"Are you okay?", it's now the third time since Stewart has been asking the same question.
My hands were shaking so much that l weakly handed Stewart's phone back to him in fear that l might drop it. He worriedly stood close behind me, anticipating that l might give away at any moment.
"Look, l think you should sit down to process this more clearly", Stewart said from behind me, gently putting his hand on the small of my back as a precaution.
I don't know, should I be happy at this revelation or should it depress me with more "WHYs". The more l'm finding out is the more l'm getting confused, the more the questions I have.
So the school needs a signature from a biological relative for enrollment approval of every student along with the family history and the student's academic records.
All the other information was not available on my forms which is suspicious but the most shocking thing was that the one who signed as my biological relative is my mother.
So she's alive, there is a possibility that dad is still alive too. But why do they never show up? Why do they not stay with me, their daughter? Do they not care about me? Are they also egoistic rulers who use their children as pawns? Were they not excited to see their daughter coming out of the hospital?
"So all this time Stewart?", l said feeling my throat tighten with emotions, the rim of my eye lids burning.
"Hey hey please don't cry, it's okay, l think she was eventually going to tell you", Stewart said calmly..
He tenderly grasped my forearm and twirled me around to face him. He put on a half smile, "look at me", l did. "looking at the bright side, your mother is alive and still able to play a part in your life. My mom..."
"Mhm!, l hope l'm not interrupting a good moment", we all turned to look and saw the same young lady who had previously escorted auntie Yolei and Deborah standing a few feet from us.
Stewart sighed a bit annoyed, "what is it now, Jullie?".
"I know l interrupted a moment and l said l'm sorry okay", she said with a light chuckle.
"So what else do you want, l'm sure you did not come to watch a free show", Stewart said suggestively. I playfully hit his upper arm for saying that. They both laughed.
"How adorable", Jullie commented with a dreamy look. "Oh!, Stewart!", she exclaimed as though she had forgotten, "dad is waiting for you in the office, he wants to talk to you".
Stewart turned to look at me with an apologetic look on his face.
"You can go Stewart, we will talk sometime", l hurriedly answered before he could say anything.
He nodded then left in haste. I saw Jullie giving him a knowing look when he passed by her. Stewart returned her a daring one. I almost snickered.
Jullie walked to me as soon as Stewart disappeared through the door. She stood right in front of me causing me to instinctively take a step backwards.
"Arielle right?, what a beautiful name, suits you perfectly. The Loires are just... unique", she said studying me closely in a way that made me a bit apprehensive.
"Umm", l didn't know what to say for a while. "thanks?", l whispered, being the only thing l could think of after her comment.
I was about to find an excuse to leave when she suddenly asked, "can you please spare me a little moment with you?, l promise l won't take long"' she pleaded looking at me hopefully.
I sighed inwardly before nodding and half heartedly agreed. I followed her as she moved past me to the rails. She leaned on them and I did the same.We stayed silent for a short while until she decided to speak.
"I know that my father kind of you forced into this ...", she sighed, "...this arrangement" , she finished with an uneasy chuckle.
I looked at her but didn't say a thing. I didn't understand where this conversation with her was going.
"Believe me, l know well enough to know that's what he did", she paused to let out a sigh.
"Look, l know it's wrong what he did but at least I want you to know that he doesn't have any bad intentions. I can also tell that my brother has fallen for you but maybe you only see Stewart as a friend", she finished the sentence with her grey eyes scanning my face trying to weigh the impact of her words on me. I smiled back sheepishly. She smirked when she noticed that l was caught up.
"Yeah Arielle, l can see right through you and my brother, nothing passes by me unnoticed", her eyes twinkled with amusement.
She straightened herself then took a few steps to me covering the distance between us. She reached for my forearm and delicately held my palm. I suspiciously looked at her with a raised eye brow.
"You see, dad is trying to reunite our family because he was the very reason it fell apart. Grandma and grandpa didn't want to support dad's relationship with mom because...",
She paused for a while to steady her voice. Her voice had suddenly become wavery she was trying hard to not let the resentful tone slip. Her eyes were slowly reddening. I could tell that she was trying to keep herself from reminiscing a bad memory. She blinked back the tears in her eyes.
"... because mom was a nobody to them, she didn't come from a wealthy family or a reputable lineage, she was just... normal and they didn't want her. She was treated like a mop, pushed around with no one in the family to care about her except dad. Dad was the only one who stuck by her through thick and thin. Yes, dad forced the marriage despite the criticism, the hate and the fights he had to endure. Even though almost the entire family didn't show up at the wedding. Mom and dad tried to keep up until Stewart had just stopped suckling and then she had to run away. Far away where none of our family members would know. She had to survive, if she continued to stay with us, she could have been killed. I swear they care more about their family reputation than anything. You see, l had to be both sister and mother to Stewart, father tried to be dad and mom at the same time but I could see that it was killing him"
By now, tears had forcefully broke from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. She didn't bother to wipe them or hide the fact that she was hurting.
