's length away from himself and studies me for a moment.
'Do you want to know a secret?' he says then, a gentle smile on his lips. I only nod, trying to get rid of the remaining tears with my palms.
'You feel like mates.' he then whispers into my ear before grabbing one of my hands to pull me out of my room and to the kitchen.
By the time we arrive the comment has properly set in and my face is bright red.
'What the hell did you do with him?' Raphael comments the moment we step into the room. An easy smile is on his lips that tells me he's actually quite comfortable. I can't help but smile back at that.
However, I know Zach and his big mouth and I'm entirely too late to stop him.
'Told him the two of you feel like you're mates.'
There's a silence over the room while Raphael and I just stare at each other.
'Ha!' my mum then bellows, 'I thought so too!'
Zach and mum high five each other and launch into an in depth discussion over why they get that feeling.
All the while Raphael and I are still staring at each other. A faint blush appeared on his neck, where his skin disappears underneath his shirt. A strong urge to kiss him there suddenly overtakes me and it doesn't help my current situation.
After a few minutes he quietly gestures for me to sit down next to him, while my mum and Zach are still deep in conversation.
Raphael holds my hand now, moving his thumb over my skin slowly.
In desperate need to break the silence before it gets more embarrassing, I ask him the first question that comes to mind.
'Can I call you Raph?' I whisper, for no apparent reason, but I do.
He hesitates and I begin to wrack my brain for what I did wrong. It stresses me out beyond belief that I could have annoyed him.
'You can, but just don't do it in public. Usually only Sam calls me Raph. Only family.' he smiles and my heartbeat picks up immediately. Only family.
A chorus of Aww's has us out of our trance immediately and I only groan upon seeing mum and Zach leaning their heads on their hands, ogling us like animals at the zoo.
'Mom!' I whine, begging her to just stop embarrassing me.
Lunch is actually quite fun, if I forget about the many times mum and Zach make fun of both Raph and I. I'm used to it to some degree, but sharing the embarrassment with someone now almost makes it worse. And having Raph enduring that also makes me feel bad.
Before he leaves I apologise profusely to him, but he just laughs and tells me to give him my phone number to make it up to him. So I do. It's really kind of surreal still.
I see him out while mum and Zach are doing their own thing.
While I can't wait to have a through talk with Zach, I also don't want to let Raph go.
We stand in the hallway awkwardly, aware that we can't properly say goodbye outside anymore. This is a secret and I will do whatever it takes to make sure it stays one. This isn't just about me, not even just about Raph or this relationship. This is also about survival. Wolf packs don't take too well to disloyal members.
'Well... I'll be going then.' he says gently. I smile at him, wanting to kiss him, but suddenly unsure. I notice then that we're more or less the same hight. I would only have to lean forward a bit to kiss him, nothing more. Neither of us has to stand on our toes for it to work either. It's simple, perfect.
It's him that leans in though. It's just a small movement but it connects our lips briefly, for a small peck that means so much in and of itself. There's something incredibly domestic about chastely kissing in the hallway.
He pulls away after a moment of relishing in the simple contact. I squeeze his hand for a second before letting him leave.
One last glance over his shoulder and he is gone.
'You, my friend, are so pancaking whipped.' comes from behind me and I swirl around so quickly, it almost makes me fall.
'Let's go. There's loads you need to tell me.' he says with a grin before disappearing in the direction of my room. I sigh and follow.
I tell him everything. Everything that happened, every doubt I had and have. Every conversation I had. All of my fears.
He doesn't comment much, just settles with spooning me while we fall asleep as a means to calm me down. For me this is as much home as my mum's embrace as I've been close with Zach for almost all my life.
The whole situation feels so much better with Zach here. He's just part of the support system I've grown used to.
In the morning I'm woken up by a beeping on my dresser. I reach my hand up blindly until I manage to grab my phone.
A smile grows on my lips as I read the simple Good morning love that flashes on my screen.