Kai
Going home and cry into my bedsheets was the exact thing that I wanted to do after this pathetic heartbreak but here I was, sipping on a caramel macchiato that was supposed to calm my terrible state of sobs and tears. I was acting like a wimp. A wimp who doesn't even know what they did to even deserve what they deserve.
A wimp who's heartbroken.
"I couldn't believe that he even would do such a thing! Like... look at him, I would even die to just be there for him and this bitch, who I don't even know her name, but she's from our grade just decided to latched herself around him, and he ACCEPTED IT! He is such a jerk," He cried, letting out a small chuckled out of nowhere, my mind was running in circles. I just can't believe I got played.
Charlie takes away the drink that I was currently sipping. "Dude? Are you drunk? From drinking caramel macchiato?" He asked, looking inside the drink to see what kind of drug did it got to make me feel this way.
Stan was a drug. An addictive drug that made me cry and laugh at the same time.
"It's funny... that all this time I was thinking that I would have a great relationship with someone so stupid. Then it turns out that the stupidity was in that relationship itself!" I cackled. "Give me that," I spat, taking back my drink from Charlie's hand.
Liara was just looking at me with concern. I knew that she was worried about me but I think I'll manage. I guess so. I didn't want the sympathy, I want them to cuss Stan with me and how stupid I was for falling in love with him.
Falling in love? I widened my eyes.
I fell in love with him! How did that even happen? I couldn't believe that I ever fell for his words. Starting from that day at his stupid house when I saw him jerking off to my name and saying that he liked me. I didn't care if I was being explicit with my words. What needs to be said to make me feel better needs to be said.
"Kai? Are you okay? I think coming here was not a great idea. Charlie, please help me bring him up to the car," said Liara as she drank all the liquid from her cup then goes to see the clock on the wall. I bring my finger up to her, putting her into a halt. I didn't want to go home yet.
My mouth let out a small groan. "Guys... I'm on my way to be okay again. Just sit down and enjoy your drinks," I insisted, wiping away the excess tears that stained my cheeks.
I could see how Liara was about to burst from the impatience and the absurdity of my behaviour and I didn't even bother to look at her straight in the eyes to see that. Charlie was glancing from between us, deciding what he should do. He, too, was now worried of me, by the looks of his face I could tell.
He stares at me right into my soul. "Kai, I think we should go now. We've been here for two hours,"
"No! I don't wanna go home!" I countered, looking down onto my palms.
"Kai! Wake up! I know you're heartbroken because your boyfriend dumped you but please... we're your friends, stop treating us like we're your puppet to be controlled around just for your sake. Charlie and I bring you here to cool off and you, yourself decided that ranting about the past can cool you down. Please... I know you're heartbroken, but we need to go home, you especially need to go home. Take a rest and maybe tomorrow or sooner, things will be better. I know it will, okay?" Liara snapped, forcing me to look at her. She was right, I was acting like a child but that's just because I felt stupid, I felt dumb and almost felt crazy for a moment there. I know I'm being dramatic but it's the only way for me to let go. By letting it out all at once.
I sniffled. "I'm scared... I don't wanna see my parents like this. I'm a mess. They'll pressure me about what's wrong... I didn't even want to be like this...," I muttered, wiping another tear that fell from my left eye with my sleeve.
"Hey... it's gonna be okay. Before we drop you off, we're gonna make sure you look presentable in front of your parents, okay?" Charlie added.
I nodded, giving myself into my friend's affection. Charlie then ruffled my hair, making it messier than it was. After that, we went back to the car. I hung my head low, not in the mood to even look around me nor my friends. In the car, I stay quiet. Not because I didn't want to talk but because I want to control myself whenever I get back home. I tried my best to not make my eyes redder and irritated than it was.
Along the ride back home, I realized one thing: I'm never gonna fall in love with anyone no more after this. Feeling this broken after a bad relationship was the worst thing I ever felt in my life, and I was scared of it. But the truth is, the relationship between Stan and I wasn't bad, it wasn't worse even... it left me with great memories of being with him together. I'm crying not because of his actions earlier but because I can't do those good things with him anymore, the things that made me happy was gone and I hated it.
To make things worse, when was the last time I ever felt that happy with someone? You ever think about that one that could just go on that route of the journey with you. Along the lines, they don't just be your lover but a friend you could talk too. It's not about the journey that makes it meaningful, but it's the person. I had so much fun going in this relationship with him, and when I saw him like that... I just don't even know if all this time, the person that goes through the journey with was him. It felt like I don't even know him at all.
