Chapter 18: Dead of Wynter: Chapter 17

“Punishment?” I whisper as the blood rushes from my head. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that word directed at me, and fear rises through my body until it chokes me, reminding me of all the reasons I never let men get close to me.

“Yes, little dove. You were beyond careless today. Anything could have happened to you, and you need to be punished accordingly.”

The familiar feeling of panic grasps my lungs until I can barely drag a breath in. I never wanted anyone to know about this part of my life, about the part of me they didn’t know was broken, but with each second that passes I realize Everett is about to find out my dirty little secret and he’ll never look at me the same way again.

“Wynter?” Everett’s worried eyes focus on my face and I almost can’t take it. Because I’ve been so mad at him for not telling me why he left, but I’ve been holding just as much back as he has. “Hey.” He grasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forces my eyes up to meet his. “I’ll never give you more than you can handle. You have to know I wouldn’t really hurt you.”

I try to shake my head to break our eye contact, but he won’t allow it. I should know better than to even try, but I’ll never learn. “Let me go,” I whisper.

“Never.”

That single word holds so much meaning and the power behind it is almost enough to tear me out of my panic. Almost.

“I keep telling you, Wynter. You’re mine. Every single part of you belongs to me, just like every single part of me has always, and will always belong to you.” His fingertips trail across my cheek, soothing my racing heart just enough for me to drag a breath into my lungs.

He watches me closely, his eyes surveying every move I make as he continues his gentle strokes of my cheek until I’m leaning into him. After all this time he still has the ability to read me like a book. He knows what I’m feeling almost as well as I do, and most of the time he knows what I’ll do long before I even decide to do it.

It’s only when the car comes to a stop at the front gates of the estate that he finally tears his eyes away from mine and I feel the loss immediately. He’s holding me together as my body longs to fall apart.

“We’re home,” he says quietly.

The car pulls up the long driveway and stops outside the stairs leading to the front door. Before I can say a word, before I can move a muscle, Everett bundles me up in his arms and carries me through the house, not stopping to acknowledge any of my family and their questioning gazes. Storm looks partially amused as we pass him on the stairs, but behind the wall he builds to protect himself, he was scared. When I disappeared and he didn’t know where I was, my big brother showed something he doesn’t very often.

Fear.

The moment we reach my bedroom I know I’m in trouble. The soft, caring Everett from the car is gone, and he’s replaced by a man I should be terrified of.

He places me in the middle of the room and stares down at me, his gaze burning into my skin. “Why did you run?” he asks.

I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, relief flooding me that he doesn’t ask why I panicked when he mentioned punishment. “I needed some space. I can’t be locked in this estate all the time, and being close to you when you’re hot and cold…” I shake my head. “I’m always waiting for you to leave again.”

“Have you listened to anything I’ve said since I came back? What part of ‘I’m not going anywhere’ did you not understand?” he growls.

“The part where you’ve said that before,” I snap. “You promised you would always be with me, you promised we would see the world together. And none of that meant shit to you when you left me without a word.”

“I had to! I didn’t leave because I wanted to, Wynter. I’ve spent eight years watching you from afar, seeing you live your life, watching you thrive without me, and it’s been the cruelest form of torture I can imagine.”

“Then tell me why you left.”

He takes a deep breath as if considering what the next words out of his mouth are going to be. “Not yet.”

I scoff. “Of course. Okay, if you can’t tell me that, what was in the box?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” He tears his eyes away from me and my stomach drops. This is what the rest of our lives will be like if I allow myself to fall at his feet. Him giving me half-truths and keeping secrets, and I deserve more than that.

I turn around and head toward the bathroom just to get away from him. I’m not stupid enough to think he’ll allow me to step foot out of this room, but at least I can try to get myself together in the meantime.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you. You keep telling me how things are going to be, you keep telling me that I’m yours, but if that were true you would tell me what the fuck is going on. I am just as much a part of this as you and my brothers. I’m the one that made the threat, so of course I expected retaliation, but you won’t even do me the fucking courtesy of telling me what the fuck was in the box that was addressed to me,” I yell. The fury I’ve held back since the night he walked back into my life with no explanation bursts out of me all at once until red hot tears roll down my cheeks. “And if you don’t respect me enough to tell me what’s going on, I’m going to respect myself enough to walk away before you break my heart again.”

Strong hands grasp my hips from behind and spin me so quickly I almost lose my footing, but a moment later my back hits the bed and the air leaves my lungs. Everett pins me down with his body, the gentleness he showed last night in this position at complete odds with how he’s handling me now. “You will not walk away from me, Wynter.”

“But it’s okay for you to walk away from me? Got it,” I snap.

A deep rumble escapes from his throat as he stares down at me. Being pinned down by anyone else would have a sense of dread and terror rolling over me, but not Everett. Even as my mind and heart fight him with everything we’ve got, my body succumbs, knowing it’s safe in his hands. “Have you listened to a word I’ve said since I walked back into this house, Wynter? Or are you only hearing what you want to hear?”

I glare at him but make no attempt to free myself from where he’s trapped me beneath his body.

“I will tell you everything you need to know, but not right now. And as for the box, it doesn’t matter what was inside, all that matters is that you’re safe, and that’s how you’re going to stay, because if you ever pull a stunt like the one you did today, I will not hesitate to lock you up and throw away the goddamn key.”

“Even if it makes me hate you?” I ask quietly.

“I’d rather you hate me while you’re alive than love me while you’re dead.”

His profound words leave me without a rebuttal, something that doesn’t happen very often. I’ve been in meetings with some of the most powerful people in the world looking down on me, and I’ve always had a response for them, but not Everett. He renders me speechless more than I’ll ever admit to anyone.

“Now, here’s what’s going to happen, and I promise you will not like the consequences if you fight me on this.” He gives me a pointed stare. “You are going to strip for me, without complaint or argument, and then you are going to bend your pretty ass over the bed and accept your punishment like a good girl.”

I stare up at him through wide eyes, but I can’t find my voice to say no. I should. There are a million reasons I shouldn’t allow him to do this to me, and the scars he’ll find are only the beginning of them, but for some reason I can’t help but nod. Something in his eyes tells me he needs this, and maybe I do too.