Hello!
Sorry for the long wait, but here's a new chapter!
Enjoy and thank you for reading!!
xx
Fabio's dad is very sweet and caring, I can see where Fabio gets his caring side from. I know they talk a lot, sometimes just on the couch when I'm there as well. They talk about racing, the rest of the season, but also about our relationship. Fabio sometimes tells me bits and pieces.
I think it's great that Fabio can talk to his dad about these things. You can really tell he's close to his family and that his family is important to him.
They facetimed his mother a few times and also his brother one time. I tried to give them their space and I think it's working out pretty well.
Fabio is in a good mood again and we are pretty good again. We are relaxed around each other and it's better than it was when coming here.
I feel appreciated and loved again and that's amazing. That's all I want to feel. I will try to keep it this way.
Tomorrow we are flying to Australia for the raceweekend and after it's only two races. I know Fabio feels a little pressure of the championship. He only has a few points advantage now, so he has to do good to keep it. But he is confident as well. So I'm sure it will all go well for him.
Fabio's dad is going home today. He really wanted to go back to his wife. And it's really sweet to see the love he has for her. I hope when I'm that age I will feel the same.
"Julie, thank you for opening your home for me and letting me stay here this week", Fabio's dad says, hugging me. It takes me by surprise and I don't really know what to say. "You are exactly what he needs but please take good care of yourself. And don't hesitate to call when you need help", he whispers so Fabio doesn't hear, before letting me go.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes because of his words. You are exactly what he needs. That's not something I thought I would ever hear from Fabio's parents. It's so nice to feel a little accepted.
"Have a safe flight home. And thank you for coming here, really thank you", my voice is soft when I tell him this and I try hard to not let the tears fall.
He smiles and nods before walking towards the car and Fabio gives me a quick kiss on top of my head, before following him.
While Fabio's driving him to the airport, I'm making dinner. I want to do something special for this night together, so I'm making one of Fabio's favourite healthy meals. He is of course still on his diet and he already went to dinner this week, but I know he loves this food. The kitchen table is neatly set, a few candles are lit and I think it looks romantic. I pour myself a glass of wine and drink it to calm my nerves.
I don't really know if Fabio wants this right now, maybe he wants to get as much sleep as possible or wants to do a workout before going to bed. So I'm a little nervous about his reaction.
"Drinking without me?", I hear behind me before I feel arms around my waist. I didn't hear Fabio come inside, I was too deep in thoughts. "What's this?", he asks, gesturing towards the table.
"I wanted to make this night special", I say blushing. "Maybe you had other plans, but I was just thinking.. tomorrow we are going back to Australia, then Malaysia. It's gonna be busy and I don't know how much time we'll have, just the two of us"
I am aware of my rambling and I take another glass to relax a little.
"It's amazing, thank you. I'm also very grateful for the past week. Having Papa here really helped", he kisses my cheek before getting himself a glass of water.
We sit and enjoy the dinner together. It's relaxing and romantic. We flirt a little and occasionally hold hands. I think it's the most romantic dinner I've had.
Afterwards we share a relaxing bath. I always thought that that would be awkward to do, but it's actually quite nice. The shower after gets a little heated and we enjoy our night together afterwards in bed.
The trip to Melbourne is long. We first have to go to Amsterdam to travel from there. Then we have a flight to Qatar, before continuing to Melbourne.
We travel to Amsterdam by train and I think that's not something Fabio is used to. He looks around like it's all new to him. I just try to relax and shut off my brain and thoughts. I'm a little nervous. Nervous about the long flight, my first long overseas flight was to Tokyo. And this is just really long again. And I'm more nervous about the last few weeks of this season. It's gonna be hectic, it's gonna be stressful. I hope we will get through that without a scratch. But somehow I'm not so sure about that.
And while failing to shut off my brain, I keep thinking about how it will go, what could go wrong. We are at Schiphol Airport in no time like this.
Both flights are over quickly and that says something for those long flights. We both fall asleep almost immediately and sleep through most of it. We didn't get much sleep during the night and it's good for the jetlag. It's noon when we get off the plane and we can get on with our day like nothing happened. It's Wednesday, which means a slow day. I need to be at the track because I am going on a walk with Jake, but that's it for me. And I think Fabio is going to work out and that's it for him.
We first settle in the hotel closeby. For Australia and Malaysia, Fabio is staying in a hotel. The suite is a lot like the one in Japan and nothing I'm used to. It has two separate bedrooms, a bathroom and a living room.
