Fabio's POV
"Tom.. I did something stupid", I say as soon as he walks in. It's just a few minutes after Julie left.
"What is it?", he can tell I'm anxious. I screwed up and Tom will be mad. He's so protective of her. And she's out there alone right now. Without a phone. Without knowing anyone. Who knows what will happen.
"I scared her off.. she wanted to go running in that thick sweatpants and big warm jacket. And I told her she couldn't.. I gave her basketball shorts and I took my shirt off, so she could wear it. She completely freaked and left"
"Fabio, it can't be that bad. We'll just call her in an half hour. Don't stress"
"She left without her phone"
"Oh, shit..", you can see the protective older brother taking over. "We can't actually do much"
"We can go look for her?", I feel responsible for her. I don't know, she opened up to me and let me in, that did something with me.
"Yeah, but she can come back as well. Maybe we just wait? I don't want her getting back here without us knowing"
Julie's POV
I've been sitting against some building for a while now. I got dizzy from all the walking and didn't really know the way back.
"Hey, you're Fabio and Tom's friend, right?", I hear a voice next to me. Looking up, I see Pecco standing there.
"Hey, yeah, Julie"
"What're you doing here?", He asks looking around.
"To be totally honest, I don't really know. I got dizzy so just sat down"
"When was the last time you ate?", Pecco sits down next to me.
"I don't really know. I didn't today. Maybe yesterday morning?"
Pecco shakes his head, "that's bad. You're coming with me for some pasta. Sound good?"
I nod.
Pecco stands up again and gives me a hand. "Wait, do you have Fabio's number?", I ask, he nods. "I don't have my phone. Can you text him?"
Pecco takes his phone, unlocks it and calls Fabio, handing it to me.
"Pecco?", Fabio answers immediately.
"It's Julie"
"Julie! You okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry. Pecco is getting me something to eat and then I'll be back"
"Okay, be careful"
I hand the phone back to Pecco. He starts his scooter and helps me on the back. He rides to the Ducati hospitality. He helps me off and inside, sitting me down.
After a few minutes he comes back with two plates of pasta. Sitting down in front of me.
"Go ahead"
The pasta is delicious. I've never tasted something so good.
"Thank you", I tell him while eating. Pecco nods, "why didn't you eat?"
"I actually forgot. I don't even know if I ate yesterday, maybe it was even the day before"
"You must have a lot on your mind", he looks at me for a few moments.
"Can I ask you something?", I ask him.
"Yeah, sure"
"Are you and Fabio friends?", I am very curious about this. They are very nice to each other. At least as far as I saw.
"Ah.. ehm, no. I don't think we really are friends. But we aren't enemies or rivals either"
"Okay, so you are just like colleagues outside of the track?"
"Yeah, something like that. Are you and Fabio friends?", He asks the same question.
"I guess. I mean, I'm Tom's friend. Fabio and I just know each other for like a week"
It's a little over a week since that lunch and it was only yesterday my plane landed. Crazy to think about how fast everything's going.
"Okay, are you his fan?", Pecco asks another question.
"A little. To be completely honest, I watch MotoGP since I was very little with my dad. I was a Max Biaggi fan, a Rossi fan, but most of all a Marco Simoncelli fan. Now I'm your fan and Fabio's. I hoped you won misano 2 last year"
"Really?" A small smile playing around his face.
"Yeah. I like the fact that you have no arrogance. You always talk about the team, about how you did it together. How grateful you are to Rossi and the academy. I think that's pretty amazing"
He looks at the table, almost shy, "I find it hard you know. We, the team, works so hard. But till Portimao, the feeling was gone. It's back a little now. And the media, they just want you to talk bad about Ducati and your own team"
"You are doing an amazing job. Can I give you one tip, though?", Pecco nods, "relax a little. I mean, I've never been on a bike. Let alone with 300km/h. But you seem more tense in your riding. And I think it's a two way street. You need to have a good feeling to relax, but relaxing also gives a better feeling. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah. I'll think about it. Thank you", he smiles at me "shall I bring you back?"
"Yes, thanks"
We stand up, walking towards his scooter. Me getting on the back again and riding to Fabio's motorhome.
"Thank you for your help, the food, everything", I say, while getting off.
"No problem. Thank you for the kind words and advise. Take care, ciao"
I smile, seeing him ride away. He calmed me down, without really knowing it.
I get up the stairs and get inside the motorhome. Two heads snap up and I see Tom's curious eyes and Fabio's almost guilty ones.
"I'm okay now. I'm sorry, there was a lot happening today."
"It was my fault, I wasn't thinking", Fabio immediately says.
"No, it wasn't. Really", I smile at him, "look, I'm gonna go writing a little before sleeping, okay?"