Without giving it much thought, l engulfed her into a tight hug. She stiffened for a moment at the unexpected move but relaxed immediately. She let her weight on me, l know l'm not a very strong person but I can definitely handle this.
She rested her head on my shoulder, sniffing. Her body was shivering from exhausting a lot of emotions in a short time. I rubbed her back up and down soothingly with one hand whilst the other was lightly stroking her grey hair that resembled Stewart's, only that her's is much longer.
After a short while she had calmed, slumped in my arms. I could feel her having occasional quiet hiccups. She pulled away.
"Ah finally", she sighed contentedly. "Someone to listen to me", she said with a grim smile.
She looked away embarrassed by her vulnerability, then stared back at me timidly, "thank you", she whispered with an appreciative smile.
"It's okay", l whispered back.
"I like you already ", she said with a bit of amusement in her voice. "If you were part of the family, we would be the best in-laws"
I smiled at her, she smiled back. She recovers from sadness quicker than I expected. She is quit a strong character. Sometimes l'm amazed at how some people are able to laugh and still enjoy their lives with so much suffering that they would have gone through.
We settled in comfortable silence for a while after that, before she finally decided to break it.
"Arielle, l know dad might want you to be part of the family so it will make him feel accepted again as a significant part of the family, the family wants you because your marriage with Stewart will reunite and strengthen not only us as a family but also the everlasting bond between the Greyson and the Loire family but...", she looked me in the eyes with sincerity, "Stewart is not seeing that when he looks at you, believe me, he is seeing the love of his life, it's the first time he fall for someone so deeply, he can't stop talking about the day he first saw you in the office. He is so deeply in love with you that l can't imagine him doing anything to take advantage of you".
"I- l, l don't know what to ...", l struggled not knowing how l should feel about it now.
"And you don't have to, Arielle. I know it's hard and l'm not forcing you into anything now, l just want you to at least know that despite my family's selfish desires there is something real, Stewart's love for you is the only thing that makes him very happy. Ever since you entered his life, even though not entirely, he is genuinely happy, just like he was before mother left. Also my love for you, more than just a sister in-law but bossom friends, shoulder to lean on through thick and thin, more faithful than the shadow that leaves you at night, and l mean it", she said with sincerity laced with her voice.
We stood like that for a while, just facing each other with nothing else to say. So lost in the thoughts, leaving me contemplating like never before.
Though Jullie didn't say it, her tone said it. She was pleading, she was pleading with me because she was afraid of being left alone again with no one to turn to. That time that the entire family had neglected them must have left her without any trust in them. She fears that history might repeat itself.
She wants her father to be happy, she wants Stewart to be happy, she wishes for her little family to be accepted again. Her greatest fear is the same thing that happened to her father happening to Stewart too. I being in her position would have done anything l could to make my family happy.
"Ladies, sorry to interrupt but the family is gathering for the dinner, everyone should be there", the waiter said from the entrance, a dishtowel carefully draped on his forearm.
"Okay thank you, we're coming soon", Jullie dismissed the waiter.
She looked at me, "l guess we have to be there". She made for the doors but stopped when she saw that my face was showing that l was getting uncomfortable.
"Can I please pass?", l asked, even though I knew that was a stupid question. Of course l must be there, l'm one of the reason the family is reuniting.
She bite her lower lip to stop herself from laughing. Her face slowly turned into a concerned one.
"Okay, l know you are nervous about this but l assure you, it'd just be like a normal family dinner but only that it's a larger family.
I wasn't convinced an inch.
"Come on pleeease", she whined.
Noticing that l wasn't going to change my mind anytime soon, she held my arm assuring, "don't worry, l will seat close to you"
-
"Oh, I thought your full name was Juliette"
"Most people thought so, no one could guess that l was named after the month l was born, don't you think my parents are lazy ones?", she chuckled.
"No actually, it sounds beautiful on you, it really suits you"
We were talking on our way to the dinning room. I was grateful that Jullie was familiar with the wide passage ways because l could have easily got lost in the maze.
The wide passages with slippery fine wooden tiles and rich wooden walls made me feel deja Vu. The large chandeliers with dangling diamonds were making me dizzy. It was like a memory was slowly trying to make it's way out of the back of my mind but failing. I stumbled a few steps catching jullie's attention.
"Arielle, are you okay?", she asked worriedly.
I inched closer to the walls and leaned my shoulder for support. My head felt like it was floating in mid space. I closed my eyes trying to hold myself together.
"Arie...", was the last thing l heard before l was completely drowned in a memory.
"Arie", a voice too familiar called causing me to look back from the tall bookshelf.
"Come here", she said as she set on the couch by the tall golden curtains pulled sideways for the sunlight to brighten the room, my father's library.
"Here", she patted the space beside her. I obliged.
"You know we love you right?", her voice was firm but tender at the same time.
"You have no idea how much we love you and trust you. Your father and l are counting on you, our only hope. No matter what happens to us, you have to keep the family name going on and on", sigh,"we might all have to disappear or separate for a while and that doesn't mean we don't care about you or we're not watching you, it's just that that's what has to be for us to survive this approaching jeopardy"