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When we get in front of my house, I stay still inside the car. Both of my friends look at me, waiting for me to say something. We have waited here for about fifteen minutes, and I was ready, ready to go home and take a good night's rest... that would happen after crying again inside the showers.
I look up to both of them then nodded.
Liara reach for me and gave me a hug, rubbing my back comfortingly. "You're alright, just stay focus," I nodded at her than go to do a fist bump with Charlie. "Stop crying, buddy. My pretty face couldn't handle all the ugliness,"
I laughed, then go on to hug him as well. Even though we're best friends, and he's straight, hugging him was nothing awkward. He pats me on the back. I couldn't do shits without these two and hell, only them knows my situation.
"Okay... okay... off you go. Hugging is not my cliché at all," He snorted and I let go of him. I got out then go on to say goodbyes to both of them while Charlie drove out of my front yard slowly.
Going up to my front door, I thought to myself that I wanted to come out to my parents after knowing they're okay with gays but now... I really don't know if I should. Sighing to myself, I open the door. The first thing that I do when I got in was getting off my shoes. But then Dad came into view and all hell break loose.
"Son? Your late... is there something going on at school?" He asked, looking at me. He seems to be arrived from upstairs.
I just couldn't handle it anymore. It may be just because seeing how my dad cared for me breaks me even more. I didn't care if I was not being manly, I want to be hugged.
My feet walk its way automatically towards him, hugging him so tightly. Dad gasped slightly, but then he puts his hand on top of my head, patting me softly. I cried so hard inside his grasp, I wanted this attention from my family. I wanted to be rest assured that I was in fact broken and I'm gonna be so for years to come if I ever get broken like this again.
"It's alright, son... I know what you're feeling," He said. Mom came downstairs to see us like this and Dad just shrugged at her. I continue to gush out my feelings into my dad's arm. It was relieving for me.
After minutes of crying, both of my parents brought me to the couch, sitting beside me. "What's wrong honey? Is anyone at school bothering you?" Mom asked, putting away her glasses on the coffee table.
I nodded, looking down to my fingers. "Do we know who this person is? Is it Charlie? Did he make you cry? That kid sure got his eyes on his phone all the time I wouldn't doubt-,"
"No, dad... Charlie did nothing. In fact, he helped me to calm down," I cut in, defending my friend who did nothing but supports me.
"Then tell us...," Mom continued. I didn't say a word after that. I was scared that it would make them mad at me... for being gay.
When I did nothing to response, Dad sighed. "Look... son... if you're going into trouble, just tell us. If you're going through a hard time, then tell us. I know... both your mom and I wasn't really there for you when you needed us the most. We left you unattended back then. Now... both of us are here. I even quit my job to just make time for you," My eyes widen, I look at him with such a shocking face. I felt guilty somehow.
"Yes, I know... I should have told that earlier but seeing you here just isn't compare to some job. I could get another one because of hard work. But I cared the most is your well-being. You're alone in this and I can see that. I know that I used to force you to go to extra classes, work hard for your future but I realize... is that really what you wanted? And all I can see here, what you want is comfort, safety, and we want to provide that... do you listen?"
I couldn't feel sadder in my life. My parents did love me. The fact that Dad quits his job was enough to show he cared. I was taking this for granted. I didn't want to.
Giving a nod, both of them smile a little at me. "I broke up with my lover,"
"Lover? You have a girlfriend? Why you didn't tell us?"
"I wanted to... actually. But I needed confirmation...," I explained, giving a little hint about Friday when I asked them about something concerning their opinions on gay people.
Mom smiles. "It's a boy, isn't it?" She just knows me so well.
"Yes...," I muttered.
"I knew you were gay," Dad chimed in, having me look at him. I raise my brows at him and mom. "When you asked that question before, it just gives a signal that you want us to be okay with the idea of being gay to make you feel confident or less nervous when you come out to us... we're not block-heads, Kai," Dad said, leaving me feeling embarrassed.
"So you're okay with me being gay?" I asked.
"Yes! Of course, we do. Although it took a while to accept it... but whatever, your love towards someone doesn't define anything. It only defines you," Mom consoled.
Dad ruffles my hair. "Love is subjective kid, you can't control the stereotypes of love,"
I smiled, happy in a way that even when I broke up, my parents accepted me. I guess the good comes out from the bad, and the bad... is something I have to let go. Even if it hurts, maybe there was a reason why it was made this way.
"Oh sweetie... whoever broke up with you is sure gonna miss this young, adventurous and striking face of yours," Mom hugs me, kissing the top of my head. I chuckled.
Because she was right.
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