They both nod, saying "good night" before I withdraw to 'my' room.
I hear them talking for a while before it's quiet. It takes a few minutes, before there's a knock on the door. "Yeah?"
The door opens a little and Fabio appears, "can I come in?"
"Yeah, of course. What's up?"
"I just wanted to apologize", he sits down on the edge of the bed. "And see if you are okay"
"Fabio, I'm okay, really", I smile at him. "You don't have to apologize, because it was my fault. I was not in the right mindset this afternoon. And it was just something extra I couldn't handle. Wrong time, wrong place"
"You sure?"
"Yeah, really. Don't worry"
"Okay", he stands up, ready to go back, but lingers at the door.
"What's up?", I ask after a few moments of silence.
"You umm you want to sleep in my bed?", Wait.. what? What does he mean.. that's not something I was expecting, nor something I get. Does he mean like sleep sleep or the other s word?
"Shit.. sorry. I mean because of the nightmares? I thought you'd may sleep better", he tries to explain.
"Oh..", I turn red for thinking something else. "Ehm, I don't want to bother you, so I'll sleep here"
"Okay. But just so you know, you wouldn't be bothering me", he walks out, closing the door behind him.
I wouldn't be bothering him? So he wants me to sleep in his bed? Or he doesn't care? This is so confusing.. wait maybe he means the nightmares wake him up and bother him. If sleeping with him means no nightmares, than it won't bother him. Yeah.. that must be it. Then I'll stay awake and sleep in the morning when he has practice.
I fill the pages with all my thoughts. It helps. The fact that I freaked out when Fabio took his shirt off, doesn't really sit well with me. I saw him without a shirt before. The man practically never wears a shirt. Even when we talked last night, he wasn't wearing one. Maybe it was because we were in his bedroom.. or maybe it was because of the feeling I got when he took his shirt off..
What actually was the feeling I got? I got very hot and became shy. something that didn't happen the other times. It was uncomfortable in a good way. Something I haven't experienced for a long time. It almost felt like, how I felt with Alex the first few weeks. But I don't know if that's the best thing. I mean, I don't need to fall for someone right now. And Fabio would never feel something like that for me.
Maybe I'm just projecting feelings on him, without really having them? I hope so. And I hope I won't get them.
It's been a few hours since Fabio went to his room, so I quietly go to the kitchen for a glass of water. When I sit down, the light snaps on and Fabio walks in.
"Can't sleep?"
"Not really, you?", He asks, sitting down. He's wearing a large shirt and some shorts. It makes him look a little younger.
"Didn't really try yet. Was still writing"
"Wanna tell me about it?"
"Maybe you wanna tell me why you can't sleep first?"
"Yeah.. but can you join me in bed? I'm getting cold sitting here. I promise to stay on one side of the bed", I hesitate a second before nodding. I've spent hours talking in bed with Tom. Why should this be different?
It feels different though. Fabio walks back to his room, waiting for me at his door.
I take my glass with me and go inside. I hesitate beside the bed, before getting in. Eventually I just sit down on top, crossing my legs. Fabio lays down beneath the covers.
"You okay?", Fabio asks.
"Yeah, I'm good. Why are you still awake?", I feel like I shouldn't be here too long. I don't know why because I really trust him.
"You know, I can't shut my mind off tonight. I'm confident for this weekend, the bike feels good, we are ready. But..", Fabio begins.
"So it's not the racing or this weekend you're thinking about? Then what is it?"
"I don't know.. my mind is all over the place. I've never really had that", Fabio groans.
"I am one of the things, aren't I?", I ask softly, almost in a whisper. It stays quiet, no answer is also an answer. "It's okay, you can say it", I look at him calmly.
"Yeah you are. I'm worried. I feel like I need to protect you, but I'm failing", he doesn't look at me. He just looks at the ceiling.
"You have no obligation to me. You don't need to protect me. So you're not failing", I try to settle his mind. "I'll get my things together and will leave tomorrow morning. Don't worry, I'll be fine", I shift, so I can stand up and walk away.
"No", his voice stops me. "When will you accept it? You are clearly not okay. That's what scares me the most"
"No, of course I'm not. And I'm really scared I never will be. But I just don't want all of you to worry over me. Maybe coming here was a bad idea..", I whisper the last part. I don't want to think it, but maybe it was.
"Do you really think that?", Is all Fabio asks.
"I.. no. For me, these days were better than back home. But for you, they clearly aren't. I can't handle it, if me being here will interfere with your riding"
"It won't. I think I just need you to let me in. Talk to me. Don't shut me out"
"I'll try my best", I promise him.
"And don't leave tomorrow. Please", Fabio adds looking me in the eyes for the first time during this conversation. "Let's try to get some rest. The bed is big enough for the both of us"