Kai
2018
"Mom! Have you seen my blue sweater?" I yelled across the hallway to the kitchen. Today was yet another day of school and yet another day that I woke up late for what I would assume the third time this week. I was aware of how late I was at waking up but really, I don't know why I was doing so. I did everything right. Sleeping early at ten... preparing myself for sleep, doing skincare routine... drinking milk... having a nice hot shower to loosen up my tense muscle of stress. I did everything! Literally, everything that allows you to sleep peacefully and quietly at night, with the dreams coming in from one scene to another.
Oh! The dreams... I take my dreams real serious. It's the only thing that kept me sane. Believe me or not but dreams are better than reality itself. Especially when you're lucid dreaming. You have the ability to control reality itself in a dream and my goodness, when I say I can do whatever I want, I meant I CAN do whatever the fuck I want in that dream. Skydiving... Flying... Jumping in socks (OK that's weird), eating without getting fat... you name it. It's a whole another world that speaks my language which I always wanted to be in. Not this one, not this facade.
My family consists of me and... my parents. Simple and will be that way. After knowing that my little brother couldn't make it into the world in 2007... my parents stop. They stop trying to have another one which the reason was that they don't want to risk another one. So that leaves me... the only child in the family that I come to love and care with but at the same time, keeping a secret from the ones I love. Why? Because of my dreams...
Well not entirely because of the dreams but it's mostly about the content of the dreams. I dreamt a lot about meeting guys which in the end makes me different. I never thought about it a lot until I turn fifteen, where I met this one senior of mine which makes me feel different... he makes my tummy growl. I figured that I was hungry but instead... I wasn't. I was having a crush. A huge crush that it makes me look like a creep every time we see each other. But it wasn't my fault! One time he put his hand on my shoulder and just holds on onto me like I meant everything in his life and dude, how can you not expect me to feel something? That single hold was insane! It's like hugging the person you ever loved the most but I don't know that... I never had a relationship which... suck.
Is that the right word?
Either way, that part of me in which I let it out in my dreams is a side of me that I would never ever tell anyone, not even my best friend, not even the counsellor, not even my parents, hell, not even a psychologist even when he or she, knows through my verbal language that I was into guys. I don't know why exactly but, there's a part of me which I could never tell it to anyone. My parents would get mad at me for it, saying that it was wrong for a boy to like another boy. People... my friends, would not even support my sexual orientation. It's all because of the society that we lived in. That kind where something like this was rare to be seen and it would always remain like that forever.
My mom walked in from the laundry room, holding the blue sweater that speaks so much of what I ever love in my life: Comfy fabric. The woman with beautiful raven locks looks at me as I approach her, wearing a white shirt. "Kai... this is why I asked you to be prepared every time for the day tomorrow before you go to sleep. Now look, who's the one getting herself into more work?" She spoke, as she hands me the sweater. I bit my lip in bitter, not knowing what to say to the woman. She then goes to continue doing laundry as I put the blue garment over me.
"Sorry... I had so much going on yesterday... with school works... assignments...," I batted my lashed at her, wanting an okay from her rather than apologizing for my poor time management crack head.
She let out a sigh. "You're a few months away from graduating, Kai, better pick up that skill before you go for college next year," said the woman as she taps two fingers on her arm where she used to wear her watch.
"I know, I know. I promise I get better. Just... have trust in me," I look at her, searching for that soft spot in her eyes that can calm her down.
"Fine... now go before you get even late,"
"Yeah, see you later mom," My lips went to kiss her cheek. Then, I walk with long strides to the front door but not before taking my bag from the edge of the stairs.
As I want to open the door, she yelled at me. "Stay out of trouble!"
"I will!" Opening the door, my legs rush its way outside and stepping down the small steps. Too fast at moving, my feet lose its footing on one of the steps and there I was, tumbling down on slow motions as I fail to hold onto something to keep myself steady.
My lips let out a grunt as my chest hit the hard stone of the ground. Luckily, I was able to avoid landing my face flat on the said ground, having to have hit it with my forehead instead. Huffing out loud, I get up slowly but only to found someone standing in front of me. Charlie Nicholson.
"You better be careful next time, Kai. Could have lost that pretty face of yours," Said the male in front of me with brown curly hair that sways every time the wind blows through them. It was another thing that my best friend was wrong here was that: he was more good-looking than me.
I stand up, brushing away the dust that stuck on my clothes. "Shut up Charlie, now come on... we're late,"
"Not my fault we're late," He scoffed, walking backwards to the car in front of my house. I kept my mouth shut on that comment, not wanting to cause any more scenes that would make us late than usual. If there's one thing we do best, it was being late. Plus, I wouldn't want the beginning of the day to be a huge fight between me and my best friend. "I feel like, you, my boy, is getting more and more terrible at waking up early. What happened dude?" He continued, as both of us got inside his car. I glance towards his face, with my forehead wrinkled as I tried to figure out an answer to that.
"Works... you know how my parents care so much about that part of me," I shrugged out, letting the common answer there was about me. I was a hope to my family, one that could lead my father's business legacy. Charlie nodded, agreeing to the general answer I had. If I were to go further about my sexual preference, that would cause a terrible fiasco. Losing friends was not a problem, but losing a friend who goes through a lot with was more than enough pain for someone as friend-less as me. There was nothing to do than just skip over the matter.
When he started the car, a motorcycle stops its way beside us. It was a black Harley-Davidson Roadster that shines brightly at the sight of my eyes. The person riding it was wearing a white rolled-up sleeve shirt, with black jeans and tattoos running all over his arm. He looked at Charlie, seeming to know him... but I don't know him. I never ever seen his face my entire life but somehow, he looked familiar.
"Stan? Hey man! Didn't know you lived around here as well?" Charlie asked, a proud smile plastered onto his face. The guy's eyes just set its place onto Charlie. The way Charlie greeted him meant that they talked with each other before. Which was weird considering how I never saw Charlie ever hang out with him.
"Lived here ever since fifteen... seems here you're late," He smirked, the expression just made me stop to stare at his face. Dark eyes... defined jawlines... manly. But what makes me stop to realize was that he only said Charlie was late. What about me? Why did he not notice me?
Charlie chuckled, shaking his head at how hypocritical his statement was. "You, as well,"
"I'm always late, see you at school man," He spoke his last words before driving off forward. Those words just came to show how uncaring he was about school or being punctual with time. It was that public persona who just doesn't give a shit that shines through his demeanour that made him stand out as a person more. I stare at the black motorcycle as Charlie went to drove us away from my house. Why have I never see him before? Did he live around here? I guess I was really busy with studying that I never even realize who even lived here.
That I can't seem to realize a beautiful human being near me.
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