"Is Tom staying here as well?", I ask Fabio, walking around the suite. Fabio places our bags in one of the rooms and comes back to find me.
"One room is his, but he's staying in Mathildes room. So we have this place to ourselves", he says, winking.
He pulls me into his arms and places his lips on mine. The kiss is sweet and soft, but demanding and it feels like we belong together. Our lips perfectly in sync, fitting together like a puzzle.
My hands go through his hair and scratch his scalp lightly, Fabio groans loudly and picks me up. He walks me towards the couch and carefully lays me down, my legs are wrapped around his waist and he crawls on top of me.
"I need to be at the track in 30 minutes..", I don't want to stop. But at the same time, I don't know if I want this. I hope we will keep talking and stay close to each other and not just at a sexual level.
"Jake will wait", Fabio tells me. His lips are against my neck, kissing and sucking.
It feels really good, but I'm conflicted. Do I really want this right now?
"Can.. can we stop?", I eventually ask, my voice nothing more than a whisper. Fabio immediately let's go of me and stands up.
"What's wrong?", Fabio asks confused, his voice full of concern.
"I just don't really feel like it right now. I don't want to keep Jake waiting and it just feels wrong right now", I try to explain. "Can we maybe continue this tonight?"
I can't really explain how I'm feeling right now, I want to continue, I feel so much attraction between us. But at the same time, I don't want to go back to being close, but being distant at the same time. I'm afraid we'll stop talking and just have a physical relationship. But how do I tell him this, without putting pressure on him and without hurting his feelings?
"Yeah, of course. Don't worry about it", he tells me, hugging me tight. "Are you gonna give him our present?"
We bought a small present at the airport for Jake and Sarah, for their little girl. A Miffy gift set with three soft toys.
I shake my head. "I thought you could do it or we could do that together"
Fabio nods, "Let's do that together. Be safe, see you later". He kisses my cheek before I walk out of the door.
The ride to the Philip Island track is short and I'm there in no time. I wait for Jake in the pitlane and he comes jogging towards me within a few minutes.
"Hey. I'm sorry I'm late. Lost track of time", he says while quickly hugging me.
"I've only just arrived, so it's no big deal", I smile. "Congrats on the whole gender reveal. I can already see a cute little girly Jake running around", I continue, while we start walking.
"Thanks.. It's all still so unreal. I am going to be a dad soon", he sighs contently.
"And the best dad there is. That girl is gonna be the luckiest girl with such great parents", I gush.
"That's really sweet. But how are you?", Jake looks at me. I'm really glad I wore some sunglasses. That way I can atleast mask my emotions a bit for the outside world.
"We've had a few good days. Fabio was really down when we got to the Netherlands. And I couldn't make it better, so I eventually called his dad. He stayed with us and that really helped. Fabio and I benefitted from it as well and had a really romantic last night before flying out here", I sum up.
"That's good. And how are you?", he asks again.
"I'm okay. I mean, the procedure in the hospital went well. I can't say I felt pain or anything afterwards. His dad was really sweet to me. And the night before the flight was nice. Those are the moments I feel good.. loved and treasured"
"And you relaxed right? You took time to heal and stuff?", Jake asks everything so careful, but without pity or something in his voice. That really helps me.
"Yes sir", I grin a little. "No, I'm kidding.. I took things slow. I relaxed and took my time. Fabio spend a lot of time with his dad, so I made good friends with the couch and bed for a few days", I tell him. I watched a few movies and was busy reading, so I really listened this time.
"But I'm still worried, you know", I tell him softly.
"Worried about?", Jake lays his arm on my shoulders as a form of comfort.
"I don't know. We are back here. It will be stressful and I don't know how that will affect us. I couldn't get him out of the negative spiral after the last race. How do I get him out of it if he really loses the lead in the championship or loses the championship altogether?", I ask, there is a hint of nervousness in my voice.
"You don't know how it will go. Maybe he wins, maybe he loses. But I'm sure he's gonna deal with it just fine. Yeah he might need some time, but that's normal right?", Jake says. He gently squeezes my shoulder before letting go.
I shrug. He is right, but at the same time.
"I feel like he's gonna shut me out again..", I say. I wanna say more, but I don't know how to explain myself.
"If you really think he's gonna shut you out, you have to tell him your fear. That's the only way to stop stressing about it", Jake tells me. We are at the pitlane entry, which means we completed our lap. We walk back into the pitlane, before we hug each other and say goodbye.